Yokan

Connection

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• Friends

  	Fae'iqa (played by Jynx)
  Fae'iqa is a woman Yokan's always been a bit unsure about, but despite that he cares for her happiness and well being.

  	Chaffen (played by Trishields)
  Yokan's former Master. Knives is a man he respected and was incredibly loyal to beyond reason. His recent disappearance left a bitter taste in Yokan's mouth however, feeling he abandoned those he supposedly called 'family' selfishly.

  	Sumu (played anonymously)
  A sweet, energetic female Yokan has grown quite fond of. He feels less alone when around a fellow scalie.

  	Beorne (played anonymously)
  Brother-in-arms. Yokan and Beorne met during the siege and have been friends ever since despite the obvious statuses that separate them.

  Family

  	VoidSwimmer (played by Diamond_Outsider)
  The first male Yokan could consider as close as family from the island. He is as loyal to the hydra as the hydra is to himself. This man is trusted implicitly as one would a brother.

  	Ssussun (played by Whiffle)
  Yokan's beloved bondmate. Love, Honesty, and Trust, his hide is carved with these words that permanently mark just how important the drow is to him. In public one would think them friends, but behind closed doors...

  Acquaintances

  	Sabaoth (played anonymously)
  Yokan isn't so sure about this fellow. A wyrmme and former subordinate in the Drakorian forces that attacked, the crocodile tends to either treat him with disdain or ignores him completely. But... having won one of his medals and a plushie version of him he sleeps with during the Anniversary event, perhaps the crocodile might warm up someday?

  	Levinth (played anonymously)
  A Handler Yokan greatly respects for both his kindness as well as his fairness and slight sense of humor. Had Yokan not been purchased, he had intended to seek Levinth out as a potential owner or at the very least trainer for the harem.

  	Campy (played anonymously)
  They fought against each other in the arena, though Yokan quickly learned there is a reason the dalmatian is a fighter to be concerned about.

  	Asena Kaya (played by Akkadian)
  Yokan truly enjoys Asena's company and feels he could be able to learn a lot from her about his own magic. Already she has shown him a great deal and he learned High Drakorian from her.

  	Yoska (played anonymously)
  Being watched.

  	Snorri (played anonymously)
  Fellow participator in the Man Hunt for Nilanth. He has not spoken to her directly, but considers her a sister-in-arms.

  	Zyanya (played anonymously)
  A fellow slave when Yokan was of House Markevich. She was incredibly kind.

  	Har (played by Taigas)
  Yokan briefly met this fellow, who had helped to save his now brother Void from a tree-related sticky situation.

  	Kaizen (played by Trishields)
  A kindred spirit in that he is a reptilian as well as a fellow bird-pranker.

  	Erimear (played by Catie)
  The Entertainer is without a doubt one of the staff whom Yokan enjoys being around. She is a pleasant and mostly calm presence and always treats slaves with a kindness he has come to not expect from most free persons. He enjoys learning from her.

  	Iara (played anonymously)
  An interesting woman who rented Yokan and taught him some more of how to treat people now that he is a slave. He enjoys conversation with her and is open to hearing her opinion and being in her company.

  	Canta (played anonymously)
  A beautiful woman. She's given praise where Yokan doesn't believe it is due, but her head pets are greatly appreciated rewards and her personality one the house slave knows he could get along well with.

  	Acaeus Vertis (played by Michonne)
  Dear Acaeus. Yokan met him when he first came to the island and has always found him a pleasant and quite passionate fellow. They've come in contact again, and the crocodile is pleased to see the human free.

  	Sura (played anonymously)
  A fellow house slave. She seems very nice (if perhaps a bit... ditzy?) but nonetheless one of Yokan's favorite 'coworkers'.

  	Vaelin (played anonymously)
  A peacock woman Yokan met once who liked his craft. She seemed pleasant and quite beautiful.

  	Drach (played by Isnelx)
  An intimidating and strict renter who admires politeness and obedience. Yokan was on his best behavior with her and was handsomely rewarded for it.

  	Melynne (played anonymously)
  First fellow slave Yokan ever tried to talk to. He failed miserably, but he is steadfast in trying to learn better pronunciation in order to communicate with the smiling blind woman.

