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He sighed to Draeval. "Just go ahead and take it. It's a pain to keep heated anyway, and for some reason people are wary of buying food from me." Gee I wonder why. "You've got hands, Gabe." He hinted. Go ahead and put it down for him. He was comfy on his perch.

"Okay. Things get obscured over time, especially through folk lore. First of all, Jack did not sell the cow." He clarified, spirit-finger-spreading out his hands like wings for emphasis and to demand a halt. "In fact, the cow's disappearance and the beans were completely incidental and unrelated." He cleared his throat, glancing about as if guilty of something. His eyes fell on Draeval.

"As our wolfish friend likely hasn't heard this, let me begin. The tale most people hear is of the young, poor lad who was sent to town to sell a cow, and returned with some beans a man promised him would make all of his dreams come true. Of course his mother just about laid an egg when he returned with beans, rather than money for their only potential cash-cow, and threw the beans out the window. This is a mere manner of making understandable a series of events that most bards have royally and righteously obscured over time." He dramatically jutted a finger up, making a point.

"Now, the truth of it is, there has always been a stalk leading towards a world of giants. Titans. Joguns. Call them what you will! And there was one dashing young youth, dare I say an eternal one, who discovered it. Even among gods it was a difficult tree to climb, but nothing could stop the spry Jack. Many could not wrap their minds around it. But not only was he clever, he was special. In fact, so special that he need not even fight to climb--he had to only fall <i>asleep</i>, and each time he would find himself at a different point in the stalk. He was also running away from a very angry mother-figure all her own, who could be quite a cow, but I'll avoid that lest I be turned into any number of things right now." By that, he was grinning up awkwardly at the sky--a gritted apology to... the clouds, apparently.

"...ANYWAY!~" He broke back into the topic, clapping his hands together. "The first time young Jack reached what he thought was the top of this imperceivable tree, there was another kingdom entirely. While young, he was not so small but found himself dwarfed by the local Jotuns. Still, they held so many unusual treasures and ideas that he couldn't help but explore. Now, when he found a..." he paused abruptly, furrowing his brows. Gabriel might identify it--the times that there were no words for what he wanted to depict. "...treasure... hair...?" He blinked a few times. "...A golden-haired devil, there! What do you think he did? And do keep in mind, this is just the start of the story."

er... *Jotuns >.<

Drae gave a big woof and a wag, "I owez ya one, maibe I'll figure zumtin out far ya I'm juz not bery creatibe wen I'm mizzin partz." Well, he wasn't and he was missing parts. Obviously. Since he was still shimmering. He tilted his head, "Okayz now ya gotz me zcared bout yar food...but ya kno...I dun tink I z'ould worry zo muc' bout dat juz now."

He was hungry! So he'll wait, as patiently as possible for his food. And then he's attacking that plate as much as a shimmering wolf can. Because every bite he takes is kind of...flashy. This was so going to end up in rainbow brite poop. He just wasn't thinking about it yet. Ahem.

He has eyes on him and he'll tilt his head, "Wat'd ya da ta da cow? I like cowz..." And not just to eat! Anyway he's eating and listening.

Gabriel would get the plate for Draeval, and he'd set it down on the floor so he could eat it. Gabriel is settling down onto the floor himself, and he'll finally look at Luci, though he still seems a little bit sad. He'll listen to the story, and he doesn't interrupt as Luci tells his story. It's different from the one Gabe vaguely remembered,and he looks a little confused. "Well, he probably stole something." It's Jack, and he's got the idea that this story is about Luci, and there was talk about a golden haired devil. "I mean he was uh...poor right?" Not that he thought that was an excuse to steal, he just didn't want Luci to snap at him again. He'd stopped petting Draeval so he could eat, and he had his arms wrapped around himself for now. He's curious to see where this story is going, since the beginning is already different from what he remembered.

Cow-questions drew glances to and fro. "The cow is a confusion to the story!!" He paused, then... shifted uncomfortably. "...Actually I'll tell you where the cow comes in, in the real version!! That's how how the folk tale goes. Pretend there is no cow, unless a stepmother counts! ...And that's a metaphor--NEVERMIND." He clammed up abruptly, waving it out of the air lest he be smote.


Gabriel earned nodding. "Yep. That's just Jack though, isn't it? I mean, why do you think they call it 'jacking something' from someone?" He riddled, staring Gabriel down as if expecting an answer. Regardless, he moved on.

