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narrative

  • EVERYTHING I WANTED
    Billie Eilish

  • Striving For Perfection

    { HYEJI KELLEY ;; 임혜지 ;; AUGUST 7TH 1999 ;; JOURNALISM MAJOR }
    Eureka Springs, Arkansas. Lake Leatherwood glistening under the afternoon sun; Downtown looking like a movieset. Small town mansion living. Castle like house; living her best life. Your typical bratty rich kid; getting away with everything. If batting her long lashes, she would be granted everything she could ever want. Adored, treasured, spoiled. The popular girl at school. Priding herself on being the towns most beautiful girl, the wealthiest girl, the skinniest girl; the perfect girl. No one was even close to reaching her state of supremacy. Her mother finding a boyfriend in the big city; Davit Kelley. Moving to Los Angeles; ready to conquer a new city with her perfection. However moving to the City of Angels became a reality check for her. Private high school brimmed with preppy mean girls in identical uniforms; girls just like her. The City of Angels living up to its name. She was no longer special; no longer the only celestial beauty around. Just another face in the crowd; the new girl. Losing her identity as she became a Kelley. Her view of herself shattered; high expectations to herself she could no longer live up to. She wouldn’t tolerate the lack of respect and idolisation among her peers; she needed her reputation back, feeling like she was nothing if she wasn’t the best. Ready to use her always manicured claws to climb her way up to the throne, and so she did. Doing whatever it will take to once again be the ideal; wasted money, forced eating disorders, popularity over well being. A constant need for validation; confirmation of others adoring her. The attention of others disguising her low self esteem as confidence in her own mind. Attention of the opposite sex giving her temporary poise. Addicted to praises. Loving the sensation of letting them get close, just close enough to almost let them reach her; have her, just for her to reject them in cold blod. A tease; A heartbreaker. She craves the control. Knowing she is something they can’t have is making her feel better than the rest. Her method to obtain her faux confidence holding her back from truly reaching authentic self love. Letting people get close enough to get a taste for her, but never close enough for them to unveil her true self. Letting herself slowly break apart in secret for the empty promise of being adored, but is it really worth it?