Speede

I've reconsidered the marriages, to marry off Coronet would cost 307 ducats, that's a little bit TOO much money for some prestige! For you Speede as a heir, it is 408 ducats. I just CAN'T AFFORD to buy you buggers wives, for fuck sakes! Who the hell would demand that much money from their daughter... Greedy bastards. On other hand, try to find another solution. For Coronet I'm already considering his kinswoman, it might work but I despise inbreeding inbred puppies further! You want to keep it in the family? No!

Hi, I am writing this as I haven't had time to acknowledge your presence in a while, you gone in the hiding and all the matters of political and war piling on my shoulders has left me weak and stressed. I am getting old! I tried to seek for eternal life, but that shaman bitch who I hired was a scam. All they managed to do was fail and this irritates me beyond measure! Well while her head is enjoying the view of the ocean on the city gates, I've come to a conclusion that both you and Coronet are important to me (Figuritively and literally) so I've sent you a gift! This half a coinpurse will be able to give you something to do, besides it will also increase your opinion of me a little bit. Same with Coronet. I heard that Tether offers grand special prostitutes, whores slaves to fool around with, do buy some for our grand house if possible. Where ever Konopacki goes Most Serene Republic of Pomerania will go too and its flag will proudly wave over every port available!

On other news, since your shark lady is gone, I heard you are open for business. In this Letter you'll find names and traits of some potential brides that will be available for you and Coronet to choose from. If you don't, well there'll be severe consequences for the two of you.

Now for things to come and go, I hear that the badger has turned in more profit than the fox has. While these are miniscule at best when it comes to coin, these things are to be pride and example of our House in Tether. I've authorized your request at opening a brewery though I hope that this investment turns profit, if it doesn't the badger will get a swift spanking from our handlers!

Upon my visit to the Pomerania after duties for the emperor were still inconclusive, I've come to find that my land is good and grain plentiful, so upon this celebration I've envisioned a gift! Yes the sheep was beautiful addition, which reminds me it is still unclear why she is not in my pot, well whatever. Ah yes the gift. It was found from the England once our fleet managed to ransack couple of cities until ultimately driven away by the crusaders. It is fresh and quite healthy and I hope, no, I will order one of you to take her as a concubine and this is final. Decision, if neither of you comply with this order, I will cut the family dues. Ahaha have fun without money there! I heard everything costs! I put a little gift wrapper in the mix so you know it is for the two of you, choose wisely which of you gets the honour, trust me she is equally beautiful. All you need to do is put a bread in her oven if you know what I mean, sure it'll come out like, well I won't know but make sure it is pretty. Dievas help us from your annoyance. Also, for grievances, our beloved cunt daughter, Sperm Bank of Poland has slept away, the court physician describes that it is because of depression. Me and Skirmantas laughed at the Polish king and made fun of him for hours. I mean his tiny wiener was not satisfactory for our beloved Sperm Bank! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Either way I heard that Annafurl konopacki is there with you, I've got no clue why a bitch from Orsha is there but after reading her ledger I realized that her beloved was cut down in battle. Poor sod, don't let her drink herself to an early grave, she's a girl so she's a useless courtier for us. She's not bad looking. Anyway, Speede, I've got another tradepost for you to manage. The details are in another letter, your eyes only, rest of it goes for anyone. Now on other news, Crusade is going terribly wrong, all mercenary armies are obliterated and emperor is furious, but alas, it continues. Try not to die and whoever decided it was a funny idea to show me a picture of a snoutless creature with lips the size of mount everest can very well stop sending these messages! Dievas sake!

I hope you've gotten the gift I sent you? I chose it myself! It was delicious looking, it was either the pot or gift to you, I couldn't control myself when I purchased her. I do enjoy muttonchops but she was too cute for the pot, hell she was too adoreable at that. I however deemed that I was too old for her, Dievas has a cruel humour and had I touched her my wife would've turned me into a rug, ME the PRINCE-MAYOR! Christian hell has no fury like woman scorned. Either way I sent her to you, do as you please with her, if you so choose you can fall for her beauty and make babies. I can already imagine them, I sketched a picture for you but I spilled wine on it and it was ruined. Today your brother refused another marriage proposal and the woman I offered him disappeared mysteriously, very intriguing. My bastard son, you are yet to convince a child same as both of your brothers, I could've offered the lamb to Prusas but Prusas outright threatned to make mutton out of her, so rude.

War is going well, Coronet estimates that it is over by Yule. Also make fucking babies for perkunas sakes, fuck the lamb, I don't care!

The Rzeczpospolita is at a state of war. A crusade was declared on us by the dwindling religion made out of fools! Hah! As of now all shippings will cease their transportation till the seas have been reclaimed. They raised quite a fleet I heard... Understand that this means that bad things will happen to shipments and you will not recieve any ounches of family dues. The good Emperor had ordered our house to take up arms and reclaim the seas back to our control. A worthy task indeed, your brother has taken up arms and is leading a combined mercenary army along with the Chosen of Perkunas holy order. He will do well in the field of battle, I know it. It is unfortunate that Pomerania had to go to war at this current state. This however is old news as it reaches you.

The latest news is that the western army we had, failed at their task. Curses! The emperor's soldiers along with Puola failed to hold back the swarms of Crusaders, the teutonic holy order and others crushed our forces in a major battle and we are thrown back...for now. However, our fleets managed to seize an opportunity and our fleet crashed with their expedition fleet. After a week worth of back and forth clashes between our ships, the enemy fleet was thrown in disarray and they fled leaving many sunk and most badly damaged. A glorious victory for us in the seas.

The shipping will resume once all fleets have been dealt with. For now you should focus on acquiring yourself a wife and siring children, at the very least make some bastard boys damnit. It is not difficult, penis goes into vagina and baby rolls out, the basics. I've elected to choose a wife for you but you stubbornly refuse in every letter. You are driving me insane my bastard boy! I legitimized you after all, show SOME gratitude that you can carry the house name. Your plans to send shipping to this island of yours is appealing if the pay is what you said it was and the products returned were fairly decent. However the island is riddled with piracy and I will not take kindly to hear about these pirates.

If anything, assemble a mercenary army at that island, I trust you can do such a thing? If no, hire someone who can and pay for it! Make the signatures and I'll pay their salaries but make sure they are worthwhile in the process.