"When you're the size of a thimble compared to someone, they barely even notice you until their hair is missing. And, you know, damn if they weren't greedy and wanted to keep it. It was only three golden hairs. ...And... maybe some other ones that had to be yanked with." He cleared his throat again. "Let it be said that, with some help from one well-charmed wife, Jack got away. Of course they were boggled when no matter where they searched, Jack wasn't there. Not everyone climbed all up and down a big cosmic tree like that. Some of the giants weren't even aware of it. But... you know, as they started realizing things like their hair, and other valuables were going missing, they got increasingly more guarded."

"It wasn't only Jack that found interest in these things though. He had a mother, and a father, and all kinds of siblings who couldn't do what Jack did. They all started sending Jack, time and again. Jack found the first stringed instrument--well, at least as far as this plane could consider it. He recreated it later! Jack found a lot of interesting things. Jack found the origin of the term 'wild goose chase', for one. But they weren't geese. They were..." He paused, gesturing out various sizes in front of him as if it would help illustrate. "...E...mu? Emusque." He nodded assertively.

He eased out a breath. How to gather thoughts and render this in a way a young man could perceive? (And they wonder why things get obscured over time.) "Okay--let's go back--back before the emus. The emus are the moral of the story!" If you can even follow his madness, but was it any worse than the jumpy folklore? "Back to the gods, the goddesses, and the cow. An cheater accuses others, and a cow turns other people into them." Because that makes perfect sense. "Now fully aware of these other realms, the bickerings of the gods began to bleed into them. There was a vengeful wife among them which Jack had fled from earlier before falling asleep, who found her godly husband with another. Turning his lover into a heifer, she sold it to the angriest, partially-bald giant. An exploring Jack was the one to discover the misplaced affair. Consorting closely with animals, he unraveled the story from a very distressed cow. What was Jack to do?"

Hey, for once maybe he didn't blow it up. Maybe. Regardless, he paused enough for his diatribe to be absorbed, and for him to garner Gabe's reaction with a glance. He was wondering if any miscellanious ends had been drawn. You know. Beyond "Jack".

Draeval tilted his head and chuckled, "Luci..." But he didn't say anything else, he'd let the cow go, for now. He's still munching, not getting petted but still munching. There is a lot of talking, and sadly sometimes Drae can tend to uh uh uh zone out. He's doing alright here though because it's interesting.

Though the jacking something gets a reward of a muffled snort, muffled because his muzzle is working on munching lamb. And then somewhere between cows and gods he blinked and looked up. "Io." OH! He did know a myth or two, maybe he wasn't so far from the world out in the wilds? Or maybe he really did like cows.

Gabriel is just listening to the story, though it's becoming increasingly hard to follow. The mention of jacking something has Gabe looking startled, "No way!" It's not that he's disagreeing, it's most that he's saying something out of surprise. The story continues on, and it's becoming more and more crazy. "I think you're getting confused. That part with the cow is Io and Jupiter, like Draeval says, that's not even part of Jack and the Beanstalk, at least not any part that I ever heard." He's confused too, "And Emus? I thought it was supposed to be a goose with a golden egg." Though he might be mixing up his stories then, "Or is that the hair in this story?" And speaking of that hair, who looked at hair and thought 'Oh, I think I'll steal that.'? If anything, this story was kind of making Gabe worried about what the payment would be. "You didn't kill poor Io did you?" He knows how Luci is with cows, and he's given up any sort of pretending to know that this story isn't about Luci. "No...you were supposed to fight Argus and that's how you got your peacock feathers." If it's those types of myth's Gabriel has them down. His eyes go a little bit wide though, "Argus was a giant!" Maybe it did all tie in together, somehow.

Luci had to pause, blinking at Draeval. "...Huh." He was... honestly surprised at that whippiness, by the sound of it. Then Gabriel earned an odd look. "...Who are you correcting? Are you sure you don't have it messed up?" He half-demanded. "Just wait till I'm done!"