  	Vera Silverwind (played by NecraMancie)
  A kitterwing recently captured by the Tether staff. Yokan has sworn to protect her, and she likely does not know how far he will go to keep that promise. Perhaps it is because of her childlike innocence that the crocodilian feels the need to protect her. It could also be because he sees her recapture as far more unfair than most.

  	Stanislaus (played anonymously)
  The crocodile has a slight inkling that Stanislaus' intentions with him are... not exactly pure and is not quite sure how to feel about such a thing. He is cautiously friendly with him, howeve

  	Karkadann (played anonymously)
  A warrior who fought with Yokan on the day of the first battle of the Drakorian siege. He was quite vicious and Yokan had to help him to the infirmary after his collapse.

  	Fjolfr (played anonymously)
  Fellow participator in the Man Hunt for Nilanth.

  	Necessary Evil (played by Hachi)
  I boiled his face, he stabbed my shoulder. But we are both on the same side and I am hoping to make amends for my actions.

  	Kunyo (played by Kun)
  A feral creature Void is friends with.

  	Flowahr (played by Amity)
  Unsettling little brute with absolutely no concept of personal space. She makes Yokan incredibly uneasy.

  	Tae (played by Whiffle)
  Yokan barely understands this kimono-toting creature, but he seems nice.

  	Nadira Ruya (played anonymously)
  Nadira: The unicorn healed Yokan once. She's proven herself to be gentle, kind, and humble... traits he appreciates greatly and those he actually doesn't see often in unicorns who seem to think very highly of themselves.

  	Cusith (played by GreenCinders)
  A kind Gladiator that allowed Yokan to start running in the mornings in preparation for the arena. He likes the old green male.

  	Cestella (played by FatCatSupreme)
  Madame Cestella. She knows French and that intrigues Yokan as all foreign languages do. She also seems like a pleasant woman to be around.

  	Karn (played by Karn)
  Yokan learned to waltz (badly) with this man. He seems nice, and gave Yokan a very warm vest for cold days.

  	Eisenhauer (played anonymously)
  A decent fellow. The rhino is friendly and obedient with a wild side Yokan can definitely appreciate. He's keeping an eye on him.

  	Caliena (played anonymously)
  A former slave of House Markevich. Yokan misses her frankness and attitude.

  	An'Nyese (played anonymously)
  She stabbed Yokan in the back. Literally.

  	Gadadhara (played by Dothraki)
  The elephant believes in honor in the arena. There is no such thing.

  	Nero A Draconis (played by benzy)
  Master's brother. Yokan imagines they are brothers like he and Voidswimmer are brothers, and so far Nero simply makes Yokan nervous with him being as yet unable to predict his moods.

  	Xtious (played by Xtious)
  A fellow slave whose company Yokan enjoys. He is blunt and bold in personality and a very stubborn fighter, all things that make the shaman adore his company.

  	Satine (played by FatCatSupreme)
  A lovely creature. The cat is beautiful, elegant with abilities so very similar to Yokan's that he finds he could relate to her a great deal. But she is a slave and therefore distance must be kept.

  	Kasathria (played by Kasathria)

  	Johari (played anonymously)
  Pretty little (figuratively) slave that looks to be on the fast track to harem and beyond. She's sweet and eager to serve, both qualities Yokan is happy to encourage.

  	Muunokhoi (played anonymously)
  Master Renouf. Yokan has known Muunokhoi for quite a while, having truly met him during the Drakorian Invasion. He trusts and looks up to the one armed man.
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• • Lengthy rambles November 27th 1415

    I have greatly withheld myself from writing in this journal since so much has happened and there is so little I felt about it that seemed concise and organized in a way that could be written on paper. Some things I won't even begin to attempt while others I will. It all began with family. From the beginning he used the term frivolously which made me as uncomfortable as if I was living in a hut poorly constructed of sticks that could so easily be ripped down by any amount of force. Yes I was his servant and loyal to that end but I never felt as though being deemed family or considering Knives and Fae'iqa as anything but Master and Mistress was... right.
    
