Gladius

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  I've been called many things in my life, dwarf, hero, thief, kind, cruel. But my name is Gladius, but, that wasn't always my name. I used to be called John. Only by my father of course. But sadly, he is gone[/i]I’ve been called many things; Dwarf, hero, thief, kind, cruel... 
  But people usually call me Gladius… At least that’s the name I have gone with. You can call me whatever you want, I don’t really care.
  But there was one time I was only called John.
  When I was a child I always travelled with my father. He was interested in discovering unique creatures out there in the world. It could be rare creatures, strong animals, or even things with weird mutations. He believed everything could be tamed—he always tried to get them on his side no matter what. It was tough and frustrating, but he did it with a passion. Something that I have come to respect now.
  He was the only one who called me John. Something I don't like being called now...
  
  
  Because of his passion for finding these creatures, we always travelled. We rarely stayed in one place, and I never questioned why. It was a good life. Going from place to place, finding new things around every corner.
  Hunting, taming, and discovering things every single day.
  A bit dangerous for a child but he was a very cautious man and he never put me in any real danger. I'm not sure why he was so protective... maybe because I am his only child... or could it have been something in his past? I never really found a reason to ask him.
  
  
  One sunny day after he went on his usual scouting missions to see if it was safe, and before letting me go further, he told me something rather curious.
  He described to me the most beautiful creature he has ever seen, A massive lizard with wings… But it wasn’t a wyvern. Unlike the wyvern this one had four limbs carrying its body, with huge wings starting from its shoulders. In the sunlight the wings seemed to have glowed as if it was made from fire itself. Following its muscular neck to its head he was met with fierce ivory eyes. He never got a good look with the sun shining on him, but he told me to stay by as he found out what it was.
  “I’ll be back for you” He told me and I honestly saw a little truth in his eyes... but there was a burning sensation in my stomach, something didn't feel right. But instead of spouting reasons for him not to go, I smiled and let him walk away.
  
  
  For days I stayed right where he left me. My body went cold just thinking about what could have happened to him, but I never gave up hope. For every day that passed a thousand scenarios were painted in my mind. I kept telling myself everything was fine, but I lost the breath in my chest every time I thought about it. But through all the fear and doubt, through all the chemicals bouncing inside my brain, I decided to assume the worst and go there myself.
  I needed to continue, at least I had to try... for him. I decided to not waste away without him here.
  
  
  But as I got to the place he described I saw nothing. Literally nothing. No sign of battle... Like he and it never existed.
  I will never forget the thoughts that went through my brain as I stood there in the open.
  Dad... If only I told you to stay. Don't wander away... come back.
  
  
  It's been several years now.
  Like my father, I have my mind set on finding the greatest creatures out there, but also to figure out what happened to him. I doubt that he was killed by a mere Wyvern... It must have been something else.
  I decided to take a boat to a place where I could start over.
  
  
  But before that… I did something terrible
  
  
  
  (A ripped piece of paper)
  
  I need to confess something
  But I have to warn you… you will probably let me go as all my secrets start to show.
  There are always things that we’ve done that we don’t want to share. But what I’ve done has left me broken in two.
  
  
  After my father vanished I wasn’t sure what to do. I was chasing a ghost. I needed something to fill that empty space. I had a light, and my was mind clear… But somewhere along the road it became too dark to shine.
  I left everything behind, and not only did I leave everyone I once knew, but I left myself.
  There was a reason why he didn’t want me to go to a lot of the cities.
  I travelled with no purpose, no meaning. I went from city to city sleeping in the safest places I could find. But there was one city I decided to stay in for a longer period of time.
  The streets reeked of alcohol and there was a sweet metallic pungency in the air. I saw people fighting, people stealing from each other, and murder—death. I wasn’t sure where I was but it sure wasn’t something for someone as young as I was.
  After seeing all the things my father protected me from, I lost the innocence I once had. The purest soul stained by sin. I was stuck in my own personal hell. I watched as my view of the world crumbled. I know now that I had it all back then. But something like that never lasts. I was a boy who never had faith, never had love, or a home. Barriers were put around me to keep me from the real world, I was living in a fairytale. Don’t get me wrong, it was great. But I realise now that I never lived a day in that life. I was young… maybe I wasn’t ready to face it all alone.
  And as the days went on I started doing what I saw on these streets… at first it was just stealing to get food, but it got to slaughtering local animals because I got angry. Instead of this nice kid I once was, I started to develop a very careless and insensitive nature.
  Stealing became a part of my daily routine. It wasn’t all I could do to survive, but it was easier than hunting. At that time I needed something.
  This went on for weeks, before one thing changed.
  
