Hi RPR! Just your local cryptid here to talk about selective mutism.
"What is selective mutism?" You may or may not be asking right now. Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I do have this disorder, so I'll do my best to explain it according to my own understanding and experiences.
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that causes people who are generally able to speak to be unable to do so during certain situations. For me, this usually just pertains to strangers. For example, I often can't order food/drinks in person, ask store employees for help, introduce myself, or give my information at a doctor's office. But during times of high stress or anxiety, I can't even talk to people I do know. ... And don't even get me started on phone calls. I literally can't talk on the phone, except to people I'm close with, and oftentimes not even those people.
I can't stress enough that this isn't a choice. It's not a matter of "I'm feeling anxious so I won't talk." It's "I literally can't speak right now and it's extremely stressful because I need to figure out some other way to communicate which is difficult because most people don't understand what I'm trying to say or don't realize what's going on with me."
I think selective mutism is a misleading name, since it sort of implies there is a choice... a selection. I think situational mutism is more accurate, but I didn't write the DSM, soooo... y'know.
I've had this issue for as long as I can remember, though for my entire childhood and most of my teen years, nobody knew what was going on. They would generally assume I was just shy (at best) or rudely ignoring people (at worst.) I've read that selective mutism tends to go away during the teens or adulthood, but so far, mine is sticking around...
So I'll be here to answer any questions about selective mutism, because I think it's important to raise awareness about this disorder.
Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not a professional, and also that other peoples' experiences may differ from mine, etc etc...
And now... Feel free to start asking questions
"What is selective mutism?" You may or may not be asking right now. Well, I'm not a psychologist, but I do have this disorder, so I'll do my best to explain it according to my own understanding and experiences.
Selective mutism is an anxiety disorder that causes people who are generally able to speak to be unable to do so during certain situations. For me, this usually just pertains to strangers. For example, I often can't order food/drinks in person, ask store employees for help, introduce myself, or give my information at a doctor's office. But during times of high stress or anxiety, I can't even talk to people I do know. ... And don't even get me started on phone calls. I literally can't talk on the phone, except to people I'm close with, and oftentimes not even those people.
I can't stress enough that this isn't a choice. It's not a matter of "I'm feeling anxious so I won't talk." It's "I literally can't speak right now and it's extremely stressful because I need to figure out some other way to communicate which is difficult because most people don't understand what I'm trying to say or don't realize what's going on with me."
I think selective mutism is a misleading name, since it sort of implies there is a choice... a selection. I think situational mutism is more accurate, but I didn't write the DSM, soooo... y'know.
I've had this issue for as long as I can remember, though for my entire childhood and most of my teen years, nobody knew what was going on. They would generally assume I was just shy (at best) or rudely ignoring people (at worst.) I've read that selective mutism tends to go away during the teens or adulthood, but so far, mine is sticking around...
So I'll be here to answer any questions about selective mutism, because I think it's important to raise awareness about this disorder.
Obligatory disclaimer that I'm not a professional, and also that other peoples' experiences may differ from mine, etc etc...
And now... Feel free to start asking questions
Do you have a system in place in case you have an emergency? Texting 911 (in the USA) isn't very common at most the call centers yet, so do you have an alternative way, through an app or other, to get emergency help if you need it?
DarkonDreams wrote:
Do you have a system in place in case you have an emergency? Texting 911 (in the USA) isn't very common at most the call centers yet, so do you have an alternative way, through an app or other, to get emergency help if you need it?
I suppose I'd probably just try texting somebody I know and ask them to call for help, which isn't the most guaranteed way of getting help but in the event that I didn't know what else to do, that's probably it...
I could also try calling 911; I read somewhere that they're required to trace your location and come over there, even if you can't/don't say anything?? I may be wrong though.
So now I'm going to research this. I think there are emergency numbers in my area that I could text but I'm going to need to figure that out just in case.
Thanks for bringing this up. I'm kind of embarrassed that I never even considered it before...
EDIT: There is a specific service (in Canada, at least, which is where I live- not sure about other places) for people who have hearing and/or speech impairments so that they can text 911 if needed. Apparently you have to register for it, though. So I suppose I should get on that. Just in case.
CrypticStardust wrote:
DarkonDreams wrote:
Do you have a system in place in case you have an emergency? Texting 911 (in the USA) isn't very common at most the call centers yet, so do you have an alternative way, through an app or other, to get emergency help if you need it?
I suppose I'd probably just try texting somebody I know and ask them to call for help, which isn't the most guaranteed way of getting help but in the event that I didn't know what else to do, that's probably it...
I could also try calling 911; I read somewhere that they're required to trace your location and come over there, even if you can't/don't say anything?? I may be wrong though.
So now I'm going to research this. I think there are emergency numbers in my area that I could text but I'm going to need to figure that out just in case.
Thanks for bringing this up. I'm kind of embarrassed that I never even considered it before...
No need to be embarrassed; it's part of what I do for a living and it comes up fairly often as a concern for people with different handicaps or disabilities. Especially if you have one where you can't speak under stress.
Some 911 centers do have text capability; your local PD/FD/sheriff's office could probably tell you if yours is or you could do a Google search if it's hard to talk to people about it. It's slowly becoming more common but the technology and funding tend to lag behind the realistic need. I'm also not sure where you live, so I prefaced it with the USA. It could be different in other parts of the world.
