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Hey y'all, Jersey here! I probably shouldn't sound so excited about this, but I managed to give myself a concussion for reasons that are beyond stupid. Needless to say, I may be out of commission for a short while depending on how I feel in the next 12-ish hours. That's irrelevant to most of you - this next part isn't though! To try and alleviate some of my boredom while I wait, I've decided to pose a question to y'all:

What is your most embarrassing injury story?

I'll start with one of mine, though it doesn't quite fit 'injury' as it does 'clumsy, stubborn idiot'.

A few years back I was hanging around with some friends, enjoying some smokes and drinks. My friend S, whose house it was, had somehow obtained the largest grapes I have ever seen. To this day I still can't find any that compare. I, the intelligent human being I am, decided I could swallow one whole - and against my friends' advice, at that.

Well, it didn't turn out so well. Apparently the universal sign for choking comes naturally, and I fought them off as they tried to come to my aid. After a short while I coughed it up myself, but all the while I had been thinking: "Is this it? Is that how my life is going to end? Will my headstone be a reminder to not eat grapes whole? Can they publish such stupidity in obituaries?"

Obviously I'm fine, but it's an embarrassing story I enjoy breaking out sometimes. People are infallible and lord knows I'm one of them.

Are any of you clumsy, infallible or otherwise a complete idiot like myself? I'd love to hear what y'all gotta say!

- j
Heh, I choked on watermelon. Freaking watermelon. And because it was during a contest that I didn't want to ruin, I did my absolutely best to hide that I was choking. Luckily, my gag reflex eventually managed to force it loose before I ran out of oxygen.

I also once ran myself over with a fourwheeler. I'd been riding it just lung enough to gain a little confidence, went over a bump awkwardly, and slid off the seat. It stopped on my leg and a dude had to come push it off. While my mom was freaking out and wondering if my leg was broke (it wasn't), I was just laughing and laughing... But jeez the bottle cap I stepped on a few minutes later hurt.
Kim Site Admin

I live in an apartment building that you have to buzz visitors in to. A friend of mine was supposed to stop by to drop off some portable speakers for a performance I was going to be doing the following day. He called up to say that he was here but the buzzer box wasn't working. I said I would go down to let him in.

As I opened the door of my apartment, he was on the other side (another resident had left the building and opened the door for him) but I was SO NOT EXPECTING someone to be there that I jumped several feet into the air and then fell backward, slamming my knee into the edge of the door and giving myself a serious limp for days. The bruise took months to heal.

(I did manage to get through the performance, although I probably screwed my knee up more pretending I was okay while I was on stage!!)
When I was a wee bit younger, I was at a friend's house, and they were putting a fence around their pool. If you aren't familiar with that process, it involves digging holes about a foot in diameter that are three feet deep or so everywhere that you want one of the main posts to be. So, naturally, on a dare I (being a rather skinny kid) dropped myself into the hole. While the drop itself offered me no injuries, I suddenly discovered that I was stuck. And after a few moments, I learned that I had chosen probably the only hole there was that had a fire ant nest in the bottom of it. So, after much ado about my being stuck, I was released from the hole, covered in fire ants.

The swelling didn't go down for a month, and I was in pain for that whole time.

Also, one time I nearly fell to my death in a concrete drainage ditch with a road overpass (I jumped off the overpass) and that resulted in a sprained ankle and a lot of limping for the next weeks.
Well there was this one time me and my step brother where outside playing star war with out lightsabers when i decided " hey why not climb this tree and hang upside down to act like he threw me into the tree,," So there i was hanging upside down maybe a food half foot off the ground my lightsaber on the ground under me.. I then proceeded to swing myself up to grab hold of another branch to get myself down... But next thing i know i hit the ground and land right on top of my lightsaber hilt.
When I was really young, I was laying in bed, waiting for my mother to come turn out the light. But she was taking forever, so I decided I was going to get up and go find her.

But my legs were tangled in my blankets and I hit the hardwood floor with my face. So I laid there for a moment to get my breath back and then tried to hurry and stand up...

At which point I heard a *SNAP*. My elbow had been wedged beneath my door and I managed to break my arm. x.x

P.S. Hope you are alright!!
MelTheObserver

When I was in Girl Scouts my troop would always meet up at a church. One day there wasn't anything going on at the meeting so we decided to play hide and seek. Well, we all made the smart decision to hide in the same spot. The seeker found us so we all started dashing for base- the hallway water fountain on the second floor. We were outside.

The whole troop climbed up a vine fence planter connected to the wall. We then proceeded to climb into the nursery window where I hit my head on a bookshelf and got a concussion. Luckily it wasn't major, but a few days later I split my leg open trying to jump over a brick wall, during a game of HIDE AND SEEK.


