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There's different ways of doing them.

I tend to come across as patronizing and stuff sometimes... still working on identifying some of what causes that so I can work on it, but I think in some cases, it comes to a tradeoff where I need to pick between something like, "okay, do I want to risk sounding like a patronizing jerk, or do I want to risk someone having to deal with a struggle that I know is common for a lot of people to deal with...?"

Unfortunately, because they're not standardized, they don't stick in my memory at all. I mostly fall back on emoticons, but even those are changing in what people perceive their tone to be a bunch, these days.

Zelphyr people say that to me too and I am pretty sure it's just people who make long posts haha.

In my case, this might be an ADHD thing...

https://www.textline.com/blog/tone-indicator-list

Inevitably, how you perceive tone WILL come down to the environment you're currently in, your perception of that environment, and what environments you've been in before. That's human nature.

Yeh, us ADHD folks are among those more likely to develop a habit of over-explaining things due to a sense of needing to make sure we're understood.

I have an URGENT sense to be understood that is half-fueled by ADHD and half-fueled by... eh, other stuff. Don't wanna overshare.

Wait, thats not normal?

It can be! But sometimes, it can be neurodiverse habit.

Man, my ADHD is a huge part of how I communicate

SAME.

The "other stuff" might still be more related to ADHD stuff than you realize. But that's just a wild guess.

Other stuff?

But yeah, I come from rough-and-tumble parts of the internet where we act like d-bags to each other and to us, that's just banter. But I suspect lots of people around the RPR would think it looks like toxicity and bullying... It's not, and people can care about each other while communicating in pretty harsh ways, and I can see why things might look like it if you're not used to those social cues that exist in such spaces...

I don't do those things here because they are not interpreted, by most people, how I intend them to be. I've had to learn a different set of rules entirely for places like RPR...

@Zelphyr: It's... related to trauma, unfortunately.

I overthink so much and end up making dumb choices anyways

It's both banter and (often-unintentional) bullying in a lot of those places. I've ended up having to play lookout and mediator before when people would miss each others little social cues and people would end up actually hurt from things that were all meant in good fun.

To lighten the mood, What music do yall listen to?