Aspen Martinus

Journal

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• Journal Entries

  • Music December 4th 2016

    Written in wispy thoughtful strokes

    
    
    
    
    

  • Enough June 14th 2016

    Written with care

    
    
    
    

  • Obey May 29th 2016

    Written in simple lazy writing

    What is the definition of obedience. I thought that I once knew such a thing.
    
    Obey mother, obey father, obey grandfather, obey Emmerich. They knew what was good for me. Now all I can think about is Emmerich. No one else matters.
    
    Is that so bad?
    
    [Her writing seems to devolve into one phrase written over and over, lazy curls and swirls give hint that she isn't thinking about what she's writing.]
    
    

  • Revelations April 22nd 2016

    Today's words are written carefully, a flourish of penmanship that shows attention to details.

    
    
    I made new friends and seen many things. I feel like I am growing every day, with every step I take I feel like I am becoming stronger.
    
    Master Dalt, what a lovely man. I enjoy our tea together and when he smiles, though it's rare, he is beautiful. I've never met a vampire before, and I wonder if they are all so very stiff. It's when he unbends that I see the mortality in him, the human. Little flashes of a person who's kindness runs deep and like the ocean, holds more below than above. I could see myself becoming wonderful friends with him.
    
    Master Den Fa. Did you know I've seen him dance twice now? Everyone calls him empty and hollow but I've seen the fun side of him. He has such a lovely heart and you can see how deeply he cares about his daughter.
    
    She is staying with us at the moment, in the manor. She is so angry, breaking everything and causing trouble for the staff. I do not know what to do except give her my love. But then, so too does Blue need my attentions and I am not permitted to see him anymore because of the last incident. What a busy manor we have right now. Will I ever run out of love to give?
    
    Emmerich chided me for my generosity. I suppose I've always wanted for nothing. Antonio and mother saw me well cared for. Even were we poor I don't think I would ever shut the door to people in need. I'm sure I would give of all I had before I would take for myself.
    
    He is right though, we can't keep hemorrhaging money. That would be irresponsible. Yet, I want to give the world everything I can. Does that make me bad?
    
    Carabia has made a little progress on the project. Emmerich is going to see wondrous things, and he won't hurt anymore. I think that a new game of hunter will have to be made just for this occasion. Maybe I can get Zephyr to join me. He has been sad as of late, I'm sure he would love a distraction.
    
    -Aspen

  • Owl Banner April 20th 2016

    Written with a shaking hand

    
    
    Things circle in my head. Snow. Father. Blue. Embers. Falling rain. A letter I can't recall.
    
    I am slowly losing my mind and yet I am compelled. Driven.
    
    I need to save Blue. He is dying. Of that I am certain.
    
    I know who I have to seek but I do not know this person.
    
    I am not pathetic. I am not. I am a good person. I am not pathetic. I am not pathetic. I will save you Blue.

  • Lightning March 18th 2016

    A rather confusing journal entry...

    
    
    With time to think. I want to write out all of my thoughts in a single entry.
    Father is missing truth isn't something to be ignored. I am so very worried about him but there is little that I can do. I am no guardsman, no solider, no detective or person of significant power. No, all my power comes from Emmerich. he doesn't consider himself your father. But even so I am worried and I continue to think about him, hope for his safety, every day.
    
    Mother doesn't seem too upset with his disappearance, she had everything else to worry about though he is a power-driven man who seeks control-- She lost her legs. Poor mother. I am so sorry that she had to go through something so horrible. Especially since she works to hard to be a fighter.
    
    I am so glad for Emmerich. He who would never lie or hide the world from me. He who would treat me as an equal rather than as something to simply be used. She must have looked much like you do now. How fortunate I am to have found someone so completely part of me. I am planning something else to make his world new. I'm sure he's seen everything and I want him to see something he never would.
    
