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Na Haru

Information

  		•  ➣LOOKS▪ Haru stands at around 5'4", but weighs less than a person his size should. His hair is a long bob, dyed a medium shade of blue, and he doesn't care to cover his natural eye color with vibrant and fun contacts. On his face, aside for the occasional smearing of eyeliner or subtle eyeshadow, Haru wears thick-lensed glasses at any given moment. Haru adores dressing up and tends not to follow societal gender norms if feeling particularly safe or confident that day. At work, he tends to dress his flashiest, usually clothes he'd made himself throughout all those years of cosplay design. He will wear anything from tees and jeans to jeggings to androgynous skirts - there's little he wouldn't wear. If it looks good and he feels safe, he'll wear it. ➣MENTAL▪ Haru is a mess. He's a bundle of anxiety and self-loathing wrapped in a shell he isn't sure belongs to him. Gender is a thing he feels confused about on the daily and finds serenity in cosplay, which became a safe outlet to explore gender expression without uncomfortable looks or confrontation. Even still, his identity is something he doesn't understand much of, just as he doesn't understand the trans experience. He'll respond to any pronoun, finding no dysphoria in any, but defaults to those he grew up with. His anxiety manifests itself nearly constantly, and is prone to self-harm and suicidal ideation during serious bouts of depression. It's been years since he's physically self-harmed, but will refuse himself things he enjoys as a form of self-punishment.

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    		➣LIKES▪ Cosplay is a favorite of his. Designing clothes others may wear or that may be an interesting take on a well-known character brings him immense joy and satisfaction. Aside from that, more mundane pleasures include swimming, party games, being around friends, working and feeling useful, and observing animals. Zoos and aquariums are ideal places for him to spend some time, but if given the opportunity, he would love to go diving. He adores sweet treats and savory snacks, and though he's not much of a gamer, he has some fun playing some games. He is fond of making other people happy however he can, and sometimes enjoys baking for people he cares about as a treat. He's not a chef or baker by any means, so they typically don't look fantastic, but hey - A for effort? ➣DISLIKES▪ Aggression is at the top of his list. Having to watch his parents fight throughout his childhood lead him to feeling anxious during bouts of confrontation, whether it's toward him or someone else, and he tends to shut down and regress a bit when there's too much aggression. Sometimes he dislikes his body. He is a little too small for his liking, and comments tend to make him hyper-aware of it. Even if he's not the shortest among his friend group, he feels a little smaller than them anyway. He tries to focus on the positive when it's brought up in a pleasant light, so he latches onto the fact it's a 'good thing' for the person who commented, but the moment it's an insult it becomes crushing. Haru also dislikes the way his heart works, at the moment. He has too many feelings and finds it difficult to organize them.

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    		➣POSITIVE▪ Kindhearted to a fault, Haru will be the first one to throw his life away if it means benefiting another. He believes in second (and third and fiftieth) chances, and is eager to see the good in anyone and everyone. He's generous now that he can afford to be, and passionate where it matters. Although fairly low-key, moments of excitement are pure and unadulterated, and he tends to get carried away in bliss, and wishes to share that delight with others as much as he can. Haru is understanding, perhaps to a fault, and eager to listen and help however well he can. He's no therapist, but he doesn't mind lending an ear or shoulder if someone needs it. ➣NEGATIVE▪ Haru is emotionally fragile and fiercely skittish. He has a lot of insecurities that he's trying to work through, and though he manages it in a healthy manner on average, sometimes it seeps through the cracks and his coping mechanisms for it are unhealthy. He loves too much and tends to idolize those he's around, for better or worse. His need to impress people can make him a little bit of a pushover, and he usually doesn't realize it. When he hurts, he is devastated, and it's easy for him to lapse into severe depressive episodes. He is private about those, afraid of judgment and so he keeps his struggles to himself. At times, he falls back onto alcohol as a crutch to get him through tough situations.