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Forums » Smalltalk » AMA: Living Homeless

Sorry! Know this is super late but things are hectic right now, as the title suggests. I feel Iike this a situation most don't fully understand or have ever experienced so might be interesting?

To begin with, I've been on the street for 1 year now. Crazy and depressing yet oddly fascinating. I didn't get here by choice either. Since 2020, life has taken a drastic spiral downwards from 911 calls, near death of the grandmother I used to live with, loss of jobs, and toxic relationships which all eventually ended in homelessness.

Thankfully my mother and I still have a truck to keep us out of the elements...mostly. We started with 3 cats but are down to 1. One cat was stolen and the other adopted out since he was stressing bad. The last has adapted well to truck life and is a very happy girl. Anyway, we both managed to find jobs but trying to save for and apply for housing alongside of ensuring the truck is running has been very challenging. Learning to live without everyday luxuries has been a challenge too!

One thing living without a home has done is opened our eyes to things we never noticed before. But I've rambled enough. Questions? :3
Auberon Moderator

First of all, as someone who has been homeless before, you have my heartfelt empathy. I hope that you're able to get back into more stable and permanent housing as soon as possible!

Here are a few questions:

- Do you have any advice for someone facing homelessness? Survival tips, etc.

- What helps you stay motivated to keep going despite your circumstances? What brings you joy?

- Are there any social safety net services or supports that you're able to access to get help?

- How does being homeless impact your management of your Celiac disease (mentioned over in my thread)?
Kim Site Admin

Ignore me if this is too heavy, but -- Do people treat you like you're a human right now?
Sanne Moderator

What's the most helpful thing people can do to support you and people in your position?
LunarValravn Topic Starter

Auberon wrote:
First of all, as someone who has been homeless before, you have my heartfelt empathy. I hope that you're able to get back into more stable and permanent housing as soon as possible!

Thanks! I certainly hope to find a place soon too. The search has been rough.

Auberon wrote:
- Do you have any advice for someone facing homelessness? Survival tips, etc.

Survival Tips
1. Getting a job should be priority. If you have a job, you can save and ensure you have food instead of begging or always hoping for someone to be gracious. (It's doesn't occur often) Problem is you need an address. A homeless shelter could provide you with an address but, due to the stigma on homeless people, jobs often reject applications just by having a homeless shelter address. If you have supportive friends or family, see if you can borrow their address or stay with them. If that's not an option, get a UPS box. It looks like an official address, unlike a P.O Box, and can get you far. It costs around $100-200 but you only pay for it once every 3-6 months.

2. Stock up on warm blankets and clothing for the winter. With enough, you can successfully keep yourself warm. Take advantage of stores to warm up too but most places don't like it if you stay long unless you work there or buy something.

3. Take advantage of stores to cool off in the summer. Most times you won't have that and will be stuck in the heat for long hours. Best to find shady places to rest. Some restaurants, like Burger King, offer free water and ice.

4. Stay alert. There are other homeless and desperate people out there who will take advantage of you. Keep an eye out for stalkers and even "flags" on your vehicle. Homeless are seen as the "best" targets to rob even if they don't have much. Not every homeless person is bad though and some can become good friends and support.

5. Get to know the local homeless. There are more homeless out there than people realize and many will have advice to help you out or even be willing to help protect you. Just remember to use discretion to decide who is friend and who is trouble.

6. Asking permission goes a long way. People are going to chase you off and call the cops regardless but if you ask a church, business, etc if you can sleep in the parking lot, you'll find your less apt to be chased off. It's also wise to have to have multiple places to sleep.

7. Do your best to maintain hygiene. Baby wipes will be your friend. Truck stops or gyms provide showers for a fee. Gyms are more affordable. Cleaning out the vehicle regularly is advised too.

8. Save every penny you can. Life will always through something at you. If you have money saved, it will help in tough times.