  
  As usual I stepped out of the abandoned warehouse, and onto the streets. I made my way to the market district, stepping over the passed out people lying on the sidewalk. I had gotten used to the smell of booze at this point… but there was a sweet smell lingering in the air—the smell of freshly baked cupcakes. And to my surprise cupcakes were lying beside a drunk man, so it didn’t really have anything to do with the story… But something felt different.
  As I made it to the market I proceeded to sneak around the stalls. I stole a piece from every stall I could, and I could do so without people noticing me—most of the time— but I could feel that I was being followed. It wasn’t your usual paranoia, I could feel a cold gaze.
  
  
  As I was making my way back to my safe place I got stopped by a voice. I was to startled to focus on the voice properly, but it sounded young.
  “You’re not very good at this are you?”
  I wasn’t sure what to do—or rather, what could I do? I was fairly short and there was no way I could outrun most people here. So I turned around.
  I turned around to face piercing blue eyes, these eyes belonged to a young girl. She looked to be around my age.
  I was frozen, not only was it the only interaction I have had in a long time… but those eyes. No matter how much I try to focus, I can only remember those eyes.
  “Even though that warehouse doesn’t get used much, you probably shouldn’t sleep there. Some fishy things go down there—Anyway follow me” She said as she started to walk around the corner.
  I couldn’t move for a few seconds, I wasn’t sure whether I should go or not. But as she vanished around the corner my legs started to move on their own.
  I found myself walking right behind her, I wanted to say something… I couldn’t. This wouldn’t usually have affected me this bad, something about this situation crippled me. But I wasn’t scared, it was something else.
  It was the look in her eyes.
  
  
  She took me to a place of the city that I have never been in, everything looked abandoned. We entered one specific building.
  To my surprise the inside was lit up by candles, and it looked somewhat homey.
  “Welcome to my home! You and I seem to have a few things in common so you’ll be the first addition to my little gang!” She said with a smile.
  And since then she became my partner in crime. Life was cold but not alone now. As the weeks went on I found my courage to speak, I found out her name was Lucy, and we got more people to join our “gang.”
  Time went by fast, and as we got older we started to become more than just friends… and I started to do worse and worse things to impress her and everyone else.
  Instead of stealing from stalls, we started stealing from people. Breaking into houses and taking what we could. By doing this rival gangs started to notice us. There was some tension, but it never got to anything bad.
  I started to become the leader of the group. It almost happened naturally, and no one really asked questions.
  Our gang became like a big family. I protected everyone I could, and Lucy always took care of us when we were hurt. Not sure how she did it, but she could take care of almost any wound.
  And as days become months, we suddenly had a child in our hands. Our very own daughter, Mia.
  Life wasn’t to bad.
  
  
  As a year passed the tension between the gangs became stronger. There was conflict on the streets. People got hurt.
  I couldn’t really escape it. But I tried my best to forget about the trouble.
  
  
  There was always some commotion outside the house. Mostly between the younger members. But today the commotion was caused by a rival gang. I could see several of our members shouting to some other gang members. I thought I might aswell go out there to see what was going on.
  I looked down at Mia who was in my arms and smiled. I walked over to her cradle and put her down in it.
  As I started to walk towards the door I saw a young man outside the window. Before I could act the window shattered and a metal cylinder came flying through. As soon as it hit the floor green gas started to fill the room. I tried to cover my mouth but I fell to my knees in a matter of seconds. I tried my hardest to move, but to no avail.   
  I woke up on the floor. The door had been kicked in but not much had changed. It almost looked like they ran off as quick as they came in.
  I crawled over to Mia’s cradle and tried to stand up. I could see that her blanket had been moved. Like it had been moved and dropped almost instantly. My vision was blurry and my head was spinning, and I tried to focus. My vision came back to me quickly as I realised how pale she was.
  “Mia…?” I said as I took her tiny hands in mine. A sharp pain ripped through my chest when I felt how cold her hands were.
  “No no… Don’t do this to me” I begged as I fell to my knees once again. I felt as powerless as when the gas entered the room. I couldn’t move—all I could do was cry and scream.
  