"Jack returned to the cow's lover to tell him of what had happened. He could end up starting war over a cow if he acted wrong, best be sure! But Zeus considered it an emergency of utmost urgency. Jack was sent back, only to find that despite his ninja-ways, he had been spotted. The treasured cow was hidden deep inside a... maze of safes. ...Saves. Saves? Safes." He struggled with both illustrative wording and modern english grammar, squinting at the oddity of it before shaking the thought away and moving on. "He was no simple poor boy, though. In fact, he'd made work of finding how these giants worked. He knew well the ways of breaking their locks. Think of the biggest, meanest, greediest giant you can imagine. At the center there's... ah... magical farm?" He tilted his head.

"Yes! The talking cow woman, and the magical-birds. They'll tell you they're hens with golden eggs. Yeah. That's what they want you to think."

He continued on, "Layer after layer was broken through. One room threw arrows, and another tried to crush him. One shot flames rivaling the fire of olympus. One room... smelled funny and tried to gas him out. Then he could hear her baying. She had to be close. He cracked the next lock."

He paused, holding up his hands. "Now let me ask you this. Do you know how they make hens lay eggs?" He queried briefly. "They let them know the roosters strut nearby, but they never let them get the cocks." Classy, Luci. Classy. "Did you know birds have pheremones too? They don't smell so nice en mass. I say emus as they are larger, more raptorine, and ultimately, well... they've been known to do... things." He rubbed his forehead. "So let's just say there's about... fifty emus. There had to be at least. A hundred magic emus that laid eggs comparable to dragon magic." Because that analogy made sense, right? Trying to simplify could make all the more awkward.

"...Jack never ran like that in his life. He ran all the way out of the maze. The fact that Jack was fond of feathers probably didn't help. Jack tried to run right back to the cosmic tree but he ran into the biggest, angriest lumberjack. Lumber...giant. He had a feeling Jack was running that way. And he was watching in every single direction. I mean every single direction. He had more eyes than a gorgon!" He cringed. "Jack couldn't attack in any way. He had to charm the beast to sleep. He dared not cut down that tree. Instead, it fell drastically and far, with him all... epic and posed atop it as they landed. ...Then Jack had to climb back up the tree.

"Jack forgot about the emus."

"...Do you realize what would have happened if Jack hadn't kept trying to go and steal something stupid like hairs?"

Draeval had drawn a pause from Luci and he gave a smile, "I told ya I like cowz damnit." What?! He only knew a little about a lot of things, just enough to keep people guessing and to keep himself in a constant state of trouble. He's finished with his food and the bowl is completely clean, but he's moving to aim for Gabe's lap. Nuzzling at him and tugging, come on Gabe let the tingly wolf into your lap. Or...don't because that could get awkward.

He was still listening and epically confused but still listening.

Gabriel just cringed and just...curled on himself. "...sorry." He won't interrupt anymore, in fact, even though he is listening, he's got nothing to add to the ending but, "Then what happened?" He's got questions, but he's not even asking them anymore, and at Luci's final question, Gabriel would shake his head, "No, I don't." His voice is still quiet though, and then Draeval is trying to get into his lap, and he'll allow it, even if he is all sparking and weird. It was something to hide behind anyway. It definitely felt weird, but for now he was trying to ignore it. He doesn't wrap his arms around Draeval, mostly because he's still got his arms wrapped around himself.

(Back to fone. This'll take longer) He swung his legs to the back, standing again. "Jack could have left the hidden world alone. But without those hairs, athena would have never created mythril mesh. Without the mesh, ares would not have sent him for a more powerful explosive, wherein jack would have never stolen from their emuhens and encouraged the giants to seal away their magic beasts. ((hold on, getting dragged into another convo irl. Pt 2 will come soon i just dont want my phone to eat this part.))

without finding higher music, jack would have never invented the instrument which, later given to another, led to the rise of the muses. without the muses, fewer divine ideas reached men, as these inspirations aforesaid; be that for better or worse, jack would not have been spotted and identified. Without running any of these offerings, jack wouldn't have had to run around the cosmic tree multiple times only to be--" his mouth ran for a few seconds, all covered by an extended censor beep as he waved his arms about, "-ed by a bunch of emus. why? Because jack let an old cow realize she could hide a heifer under guard that jack's mischief erected. Jack could have accepted that sleeping in the clouds was surprisingly comfortable and supportive, but instead, jack was stuck chasing his (beeeeep) father's heifer to be (beeeeep)ed by magic emus. Jack wouldn't be the laughing stock of olympus as the origin of the wild goose chase, which was in fact a wild emu chase." he paused, swpept back his hair as he calmed -

and threw on his patent grin. "jack wouldnt have had to apologize to the original cow, either though. A hundred magic eyes were applied to a beautiful creature, and something new was made." he paused, then furrowed his brows. "Wait, i just made something good out of that. I'm bad about that, aren't i? Making good out of the bad." he blathered briefly. "...ahem. You know what? (bleeeeeeep,)" exaggerated waving, "-ed by emus versus a cloud bed. Stop while you're ahead." he folded his arms and nodded sagely.

