TW: trauma, ED
So, lately, I've been noticing more and more a huge misunderstanding of a type of trauma that is just so extremely misunderstood. I myself suffer with this, and this is kind of hard for me to write about, so bear with me. This is not only to spread awareness about this topic, but also to show people exactly why this needs to be treated just like any other 'type' of traumatic experience - because trauma is not a joke no matter what it is!
So, in my profile, under triggers, you can see that it says 'food/eating'. Now, this trigger has been disrespected a lot during my time of RPing, and it is my worst one at this point, which make this thread all the more important to me. Food trauma is real!! It is not a joke!! Please, I have seen so many people making fun of this and saying 'just get over it. It's not a big deal'. If someone is having anxiety attacks just from reading or hearing about this stuff, then, please, yes it is. It is a big deal and is just as important of an issue as anything else, and I'm getting really tired of it being downplayed. It's not just a simple thing that is easy to live with. I wish I didn't have to go through everyday like this, but I can't control it at all.
Food trauma can be caused by a plethora of different things, but with myself, it has been caused by force feeding. I've explained to people what I go through dealing with this, but what I tend to hear the most from them is: 'so it's just anorexia?' No, it's not. So let me explain what it is like - in my experience as everyone is different - to deal with food trauma:
-The inability to read, write, or talk about anything related to it without having anxiety tics and/or attacks
-Rejection/Repulsion towards food
-Unable to feel hunger until it is extreme due to the absolute hatred for eating anything at all
-Feeling sick anytime you eat (whether it be because you just never do or because it genuinely disgusts you)
-Difficulty following a normal eating schedule
-Avoiding eating anything with people around
Now, some of this does sound like anorexia, but it's not. I can not stress this enough that it is not the same thing. There is such a lack of understanding on this subject to the point that it is made fun of because it sounds 'stupid'. Anorexia ≠ Food trauma.
I'm having a lot of trouble writing this and adding more stuff, but there is so much more to be said. So please ask any questions you have because I'd be more than happy to answer them.
So, lately, I've been noticing more and more a huge misunderstanding of a type of trauma that is just so extremely misunderstood. I myself suffer with this, and this is kind of hard for me to write about, so bear with me. This is not only to spread awareness about this topic, but also to show people exactly why this needs to be treated just like any other 'type' of traumatic experience - because trauma is not a joke no matter what it is!
So, in my profile, under triggers, you can see that it says 'food/eating'. Now, this trigger has been disrespected a lot during my time of RPing, and it is my worst one at this point, which make this thread all the more important to me. Food trauma is real!! It is not a joke!! Please, I have seen so many people making fun of this and saying 'just get over it. It's not a big deal'. If someone is having anxiety attacks just from reading or hearing about this stuff, then, please, yes it is. It is a big deal and is just as important of an issue as anything else, and I'm getting really tired of it being downplayed. It's not just a simple thing that is easy to live with. I wish I didn't have to go through everyday like this, but I can't control it at all.
Food trauma can be caused by a plethora of different things, but with myself, it has been caused by force feeding. I've explained to people what I go through dealing with this, but what I tend to hear the most from them is: 'so it's just anorexia?' No, it's not. So let me explain what it is like - in my experience as everyone is different - to deal with food trauma:
-The inability to read, write, or talk about anything related to it without having anxiety tics and/or attacks
-Rejection/Repulsion towards food
-Unable to feel hunger until it is extreme due to the absolute hatred for eating anything at all
-Feeling sick anytime you eat (whether it be because you just never do or because it genuinely disgusts you)
-Difficulty following a normal eating schedule
-Avoiding eating anything with people around
Now, some of this does sound like anorexia, but it's not. I can not stress this enough that it is not the same thing. There is such a lack of understanding on this subject to the point that it is made fun of because it sounds 'stupid'. Anorexia ≠ Food trauma.
I'm having a lot of trouble writing this and adding more stuff, but there is so much more to be said. So please ask any questions you have because I'd be more than happy to answer them.
My understanding of food-related problems is very limited so I apologize in advance if my question comes off as ignorant.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
Aardbei wrote:
My understanding of food-related problems is very limited so I apologize in advance if my question comes off as ignorant.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
It's not ignorant at all, no worries
I actually appreciate the question.So the definition of anorexia is, and I quote, 'An eating disorder causing people to obsess about weight and what they eat.
Anorexia is characterized by a distorted body image, with an unwarranted fear of being overweight.
Symptoms include trying to maintain a below-normal weight through starvation or too much exercise.'