    I was confronted by Aeralis as well over my dear friend Ex'andar. She wanted me to help her in catching him by luring him into the open. No one could tell me why they were too-enthuastic spar partners wanted him arrested. He seemed like such a good person. He's always been so kind to me. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't have done it. That's not who I am.
    
    Then my poor little mechanical bird was caught by a cat and was broken. I thought for certain that it was going to be done for good. I said I'd tell you everything and-- Thankfully I ran into a lovely angel who used his special abilities to bring my little bird back to life.
    
    I also met a lovely lightening hell hound. We all kept quiet for you so it wouldn't hurt you. Can you believe all these amazing things that are happening to me? I am so very happy. Always happy.
    
    What an amazing life. Keep this paper. Read it tomorrow.
    
    -Aspen Le Vicomte d'Asyle

  • Emerald March 13th 2016

    written casually today.

    Things happen when you least expect it. Last night was one of them.
    
    As always the Cathedral was quiet and happy. So much so that I took a little time and before I knew it, I had drifted off to sleep. It's nice knowing that people were there to protect you.
    
    When I woke up Tys was there, waiting for me. It wasn't strange to see him, but he did seem a little different. He said he had a gift for me.
    
    Emmerich Samson Martinus will wonders never cease with you?
    
    Tillius had made me a ring, with the engraving of 'Elf Friend' on the box itself. It made me so happy. It seems the ring was made on the commission of Emmerich. To stop magic from affecting me the way it did. After last night I can tell you that it seems to be working.
    
    To know that all these people went out of their way to make such a beautiful and deeply meaningful thing for me. It reminds me of all the love I have and all the love I need to give.
    
    I will never take this ring off.
    
    -Aspen

  • Martinus March 6th 2016

    Written with extra energy and with a little newspaper clipping attached is the following. Hearts and doodles litter the page.

    
    
    
    
    

  • Sunlight March 2nd 2016

    Her hand doodles little stars and hearts on the page today.

    Today I spent most of my morning enjoying the sunrise from the library window seat in the manor. I have been reading up on a lot of history here and finding information about my new home. As Mister Firepaw said, I should set down roots. Clever pun.
    
    I went to the Cathedral yesterday accompanied by servants as always, I think I'm getting used to it but being alone is something I'm starting to miss. Even in my room I'm not sure if I'm ever alone. Mister Firepaw gave me a necklace. Something that makes me part of the clergy in the Cathedral.
    
    I was surprised, but pleasantly so. I can see myself doing this, and doing it well. My heart flutters just thinking about it.
    
    On the other hand I have avoided seeing Emmerich for days now. I feel so guilty and so terrible. Will he be angry? I really hope he isn't. Father hasn't come by lately and I have yet to see Mother at all. You would think they would be here to see me but they've been avoiding me it feels like.
    
    Patience. In everything. Always.
    
    -Aspen

  • Love February 28th 2016

    Written as if one's mind was racing with so many things.

    
    
    We always assume that things will go wrong. Perhaps it's a human trait or maybe it's learned. Today I woke up knowing that nothing could go wrong. It was such a clear thing. As I bathed everything was perfect, getting dressed, perfection. Nothing could go wrong!
    
    When I set foot into the cathedral the very joy of it filled my heart to overflowing. So many people everywhere, overwhelming amounts of people visiting just for the festival. I couldn't have been more proud of Black Ashley. Of myself!
    
    Now I have hearts to fill with love. Black Ashley, Dia, Faaide, Render, Key, Den Fa's daughter, and beautiful Bear lady. All of you I have to find and deliver prizes for being the stars of my arranged night sky.
    
    So light did I feel that when I ran across the field from the gate, red dress catching the wind and Zephyr's cloak billowing, I felt like I could jump into the air and fly.
    
    He kissed me. Not Emmerich. Zephyr. I was, I am so confused. It's different, Emmerich is my soul but Zephyr, he's so, kind. He makes my heart race just as much as Emmerich does.
    
    So why am I afraid to fall with him? Why is it with Zephyr, I feel like I can fly?
    
    -Aspen

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