    In my culture... there is the family you are born with and then there are those you choose. Ekha, Aiwynn, Shea, Voidswimmer. The huts we've built are ones that will forever stand the test of time, carefully constructed of stone, lumber, and clay rather than mere sticks. Faith, trust, honesty, and loyalty are only a few of the qualities I would attribute to these relationships whose marks upon my hide are now the only to remain. I allowed everything to be removed but them, but those I call family and the marks meant for them will never leave my heart as long as I have breath in my body. It seemed premature and a lie to even remotely consider Knives and Fae'iqa as family. They had done nothing to earn that place in my heart and nor I in their's. Family doesn't punish for mistakes nor reward for good deeds as one shouldn't have to be rewarded for doing a kindness for someone they love except by their happiness.
    
    Despite the lack of those feelings I falsely echoed the sentiment in hopes that perhaps from sticks a more solid hut could form... and to a certain extent it did. I was given trust and returned it by admitting my grief over a dead lover and had my sincere feelings summarily dismissed as if they were nothing. My own reaction to such a wounding was uncalled for certainly and I was punished for it, but I didn't allow it to discourage me from keeping an open mind to the possibility. When adversity came to the House I shared in it, stood at the sides of my Owners and loyally helped them defend their home and it was through that I felt a bond and connection begin to form. But our hut foundation was still only made of mere sticks and could easily collapse still despite the walls being shored up by clay.
    
    Finally, through such adversity together we won and I shared in the glee they felt when it was over and done with while 'family' felt less foreign on my tongue in referral to them. Some of those sticks had been replaced
    by solid lumber and a good hut was beginning to form when a letter was left for the House to read that sent all that work to ruin. He left in the name of protecting his home and his family by seeking out the enemy alone, but in truth I believe Knives didn't realize how deep a wound he cut in doing so. Family fight together, and die together. Noble as his decision was, in truth a decision I myself might have made not long ago, it was one made without even a chance to protest. I admit.... I took my leave into the woods outside what I had begun to consider home and I screamed in anger and frustration. How pathetic it feels to not be considered strong enough to fight at his side, not to even be given the choice to live or die for whomever I please and for whatever reason. How insulting it is that he didn't have faith in any of us to be willing to fight for him because that is what true family does.
    
    He left me in the care of his brother Nero but still I felt abandoned, betrayed, and unappreciated due to that letter and his actions. Perhaps it is not my right as property to experience such feelings but have them I did nonetheless. Needless to say I was sold back to the Golden Tether.
    
    Shockingly, no sooner had I returned to the harem pens I had earned a place in during my period of Ownership than I was given a position of which I am incredibly proud and honored by: House Slave. It seems the establishment approves of my behavior and sought to reward me with such a title to which I feel quite privileged to have. It certainly is by no means easy work, but one thing I can say for it is that it is a busy
    life and for that I greatly enjoy it except that it leaves me little time to enjoy my most beloved Nau'k. How he tries to understand the reasons behind the things I do and the way I feel about such actions and yet he struggles with them terribly. The guilt of causing such turmoil weighs heavily upon me, but in its own way that too is part of the trial I have set for myself to test my resolve. One day I will be unburdened by my trial, and he will see what I go through now is a necessity of facilitating a freedom that goes beyond that of the flesh. This is something I must do, and in the meantime I am exactly where I wish to be even if I do wish I could spend more time with him.
    
    To that end, however, I am not limited in working on other projects except by single factor hindering me. Rutting season. It seems my body doesn't know it isn't the right season for it and there is absolutely no possible chance of breeding with another Au'lessi and yet still the effect is the same. There are times when meditation does nothing at all, my vivid imagination running absolutely wild with every female I look upon which is clearly ridiculous given my particular position and the fact there are a scant few females even if they were Au'lessi that would be suitable breeding stock. I find my aggression levels come in waves though surely my mental training gives me a great deal of aid in minimizing said waves to mere ripples beyond what any normal Au'lessi male of my age would be experiencing. I hope I can manage my urges through the season, and pray next year it will diminish given the lack of those compatible with my own species.
    