In short, my thing has nothing to do with image at all. And I'm also not trying to be thin or lose weight or anything. I wouldn't say it's a sensory issue either. It's really hard to explain, but it's more of just an extreme discomfort with it in general. Not necessarily texture nor smell or anything. It's just a regular disgust and repulse of it. I'll try and give an example:
Picture this if you can: You have globophobia (fear of balloons). It's not a super common thing, and most people don't have this issue, but you do, and often people don't understand that. So say you have this and your friend asks if you want to go to their child cousin's birthday party. You can assume there would be balloons, and simply by knowing this, you absolutely do not want to go just because of how afraid you are of them. Your friend doesn't understand why and asks what the problem is, but naturally, it would be difficult to explain. Either way, you don't go because just the thought of being around balloons terrifies you and you want to save yourself the anxiety.
So it's like that in a way, just substitute things out obviously. I wouldn't say the food trauma is a fear either, but I think you get the point I'm trying to make.
AliRevellian wrote:
Aardbei wrote:
My understanding of food-related problems is very limited so I apologize in advance if my question comes off as ignorant.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
What would you say is the key difference between your experiences and anorexic people? My limited understanding of anorexia is that it's related to a fear of gaining weight or other body image problems, but I don't know if that's correct. I assume your experience is unrelated to body image problems entirely though? Is it more of a sensory issue?
I know a few people who really dislike certain textures, and I myself cannot stand water at all. (The feel of it is horrible to me, it makes maintaining basic hygiene unpleasant and I constantly wipe my hands when I cook because I cannot stand the feeling of them being a little wet.) It's not a stretch to assume people might have bad reactions to other things which others might consider normal.
It's not ignorant at all, no worries
I actually appreciate the question.So the definition of anorexia is, and I quote, 'An eating disorder causing people to obsess about weight and what they eat.
Anorexia is characterized by a distorted body image, with an unwarranted fear of being overweight.
Symptoms include trying to maintain a below-normal weight through starvation or too much exercise.'
In short, my thing has nothing to do with image at all. And I'm also not trying to be thin or lose weight or anything. I wouldn't say it's a sensory issue either. It's really hard to explain, but it's more of just an extreme discomfort with it in general. Not necessarily texture nor smell or anything. It's just a regular disgust and repulse of it. I'll try and give an example:
Picture this if you can: You have globophobia (fear of balloons). It's not a super common thing, and most people don't have this issue, but you do, and often people don't understand that. So say you have this and your friend asks if you want to go to their child cousin's birthday party. You can assume there would be balloons, and simply by knowing this, you absolutely do not want to go just because of how afraid you are of them. Your friend doesn't understand why and asks what the problem is, but naturally, it would be difficult to explain. Either way, you don't go because just the thought of being around balloons terrifies you and you want to save yourself the anxiety.
So it's like that in a way, just substitute things out obviously. I wouldn't say the food trauma is a fear either, but I think you get the point I'm trying to make.
My mother has a fear of balloons actually, so I do understand that. As someone with their own hang-ups as well, I intuitively empathize with your situation.
I didn't know food trauma was a thing, so thanks for the awareness post.
Okay, backing up from what I'd started typing, I should probably first ask:
What is the result you would like to see from this spread of awareness?
What I'd originally started typing was carrying implied assumptions about that and baggage from things that aren't necessarily relevant, and that I think would have come across as accusatory no matter how I tried phrasing things because of that, so I figured it'd be good to first find out what even might be relevant at all. So, essentially, what problem(s) are you hoping this might help to rectify? (And it's totally okay to acknowledge that you can only speak for yourself! Please don't feel like you have to suddenly become some sort of "designated representative" or anything; that would be a pretty big burden to take on, and entirely unfair to have placed on you.)
And I don't know how much you may have already made use of it, but you can report people you're having trouble with, even if it's "just" causing you discomfort. If someone belittles you or continues to do something you've asked them not to, that counts as harassment. RPR has some pretty fantastic mods, and they're really good at being only as harsh as is necessary to the situation.
What is the result you would like to see from this spread of awareness?
What I'd originally started typing was carrying implied assumptions about that and baggage from things that aren't necessarily relevant, and that I think would have come across as accusatory no matter how I tried phrasing things because of that, so I figured it'd be good to first find out what even might be relevant at all. So, essentially, what problem(s) are you hoping this might help to rectify? (And it's totally okay to acknowledge that you can only speak for yourself! Please don't feel like you have to suddenly become some sort of "designated representative" or anything; that would be a pretty big burden to take on, and entirely unfair to have placed on you.)
Elaboration of the question
The main one you get across in your opening post is to believe people who say they have food trauma and treat them accordingly. (And, intentional or not, I feel it should be implied that the same goes for other "uncommon" or less-known traumas.) And... I guess the real question is "what does that look like?"
