Zorion

Today was one of the oddest I've had in awhile.

That's not fair, let's try again.

This has been one of the oddest weeks I've had in awhile.

And it all falls back to how people perceive matter. Literal, but also as it applies to select individuals, too.
I should find that woman again. I don't think I'll be fully free of it until I do. To what end? I've no idea. I feel drawn to that spectacular brand of tomfoolery.

Nari bugged me about it all day today. He wants to know, to understand me better. He can't. Not as he is. None of them can. They try to fit a .50mm bullet into a hand pistol, and then scratch their heads when nothing happens.
I suppose it wasn't really odd after all.

Perplexing, rather.

Ironic.

...........................

................... They claim me mental, yet all they set out to accomplish is the classical definition of insanity.

I think that's what bothers me about this. I don't feel like I accomplished anything.


I just feel lonely.

Nevermind, I have plenty to write about.

The heist went off without a hitch. Leorela took me for a bravado-infused minion, and I imagine her pride'll be smarting for awhile yet. I'd be happy, but it's never fully satisfying watching know-it-alls get harshly corrected. It's bound to happen, that I am the instrument of this rude awakening is...

Empty, hollow, routine. Boring.

Maybe I'd derive greater reward from duping the likes of Yarrow and his affiliates if they made it a worthwhile endeavor.
Such as it is, I just find myself increasingly more frustrated.

Mayhaps it stems from Inari. I didn't know what to expect with him, but all men carry their burdens on the inside. Finding the right tool, be it blunt or edged, is simply a matter of trial and error. I suppose I was hoping he'd prove difficult to finagle, what with that accursed mask of his making reading even his baseline thoughts a murky myre of uncertainty.

Spoiler warning, it was like convincing a newborn puppy your pinkie is in fact a teat.

He was practically begging to tell me his deepest darkest secrets. I'm sure he has more, but I can't be bothered to muster the energy to pry right now. How do people survive like that, gushing at the merest trickle of sentiment? It boggles my mind.
How can he trust me, not knowing a thing? What drives people to seek out these connections, with no prior knowledge or awareness of impending doom?

He wouldn't be in this mess if he could just let go. Saccharine, is the word that comes to mind. Unsurprisingly, Yarrow has something that Inari wants. What will he do to obtain it, what grievances and burdens will he shoulder to achieve this innate need for kinship, family?? He's someone stuck in the past, and that history will be his noose. If I can pull his strings like a marionette with my eyes closed, what will Yarrow seek to gain from his obeisance....

and how will this come back to Emmery. It will, I know it will.

Guess I have questions to ask afterall.

I can't remember when Bacci handed me this thing. Said it was a less formal method of getting my thoughts out --not that I even care to-- than, say. Blowing up Yarrow's newest god awful sculpture with thermite and canola oil.

Maybe he's onto something.

A lot's been happening since we moved into this new quadrant of the states. Ventures into hell, mostly, with this latest outing taking me far out into bumbass nowhere.
Inari's asleep, I surrounded him with a bunch of stuff in this guest room we were given. Foxes like nests, I'm pretty sure. If he doesn't, I'm sure he'll tell me soon as he wakens.

He also told me he was going to die sometime in the near future.

And that it'll probably be my fault.

Not in that exact wording, but it would explain why he was nervous about bringing it to my attention. Weirdo. How can someone want to be your friend out of the blue, then exhibit fear about how you impact their life? I don't understand. I should be the one nervous, not him. He isn't to blame for my mistakes. Mistakes I haven't even made yet, but might? How does that even work.

I probably won't get any sleep tonight. Leorela is hiding something and I know it has to do with that lyre. If Yarrow wants it, I want to deprive him of it. I'm not sure how yet, but.

I've been making his life miserable for years. This shouldn't be too hard.