I've had this question for a very long time, and even after years I've never really been able to find an answer to it. Sometimes when I RP, it can be weeks before I get another reply, and I tend to get worried, even though I know that's not really my place 😅
So I wanted to ask, how much checking in on your RP partners would you think is too much? I usually let the spaces get longer over time, like a week and then a month, and even then, I usually only check in like twice before I stop. Still, I can't help but feel like I'm being overbearing. I don't want to rush anyone or make them feel bad for not responding, I'm just genuinely concerned, so I just want to let them know I guess that I'm thinking about them and I hope they're doing well!
Also, sort of piggybacking off of my other question, what do you think is the best way to go about asking someone if they'd like to end the RP? I prefer direct communication, so when RP partners disappear, I sometimes wonder if they actually just don't want to continue the RP. A little insecure of me, I know, but honestly it's not just that. I feel like I might be helping to alleviate some of my partners' real life stress by just telling them we can revisit later if they want, but I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for them to respond or like I'm annoyed with them! So is there like a good way of doing that?
So I wanted to ask, how much checking in on your RP partners would you think is too much? I usually let the spaces get longer over time, like a week and then a month, and even then, I usually only check in like twice before I stop. Still, I can't help but feel like I'm being overbearing. I don't want to rush anyone or make them feel bad for not responding, I'm just genuinely concerned, so I just want to let them know I guess that I'm thinking about them and I hope they're doing well!
Also, sort of piggybacking off of my other question, what do you think is the best way to go about asking someone if they'd like to end the RP? I prefer direct communication, so when RP partners disappear, I sometimes wonder if they actually just don't want to continue the RP. A little insecure of me, I know, but honestly it's not just that. I feel like I might be helping to alleviate some of my partners' real life stress by just telling them we can revisit later if they want, but I don't want to seem like I'm fishing for them to respond or like I'm annoyed with them! So is there like a good way of doing that?
Ah, Yikes! I keep circling back to this question myself, just like you I sometimes over think that someone isn't interested anymore if they haven't responded in awhile. (Personally for me its due to me being unemployed and having too much free time on my hands, so sometimes I forget that not everyone has as much free time like I do.) Recently I've found myself checking in whenever I notice it's been awhile, usually it's something basic and to the point. (But gentle just in case they're going through something and RPing isn't a priority at the moment.) As for how many times I check in/when I stop checking in? Is whenever they ask me not to/they aren't interested anymore. (That's only happened like once for me though.)
As for your other question regarding. I usually prefer direct communication as well, personally I give my reason for wanting to end the plot. I make sure to be polite so the chance of them assuming it's a personal thing is as low as possible. Sometimes I offer to end the roleplay because the other person is stressed irl and in my mind our silly-goofy lil roleplay is adding to the stress, but depending on how much we vibed OOC. I keep the DMs open, just in case one day they'd like to return to it. (Which is at least easy for me since I tend to make characters specific for that exact plot/person that I wouldn't use elsewhere. But I'm aware that's not always the case for everyone.)
I'm not sure if this answers your question at all, but just know that you're only human and it's normal to feel those things.
As for your other question regarding. I usually prefer direct communication as well, personally I give my reason for wanting to end the plot. I make sure to be polite so the chance of them assuming it's a personal thing is as low as possible. Sometimes I offer to end the roleplay because the other person is stressed irl and in my mind our silly-goofy lil roleplay is adding to the stress, but depending on how much we vibed OOC. I keep the DMs open, just in case one day they'd like to return to it. (Which is at least easy for me since I tend to make characters specific for that exact plot/person that I wouldn't use elsewhere. But I'm aware that's not always the case for everyone.)
I'm not sure if this answers your question at all, but just know that you're only human and it's normal to feel those things.
AnonCarp wrote:
Ah, Yikes! I keep circling back to this question myself, just like you I sometimes over think that someone isn't interested anymore if they haven't responded in awhile. (Personally for me its due to me being unemployed and having too much free time on my hands, so sometimes I forget that not everyone has as much free time like I do.) Recently I've found myself checking in whenever I notice it's been awhile, usually it's something basic and to the point. (But gentle just in case they're going through something and RPing isn't a priority at the moment.) As for how many times I check in/when I stop checking in? Is whenever they ask me not to/they aren't interested anymore. (That's only happened like once for me though.)
