Forums » Smalltalk » Having a Rough Year (and kind of life)

To all that I am roleplaying with (or people who just care about this matter):

I am not going to online very often.

I am going through a rough patch. In hopes of becoming a doctor and getting a fulfilling education, I signed up for many things and currently have several personal obligations. I thought I could handle it all. I was very wrong and learning it the hard way. To top the freezer-burnt life sundae with a final cherry, I learned a lot about myself this year. I knew I had depression, but recently I started feeling different and had difficulty with things I have always done. My doctor believes I have Asperger's. I am getting a psychosocial evalution next year.

But my main issue is the amount of stress I have. I just have too much going on and I can't handle it. I'm sorry, but it is going to be hard to keep up with all of this. I will do my best to keep up with all the roleplays I have.

I wish you happiness and a wonderful life. I love you all.

-Mel the Obsever

*hugs* I'm sure your partners will understand. Real life is much more important to take care of. Do your best, and try to relax a bit.

And if you need to bow off some steam, I doubt anyone would mind. If you're not sure, I always welcome people to rant at me.

I sympathize deeply and I'm sorry to hear this is going on. I'm very bad with consoling people, so I apologize in advance. But you're not alone with diagnoses making an otherwise difficult situation even moreso.

I spent most of my teenaged years struggling with Bipolar I and within the last two years it has developed into full blown schizoaffective disorder. It explains a lot more than the BP diagnosis did, but it's caused me a hell of a lot more issues. Finding adequate treatment around here is very hard, especially since I have no source of income - see: diagnosis.

Bearing that last statement in mind, that is absolutely the first thing you should try and tackle. Get a second opinion if you can. One now, and one in six to nine months, especially if you're in your 20's as I am. Some illnesses present and progress quickly around this age, so it's important to try and get the most correct diagnosis of your symptoms for the best treatment.

If you do seek treatment, know your rights as a patient. These are very, very important, especially if you'll be doing any sort of inpatient treatment, but good to know anyway.

And if you choose to go the route of medication:
Not all doctors will disclose inclusive / correct information when they prescribe you something. Ask them about potential side effects, even rare ones. Research these drugs yourself before you take them so you understand the pros/cons and can decide for yourself what side effects you're okay with. The most important thing if you end up taking meds is to be patient. It took me a long time to build up the patience / med routine. Unfortunately that's no longer an option for me, but this thread's not about that so onto the next thing!

The second most important thing is dropping any stress you can from your life. I'm not saying throw your hands up and say "screw this!" to everything going on. Just get rid of things that are reasonable in the grand scheme of things / on a long term scale, ya know? I've had to put school on hold, move away from my hometown, etc... And although sometimes I get sad about it (mostly the school part, though I do miss "home"), I realize I've opened up a lot of opportunities to better myself more quickly than I have been.

My brain is still a little on the fritz from bonking my head or whatever, so I've completely forgotten where else I was going with this.

Try and find joy in everything and anything: small accomplishments, huge goals, losses that could've been worse, particularly large/old trees, the way rain evaporates off hot asphalt, internet strangers who care about your well-being, cats with extra ruffly fur, artwork that's so bad it really shouldn't be in a museum but is, hearing a stranger laugh obnoxiously in public, seeing couples who are obviously on one of their first dates because they aren't rage-eating their meals and the server who waits patiently on these people despite the obvious tension... I could go on for days about things that make me happy, but my mania is out of control so everything is super awesome in the worst way possible. That probably makes no sense.

Just remember this rough patch in your life won't be forever. I hope everything works out sooner rather than later, but please remember it will. Positive affirmations, shameless plug for Unitarian Universalism as the thing that saved my life, and give yourself some leeway. Just some. If you ever need to vent, go ahead and PM me, even if you don't want advice. Admittedly, mine is long-winded and probably not that helpful. But! Blessed be and best wishes to you and yours at this difficult time.

xx
J

That's alright, Mel. Our group can wait. The others are really chill patient people, not to speak for them or anything, but your life matters more than our RP. It's all good.