Okheanna

All I saw was that knife and Kareen's (Ca-ree-n) face. How I ended up in the kitchen and back in the torture chamber of The Order, I don't know. My first thought was they must have found me, and now I'm going to be punished. This time, they wouldn't flay me to just punish me... but to kill me.

I'm going to die, with dignity and strength.

So I stood, just as they taught me to, to endure it. It was only then I heard his voice. That wasn't Kareen's voice. It was Dante's voice, gently coaxing me back to reality.

I'm so embarrassed. This has never happened before, but then again... I haven't seen a flaying knife outside of The Order, so how am I to know? If I see one again, will I lock up and freeze, again? I can't... It cannot happen.

And now... Dominus is so angry, he told me to get dressed for travel and put on armor. It's a strange feel, armor... I never wore it as an assassin, not this kind anyway. It's heavy and bulky. The chest plate reminds me of the one my brother used to wear. I guess I'll get to finally learn why. The master never summoned me tonight, so I suspect we'll leave out come morning...

I never thought I'd be going back, not like this. I'm still a slave and I'm going back to fight for my life, not because I want to, but because Dominus does.

Dominus does.

It is a new journal, pristine parchment, neatly cut and hugged by dark tanned hide, with a deer coat exterior. It is bound by a single, long royal blue ribbon and the pages, perfectly threaded neatly within.

After my time at the Tether, I expected every master to be the same. Sure I am used, but at the same time, I use him. He is not the same.

Dante.

It started out like any thing else, some sort of torture. His weapon of choice was a magicked stimulation cock cage. Days of this, of unending pleasure with no release, I have never endured such. Instincts took over and even in the throes of pleasure, negotiations and promises were made to each other.

It is how I established the return of my kitsune ball, regained some freedoms, and became a caretake of an eldritch library. Dante even imbued my earrings, given to me by my mother, so that I can hear. What a gift... to be able to hear and have something so precious returned. I know everyday is a trial. I have to get him to trust me, so I can get out of here.

And if the library trying to consume me and Chamomile wasn't enough of a reason to want freedom, to leave here as soon as possible, I don't know what would be. I had nothing to protect myself, just my instincts. And even if I had my magic at the time, my weapons, I'm not sure I would have been able to make it out on my own. The ropes had been cut after shelves somehow were knocked over. Something got loose in the library, I'm not sure what. It had tentacles and it pulled Cham and I into it's realm. Where it pulled her, I did not ask, but it brought me into an icy hell. One I surely wouldn't have survived were it not for Dante. I'm not sure anyone realized how close to death I danced, but, I'm glad I did not die.

Chamomile, sweet thing she is, was battered and broken. She has since recovered, all aches are soothed, and weaknesses remedied, it seems. I'm glad to have a friend in her, thats what she wants from me... to be a friend... I don't think I have ever actually had one of those. Glad to have her survived such a horrific event, she was undeserving of such trauma that I can only imagine she had endured.

And Dante, well he didn't come out unscathed either, or so I heard. I vaguely remember falling from his arms while he commenced into combat to protect both Cham and myself. How he found us? How he fought off that creature, I will never know, but he came for us, fought for us, risked his life for us. I have watched many a slaver simply roll the dice and let fate have its way with their property. Injury. Death. Torture. Loss of limbs. Traumatized. I played the game and I came out on top this time.

I know it isn't the same for every thrall that roams this manor. I was stuck in that dungeon once, and I still haven't seen the face again of the one I had shared a cell with. I wonder if he is okay... or if I will see him soon.

Today though I am clothed respectfully, well fed, learning infernal with Chamomile. I have my weapons back; I have recovered all of my abilities, and as insane as it is... I kinda like this spooky ass library. I must be insane to like something there, to have these mild feelings of content. I hate this and yet I feel like adventure is just around the corner, which excites me.

If I leave, I'll just have to deal with a different problem, but if I stay, I have to submit, sort of. So which is the greater evil? I want my freedom. I want the promises to be over with, unbound by duty and contract. But if I were free, I have to deal with the Order attempting to kill me, and I cannot take them all on my own. I will surely die. So this is, oddly, a temporary state of sanctuary until I can resolve that particular hinderance, or accept my fate.

Serve or die?

Submit or hide?

None of this suits me. They are all terrible choices. I want to live and fight, wander and thrive, grow and learn, love and be accepted.

Accepted. It's so weird to be accepted here of all places for what I am, and even more so, encouraged to be exactly who and what I am, as if it isn't a flaw. Encouraged to grow and enhance my skills other's deem unfavorable.

House Inferno, how fitting that I have found myself serving a hellhound's house in Hell.