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Confusion | Anxiety | Addiction |
I woke up in a way that pretty much representative of my life on the whole; submerged in death, my body held down by the weight of items owned by the man whom I loved more than I ever loved myself. It's funny, I surged to the surface and gasped for air even though I'd been pinned beneath that blood tinged water for at least a few days. I thought the worst part was that he'd packed up his entire existence and stole off into the night just to get away from me, but then I realized that he'd cursed me with an eternity of knowing that I've been abandoned...Again.
It was luck and irony that had me stumbling into the exact neighborhood that Hank had moved into, considering that Iseul moved me to an entirely different state for what was likely my own protection. Isn't that a sick joke? I refused to feed for a good long while, steadfast in my desire not to cave and fall into the necessary habits of what it means to be what he made me. But then one night, I was out on the fire escape smoking, a pointless habit now I'll admit but comforting just the same. A homeless man was rummaging through a dumpster and cut himself on a shard of glass from a forty ounce bottle someone had tossed carelessly into the filthy receptacle. I might have been able to steel myself...If he hadn't foolishly stumbled down the alley in search of some misguided form of refuge. The scent...The hunger. |