Eric Cartman

Intro

• "" I'm you in the future ! You have to be patient and wait for the Nintendo Wii to come out, or else you'll wake up in the future and have to deal with a bunch of sea otters ! ""

• Basic Info

  • Name: Eric Cartman
  • Gender: Male
  • Played by: Illuminatus
  • Nicknames: Time Child
  • Race: Caucasian
  • Alignment: Neutral Evil
  • Age: 18
  • Height: 5'11"
  • Hair: Brown
  • Eyes: Blue/Brown
  • Handedness: Right

• Biography

  In the year 2546 AD, the world is overpopulated and a drought spanning generations has left the world without drinkable water and has caused a breed of sea otters to evolve to live on land. After the presidency of Herbert Garrison, what is left of America has become an atheist society.
  
  The atheists are split into three factions: the Unified Atheist League; the Allied Atheist Alliance; and the Unified Atheist Alliance. They have been fighting for a long, long time over the great question: what should the atheists call themselves ?
  
  Eric Cartman finds himself in this uncertain situation after being cryogenically frozen in a freak avalanche at the age of eight while waiting for the release of the nintendo wii and finds himself in a confrontation with the leader of the AAA, the sea otter named Blavius. Eric, hailed by society as the time child, cuts a deal with blavius in which he promises to support the aaa's cause and fulfill his " true purpose " in exchange for a safe return to the past. He agreed to this and became the aaa's poster child, unbeknownst of what was to come.
  
  Blavius, with Eric's naive support, began to persecute anyone who didn't support the Allied Atheist Alliance as the true name of the atheists, and by the time Eric turned 11, the AAA occupied the whole of Colorado.
  
  Some time after his twelfth birthday, Eric realised what a mistake he had made. After all this, there was still no talk of going home. He tried to ask the UAA and the UAL for help but they refused as they couldn't work together. Blavius continued his righteous conquest with no opposition, committing atrocities against humankind.
  
  Things began to get worse, and when eric was 14 he was appointed AAA ambassador by Blavius himself. His job was to coerce people into supporting the aaa under pain of death. The human population of colorado began to loathe him.
  
  At the age of 15, Eric was forced to wake up to the fact that he had become the judge, jury and executioner of his own kind, and as a child- the time child- there was nothing he could do about it. This war wasn't over atheism, it had never been about atheism- Blavius hated humans and wanted them all dead. There was no sign of Eric ever being allowed to go home and because of this he resigned himself to living in this dystopia of his own making.
  
  Eric is 18 now, and at long last he's gotten hold of a time machine, but it's far too late to change him. He's completely given up hope and he doesn't think it's realistic for him to ever live in the 21st century again after everything he's done.
  
  In his spare time, he torments his mother by leaving notes to make her believe he's a ghost.