I hate that game to this day.
Ilmarinen Moderator

In my closet I have those wire shelves that you cut to size at the hardware store. They WARN you that the cut places are sharp, and that you're supposed to but caps on the points. I thought I was just too dang good for that. One night before bed I decided to prance into my closet for something and stumbled a little bit...

And that's how I ended up with 8 stitches on my nipple.
PANGAEA

Well I'll share something that could've 'should've' gotten me killed.

I was a few good years younger and I was skating, playing tag with a bunch of kids including me brother. I was it and I was angry because I was it for a long time. So, what do I do? Well, first I found a reason to go up the street where I threw a bit of a tantrum before I skated down the road and purposely hit a truck. (I still question my logic till this day) I had hit it so hard that I swore if I hit it a bit harder, my knees would have bent in a way they weren't supposed to. Truck stops (dude wasn't really moving when I hit him) and I was under it then everyone came to see if I was ok. It was exactly where I wanted them: in arm's reach. In the midst of this I was feigning tears like a boss, it really did hurt the I was helped up, tagged that sucker and I was off. It was a sort of lopsided skating though, my knees had still hurt.

It was too bad I ticked off the driver.
Auberon Moderator

A long time ago, in 2008, I was super duper excited for Thanksgiving leftovers. Lil' miss Corvus was impatient, and I ate mashed potatoes right out of the microwave. As it turns out, they were too hot to eat still. The pain triggered a vasovagal response, and I rushed to the sink to attempt to scoop water into my mouth. I fainted, smacked the back of my skull on the bathtub, and suffered from a severe concussion. I was plagued with dizzy spells and seizures for about a month after it happened. :B
rule-63 Topic Starter

Ah man, looks like we're a clumsy bunch indeed! Glad (and maybe just a liiiittle surprised) we've all made it this far ;p

As for me, I've got enough time to tell another one of these stories before I start cooking dinner. As an aside, this concussion is kicking my ass so bear with some weird phrasing if you can - head injuries and I are way too familiar with one another.

Once upon a time there was a tiny man who didn't like waking up early. High school was horrifically boring and lacked any sort of challenge. Being the asshole teenager this tiny man was, he never showed up.

Soon, with promises of AP classes and college credits, he had to make a decision. And so he woke up, two miles away from his bus stop with only five minutes to get ready, leave the house and get on the bus. He rushed and rushed, but even with all his planning he'd forgotten something. Tiny man has neither memory nor depth perception. He opened the front door to leave. When he took that first step outside, there was a rather striking realization: he'd forgotten his glasses.

Needless to say, he didn't make it to school that day. He walked into the door before it was fully open and subsequently broke his gigantic nose, effectively painting the deck and mud room in blood. He decided to just spend two weeks getting his GED instead.


And that's how my truant ass ended up at a hippie college in VT for natural resource management and environmental science.

Conservative parents beware: the danger of not wearing glasses is real. You too could end up with an obnoxious tree-hugger at your family gatherings.

And that's about all the typing I can manage. Some more reading couldn't hurt though ;).
I grew up on a ranch. One day, an excitable ten-year-old me was playing in one of the stables when my older sister came in to feed the horses. She told me that I shouldn't be playing around and that I was going to get hurt. Me, being young and stubborn and quite convinced that I was a superhero, decided to tell her that she was stupid and I was going to keep spending time with the new horse. Then I woke up in a helicopter, blacked out, and woke up again in a hospital with stitches holding my skull closed. Haw haw haw.

One CAT scan and a little therapy proved that there was, thankfully, nothing else wrong with my brain. I made a full recovery and had no medical issues to prevent me from joining the military eight years later. There's a hoof-shaped dent in my skull that's hidden by hair though. I like to terrify people/not make friends sometimes by tricking them into feeling it. If that small section of my head gets hit I feel like I'm going to die. Oh, kids.
i forgot about Red rover... it was banned from one of my schools after i knocked one of the kids down and my teeth managed to slice his arm open. to this day i don't remember it happening... i remember slamming into there arms then nothing i must have blacked out or something. but my mom said both of us where n the floor screaming.
My family and I were going to park a few years back. My brother snd I went up this really really big hill. My brother told me go first and I did...at first it fun until I started going down really fast. Then my bike started getting wobbly and BAM! There goes the skin on my shoulders and knees.


This is why we use brakes kids...

There was a group of kids and a woman who saw me fall and asked my if I was okay. My dad came and got me after my epic biking fail! XD I was lucky to of not hit my head because I was even wearing a helmet when it happened.
There's one that I was sort of involved in, but I wasn't the one injured, and it was nothing serious... could have been much, much worse.

