Shadow in the Hall
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«HENRY TOBIAS WALKER»
mercurial ✖ lovelorn ✖ tangent
GENDER
unsure
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BODY
a little out of shape
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ZODIAC
scorpio
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STATUS
desperate
lived so much life, i think that God's just gonna have to kill me twice.
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"we've gone way too fast for way too long."
Henry is a man tormented by Borderline Personality Disorder. His emotions are wild, his attachments are practically immediate, and he drowns himself on person to person, clinging to them for meaning and self-definition. He is a man also cut down the middle; neither man or woman. Henry is caught between being a human being wanting desperately to be used and be found useful in that regard, and be regarded as an intellectual, creative soul.
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i'm just here for the psych assessment, i'm just here for the fall.
some of his prose
❝The weather could be cold, sweltering, snowing, raining; these arms would still coexist with my own. Smiles turned into the utmost lust; a confining pornography. A simple rub of the leg, an endearing innocent touch became more profound than any kiss shared between pristine lovers. Hearts swelled with the years shared that were seconds. Such a simple thing is a caring attention. Essential to my very existence; ‘a nature noble and incapable of deceit’.
I would have my way with him, fastening him to my bedposts, delighted at the horror in his eyes from tasting vulnerability for the very first time. The quivering of his innocent lips soon to be made weary with true loves first passion. Supple skin exploited to caress mine as I rip into him, a deft hand upon his throat causing the tears to well in his brilliant eyes. The scent of fear in his sweat, and the inevitable and indisputable inclination of arousal give unto me; one part we cannot control, nor hide. A part to love and loathe, bleaching the lines of morality, leaving only this scarring need to feel sensation raw and pure, wash over us. Not a sin, but the act of becoming clean with it. Of it.
All the hours of imagining him whilst pumping myself shamelessly would be satiated by this one moment finally mine when we are alone. All the crowds disperse when one enters the bedroom; no more obstacles, no more enemies, leaving only a prize to be had and devoured at last. Fate sealing with the faint slamming of the door.❞
woke up on the wrong side of reality
❝I get the terrifying feeling that I'm Orlando, or we're the catalyst that will make it come to pass.
That either one of us is whichever lover, but at the end of the day we're Woolf & Sackville-West.
I cannot bear to lose you; your pretty words, the way you get up in the morning and do all that you set your mind to.
—and I cannot bear to lose myself in you. So desperate to claim you as my own when I can't even claim myself.❞
and there's a madness that's just coursing right through me.
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POSITIVE
Hopeless Romantic☸wants all the hugs from behind whilst doing the dishes
Eager to Please☸jump when you say
Booksmart☸reading college texts when in grade 8
Streetsmart☸knows how to deal with the local druggies
Compassionate☸will stretch himself thin to help
Spiritual☸all the incense & candle burning
Devoted & Loyal☸walk all night to get to you
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NEGATIVE
☸Selfishwants all of your time & your energy 24/7
☸Manipulativewill guilt you to make you stay
☸Self-Sabotagingobsessed with you but cheats
☸Silent Treatment Bitchoh, you wanna be nice now?
too late
☸Judgmentalyour clothes are physically repulsive
☸Alcoholicvodka for breakfast, jäger bombs all night
☸Chain Smokerany brand. just gimme the nicotine
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what he is; inside & outHenry is a jack of all trades, drifter on the wind kind of gent. He is a talented musician, painter, and writer. He also has random jobs being a note taker & tutor for disabled students, as well as able-bodied students. It offers good enough money to get by and live relatively comfortably, as simply being a note taker offers $20/h and a tutor pays $35/h even through government assistance programs for students that cannot afford it. Whatever the case, due to the pay rates he gets for work that he says he can do blindfolded, it also offers him a lot of free time. Not only that, but it guarantees him human interaction.