Is it just believing it and not mocking, ignoring, or pushing back against it?
Is it being more proactive about checking profiles or asking people about about subjects to avoid from the get-go, and maybe checking again periodically in case there's a change or to make sure nothing's been forgotten?
Is it labelling/censoring relevant terms & images or avoiding those things entirely?
Is this focused on limited/private/small group interactions, any conversation you enter for so long as you're in it, or something you hope would be automatically accommodated site-wide (such as how slurs aren't allowed in public spaces and how there is a setting that allows people with arachnophobia to avoid seeing arachnid enemies during Epic Week)?
I don't doubt this would absolutely vary from person to person, but what things trouble you? (The rest of this paragraph is vague examples, and I know that my under-active visual imagination makes it hard for me to know when words might still be too much.) I would assume images of food would be a problem for anyone with adequate vision to identify them, but does level of realism matter? I would also assume that descriptions of food or eating would be an issue, too, but is it an issue to mention food (specific kinds, or in general?) or make references to food, or to state something is happening without description? Does it extend to places like restaurants being a no-go in RP, in discussion...?
Other things I might be missing, whether that's big details, important nuances, etc?
And just to be clear, I realize that some of the things I'm asking about might make it seem like I'm being hyperbolic and so mocking, but I am asking in earnest. I admit to having conflicting feelings on some points about what is "reasonable," and feel that what's "reasonable" and what's "fair" don't always match up, but I still think it's important to know the goals so that any action can be taken at all.
Is it just believing it and not mocking, ignoring, or pushing back against it?
Is it being more proactive about checking profiles or asking people about about subjects to avoid from the get-go, and maybe checking again periodically in case there's a change or to make sure nothing's been forgotten?
Is it labelling/censoring relevant terms & images or avoiding those things entirely?
Is this focused on limited/private/small group interactions, any conversation you enter for so long as you're in it, or something you hope would be automatically accommodated site-wide (such as how slurs aren't allowed in public spaces and how there is a setting that allows people with arachnophobia to avoid seeing arachnid enemies during Epic Week)?
I don't doubt this would absolutely vary from person to person, but what things trouble you? (The rest of this paragraph is vague examples, and I know that my under-active visual imagination makes it hard for me to know when words might still be too much.) I would assume images of food would be a problem for anyone with adequate vision to identify them, but does level of realism matter? I would also assume that descriptions of food or eating would be an issue, too, but is it an issue to mention food (specific kinds, or in general?) or make references to food, or to state something is happening without description? Does it extend to places like restaurants being a no-go in RP, in discussion...?
Other things I might be missing, whether that's big details, important nuances, etc?
And just to be clear, I realize that some of the things I'm asking about might make it seem like I'm being hyperbolic and so mocking, but I am asking in earnest. I admit to having conflicting feelings on some points about what is "reasonable," and feel that what's "reasonable" and what's "fair" don't always match up, but I still think it's important to know the goals so that any action can be taken at all.
And I don't know how much you may have already made use of it, but you can report people you're having trouble with, even if it's "just" causing you discomfort. If someone belittles you or continues to do something you've asked them not to, that counts as harassment. RPR has some pretty fantastic mods, and they're really good at being only as harsh as is necessary to the situation.
Zelphyr wrote:
Okay, backing up from what I'd started typing, I should probably first ask:
What is the result you would like to see from this spread of awareness?
What I'd originally started typing was carrying implied assumptions about that and baggage from things that aren't necessarily relevant, and that I think would have come across as accusatory no matter how I tried phrasing things because of that, so I figured it'd be good to first find out what even might be relevant at all. So, essentially, what problem(s) are you hoping this might help to rectify? (And it's totally okay to acknowledge that you can only speak for yourself! Please don't feel like you have to suddenly become some sort of "designated representative" or anything; that would be a pretty big burden to take on, and entirely unfair to have placed on you.)
And I don't know how much you may have already made use of it, but you can report people you're having trouble with, even if it's "just" causing you discomfort. If someone belittles you or continues to do something you've asked them not to, that counts as harassment. RPR has some pretty fantastic mods, and they're really good at being only as harsh as is necessary to the situation.
What is the result you would like to see from this spread of awareness?
What I'd originally started typing was carrying implied assumptions about that and baggage from things that aren't necessarily relevant, and that I think would have come across as accusatory no matter how I tried phrasing things because of that, so I figured it'd be good to first find out what even might be relevant at all. So, essentially, what problem(s) are you hoping this might help to rectify? (And it's totally okay to acknowledge that you can only speak for yourself! Please don't feel like you have to suddenly become some sort of "designated representative" or anything; that would be a pretty big burden to take on, and entirely unfair to have placed on you.)
