Cal Broadwing

I've been content on the island for quite some time, expressing myself through the things I create.

But that changed yesterday.

For months, I have experienced a similar dream every so often. A female, exotic and looking like the heavens resided in her pelt, would appear and talk with me, laugh with me, play with me. I'd wake feeling a little odd, a little weak, but otherwise none the worse.

But she has been arriving in my dreams more frequently. And they've changed from being playful and sweet to... amorous. She kissed me in my dream 2 months ago and when I woke, I swear I could smell her perfume.

Then I saw her. I had been having a nightmare, and when I woke up, she was there in my room, physically. She said her name is Hopper. She told me she feeds off of emotions, and that she enters the dreams of others to do so. She never feeds frequently in case she hurts someone. At first she was merely feeding on me but, I think she is beyond that now. The next night, she visited me again, but for the first time, she was still there in the morning. She has been visiting me frequently now. Sometime we talk, sometimes we just lay together, sometimes she is still there when I wake. She is fascinated by the stars, she reads prodigiously, I should be drained of my emotions, dead even, but the opposite is true. My emotions are stronger than they have been in years.

And damn it all, I'm in love. I haven't told her. I'm a fool, but this doesn't feel like the others. I'll always hold a special place in my heart for my first love, but Hopper is... something more.

Each time we talk I feel closer to her. Last night I wasn't even asleep when she came. She looked so nervous.
She told me she still feeds on others, but they aren't like what we have. And.. I believe her.
Hopper and I made love. It was her first time.

There's... a chance she could be pregnant. I do not know how her people reproduce, but I do know that males of my species can inseminate any female. I need to talk to her about this soon.

It has been a long time since I last bothered with an entry.

Corine left. Like the others, she was here one day and the following she could not be found. We'd started to make a home, but she never returned to it. I've been alone most of my life, but only really felt it when someone I loved was gone. So I left.

That was years ago.

Since then, I'd had only one lover, which we both knew was only a fling. I've experienced first love, a one-night stand, and even a serious love. And heartache. If this is all love has to offer, I am better off without it.

I have taken up smithing as well as glassblowing. It is easy for me to manipulate the materials that others need crude tools for. I need no forge or glory hole. I do not need an assistant.

I don't know why I haven't left yet. I know I could return to the realm of the stars and reside with them. They would rarely take notice of me, but at least I would be accepted and understood. But the same thing that brought me here, that feeling of something I must accomplish or someone I must find, keeps me from leaving. My job here is not over, and I will not leave until I figure out what it is and complete it.

I've not been able to make anything in the last week. I keep thinking of Corine. That smile, the way she was so concerned about me, the way she wanted to continue to help even though she'd already done so much.

To be honest, I did not think I would see her again. She has helped me, and I have helped her. The spirits should have been sending her to someone else who needed her help more than I did. But I have been hoping I'd run into her again.

Last night I had gone into the jungle. It was foolish, without my wings. Oh yes, the fairies stole my wings again. It seems to be a running joke with them. I was prepared this time for it, though. Three years in a row and you learn to be ready. I just hope they don't change their ways next year. I had gone into the jungle looking for a material, something I've found around the old ruins buried out there. It is blue, and I've done some research and found it is called "cobalt" and can be used to make "smalt" or "cobalt glass." But I was not being very successful.

Corine showed up! She said that the spirits had driven her to find me again, and I was elated. We tried to figure why they called her to me again, but she was eager to tell me that she'd been practicing her swimming and wanted to play more games with me. I figured that since she's been deprived of fun as a child, games I've seen children play would be fitting, so we played hide and seek.
I did not know the extent of her magic. I believe she has some sort of control over plants. The ones where she'd been hiding were quite a bit larger than I remembered them being.
But I did find her. And as she ran to touch the base... I am afraid I was too caught up in the chase and stumbled, probably because I have not had to run without my wings before. I fell into her... in a rather compromising position.

We shared ourselves with each other last night and... it was incredible. But what's more incredible is that the marking on my chest... Setareh's star... it vanished. I will never forget her - she was my mate and true love - but she no longer has a hold of my heart. There is now a dragon in the shape of half a heart on Corine's chest, and the star on mine has taken on the form of the other half. I am left with so many questions... is she part celestial? Regardless, though I do not know what the future will hold for us... she has made me hope and put my heart on the line again. I... hope that whatever the future holds, we'll be able to discover it together.

Since Setareh has passed, I have been focusing mostly on my work, and on improving my knowledge of this world. I'm afraid some words still evade me, but I am working on it. A friend of mine is making sure that none of the words here are too flawed.

Many months ago, I met and courted a female dragon, white in color and caring in demeanor, but she, too, has been stolen from this world. I am finding death is not something I wish to see, and yet it seems unavoidable. Are the beings of this world destined to die so frequently, so young? Are they all so fragile?

I shut myself off from the world after that. I've begun to expand my work. Glassblowing is a fun diversion, and there is much for me to learn still, but I have found that with much effort and work, I can imitate the forces this planet has harnessed and create gemstones. Granted, they are not very good, and I still do not know what materials make the best gemstones, but I will continue seeking this.

