Rose Gypsium

Never did I imagine much of my days would be spent aboard a ship that rides the sky. Fortunately my abominable sea sickness only affects me on the worst storms and then I usually have company in green gills among the crew. I am indentured to Siena now, though I still struggle on different trips to new and curious places to call her anything other than 'Domina'. The brand is concealed on such trips and I go without bands and torc. There are times when my long service at the Tether is but a strange, distorted dream and this is where I have always been. Others, I feel dreadfully uneducated; I have an allowance, though damned if I know what my own gems are worth. Their value was always taken care of for me. I've been taken advantage of a few times and it's too embarrassing to admit aloud. Consequently, instead of any wisdom in my own finances, (I find it much easier to manage anyone's but my own), my return to the isle has been bumpy.

I find familiar faces elevated in status upon my most recent return. I have, at least, afforded myself a small lock box along with parchment, ink and quill, all of which my vast knowledge of hiding places in the Tether afford me security. Writing the day's events has always helped organize my thoughts and I've a weakness for sentimentality ill-afforded by life.

If I ever thought there was a name for happiness, it is throwing knives at a nervous man in a tiny loin cloth while he spins on a wheel. How fortunate for the latest one he is not as well-endowed and I have been practicing at missing more.

The outfits are something else; at least for newcomers my jewels look part of my costume. I do not need to concern myself with anyone getting any funny ideas; not on a closed ship where the next port will take what remains of the offender to justice. (Or so I like to think.)

Life would be perfect, even if my place on the bed-- if I can even call it mine, is disrupted by some newcomer to the Domina's bed. One night stands do not bother me; I'm less likely to irk her if she's had her fun. It is the ones that have become more of a constant that have my tail in a knot. If they intend to stay, that means more interference with my life. I have attempted to assert my control of the situation, but neither are the sort to be easily managed. At any rate, I have found the sun unkind to the top of my head when up on deck and I have been given a hat. I have no idea what others might make of me wearing it, but perhaps it will come in useful one day. I suppose I shouldn't resent the presence of other authorities, having led such a life for so long. But having tasted freedom, even momentarily, and finding stability in one sole dictator in my life, I feel as though there are additional, invisible ropes being lowered around my neck. I am like most felines; I do not like change. I don't much like sharing, either, I will have to learn to acclimate, I suppose. Easier said than done.

Jo, however, is an enigma and a wonderful distraction, though her enjoyment of her choices has me recoiling. Perhaps she does not inspire the same kind of wrath I do. It will bear further scrutiny.

*Written on scraps of parchment and tightly folded, tucked between the mattresses in Siena's suite.*

Despite all trials, I have come to love my work and feel strangely at home. Even if, as of late, half the time I find myself on the floor courtesy of a shared bed and restless feet. I have been kept sufficiently busy that I've managed to avoid getting into trouble for the main part, though a certain Commandant threatens to spoil what free time I can garner. But perhaps I can entrust her with a secret or two? Well, not so much secrets, but mild, personal vices. It is so damnably difficult when I cannot read someone such as her; I begin to get the sense of frustration others have had with me in the past. Of course, on their part, they were looking to correct me, knowing I was going through the motions and meant little of my offered subservience. That she shares a bed with the Domina complicates things to no end; I've little idea what observed infraction might travel to Siena's ear.

Granted, I seem to find myself in a good grace period, now that the Domina has someone to fu-- spend time with. Only Janvier seems to find it in her interest to snap at me or, more humiliating, tell me to 'behave', as if I were some thrall new to the collar!

Elke is proving an entertaining fountain of information, even if there are moments I should like to wrap my fingers around her throat and shake her a little. Just a little. This Sojourn intrigues me; Elke seems protective of her and Janvier displeased with her. I may be able to ignore the Cross smell if I can just rub my own all over it.

But this is another sleepless night and difficult to pen by candlelight, long after others are deep asleep. I must secure another visit with Sugar before the trip and find some decent catnip, though perhaps the infirmary can offer something a little more... legal.

I've so much to do that a dip in the hot springs has me smelling of sulfur but otherwise more relaxed than I have been in a while. Perhaps I can start tomorrow on better footing. Certainly, Lucia and I have agreed that it would grieve Laurent to lose either of us and I feel more secure in such an unusual arrangement.

My world feels like someone has glued the sharp, broken pieces back together. I have come to heal, resting in Laurent's modest estate. There are concerns regarding some kind of war growing across the sea and I do not think I could live through another one. Surely, if the risk is real enough, perhaps I can persuade those close to me to leave until the danger is past. I have found peace in purpose again, direction and structure. I felt like a tiny pebble rolling down a hill with no idea of where I would land; my past in the strict hierarchy and protocols of court, paired with life in the Tether, did not brace me for being my own guide. I have heard Loraen is in a coma, but I cannot bring myself to ask or go to see her. What good could it possibly do? I might as well speak to the air and curse her, for she still haunts my every step.
I have taken on a most unlikely prodigy. If all goes to plan, she will be invaluable to my cause. So much to take in, so much to be grateful for. I feel as though I hold my life perfectly cradled in my palms, precisely where I want it.
Now, to speak to Muunokhoi...

It has been far too long since I wrote last. My world is in turmoil, though most due my own choices. I would not tolerate a lion's rule for any longer. Too many lions! No, I hid away in the walls of the Tether itself, biding my time. Two years of cautious waiting, a hermit surviving on what the depths of the catacombs would provide. I engaged in other matters far less savory to thrive, but that is a matter best left unmentioned. But I have decided and Laurent shall be my Guardian, all in hopes of evading punishment for running away. I had to know which felt more right - freedom or servitude. I have my answer.

It shall be both, all in good time. The establishment will never see what hit it.