Elaboration of the question
The main one you get across in your opening post is to believe people who say they have food trauma and treat them accordingly. (And, intentional or not, I feel it should be implied that the same goes for other "uncommon" or less-known traumas.) And... I guess the real question is "what does that look like?"
Is it just believing it and not mocking, ignoring, or pushing back against it?
Is it being more proactive about checking profiles or asking people about about subjects to avoid from the get-go, and maybe checking again periodically in case there's a change or to make sure nothing's been forgotten?
Is it labelling/censoring relevant terms & images or avoiding those things entirely?
Is this focused on limited/private/small group interactions, any conversation you enter for so long as you're in it, or something you hope would be automatically accommodated site-wide (such as how slurs aren't allowed in public spaces and how there is a setting that allows people with arachnophobia to avoid seeing arachnid enemies during Epic Week)?
I don't doubt this would absolutely vary from person to person, but what things trouble you? (The rest of this paragraph is vague examples, and I know that my under-active visual imagination makes it hard for me to know when words might still be too much.) I would assume images of food would be a problem for anyone with adequate vision to identify them, but does level of realism matter? I would also assume that descriptions of food or eating would be an issue, too, but is it an issue to mention food (specific kinds, or in general?) or make references to food, or to state something is happening without description? Does it extend to places like restaurants being a no-go in RP, in discussion...?
Other things I might be missing, whether that's big details, important nuances, etc?
And just to be clear, I realize that some of the things I'm asking about might make it seem like I'm being hyperbolic and so mocking, but I am asking in earnest. I admit to having conflicting feelings on some points about what is "reasonable," and feel that what's "reasonable" and what's "fair" don't always match up, but I still think it's important to know the goals so that any action can be taken at all.
Is it just believing it and not mocking, ignoring, or pushing back against it?
Is it being more proactive about checking profiles or asking people about about subjects to avoid from the get-go, and maybe checking again periodically in case there's a change or to make sure nothing's been forgotten?
Is it labelling/censoring relevant terms & images or avoiding those things entirely?
Is this focused on limited/private/small group interactions, any conversation you enter for so long as you're in it, or something you hope would be automatically accommodated site-wide (such as how slurs aren't allowed in public spaces and how there is a setting that allows people with arachnophobia to avoid seeing arachnid enemies during Epic Week)?
I don't doubt this would absolutely vary from person to person, but what things trouble you? (The rest of this paragraph is vague examples, and I know that my under-active visual imagination makes it hard for me to know when words might still be too much.) I would assume images of food would be a problem for anyone with adequate vision to identify them, but does level of realism matter? I would also assume that descriptions of food or eating would be an issue, too, but is it an issue to mention food (specific kinds, or in general?) or make references to food, or to state something is happening without description? Does it extend to places like restaurants being a no-go in RP, in discussion...?
Other things I might be missing, whether that's big details, important nuances, etc?
And just to be clear, I realize that some of the things I'm asking about might make it seem like I'm being hyperbolic and so mocking, but I am asking in earnest. I admit to having conflicting feelings on some points about what is "reasonable," and feel that what's "reasonable" and what's "fair" don't always match up, but I still think it's important to know the goals so that any action can be taken at all.
And I don't know how much you may have already made use of it, but you can report people you're having trouble with, even if it's "just" causing you discomfort. If someone belittles you or continues to do something you've asked them not to, that counts as harassment. RPR has some pretty fantastic mods, and they're really good at being only as harsh as is necessary to the situation.
Well, yeah, it's hard for me to say I'm trying to represent a large group of people who feel like I do, but I really just want this whole thing to be more 'recognised' in society I guess you could say. And this could totally be relevant to other smaller EDs or trauma-related things, but it's mostly focusing on this just because of how much I've seen it disrespected. I want people to know that this isn't a joke or one of those 'this generation is just so sensitive about everything'. It's hard for me to explain, but I wand food trauma to become a thing people know more about rather than something that's more silent or small compared to some other issues, if that answers the question.
What kind of accommodations help in a case like this? And what kind of professional help is available that people can be directed towards to help support the person and ease their distress?
Sanne wrote:
What kind of accommodations help in a case like this? And what kind of professional help is available that people can be directed towards to help support the person and ease their distress?
I won't lie to you, I have no idea. I'm assuming any psychiatrist could definitely help, but I have not been involved enough in therapy to know if they do. Especially in later years. But I feel like people should be aware that they're not alone because, from my point of view, this topic is rather isolated, and I've never met anyone else who had this issue. I'm almost hoping that someone will see this who has this problem to, and just knowing they're not the only one might bring by a bit of comfort. I know it would for me.
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