the basement
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i want to believe
"Am- am I the only person who notices how batshit insane this city is? Like, seriously, I spend my whole life looking for- for bigfoot, or aliens, or whatever, and- and then I move here and suddenly I can't take two steps without some freaky-ass paranormal shit jumping out and trying to kill me. A werewolf knocked me off my goddamn bike the other day. I'm not sure if living here's a dream or a nightmare."
Floyd Guggenheim is an unfortunate-looking person with an unfortunate-sounding name, and he has an unfortunate personality to match. He's an awkward, buck-toothed bundle of scrawny limbs and anxieties, full of deep passions, loud opinions, and very little ability to express any of these things gracefully. He feels every emotion so strongly it hurts, whether he's caught in the throes of a panic attack or riding high on the exhilaration of another mystery solved. Floyd doesn't have interests, he has obsessions - and the most powerful of those obsessions is his lifelong fascination for conspiracy theories, cryptozoology, and the paranormal.
- Floyd "Paranoid Floyd" Bartholomew Guggenheim. 20 years, 5'7, 120 lbs. Smells like Old Spice and the menthol body powder he uses to try to keep himself from sweating so goddamn much.
- Wears baggy jeans, baggy nerd t-shirts, a Ravenclaw ring, and red hoodies. Lots of red hoodies.
- Voice ref. Voice is thin, reedy, and abrasive. He has a slight lisp that becomes more pronounced when he's THAYING THOMETHING EMPHATICALLY. He, he also has a bit of a stutter and- and- and often repeats words, especially when he's excited or scared.
- Floyd is physically fragile and not terribly strong, but he's managed to survive several supernatural encounters through a combination of sheer luck and crazy preparedness. He carries around a small arsenal of supernatural self-defense gear with him wherever he goes, courtesy of Dallas. Any supernatural creatures with sensitivities to salt, silver, etc. will likely find his mere presence somewhat off-putting. All of his hoodies have hidden pockets sewn into them to accommodate all of his supplies. They don't call him Paranoid Floyd for nothing.Floyd's inventory:
(2) Ziploc baggies, one full of salt, the other full of sage. Both have properties of purifying and warding against evil. Can be used like pocket sand.
(1) Small silver bottle of holy water. See above.
(2) Small knives, one silver, one iron, both w/ sheath. For werewolves, vampires, fae, and anything else with metal sensitivity. These are a last resort: if Floyd gets close enough to a monster to actually use them, he's in very deep shit.
(1) Syringe of dead man's blood. Said to be effective against vampires and demons. Last resort, same as the knives.
(1) Vial of fae blood. Powerful spell reagent. Very appealing to bloodsuckers. Potential bargaining chip.
(1) Magically enhanced taser. Powerful enough to put a hurt on supernaturally resilient creatures. Received from Floyd's mother. Floyd is unaware of its special properties.
(1) Can of ordinary pepper spray. Hey, it couldn't hurt, right?
(1) Mini first aid kit. Contains disinfectant, a small roll of gauze, medical grade sutures and thread, and a couple of Scooby Doo bandaids because why the hell not.
(5) Enchanted origami animals. Blood-activated. Transform into illusory animal guardians when activated. Fragile but distracting. Provided by Ox.
(1) Scooby Dan. He's not the bravest or the smartest, but he has Floyd's back.
In addition, most of Floyd's clothing has patches of very fine silver wire sewn into the seams, courtesy of Ms. Guggenheim. Floyd is unaware of these modifications.
"So uh, this one time, when me and Amy were kids? We kept hearing weird noises in the woods, and, you know, of course I thought it was Bigfoot, so we, uh, tried to set up a trap for him. Well, we called it a trap, it was- it was pretty much just a box of chicken nuggets sitting under a laundry basket propped up with a stick. But, uh, yeah, turned out it was just a bear. Anyway, that was the first and last time Mom took us camping."
- Lives in his boyfriend's apartment. Has a secondary base of operations in his mom's basement.
- Is currently in the middle of his post high school slump. His mom wants him to get a job and start saving for college. He wants to become a paranormal investigator and travel the country.
- Has his driver's license, but usually bikes or walks everywhere because he can't afford a car and is embarrassed to borrow his mom's minivan. Floyd is now the proud owner of his very own Mini Mystery Machine, courtesy of Ox.
- Has a figurine collection that mostly consists of classic cyptids and his favorite alien designs from pop culture. They're COLLECTIBLE ART, NOT TOYS, MOM. Also has a bone collection, as well as a bunch of vintage 'space babe' posters on his wall.
- Likes sci-fi/fantasy, old horror movies, documentaries, and those weird history channel shows about bigfoot and UFOs. Also, gaming. Mains a resto druid on WoW.
- Has a blog. It's full of ironic shitposting, paranormal nerdery, regular nerdery, and sketchbook doodles.
- When he's not at work or fucking around on the interwebs, he spends a lot of his spare time wandering around, getting into mischief and trying to uncover the secrets of the universe.
Floyd's tunes.
X Files Theme in Major Key /doo doo doo doo doo/
Sound of Change - Dirty Heads /you've been chasing your monsters/
Be Calm - Fun /as i walk through the streets of my new city/
Ghost - Mystery Skulls /the world might do me in, it's alright cause i'm with friends/
Gravity Falls Theme - Lizz Cover /a place so full of mystery - is just a puzzle to be solved/
It's Terror Time Again - Scooby Doo /and you just might die of fright/
Season of the Witch - Donovan /and he's strange, so strange/
No Rain - Blind Melon /you don't like my point of view, you think i'm insane/
Believer - American Authors /i'm a little bit sheltered, i'm a little bit scared, i'm a little bit nervous, i'm going nowhere/
Floyd's gender and sexuality shit.
Floyd is bi leaning towards gay. He is super picky about women and much less so about men. Often just refers to himself as gay for simplicity's sake. Has polyamorous inclinations. Secretly wants to have a dozen boyfriends and girlfriends and sleep in a pile of his favorite people like a dragon guarding its hoard.
Floyd is also FTM trans. He went on HRT in his early teens, so he didn't very far into the wrong puberty before T came along to fix the problem. He has no desire to undergo any kind of surgery.
Floyd keeps his trans status private because it's nobody's fucking business, but it's not a source of angst for him. He doesn't really think about it that much. His mom is supportive. He is a man in mind, appearance, and smell, and there is no way for your character to know he is trans unless they see him naked or shove their nose into his crotch.
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the nerd files
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