Forums » Smalltalk » AMA: Diagnosed with ADHD for nearly two decades

okay hi I'm fixing this up to be less ugly and maybe with a little less lapslock. only a little, though.

hello! i'm kamui, i have that sweet sweet adhd! i've been diagnosed since the wee lil toddlin age of kindergarten (as mentioned in a comment) and i mean...still got it. not like it's going anywhere-

there's no limit to questions that can be asked! social, family, school life, go ahead! i can't answer much on actual diagnosis because i don't remember, but i can absolutely answer questions on medication! i have no problem chatting about what i've taken and if you've thought about a similar medication or even taken it, ask away! i've gotten a rough end of some meds (lost 20 pounds in a few weeks on them whoopsie) so it's nice to hear someone else's experiences, i think.

i can also answer questions about commonly known (or not so common) side effects/symptoms that come with it! this includes but not limited to-

-ADHD paralysis

-'i have a paper due but i'll just clean instead'

-constant repitition

- four sources of noise at the same time for a sense of peace

- hyperfixations

- and my personal favorite (not. i hate it), RSD! Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. doesn't it sound....loveley!

and, as i've mentioned in my now deleted rougher draft of this post, i am a black woman so asking any questions along the lines of how it may have impacted me growing up or how i'm perceived is also welcome! asking about how it may have impacted diagnosis is welcome but expect little answers...beats me. it was over ten years ago, haha.

happy asking!

*hifive for team ADHD*

I have a few questions for you:

How were you able to obtain a diagnosis so early on? What did that process look like?

And also:

Though I am personally white, I've been learning over time just how much prejudice Black patients face when it comes to medical needs. Would you say that being Black has impacted your ability to get the treatment you need, and if so, how have you advocated for yourself? (Or how did your support network help you to advocate?)

So you know when that ADHD boredom is like.. tangibly painful.. and you end up on the ground just.. glaring at the ceiling, doing nothing and in pain? No, just me?

What's your version look like? How do you get through it? Hopefully you have some new strategies I can try?

woo!

hi-fives back

(is totally not in tears)

ah see- the wonderful power of genetics

my mom has it too, probably saw that i was a weirdo lil kid (but maybe that's bc i was in catholic school and nothing stuck to me) haha. went in, got diagnosed in kindergarden! so i'd say anywhere from age 4-6. i have no memory of the entire process so unfortunately i can't answer any questions around that


again, big shout out to my mom! she's really smart and also just...she just knows things can be really hard. black people, especially black women, are disproportionally misheard in the medical field. despite being in a country where birth mortality rate is incredibly low, black women are at the highest rate of dying/dealing with complications through childbirth. i'm lucky me and my sister were born fine (although i was...a messy little breach baby during a uh...event during the world trade center, but that's it's own story, lmao)

but she knows about this stuff, and she made sure to make sure i always had a strong voice out there too

thankfully, with the solid diagnoses of over a decade, i haven't had any doctors doubt me. there's no problems with medications because it's been such a longstanding thing. i think she fought really hard to make it shown that i got the proper testing and diagnosis because sometimes people just don't believe you without a medical figure backing you.

treatment has never been a problem, if we mean medically. at the moment i'm not on medication but if i wanted to be, i'd talk to my doctor, talk about previous medications i've had, what i'm looking for, and boom, bottle get! medical treatment was never a problem, but like...physical treatment was a big problem. it's really awkward looking back at a lil kid version of yourself and seeing all the times you got in trouble and all the times you noticed you stood out, and when you're a kid, ADHD doesn't really have any meaning to you, your mom says you got it, so you got it, and it's also bad because ADHD really just has the symptoms of what people seem to hate the most. hyperactive, attention deficit, those two right there is a pain for teachers.

i think they saw this lil black girl who was too loud and too hyper and just figured she was a lost cause. but when i was a kid i didn't notice that. i just figured i was the trouble maker and when i was older, i wondered why when kids who didn't look like me (see: white) but did the same things as me didn't get in trouble, i'd get pissed. even when it was a conflict between me and another poc, i seemed to get the short hand because teachers just saw me as kamui, the lil troublemaker.