9. Buy battery packs and know where to charge electronics. From phones to fans, you will need tech but without a house, charging is a chore. Coffee shops are a good place to relax and charge. Try not to charge off your car too often. It can burn out your alternator. (Learned the hard way)

10. Homeless shelters can be dangerous. I've heard from many homeless and former homeless to avoid the shelters. Rape, theft, beatings, and other violent crimes can be common there. One guy said he just saved enough to finally get off the street but when he returned to the shelter to fill out the paperwork and hand over the money, he was mugged and lost all his savings.

Auberon wrote:
- What helps you stay motivated to keep going despite your circumstances? What brings you joy?

Uuuuh...this is actually a tricky one. I kinda take each day as it comes, going through the motions really. Perhaps there's still a sliver of hope of creating video games or having a ranch but...would have to say my mother and cat are probably my strongest motivation to keep going.

As for what brings me joy? My cat. She's the cutest little floof, yelling at me cause I was at work too long, poking her head out a window like a dog to say hi, cuddles and purrs. Without her, I would be a mess.
Auberon wrote:
- Are there any social safety net services or supports that you're able to access to get help?

This is something that's area specific. Homeless shelters demand you live and work in the city they service. No pets too. I have called all the homeless aid services for the area I am in but they only help homeless veterans, drug addicts, or alcoholics. That may be different for other locations. Tried applying for food stamps and financial aid but so far have been denied cause they can't "confirm my identity". Considering I'm not registered as a member of this state yet (I lived in a different state until losing the house) I think that might be the issue. Will be changed soon though.
Auberon wrote:
- How does being homeless impact your management of your Celiac disease (mentioned over in my thread)?

It's a mess! Like you, I used to cook all my meals from scratch. Without a kitchen, I must buy pre-made from the stores. Most of what's available for processed foods I can't eat or is contaminated. Additives derived from wheat, barley, rye, and corn such as Dextrose, Glucose Syrup, Xantham Gum, etc do hurt me and that's in everything, leaving me with a very monotonous diet.

I also work at a restaurant (been trying to find a non-food based job) and am exposed to gluten regularly. Being touch sentive to gluten makes this job very dangerous but I always wear gloves. Thankfully my managers are understanding and won't train me for board (burger making) to avoid handling more bread. Sadly, my health has degraded to the point I probably should see a doctor but...finances stand in the way.
LunarValravn Topic Starter

Kim wrote:
Ignore me if this is too heavy, but -- Do people treat you like you're a human right now?

That's hardly heavy to me. It depends. Some people do and I appreciate it! Then there's others who only see scum. It's one thing getting the disgusted looks or insults but then there's those who you talk to and everything is fine. They might even really respect you UNTIL they learn your homeless. Suddenly they are a pompous cloud sniffer Karen who won't give you the time of day or will insist you must work 24/7 without breaks. At worst, people are keen to say we should "be worried about our health and safety" while trying to offer us homes filled with roaches, bedbugs, and black mold 'pouring' down the walls and from broken windows. These aren't free either! Rent is still $800+. No thanks...I'm not that desperate.
LunarValravn Topic Starter

Sanne wrote:
What's the most helpful thing people can do to support you and people in your position?

It's tough to narrow it down to just one thing really. In gist, is the little things. Here's what I've found has been very helpful.

1. Help finding housing. Be it leads or being a voice to help convince landlords to let us in, this is HUGE! The housing market is rough and we often exhaust and burn ourselves out trying to find a new home. Not only that but finding housing is harsh, especially online.

2. Vehicle aid. Repairs are expensive and those of us with vehicles find issues and maintenance extra stressful cause the vehicle is now our livelihood. When mechanics offer to help for free or little charge, it really helps.

3. A shower and/or temporary place to stay especially for extreme temps. I get this is risky and requires discretion. For those who have offered temp housing, I've been very grateful for a moment of good, comfy sleep and a refreshing shower.

4. Donations. This only is helpful to the wise but I've found donations of money to be incredibly helpful. Through them we have been blessed with another meal despite an empty bank account, warm blankets for the winter, and even fuel.
Do you find it unhelpful / offensive if someone were to give you a meal or snacks if they might not be able to give you the things you listed?
Kim Site Admin

Thank you very much for your answers!

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