A week ago I realized was the anniversary of the last time I'd seen Setareh. I had surprised her by changing my form to a ram, but the fairy migration came and stole away my wings, and without them I was unable to return to the heavens and gather enough energy to change back. I still bleet from time to time. I've noticed that her star had faded, and so, in an effort to remember her, I began making her form in glass. However, I was approached by a young woman named Corine. She is part dragon herself, I believe, but not fully. Corine was very prim and proper, and everything around her, even the fairies, grew calm. She said the spirits had drawn her to me, that it was her destiny, her job, to follow the spirits and find problems that needed to be solved. I was the first she'd been drawn to. As I was telling her about Setareh, I lost my concentration on the figure I had been making and it exploded - something that may happen when the glass cools too fast. It hurt her hand, but she was so much more concerned with me. It was touching, though I could see that it might just be he strong work ethic.

It seems her work ethic is too strong. She remains an enigma of sorts. Corine has never had fun! I taught her to play tic-tac-toe and... well, she is smart. She defeated me on the first game. But the smile he gave me... I'd only seen one other of its kind, and seeing a smile like that again made me feel... just, feel. Then I taught her how to swim, and she graced me with another of those smiles. I suspect that the spirits may have brought her to me to help bring me out of this funk, but that perhaps I am supposed to help her as well. Time will tell.

I fear the worst.

When Setareh and I mated, two shooting stars appeared on my chest, dancing together. And I've searched for her since she vanished. But... tonight I discovered that one of the stars had broken and was fading.
In truth, it was just confirmation of what I already knew to be true. Setareh is gone. My search for her has ended this night.

So much time has passed since my beloved vanished. I left and returned to the heavens, seeing if I could find her there, but, alas, I have not.

It breaks my heart. I feel that someday she will return, but my mind tells me otherwise. So, although she shall always remain in my heart, it may be time to move on and seek more in this land.

I have begun writing in a journal to chronicle what has happened to me thus far.

Several months ago I came to this strange new realm in search of others. Not others like me, just... others. I have been alone in the heavens for far too long, and now that mother is dying, she has sent me off to make my own way, to see what there is to see.

I promised I would return from time to time to see her.

I landed in an island chain I later learned was called the Guildereim. One is inhabited with many others, beings of all sorts. Some there are "slaves," and some are "masters." The slaves are coerced to obey their masters. It seems to be the way of the world, and many of the slaves seem to enjoy this, but not all. I saw one poor creature taken against his will and the sight was... jarring.

I decided that I was not a slave. So I must be a master. It is not hard for me to come up with money here. It seems the inhabitants here are more than willing to trade me for a few heated rocks. If I make the rocks look pretty and shiny enough, they seem very willing to offer me coins in exchange, though it still confuses me to this day. One rock in exchange for another, and that rock in exchange for things I want. I will probably never fully understand.

The first slave I rented... things did not go well. She was wild and nervous, she fought me, so I let her go. The second slave... it was similar. She wanted to mate, but I... did not know how. She grew angry and I let her go.

It wasn't until a few weeks later that I found how to mate. Shea was the first. We met in the jungle as I was star-gazing in a clearing.

But things did not really begin until I met Setareh. She was a slave in the pen, just one among others, discussing being used as a model for a line of clothing. I found that she makes clothing herself. She, like me, was from the heavens, made of starstuff, and it captured my attention. I rented her to get to know her more, as well as to see if she could make me some new clothes.
The next day I rented her again... She played me music and showed me her magic.
And again... a massage this time.
I found I was only renting her, and I was her only renter. I do not know if others would have rented her if I was not there, but I am glad that she and I have had such time together.

At first she was nervous, and she had her heart set on someone, a man who she had once known. But by the time the fairies came, she had not mentioned the other in weeks. I believe by that time we only had eyes for each other.

The fairies came in the annual migration at an inopportune time. I had returned to mother not long before and gathered enough strength from her to affect a single change in my form. It was a gift to her; as she is a ewe, I became a ram. It was quite a unique experience. But before I could return home to change back... the fairies came and I woke up without wings.
I was stuck as a ram! For a month I barely ventured out of my room. I was ashamed. My wings are my pride. Without them I felt... exposed, insignificant.
But I was not the only one affected. Setareh had been turned into something else as well, I believe a canine of sorts, much taller and more full-figured. But she didn't care that I had lost my wings, so the two of us spent our days together.
A few weeks ago, my wings returned and Setareh was a ewe again, but the fairies had affected some changes. She retained a fuller figure than before, and since I was stuck for so long as a ram, I've taken on a few of their characteristics. Comet, as I have come to call her, seems to like it.

I purchased her. I used the money I have been able to gain to purchase several gifts for her. The first is a heart-shaped locket, which has my name on the back and acts as a collar. The second is a set of pan pipes I put some of my magic into. She should be able to control visions using it. The third is a chastity belt with two keys: one for me, one for her. This way, if she should decide that someone else is deserving of mating with her, she can remove the belt herself, but it will protect her from over-zealous males. I hope, however, that she only removes it for me.

Two days ago, I confessed that I love her. I was told long ago that it is wrong for a master to love his slave, and a slave is not allowed to have love at all, so we are keeping our love a secret for now. I do not know if I will be able to keep this up, however. She is too precious to me.
Yesterday we decided that we wanted to be each other's mates. I have never felt such joy, and I did not know it was possible to care for another like this. We have started returning to the Atrium, and I hope to have her put on a performance or two, perhaps return to modeling. I will do what I can to make sure she succeeds in her hopes, even if that means giving her her freedom. She has not expressed such a desire yet. Perhaps that this world does not allow for such things, that she must be a slave. But if so, I am glad she is my slave, and that I am her master... but more glad that she is my lover and mate and I, hers.