which is unfortunate. having taken child education classes, and especially one this last semester on disabilities, it's stuff right there that tells you all about neurodivergency. i feel like it's a requirement to be a teacher, but i'm not sure, since i'm not aiming to be one. i'd wish every teacher the shot to take a class like that and sit back and look. my mom raised a strong kid and now i'm a strong adult so i'm not bothered. but i wouldn't want some kid getting in their head because a teacher saw them black first and a kid second.

phew! long! sorry for the tangent

yes! i've actually been reduced to tears cause the boredom was ripping away at me.

mine is less on the ground and more curled up at my desk. i'm usually on my phone and i'm just mindlessly scrolling, headphones on but i don't have the energy to play music and get into it. it's just...a lot of force. you know the ADHD paralysis...it sucks.

unfortunately i don't have any strategies. i usually ask my friends to help bully me. but one thing that's always helped a little is music playing because i usually get it on to start something else when im stuck in a rut, whether it be gaming or drawing.

i have cried a lot though. the boredom drives my brain insane because it's just screaming 'DO SOMETHING' and im stuck in a chair not moving haha. no foolproof strategy here though...not yet

Also high fiving here!

I wasn't diagnosed until my 30's and I learned a lot about masking and pretending I was okay and functional when I super wasn't. I was 6-ish years in therapy before we kind of realized there was something going on with my brain that therapy itself wasn't able to fix, and then I got the diagnosis and meds and everything just kind of clicked together.

Which also brings me to the question: does your treatment only involve medication, or did you also receive a form of talk therapy at some point as part of your treatment? If not, do you think it would be beneficial to help support you?

It's mandatory in my country for ADHD treatment to include therapy until it's proven to have no (more) benefits in conjunction with meds, but I discovered this isn't true in other places in the world, so I'm always curious what it's like and whether or not people feel they miss it.

Well look, we're right there with you, friend. Tears and all. You at your desk, me on the ground next to you 😂

In the context of this site.. rp helps me too..
Even if I can't get my ass up and writing, my ADHD makes it impossible for me to move on with life until I clear my inbox.
So when I log in and there's a post from a partner for me to read, it forces to start thinking about my next post.. encourages me to take some action..make notes, communicate with my partner, maybe even write?? Otherwise I can't clear my inbox, you know? Lol


Oh that's interesting, what country?
Ontario, Canada - and they definitely do not come hand in hand.. you can get as much therapy as you can afford/get covered. It's separate from a ~$2500 assessment that can get you a diagnosis, which can get you prescribed meds from your family doctor.

for me, yes! but also no at the moment I'm not taking medication. i think it'd be good for me to grab a bottle that way i can take it on days where i'd need it, but i've been pretty lucky in the last few years with classes that i don't need the crutch, so there's that!

i was seeing a therapist around the time i was diagnosed but i have little memory of it. i wouldn't be surprised if it was less therapy until diagnosed but therapy to help with diagnosis! i'm not sure if it's the same here as i haven't seen one here (thankfully diagnoses aren't at any risk of being doubted fifteen years down the line) in a long time.

i think thats interesting, though! i wonder if it's to make sure there's professional backing but to also make it so there's no chance of falsifying a diagnosis to gain medication. im not sure why anyone would want to fake it other than for meds, it's not as if it's a fun disorder to have, haha.

i think a talk therapy would be good especially when young, professionals can help explain some feelings that a kid is going through and how it's related to their adhd. this can help them grow up and realize that maybe it's not because of what adults around them said, but it's something that's aggravated or worsened by the neurodivergency. not just limited to kids too! really, talk therapy at any age is going to be a help, i'd think :0

What advice do you have for those whose partners have ADHD? How can we be more understanding/supportive?

everyone i know with adhd is different, but above all, i think just basic understanding is most important to me. some days i get into really bad lows and i might want to just self isolate- my wonderful gf doesn't like it bc i completely shut off from everyone. there's no warning and i can go dark for days at a time, but she's still there at the end of it.

but that's my case! there's the classic offering to help/asking what can be done to help, which i think is a great form of support in itself! having your partner express what it is they're looking for, even if they're unsure, really shows more of the fact that they're not going to have to worry about being punished for some things they cant control. for me, i'd rather have a partner that recognizes that whatever i go through may happen and just accepts it instead of one constantly vying for solutions, because there isn't always one.

