Forums » Art & Creativity » OFFICIAL Pirate Poetry and Limerick Contest

Avast me beauties!

September 19th be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. To celebrate, we'll be havin' a pirate poetry and limerick contest.

Prizes in these scurvy categories:

• Funniest
• Most creative
• Best rhyming
• Worst Rhyming
• Historical accuracy
• Best RP Related pirate-themed poem or limerick
• Anything else the captain damn well pleases, if there be enough entries!

Ye have until September 19th to compose yer entries, ye salty sea dogs ye. Post them in this here thread.

And I don't want to see no land lubber talk, neither, or ye shall be forced to walk the plank and shall be sleepin' in Davy Jones' locker! Arrr!

I once were a pirate lassie.
My pirate talk was classy.
So I pillaged and plundered about on my ship,
The Statue of Liberty's Chassy

Wolfy-T, methinks ye be the bravest buccaneer this barnacled sea dog ever seen sailing the high seas. Ye have swung across in advance o' the boarding party and be seizin' the galleon called Poetry for yerself!

Be there challengers?

*stares at a little dizzy-eyed and stumbles away* Language barrier, I hate you.

I be workin' on it.
I just be havin' a lil' question.
Ye be sayin' poetry an' limerick, that be meanin' it can be other poetries asweel or just be limericks?

Be we able to ship more'n one entry, lass?

Aye, ye may ship as many entries as will float in the sea, me hearty. But as it be with all o' our contests, ye may only win a single time per competition. Unless the prize ye be seekin' be some jolly praise and the delighted laughter o' yer shipmates!

Aye aye, poetry, haiku, a jaunty reel, ye're not limited to limericks alone.

Me first entry has shipped!

Pillagin’ an’ plunderin’, tha’s what ye see,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Ain’t no place fer landlubbers like ye,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Fine lasses an’ gents will scream fer me,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
A finer crew there ne’er will be,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
Ye’ll shiver yer timbers an’ shake like a tree,
When scurvy pirates sail the rough sea!
We be scoutin’ gold and a silver key,
When scurvy pirates sail the high sea!
A watery grave won’t set you free,
When Scurvy pirates sail the high sea!

I be enterin' me entry. It be what it be. Now poems ain't me thin' but I be tryin' it anyway. If I be qula- Qlua-.. If I be havin' a chance at the worste I say I be damn proud o' it!

Ah be rememberin' like 'twas yesterday
It be a good mornin' at the pirate bay
I be walkin down the street, on me merry way

When all o' a sudden I be lookin' down the barrel o' a gun!
Keeulhaul me I say, this goin' ta be a bad day
Cause all this man wanted, was me rum!
Proud as I be, I turned and told him nay

To me surprise he shot me.. RIGHT IN THE BUM.

A seadog by th' name o' Rhaetia once related this tale t' me:

(Some embellishmentin' mighta been done 'tween ports, 'course. An' it might, er, push the PG-13 law just a tad. But it's all in th' name o' comedy, m' mates!)

We set out bright an' bushy
From Alberta to Amatsu
To save th' place from demonry
An' some bedeviled bilge rats-u.

'Twas a calm night on th' high sea that eve,
Sailors an' saviours tucked in tight,
How else to wile th' time away
Than with weenie roasts and grog, right?

We gathered in the galley,
The scurvy mates an' me,
The grog free-flowed, our noses glowed,
A right good time had we.

When one lad piped up from th' crowd,
"Eh, Rhae, gives us a show!"
For I was the wizard aboard, y'see,
An' it wasn't a hard thing t'know.

So sez I, "Those weenies, dearie!
Give 'em here an' I'll astound yer eyes!"
An' I lit us up a roarin' fire
But there's when came th' surprise-

So grogged was I, could barely aim,
Seeking out them sausage shapes -
When a sailor lad who sought relief
From th' grog made his escape

So I spied another sausage
that had not been on my pile,
And with a snap of fingers
Sent it up in flames, in style!

Th' sailor dog was not quite so
Impressed as all the others.
In fact, he curled up in a ball
And cried out for his mother.

"Medic!" cried I, all aghast,
When I noticed what I'd done,
But they were all as grogged as us,
Keelhauled down to a one.

Th' lad, he found a bed that night
In a rainbarrel on the deck.
Th' rest of us just laughed it off-
'Cept I, feelin' as a wreck.

So, lessons, they were made that night -
A dandy one to learn.
Magicians, keep your spells t'self
When grogged, 'lest weenies burn!

(Original tale can be found o'er yonder: http://midgard-rpg.livejournal.com/276350.html)

It warms the cockles o' me heart to return to port and find such a fine selection o' poems awaitin' me.

Celestina, ye be a gem, the likes o' which I never a'fore heard tell of in these waters.

Arrr Captain Silverblade, yer rhymin' have such a stench it'll curl the hairs on yer chest! Ye may be assured that ye'll have a fightin' chance in the worst rhymin' category.

Dragonfire -- yer epic tale o' roastin' weenies is funny on accounting of it bein' true. Methinks we've all had days where the grog ran too free and we weren't too careful with our aim.

Inspir'd by yon old salt Benjamin Hornigold

C’ptain Hornigold fear’d by most
captur’d a ship off Honduran coast
He enter’d and that’s
when he demand’d their hats
and sail’d off again like a ghost

'Tis me first time daring to venture b'yond me 'ol grotto to try me hook-hand at this here contest! Me glass eye wanders t'wards treasure, it does, and me nose can't resist a good whiff 'o treasure. Of course, 's difficult to smell over me crew. Ye see...

Arr, pirate's most feared enemy,
Ain't scurvy or beasts of the sea,
'Tis bubbling broil,
And scented bath oil,
No baths fer a man 'o the sea!

Haiku for ye.

Pirates ahoy,
Claimin' ye booty
they be.

I just got done makin' a news post about this here contest. ARRRR!

Since there were bein' a single entry in nearly e'ery category, all the salty sea dogs who tried their hands at pirate themed poetry shall be sailin' away with three months o' Epic status and an extra character slot. Well played, me buckos!