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Met Chuck Norris for a smoke break. Then I said something that made him angry, and he proceeded to...

Shoot a laser at my face. The resulting explosion was so powerful that...

In comparison, it made the Death Star look like a sparkler. With worst-case scenarios running through my head, I clutched my face, yelling...

SPAAAAAAAAACE! As I floated through space with my magic air-bubble helmet, I saw...

I saw a huge dragon that didn't look to friendly he was going to

Give me a ride back to my home. After I thanked the dragon and went back inside, I...

...descended into the basement to check the water heater, since it was making funny noises. Upon reaching the rather musty-smelling underground whose light had long been in disuse,...

...I grabbed my flashlight, just to see my water heater was replaced with a nuclear reactor, and the nuclear reactor was....

about to have a meltdown! I was so scared that I could have sworn at that moment I could piss out a chicken, but rather, I ran back up into my kitchen only to find...

the air guitar playing dog from earlier. He wasn't all too happy with his bass being stolen, and blamed me for it. He barked loudly when suddenly...

...then heavenly lights appeared from the ceiling, Ceiling Cat appeared smites the dog for not being a cat, then right after that...

the nuclear reactor goes lethal and explodes into a brilliant shower of skittles that...

gives everyone within a 100 mile radius skittle pox! Which then leads to...

a skittles epidemic and everyone...

Tries to eat themselves, but your magical unicorn comes back from fighting magic face crime and...

... dies. Everyone was sad it died but the only thing they could do was...