    Despite this setback, I have endeavored to push onward with the plans I have begun. I seek to de-attune from the element I have lived with for so long. Water has been my ever-present companion since I was but a child, but recent events have lead me to believe the hindrance with my abilities has been not only a mental block but a physical one as well. You see, I was born attuned to fire, not water, and was forced to become attuned to water by the previous shaman U'hess. I believe in making such done unwillingly, not only did I lose any semblance of my true original personality which was obliterated by the teachings of the water shaman, but I believe it also did not... take fully. There is still some small part of my body attuned to fire and it is due to this my connection to water has been so weak. Yet.... there is a decision before I can begin the long and painful process of unnattunement: do I wish to return to water at all? Fire was after all my original calling... and perhaps if I was better able to develop a control of the element itself I would lose my phobia of it in the process. Perhaps I have missed my true calling.
    
    I began to surmise I had during my return to my homeland with Voidswimmer when I touched one of his mates and completely by accident could somehow feel the minute little flickering pulses of life growing within her belly. Certainly, water shamans can to a certain extent tell if a pregnant female is due to have a shaman, we can detect the faint elemental energies that come from other shamans... but this was... different. I could almost see the little life within, hear its heart beating as if it were right next to my ear and feel the wiggling little struggles of thought trying to develop. While I retain no memories from a fire shaman, I delved deep into the recesses of the most ancient lives residing in my head to find reference of some sort of empathic touch. Sure enough, it seems some of the greater fire shamans in our history were rumored to be capable of performing great feats of what was thought to be impossible: healing. Perhaps it is because I was so sick for so long that I am more sensitive and perhaps even inclined to this sort of fire shaman-based ability, one which can see the health and wellfare of other's with a single touch. But could I truly be capable of such? There is only one way to find out.
    
    In truth I could wait, re-attune to water and find another time perhaps when I am unburdened to test my calling of the other elements, but I can't help but desire to discover everything about this phenomenon and on the way perhaps discover some small fragments of who I used to be in the process. Either way, I must wait until I can get a better control over my rutting instincts and hormones before anything of that matter can be addressed. I will work hard until then of course. I suppose that is it for now. Fair well.

  • Loss and Punishment August 5th 1415

    Your Ghost

    
    
    I am hurting physically and mentally and it is no one's fault but my own on both accounts. I'm not sure how long it lasted as my mental grasp on time is off, but it felt like forever. Either way my throat burns and I would never wish to experience that again nor ever experiencing what gagging feels like. That was the first time I had and it is unpleasant.
    
    Master is right, she is was a distraction and though I am hurt that he could not sympathize with the loss, what I said about him losing Mistress was entirely uncalled for and... not me. I can only recall one time in which I have lashed out to deliberately upset someone back like that, to make them feel the emotion I was feeling, and it was under quite similar circumstances that I was not in my right mind at the time. That is the danger of emotion, but I should have tried harder to hold it at bay. Perhaps I didn't want to. I've felt the deep satisfaction of saying something cutting and seeing the reaction light up brilliantly on someone's face before. It is the same feeling I get when I fight in the arena and I feel the effect of impact under the weight of my tail or flesh and bone splintering beneath the snap of my teeth as the little subtleties of noise start soft and then crescendo. Thinking about it makes me salivate slightly. This instance was not the same, and the effect of letting my emotions take control of my words far less unpleasant. I must get myself under control so it doesn't happen again.
    
    All the same I will miss her. It wasn't just because she was my love. She was my friend... my second in my whole life. She helped start my training to become the slave I am today, informed me on Others and their culture far more than anyone else, and even got me interested in learning to read and write. During the siege my collar was removed so that I could give aid to the rebellion. I could have walked away, leapt into the water and be done with Guilderiem entirely and I was tempted to the first time I dove into the ocean once again. No one would have found me and though the thought of swimming into open waters where from any direction danger can come is unsettling, with my Connection unhindered I could have made it back to my homeland. Had I only felt the desire to remain because of my sense of honor that I had sacrificed my life for my people and enslavement was the result of that sacrifice, I likely would have left. I didn't because I had another desire, stronger than honor and that was to remain by her side. It is hard to simply let go of something that has had so profound an effect on your life.
    
    I never would have met my brother had I left. I never would have traveled with him to save and relocate my people and been able to return to Guilderiem to accept my enslavement with a less burdened heart. Even becoming owned by Master wouldn't have occurred, for all the trials, failures, and successes that have come with it. I have lost a link in a chain of events that inevitably lead me to this moment, writing in this journal. It hurts, but like any wound it will heal and scar over with time while I will make sure the memories will remain beyond my own life. This is how I honor her death.
    
