Want to friend Lotos? You need to log in or join our community, first! It's fast, free and easy.

Want to tell the world what you love about Lotos? You need to log in or join our community, first! It's fast, free and easy.

Lotos

l a t h e

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________
- Welcome to your life December 18th 2016, 11:00 am
  
  I'm not just branded with the cross, I'm branded with the acceptance of what I've done. I know what you're thinking... Why all the regret, why all the self-aggression if I'm so accepting of my actions? I accept what was done with my body... I'm not happy about it. I want to move on. I want to believe no demon ever existed. My life was stolen from me and now I have a chance to reclaim it. I've been sowing the seeds of renewal. I would leave. I'd run, on foot, miles and miles away from here. I stay out of love and gratitude. These two things I've only ever known from one person. They are reciprocated, for the first time. I know that everything I think and feel is real now. I am myself. I'm... Undivided.
  
  My name is Lotos. That's my only name.
  
  I'm going to speak to my betrothed about taking a break. After what we've both been through, I think we could use one. In which case, during that time, I'm going to look for my father. Or, the man who should've been my father. I'll follow up on his location, sift through some old contacts and find out if he's even still alive. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I just... I want to know what he was thinking. I want to know what happened at the moment of my birth. I'd like, more than anything I think, to know why he cost both my mother and I our lives. Did he, does he, hate me? Us?
  
  I wonder what he'd think of Leviticus. I'm going to be married, I want to make sure of it. I want to enjoy this life. Now that I have the opportunity. I'd like to have a family. Even if that means finding the one that abandoned me, before I even had a chance to hurt them. I've heard that everyone deserves a second chance. Not from anyone I know, mind you. I've been thinking about it, though. Lately... I've been thinking about it a lot.
  
  I've been smoking again, recently. More often than I used to, but... I wouldn't say I'm addicted. I hope not. I suppose it's going to affect me now. Drinking, too. I can't do with worrying about all that shit... I don't need the concerns or commiserations of others. I avoid people-- whenever and wherever. I watch my back. My appearance has suffered in way of clothing, because most of my clothes are too fitted to accommodate my injuries. I've been wearing clothes taken from my lover's victims. Anything loose or soft or black, so that the dirt from the garden won't show too much. What am I? A broken, ragged man. An antisocial hippie.
  
  And you know what else? I've an appetite now. I'm starving. I've been impulsively eating anything and everything... Leftovers, paper, roadkill, plants-- even dirt. I can't help myself. It's kind of hilarious, and I'm worried Levi is going to catch me gnawing on the upholstery... Fortunately, the sleeve of my leather jacket withstands the wrath of my hungry maw. I was never a baby, not really. Perhaps a part of me is making up for that lost time.
  
  No house is a home. The only home I know is my garden in the middle of the house, beneath the open sky where the tops of the trees wave at me, waving over the manor roof. They're almost beckoning me, inviting me into the forest. My other home, where my heart and soul lies, is with Leviticus. I whistle or hum when I'm gardening, or put on a record. I hope it brings him comfort... Knowing where I am. Knowing I'm okay.
  
  Well, I am okay. It would be ungrateful and bitter of me to say that I wasn't. I've got one new eye to see the world with. I can love with all of me, and I don't have to hide anymore. At least, I don't want to. I don't feel like I deserve forgiveness or compassion. Leviticus and I have been through this before... I know, as far as he's concerned, it's okay. I don't need either of those things to live. To survive, perhaps. Right now, though (as far as survival is concerned), I just need some Goddamn food...
« Older posts

Connections

Friends

	Kray (played anonymously)
I can trust him. I think. He was my patient... Before. He's not all he appears to be himself, I think he understands what I'm going through. He introduced me to his children. They have to suffer through their father's nightmares as much as he does. It's strange... His description of his beloved sounds... Familiar? He won't set foot in my garden, either. Won't set foot near the forest...

Enemies

	Vekkel (played anonymously)
How do you hide from someone with eyes like Vekkel's? An old 'business partner' told me he was still following me... Lurking in the vast countryside away from the city. Biding his time, I'd imagine. I don't know whether to be afraid of him. I plan to stay out of trouble, but I'm sure he'll find some reason to come after me... No matter what I do.

- ~~Levi~~ (played anonymously) || December 18 2016, 6:06pm
  "
  
  Now.. don't be upset but I got you a little something.. An early wedding present..
  
  ...to keep you company during the day when I can't be with you..
  "
  Reply
  You need to log in or join our community to leave a comment here.

An alien planet seen from space, a red sun rising over it. Text reads: Auruta 90DX, a sci-fi world setting created by the community of the RPR

Remove this ad

Lotos

l a t h e

Welcome to your life December 18th 2016, 11:00 am

Connections

Friends

Enemies