Altan

I haven't gotten over it yet, but I'm trying. I assume that's part of the reason everything was done so quietly...I think. I haven't a clue to go on and no direction to even begin looking, but I hope that he is safe and was simply given back to the Tether. That's my assumption, or perhaps my desperate wish.

At first it felt like only a short amount of time had passed, like when you are asleep...but things aren't lining up as such anymore. I now get the distinct impression that a greater stretch of time has come and gone and yet I have no memory of it. One moment we were lying in bed...the next I was awakened by a guard in the Underhall. I have no recollection of how I ended up there or why but I've been forced to resume my duties like normal as if an immeasurable amount of time didn't just...vanish on me. Like my only friend didn't just disappear into thin air. I looked for him, I did, I asked for him, and I got slapped when I pressed for answers. They've taken to...volunteering my assistance in their experiments, or so they like to call them, but really it's just an excuse to do unspeakable things to me behind closed doors. Why have I not broken yet?

Because I want to be strong.

I want to believe I can flee, somehow get away and put as much distance between myself and this...horror as possible. I didn't like my “master” much to begin with but now they've gotten so much worse. They're more violent towards me now, more unstable, they—A good portion of the written word has been repeatedly scribbled out by a thick scraggly band of ink, effectively erasing its existence—I hide the incisions under my clothes. I'm not ever requested for intimate purposes, thank the gods, but if I was I've no doubt in my heart my state would horrify someone. I heal quickly, it's a blessing, but my mental humor is starting to feel a toll.

I'm planning an escape but I don't dare record any details about it. I'd readily take my chances in the wilderness if the alternative was staying here being taken apart piecemeal by this thing.