it's always frustrating to be blamed for things out of our control, especially some of the classic symptoms, like hyperactivity or the constant forgetting, but also don't be afraid to be firm with your boundaries too. a healthy relationship goes both ways, so don't feel as if you have to take on the burden of your partners emotions and yours too!

but that's the type of advice i'd give for any relationship, not just one where one or both parties has ADHD. it just happens to work with neurodivergency :0 communication is always key

Sorry to ask a question so late but i also have ADH but is there any way you would cope with school and get homework and tests done? Because i always had a low esteem but now more than ever

hello! no problem at all i dont mind if anyone wants to keep asking, this thread shouldn't just be limited to the living library week!

honestly, i cant provide the best answer. everyone is different. while some focus on school easier, some struggle. from elementary to high school i really struggled, but i never found a set method because my parents didn't put in the extra effort to learn n understand my adhd more. it was simply do your homework, do good, or deal with the consequences. im in college now, though! it took a semester or two, but i worked out whats best for me. the best advice i can give is to not stress about finding your rhythm.

mine may be stressful- i do my homework the day it's due. is it last minute? sure. but it assures me that i know i got it done because i can watch it all be checked off online. does this mean i write ten page papers 4 hours before it's due? absolutely, and such is the consequences for my actions, but i deal with it either way.

block out your time in a way that works best. small rewards system are good too. don't deny yourself basic necessities, like eating and drinking, but maybe bigger stuff! 'ill draw for 10 minutes when i get x amount of hw done' or 'ill make myself something sweet when i finish my test'. if you're struggling with focusing but you dont want to/cant take medications, self medication is something possible! anything with caffeine! coffee, energy drinks, etc. i dont use them because i'm v cranky on stimulants but like i said! everyone is different!

thank you so much i personally do it also in the morning, first i would do the day before but now i do on the day itself because its easier to make the homework, coffee usually gets me tired but there is something addictive to coffee. i dont know why but i dont drink it alot either since im lazy to make it. but i dont use medication im not sure if my mom would let me in the first place but i have been wondering for some time already what kind of effects and side effects it has.

coffee slowing you down is bc it's a stimulant, the same happens to me. with energy drinks, anything with caffeine will slow you down but it's an easier form of self medication. adhd meds are different for everyone too. dont worry ab being put on adderall right off the bat, it doesn't work for everyone. i used to take vyvanse, which is another popular medication. it worked really well for me, but had some nasty side effects. i would get very cranky at those who interrupted my workflow (helped me concentrate) and when i took it in high school, it curbed my hunger. i was doing weightlifting so uh...maybe dont squat your weight for an hour and a half every other day and not eat. i dropped 20 pounds in twoish weeks.

but that happening to you is unlikely- bc again! everyone is different. bring it it up to your parents! you dont have to take it every day! if you know you have a test coming up or you're struggling academically, you can take it on those days. after a bit, i only took it when i had tests. i havent taken meds in a while but that doesn't mean i dont need them anymore at all either.

thank you again! my mom prefers to use biological or more stuff that is considered good for your body because she believes medicine doesnt help and sometimes can even worsen it but i will bring this up then. i didnt know there was also different types of medications to help you concentrate, but in what kind of form do they come in then? big pills or powder form or another form? and sorry for the late answer.

haha yeah im sorry but that's not a thing. unfortunately that...definitely ticks a little towards anti vaxx logistics so please remember to get your vaccines and that its ok to take cough medicine when you have a cold. there's no 'natural' herbalife medicine for adhd. it's a neurological disorder that's present at birth, and can never go away through medication or vitamins or anything else.

mostly pills, and small! think...advil sized? sometimes smaller. my adhd medication was probably a lil smaller than an advil- and they'll always come as a pill! for the most part, adhd meds will have some sort of stimulant, the strength and side effects will vary from not only person to person, but dosage too. if your mom wont listen, try and get a doctor to talk to her, and specifically mention medication versus...'natural remedies'. maybe also make sure it's an actual licensed practitioner, not your local neighborhood seller too