Some years ago, my family lived on a hill in a place too small to even call a town (only business in the area was a golf course), and my grandpa was living with us at the time. We had one of those red radio flyer wagons, and my grandpa got this idea to have us (brothers and me) pile in with him and ride it down the hill. Thing sounded like a race car going down the road, and grandpa used his feet as brakes. Luckily, we never got hit by a car, crashed into the row of mailboxes, or lost control of the wagon - but grandpa did get some serious hotfoot.

And yes, this happened multiple times. XD
Chris_Pike

When I was little, I remember finding a knife and sliding my thumb across it like cartoon characters did...suffice to say, cartoon characters are not real and are therefore immune to injuries, suffice to say I did cut my finger open, and suffice to say my parents were less then impressed at the time, and I am still kicking myself for being so idiotic XD
Hello so my silly injuries is Bruning myself on hot glue I was glueing a button on a jar and my slow self was like wait I need to fix it so I touch the glue and boom thst was hot and the bad thing is I did it twice...
So when I was a kid, probably around 6 years old, I liked to think of my self as one of the big kids. As you see I have two older brothers and at the time all but 2 of my cousins were older then me (much has changed now!). So I always wanted to be a big kid like them, so I tried to do big kid things.

Like one time my mom had.just finished making chicken and fries for dinner, which she had deep fried in a pan on the stove. I of course having been and still being a suckered for French fries I asked for more. My mom told me there was no more and the pan was empty. But my child brain logic was that this was the same thing as when she said there was no candy and there actually was. So you know what I did? I grabbed the handle of that pan I couldn't really see on top of the stove and I tried to lift it. The next 20 minutes consisted of hot oil down my arm and screaming followed by my mom rushing me to the children's hospital. Luckily the oil wasn't too hot and I didn't suffer any severe burns or permanent damage.

And one other time, I decided I would help my brothers and my neighbor. You see we had an off road go cart. One of those cage carts with an engine in the back huge wheels in back tiny ones in front designed for driving off road. Which was perfect for the woods behind our house. But it needed gas, so our parents told us to move it. My neighbor who at the time was probably only about 11 told me I should just stand to the side. WELL I DIDNT LISTEN TO HER. What happened next you ask? Well I put my foot down to balance myself as we pushed it. And I was barefoot. And that back wheel which even now I'd probably have a bit of a hard time lifting went right over my 6 year old foot. I ended up crying for probably an hour and I ended up with a bruise on my foot that was the same pattern as the treds on the wheels for atleast a week.
Alright I have a few.

1. I am notorious for falling both up and down stairs. Or just falling while standing. Balance sucks. But last year I fell down some stairs and have back problems now. This year, about a year later, I fell down them again. Never went I a doctor but yep. Standing now is frustrating because it can randomly hurt so bad i gotta flop haha.

2. We have a dog. She's a husky/shepherd mix. On the day we were you g to bring her to training, she jumped on the back of my knees and caused me to face plant on the hardwood floor. I have a scar on my knee from where I skinned it haha.

3. When I was about eleven, my mom drove us further up the trailer park to visit someone. She told me to go knock and make sure he was home. So I opened the car door and slammed it and tried walking forward but my thumb was caught in the car door! To make matters worse, my little brother and mom were both battling each other over opening the door (mom was trying to unlock while brother was locking it). I was stuck with my thumb caught in the door for a while. Lol.

4. The other day I was trying to push the couch and wound up slipping and toppling over the thing. Face planted in the cushions but still managed to bite my tongue.
One time late at night while I was in my room I dragged my foot across the carpet as I was turning around, and somehow got a needle in my Big Toe on my right foot that was somehow embedded and forgotten in the carpet. I didn't know why it hurt to bend the toe-I just remember there being a sharp pain and curses shouted at the time. We looked closely at it, and saw the little metal "head" of the thing pressed up against my skin. We tried to carefully soak and pull it out, but the darn thing was broken. The head got out, but the rest of it was stuck in there.

I had impaled my toe with a sewing needle... thing, and I couldn't bend my toe--OR my foot at-all without a bolt of pain shooting through my foot. that made walking a precarious thing for a while.

A few days later (always a BAD omen hearing that phrase) I still had it in there. We were getting an appointment lined up to get it taken out at a private practice instead of going to the E.R. It cost less, and there was no "Putme under-the-knife" knockout-anesthesia involved. They used a local anesthetic instead, and I was awake the during the procedure.
I'll tell you there wasn't -pain- as they were working, but I could tell they were up to something from the little sensation of pressure down on that toe. it was wierd, and not remotely how I thought it would be. They did get it all out, leaving nothing behind and I got stuck with a foot-toe bandage-brace thing for a while after that. No infections, no long-term damage, just a needle that turned black and gritty from... well, I assume the body's attempt to attack it. I don't know.

Needless to say, we kept all those needles under lock and key after that. No sense anybody -else- should suffer the same as I did on account of negligence.

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