Gabriel is getting ranted at by Luci, about emu's and clouds and things he never ever wanted to think about doing with emus, and that was only what he was guessing at judging by the censorship. "..." He's honestly got no idea what to say to any of that, and he's just left there blinking stupidly. "Um....kay." You've just lost him, but he has another question. "So...all those old stories, are they all...wrong?" And he really doesn't want to, but he'll ask, "And how much do I owe you?" Not that he even wanted to pay for that story, which the ending of didn't make much sense. He's already reaching off into nothingness to pull out his checkbook. Asa was definitely going to kill him for this one...

"What makes any wrong? Jack's actions traded a cow to a tree." he continued to riddle. "Priceless eggs were brought back. A lyre gave him away. A giantess protected him due to his charms. He climbed the tree many times. The giant fell and died to a small and seemingly harmless foe. I could have been all dramatic and made jack out like gandalf, but the story was long enough. If you see io of it, was it different than you knew? Did he not slay a giant and create a peacock? Have you never heard of the golden hairs? Were woes not both brought and answered by jack in both tales? The only difference is the perspectives. It's a bit odd that you're so shocked. How many would mock you that the great gods odin and horus are the terrible demon king asmodeus? Their stories are parallel, yet vary." he spoke then as he rifled through his store pockets. "Here's a hint, gabriel. The dead don't have much to pay me with. Messengers get shoddy tips. I barter to live as I am and do. Tell me what my time is worth, and -

allot me payment however you see fit. Although you may have had a different moral than you wanted. I said i was bad with morals. there was one i forgot to say I'm good with: understanding that perception can be flawed. It seems even you have room to still grow in that field. ...i wonder what fertile ground would do for d." he thought aloud to himself. "...then again, that's discontinued product for a while." he ho'ed and hummed, sorting his ideas and supplies.

Gabriel is just snapped at again, and at this point he's starting to wonder why he'd even bothered with a hello. "I didn't ask for a moral, I asked for a bedtime story. I'd say the agreement was met." All he'd really learned from that was...Luci was even more fond of the name Jack than he realized, and...not to put any emus in the temple. Luci wants money though, and Gabriel just looks at his checkbook. Too little and Luci was insulted, too much could also be taken as an insult too. He's feeling mildly panicked, maybe a slight anxiety attack was coming on. He didn't even have Draeval to hide behind anymore. He's stalling for time, "W-who do I make the check out to?" Luci did have way more names than any one person should.

SKA-DOOSH!

Six colorful equines and one small dragon appearified with a brilliant and very magical flash of light and accompanying percussive sound effect in some random part of the town square, drawing strange looks from whatever disposable and poorly-imagined non-player-characters may or may not have happened to be nearby at the time.

The ponies fell from a few feet in the air and collapsed, forming a small, adorable, marshmallow pastel pony pile in the road.

"Uuugghh... what - what happened?" asked the bottom-most pony, a lavender unicorn with a dark purple mane. She started to squirm out from underneath her friends.

A bright pink pony with a slightly less bright pink mane had already recovered and was bouncing in a circle around the others.

"Oh Twilight, you big silly! Another messed-up teleportation spell again? BORRR-IIING!" Her face split with an enormous and ridiculous grin on the last syllable.

"I mean really, that's such a cliche - HEY! Where are we?! Come on, let's explore!"

The pink pony ran-hopped in place, wearing a huge smile, while she waited for her friends to recover from the shock of the spell.

"Oh man, that... that, was, AWESOME!"

A light blue pony with a rainbow-colored mane and tail - and wings - leapt up and flew around in vertical circles to emphasize her enjoyment. She settled down and hovered a few feet above the group, flapping her wings to stay stationary.

"Your tele-whatever spells are the best, Twilight! What a rush!" She pumped a hoof in the air.