    [Tucked in between this page of the journal and the one before is a small scrap of a note of a different handwriting than Yokan's - 'Let the fire die. -G'.]

  • Humans and Enemies July 30th 1415

    Being human is absolutely an uncomfortable experience with a few interesting benefits that makes me understand Others just a bit better. The amount of bodily sensitive they experience on a day to day basis is astounding. My body feels texture to a shocking degree from the slight lines in my hands to the how the leather moves and clings to my legs. It is no wonder they are such indulgent creatures rife with a desire to touch and feel and desperate for any way to improve or change and test out those sensations by way of drugs and alcohol. I have found myself absorbed in the experience of feeling soft, hard, coarse, cold and find it oddly pleasing to run my fingers over the bars of cages and papered walls. They are, however... clumsy and dull. My hearing is terrible comparatively as well as my sense of smell but my eyes during the day and in light are so much sharper as my normal eyes are at night. It makes me realized just how poor my daysight is to see just how vivid colors in the light can be. Despite the increase in bodily sensation... I miss my scales and my tail more and the respite of the Den was a welcome one. Feeling is not a worthy sacrifice for balance or my mental health.
    
    My Blessing has been effected as well, for no matter how long I attempt to meditate I can't seem to get the same desired results each time. Sometimes it works well and others... I feel as if someone is always standing beside me with a torch lit to keep my emotions just barely under control. Perhaps this will help me in my endeavors to find a proper balance in my emotions, but thus far it has been more of an annoyance. I am fortunate, however I do not have some of the effects I've seen on others. My brother, for example.... is perpetually drunk come to discover. While I enjoyed my time with him as I always do... he is not as pleasant a person to keep company with drunk. However, his rental of me was appreciated and despite his state I enjoyed my time lounging with him and speaking on recent events. I also encountered Master Levinth in the hot springs where I've been spending most of my time since becoming human to help soothe my many wounds received from stumbling around. He was polite and good conversation as usual, but I didn't offer my services to him as he is not allowed to rent me any longer as per Master's orders.
    
    There was, however... an incident today while I awaited a renter to take interest in me in the pens. This female of a species I am unable to identify was present as I spoke with a newcomer slave to the island. Initially she seemed haunted by what I am guessing was some form of water torture, but she eventually snapped out of it and joined the conversation. I was shocked to find out she had been a slave for five years and cursed in my native language on accident... but then something strange happened. She noticed the curse as if she recognized my language and clicked as Au'lessi do to one another to project their feelings.It is such a familiar sound to me that I inherently replied with what clicks I could make (which are limited. Humans can only reproduce the mid-toned ones used by the base of the tongue). To my astonishment, she recognized that as well and I began to suspect she knew my language. There are very few who do that I know of - other Au'lessi, some of the wyrmmes we encountered in my homeland, my brother, a few people from the settlement of Lawton and I taught some to several slaves during my first months here. Despite the mention of five years a slave, I wondered if somehow this woman was one of my missing people sold off into slavery, those who were too wild for the wyrmmes to safely keep and breed. I surmised perhaps the faeries had merely changed her and she didn't wish to reveal her species by saying she was new. After all, I look human.
    
    I questioned her if she was indeed Au'lessi, again in my native language and she went into a panic, replying that she was not and acting like she was terrified of me which is when I began to suspect perhaps she was not an ally but an enemy. When I asked her how she came to know of my language, whether she was friend or foe, she outed herself and laid claim to having participated in the atrocities against my people with that Drakorian wyrmme coolness I have come to despise. All I could do was have a guard allow me to leave the cage because I became enraged by her words to the point that if I had remained.... I likely would have lost the struggle not to kill her and rip out her throat even with how blunt my teeth are.
    
    My thoughts are dark, and despite my best efforts to distract myself with training and practicing running I find myself drawn to mapping out the halls of the Tether in my head, looking for those dark corners and thinking on the guard patrols to find someplace I could act on my hatred without consequence. I know I should cease, I know I need to because the risk is high and if I were caught it would look bad on Master, but every time I close my eyes I find another place I could end her. Please let this migration end before my emotions consume me.

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