On the side, Henry offers himself up as a medical & scientific guinea pig, as well as sell his plasma, all available thanks to his glamour taking over his true identity. He could even go so far as to offer tutoring in foreign languages, since English is not his native language (though you could never tell, especially now). However, he does not, and rarely indulges in his native Japanese. It has changed much over the years so much so that people who complain about the grammar now, would probably balk at his dialect back in the time that he came to be. Let alone given the fact that names of people could not be mentioned in writing, making any story rather difficult. Though, of course, this is a very welcome change to Henry. Society today is 'trying', as he would put it. Henry's 'real job', or rather stable income employment is being a midnight radio host. His schedule is literally all over the place.
As mentioned above, Henry doesn't really fit into a gender thing, but he does enjoy wearing high heels. The sex appeal is undeniable, and that's what it comes down to, but don't tell anyone. The man is dressed with sharp features and tangible androgyny, which is ultimately a blessing thanks to his personal feelings on it all. For all his modern appearance and thinking though, Henry is a strange beast, for he is a Gaki.
i woke up in my shoes again but somewhere you exist, singing. i only wrote this down to make you press rewind.
Gaki are a 'hunger ghost' from Japanese Folklore. They are spirits that live in constant torment and agony as they are plagued by insatiable hunger but can never get their fill. Sometimes, food bursts into flames whilst they hold it in their hands, or sometimes a Gaki is cursed to only eat bodily refuse. Henry Tobias Walker however, is cursed to constantly crave attention, affection and love. Also feast upon human flesh when he can. His need to possess it, to devour it is innate. He cannot escape it, and therefore explains as to why he can never stay with just one person at a time, as he has constant needs. He will never get his fill and even while you're having sex, he's still hungry. Even if you do fall in love with him, live with him, and promise him your everything, you will never be enough.
Without a 'glamour' or 'shell' to hide his true form, Henry would be an ugly son of a bitch. Nothing about him would be appealing; an emaciated lanky body, with a bloated belly. Long, spider-like fingers (all the better to grasp you tightly with, my Dear) and a physical showing that his condition is gluttony, though his is more of the heart and mind. His eyes vary upon the lighting. Sometimes they appear as hollowed out sockets, a little bloody and stretched at the waterline, or milky orbs that stare right through you making you understand that for all his disgusting need, want and perpetual torture that he's sentient. Completely aware of what he does to you, but cannot afford to care lest he perish.
∙NAME∙
Henry Tobias Walker
∙NICKNAME∙
Cherub
∙AGE∙
27 Too old
∙BIRTHDAY∙
1021年 Jian Era
∙NATIONALITY∙
American
∙ETHNICITY∙
Russian Japanese
∙HOME∙
Drifter
∙JOB∙
Midnight Radio Host, Tutor, Note Taker
Medical & Scientific Guinea Pig
∙SEXUALITY∙
Pansexual
∙ROMANCE∙
Panromantic
∙SPECIES∙
Human Gaki
∙BODY∙
Gaunt
∙HEIGHT∙
189 cm - 6 ft. 2 in.
∙WEIGHT∙
180 lbs - 81.65 kg
∙SKIN∙
Fair
∙EYES∙
Dark Brown
∙HAIR∙
Black
∙SCARS∙
Stretch marks on hips
Track Marks
∙TATTOOS∙
Runes & a Baku
∙SCENT∙
Nag Champa & Vanilla Primetime Cigars
when it comes to relationshipsHenry doesn't have any family. At least, that is what he says. With no familial attachments either, it offers him more freedom to latch onto any passerby, be they friend or able to tolerate him long enough to be called 'lover'. Of course, he is extremely willing to dote on people. Anything that has the potential to feed him is a worthy pursuit, so if someone brushes him off, he has no hard feelings whatsoever. A blessing in disguise really, because if you ghost him, there's no negative feelings or resentment held on his part. In this sense, Henry almost seems as to be all too willing to move on from person to person, which can be a potentially noticeable red flag. However, if you show him a certain amount of loyalty and want, he can come off rather puppy-esque. He's definitely a two-sided coin.