As for your other question regarding. I usually prefer direct communication as well, personally I give my reason for wanting to end the plot. I make sure to be polite so the chance of them assuming it's a personal thing is as low as possible. Sometimes I offer to end the roleplay because the other person is stressed irl and in my mind our silly-goofy lil roleplay is adding to the stress, but depending on how much we vibed OOC. I keep the DMs open, just in case one day they'd like to return to it. (Which is at least easy for me since I tend to make characters specific for that exact plot/person that I wouldn't use elsewhere. But I'm aware that's not always the case for everyone.)
I'm not sure if this answers your question at all, but just know that you're only human and it's normal to feel those things.
As for your other question regarding. I usually prefer direct communication as well, personally I give my reason for wanting to end the plot. I make sure to be polite so the chance of them assuming it's a personal thing is as low as possible. Sometimes I offer to end the roleplay because the other person is stressed irl and in my mind our silly-goofy lil roleplay is adding to the stress, but depending on how much we vibed OOC. I keep the DMs open, just in case one day they'd like to return to it. (Which is at least easy for me since I tend to make characters specific for that exact plot/person that I wouldn't use elsewhere. But I'm aware that's not always the case for everyone.)
I'm not sure if this answers your question at all, but just know that you're only human and it's normal to feel those things.
Honestly, this was such a great help! Your perspective really got me thinking and I think I might nab your methods for myself! Tsym!!! : DD
As someone who has been ghosted so many times over the years, I have ceased to be bothered by this. Usually after I reply to a DM RP, I archive the message and think no more of it. If it is active, it reappears in my inbox when it is replied to. If I really was engrossed into an RP, I may message OOC after a month or six weeks or so. That too gets archived, and if they reply great. After that though, I give them no more thought. I just look for new people to roleplay with, and new stories to write, and may at some point go through my archived inbox messages and move dead roleplays to a 'Deadpile' folder. On some rare occasions one may light up with a message, but more often than not they sit there and gather dust and cobwebs.
So to answer your question, I'd say give them a couple weeks to a month, but don't keep messaging if you don't hear back. I leave it up to them to restart contact after that.
So to answer your question, I'd say give them a couple weeks to a month, but don't keep messaging if you don't hear back. I leave it up to them to restart contact after that.
Dawnia wrote:
As someone who has been ghosted so many times over the years, I have ceased to be bothered by this. Usually after I reply to a DM RP, I archive the message and think no more of it. If it is active, it reappears in my inbox when it is replied to. If I really was engrossed into an RP, I may message OOC after a month or six weeks or so. That too gets archived, and if they reply great. After that though, I give them no more thought. I just look for new people to roleplay with, and new stories to write, and may at some point go through my archived inbox messages and move dead roleplays to a 'Deadpile' folder. On some rare occasions one may light up with a message, but more often than not they sit there and gather dust and cobwebs.
So to answer your question, I'd say give them a couple weeks to a month, but don't keep messaging if you don't hear back. I leave it up to them to restart contact after that.
So to answer your question, I'd say give them a couple weeks to a month, but don't keep messaging if you don't hear back. I leave it up to them to restart contact after that.
I've been doing something similar to that so far, but I just happen to get terribly attached to the plotlines i do : // But i think you have a good point! If they wanted to, they would, i guess? But yeah, I reckon if this happens again, I'll try out your advice!!
I know it can be tough when we get really invested into a story with a character of ours and the collaboration suddenly dries up.
I get that life happens, and have been on both sides of this. I do try and communicate should I have to step back.
Hoping you find closure, and I guess the answer to your question can be wide-ranging.
I get that life happens, and have been on both sides of this. I do try and communicate should I have to step back.
Hoping you find closure, and I guess the answer to your question can be wide-ranging.
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