  
  I found myself standing outside of the rival gangs base, tears rolling down my face. I don’t remember how I got here but I knew exactly who did it. The thought of knowing who it was threw me into a rage.
  I kicked down their door. I was met with several unsuspecting members of the gang, they did not seem prepared at all. I thrusted my blade into the first guy, then the second, third… fifth… I must have killed around ten of them.
  I stood outside a locked door with blood soaked clothes. As I kicked the door down I saw him, the young man who destroyed my life. He was begging and screaming just like I did.
  “Why didn’t you pick me?! What did we do to make you take her from our lives? I’m worthless…” I screamed at the man as I grabbed him. The only noise coming from him was him choking on his own blood… maybe I shouldn’t have stabbed him straight through the neck before asking the questions.
  I ripped the knife out of his throat and crouched down, putting the cold metal to my wrist. I was willing to die. The emptiness was still there. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it…
  “She was mine! Mine! Why did she die, when I’m the one deserving it?!” I screamed as I punched the floor.
  I put my head against the floor. The sound of the young man drowning echoed through the room.
  “What the hell am I supposed to tell Lucy when she tells me that she miss her?” I said to myself.
  
  
  That was the first time I died.
  The hardest part of my life was telling Lucy what happened and what I did.
  
  
  I usually talked to Lucy about everything, but now there was a wall between us. The conversations were one-sided and she never told me anything like she used to. I didn’t think of it much at the time. I had her in my grip but she started to slip.
  She took the situation in a very different way, a lot better than me.
  
  
  I became way more careless, and I broke into houses almost wanting to get caught so I could sink my blade into the person who found me. I did it out of pure anger, the feelings from that day never vanished. I ruined a lot of families with that blade.
  I even got a tattoo on my arm for every kill— a skull with fangs, for every kill a vertebra was added. It was almost like I was proud of it, but I know I wasn’t. I was taking it out on innocent people.
  I was to confident... ignorance is bliss.
  I started to ignore what the gang did. I let them do whatever.
  As this started happening no one in the group talked to me as much. Even though a lot of them had done almost the same things. They even started to recruit new kids... by taking them from their parents. They wanted to take over the city, and I guess kids like that make good criminals. As they started doing this suicides became more frequent in the city, I saw fathers who had their wives and children taken from them drink on the streets. And I knew I was a cause of it. But I couldn’t have cared less to be perfectly honest…
  
  
  
  One day the gang decided to call for a meeting. Usually at the meetings all of the members were in front of me, with Lucy behind me. I asked them what was going on, but got no response.
  The silence kept me safe for the moment. My whole body went cold as soon as the silence was broken.
  
  
  
  “I’m sorry” Lucy said with a quiver in her voice as she put the knife right in my back. My limbs went numb as I fell to the floor.
  I think it was the shock that made me fall so easily.
  As the warm crimson red liquid spread over the floor and as my colours started to fade out I couldn’t stop thinking about what really killed me in that situation; How could you forget me that easily?
  Did one of them convince her that they could do a better job?
  I should have seen it from the start— that you would rip my heart into pieces.
  Maybe it was my fault?
  I started to panic as I realised the person I had become.
  “Wait! Just give me another chance!”
  I tried to reach out and pull you close.
  “I never meant to hurt you… I’m so, so, so, sorry.“
  “Please don't leave me like this.”
  None of those words came out of my mouth, as much as I tried I couldn’t speak them. Each breath rattled like dice in my chest.
  I wasn't ready to make this one breath my last. I never thought I’d end up this way.
  The walls started to cave in as everything faded to black.
  
  
  
  I opened my eyes once more to find myself in a bed. I was alive… and my wound had been tended to. Although I couldn’t tell where I was stabbed at first it certainly felt like it was close to the shoulder. But that wouldn’t have been enough to make me fall like that—It must have been coated in something. I couldn’t tell how long I had been in that bed… there was no one around to answer that either.
  I had a feeling there was no point in looking for her.
  
  
  I knew I needed to move on. Change is inevitable.
  From that day forward I decided to leave that life behind. I’m finding out what it means to start over. I’m not going to let any of that happen again. I learned to cherish all I had left, to use what I have seen to be good. I need to hide a lot of my emotions so I don’t hurt more people… but there is a darkness living inside me and sometimes it takes over.
  I’ll live a life that my father and Lucy would be proud of. My feet are back on the ground.
  That city brought out the worst in me, set my demons free. But even if that’s true, I’d say it’s better when Lucy is with me… but that’s probably better left unsaid.
  I had to lose her to find myself again. I was torn. A suffering that never goes away, but open wounds can’t heal when you’re still tearing them apart. So I’ll have to ignore it.
  This constant sadness is a mix of things I miss—combined with all the hate of things I can't forget
  
  
  Now I’ve got a place where I can start over— another chance.
  I’ll learn from my mistakes.