With all this in mind, it's easy to understand that Henry is a bit of a fly-by-night because if you aren't free to give him your attention, he runs off to the next willing person. Whether he's prowling a bar, a night market, a club or at one of these venues and flipping through Tinder & Grindr simultaneously makes little difference. He simply loathes being alone. He'd rather whore himself out than spend a night in bed by his lonesome. He doesn't care where he wakes up, but if you have a nice wallpaper it's a plus.
When it comes to things of a sexual nature and activities in the bedroom, Henry has a propensity for orgasm control or denial, edging, rimming, cunnilingus, frotting, hair pulling, anal sex, oral sex (face fucking or throat fucking too), scratching, licking, kissing, teasing, wax play, ass to mouth, face slapping, fingering, spanking and the implementation of sex toys. All these just listed Henry is fine with both giving, and receiving. If there is a term you do not understand, feel free to hover over the less common terms for a definition to pop-up.
i die every night with you. living for your every move.
In the case that Henry can't have company, or company that he deems satisfactory, he will fill the void as best as he can through reading, writing, playing instruments, painting (properly or using his body depending upon his level of hunger at that time), doing drugs, binge drinking and chain smoking. On the odd occasion he goes for runs through the city so that he gains some interaction, either by people looking at him, or having to say "excuse me" to those he has to share the sidewalk with. Either way, attention is attention, even if its scraping the bottom of the barrel. This, of course, also makes the majority of people believe that Henry is narcissistic, but he is not.
In fact, his mental state is rather dismal. He wants to be your animal to lead on a leash, and to be used either as a object for your amusement, or sexual gratification. It is not strictly a sexual thing, it is merely that he needs attention in order to survive. His need is so great that he is in a constant state of agony, desperate to dull it even a little bit, which is why his heart appears tenuously fickle. You may have the most fulfilling relationship with Henry, but if you aren't there, he may stray. It's not a matter of love, however. He will continue to love you and need you, and would work phenomenally with an understanding partner in a open relationship. Just keep in mind that if you are a mere mortal that Henry will probably come to desire you so badly he will try to eat you, literally. A physically stronger partner would be best.
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LIKES
Insomnia, Cigarettes, Vanilla Flavoured anything, Stringed Instruments, Sexual Body Worship, Alcohol (any), Drugs, Anything that gives an Adrenaline Rush or High, Human Flesh, Masturbation w/ Others Online or In Person, Spicy Foods & Flowers
DISLIKES
Metallic Sounds, Cigars, Coffee with no Cream or Sugar, Primadonna Girls, Desperate Twinks, Scotch Brites (don't ask), Christmas Music, Prisms
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his vermilion❝I met her again. I was a baby suckling the meat of her shapely fatty thighs wrapped in Beetlejuice delight. She played piano with my nerves, as the choir of angels raped her throat and strung the devil’s lies with wax, and ejaculations. I was hers, and I made it known. I was debauchery’s annoyance, and free will’s consequence. She was my sanity for the few hours of my life that it devoured, telling me to drown less, and strangle her so we could meld into Libra. Wiggling through the bed frames staring into the sun that was like a catamite spreading his ass wide, expecting pain, but never quite enough as there will be.
I stole arms, and she curled fingers; freezing popsicles. I was neglectful and joining the transexual parade. She was my mental mind fuck sitting still grinning like that fucking cat, and teased with antibacterial words denying my cream-filled gifts, but I remember the action of her swallowing. I follow the rapist’s calling, and the hanging-noose need for more, and she was diva-manicured, rhinestone stilettos drawn by William Blake, upon my poor cyst infested Fuseli sheets.
She’s not the cloth from which my wife is made, she is the cut-above anticipation for my Last Supper. I’m blitzed, and she is my night. ❞
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Eye Candy
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