If you call 911 from a cell phone, all mobile devices are Federally mandated to be phase 2, which means they give the GPS coordinates. It's not a perfect system and sometimes the operator will need to 're-bid' the phone a time or two for the coordinates to pop up. The accuracy can vary by tower location and provider, since it's triangulating the signal. Typically, absent any additional information, police are sent to check on open 911 lines or hang-up calls. This can also vary by agency and policy due to area of jurisdiction and staffing levels.
My mind went to the idea of an app though because I'm sure you're not the first person to be confronted with this. Maybe one was created which would help you in a hypothetical emergency, if you couldn't reach someone else? Otherwise, if someone is looking for a fun coding experience... it'd be a good app for someone to make. You could also keep an air tag on you, a smart device, or some other bit of technology so it's another way to track you by a concerned party if need be. Pinging cell phones for their locations is a very mixed bag on the emergency services side.
DarkonDreams wrote:
CrypticStardust wrote:
DarkonDreams wrote:
Do you have a system in place in case you have an emergency? Texting 911 (in the USA) isn't very common at most the call centers yet, so do you have an alternative way, through an app or other, to get emergency help if you need it?
I suppose I'd probably just try texting somebody I know and ask them to call for help, which isn't the most guaranteed way of getting help but in the event that I didn't know what else to do, that's probably it...
I could also try calling 911; I read somewhere that they're required to trace your location and come over there, even if you can't/don't say anything?? I may be wrong though.
So now I'm going to research this. I think there are emergency numbers in my area that I could text but I'm going to need to figure that out just in case.
Thanks for bringing this up. I'm kind of embarrassed that I never even considered it before...
No need to be embarrassed; it's part of what I do for a living and it comes up fairly often as a concern for people with different handicaps or disabilities. Especially if you have one where you can't speak under stress.
Some 911 centers do have text capability; your local PD/FD/sheriff's office could probably tell you if yours is or you could do a Google search if it's hard to talk to people about it. It's slowly becoming more common but the technology and funding tend to lag behind the realistic need. I'm also not sure where you live, so I prefaced it with the USA. It could be different in other parts of the world.
If you call 911 from a cell phone, all mobile devices are Federally mandated to be phase 2, which means they give the GPS coordinates. It's not a perfect system and sometimes the operator will need to 're-bid' the phone a time or two for the coordinates to pop up. The accuracy can vary by tower location and provider, since it's triangulating the signal. Typically, absent any additional information, police are sent to check on open 911 lines or hang-up calls. This can also vary by agency and policy due to area of jurisdiction and staffing levels.
My mind went to the idea of an app though because I'm sure you're not the first person to be confronted with this. Maybe one was created which would help you in a hypothetical emergency, if you couldn't reach someone else? Otherwise, if someone is looking for a fun coding experience... it'd be a good app for someone to make. You could also keep an air tag on you, a smart device, or some other bit of technology so it's another way to track you by a concerned party if need be. Pinging cell phones for their locations is a very mixed bag on the emergency services side.
And I updated my original reply with a little bit more information that I found by googling
Hi! When we were little after my grandfather passed, my sister developed selective mutism as a coping mechanism. She would only talk to my parents, me, and a few of her friends. Other family members, teachers at school, strangers etc. were all people she couldn't speak to. It eventually resolved with therapy and time. So I understand to some extent how frustrating it is to not be able to speak especially when you wish you could, having witnessed it up close.
What is the one thing you would want from people to make your life easier with selective mutism?
What is the one thing you would want from people to make your life easier with selective mutism?
Sanne wrote:
Hi! When we were little after my grandfather passed, my sister developed selective mutism as a coping mechanism. She would only talk to my parents, me, and a few of her friends. Other family members, teachers at school, strangers etc. were all people she couldn't speak to. It eventually resolved with therapy and time. So I understand to some extent how frustrating it is to not be able to speak especially when you wish you could, having witnessed it up close.
What is the one thing you would want from people to make your life easier with selective mutism?
What is the one thing you would want from people to make your life easier with selective mutism?
I want people to understand that I'm not choosing this, not doing it on purpose. I'm not trying to be rude, ignore people, or make things difficult. Like, c'mon people, I'm not doing this for funsies... It isn't fun.
I've had a lot of experiences with people getting frustrated, or even angry, because they think I'm just refusing to speak on purpose, and when people get like that with me it makes my anxiety even worse, making me shut down even more...
I mean, I know many people aren't aware that selective mutism exists, so I don't expect them to magically understand everything I'm going through, but a little patience and understanding go a long way.
How has having this disorder affected your writing?
lowlaville wrote:
How has having this disorder affected your writing?
CrypticStardust wrote:
I think selective mutism is a misleading name, since it sort of implies there is a choice... a selection. I think situational mutism is more accurate, but I didn't write the DSM, soooo... y'know.
Thank you so much, I thought these were two different conditions because of the name. I'm so glad you fixed that misapprehension for me.
Kim wrote:
CrypticStardust wrote:
I think selective mutism is a misleading name, since it sort of implies there is a choice... a selection. I think situational mutism is more accurate, but I didn't write the DSM, soooo... y'know.
Thank you so much, I thought these were two different conditions because of the name. I'm so glad you fixed that misapprehension for me.
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