Forums » RP Discussion » About "heavy" topics.

I don't know what to say. I guess really this post is about me having a very bad fear of people thinking I'm either disgusting, vile, or weird to the point that I feel like I'd lose potential rp partners. Now, I'm not saying this to one particular person and I'm not generalizing the people on this site, not at all. Everyone is obviously very different. I've made a few great friends here and I love them dearly. However, I guess you could say my fear of rping things that are considered "heavy" for one or two of my characters just makes it hard to really be creative. Yeah. I don't know what to do.

I know how you feel, I do some things I feel like if I openly bring them up I would be shamed and people would slap me with the iggy stick hard

What do you mean by 'Heavy' topics?

I agree with Sketch, this is probably a place where further elaboration on your meaning is king. Are we talking big things like the atrocities of war or other big, major crimes like murder and somesuch? Or something more pertaining to the other social justice issues of today? Are we talking things like existentialism and ethics? Are we going full Metal Gear on this? Am I trying to sound smarter than I likely am? Answer: yes /DIES

Lol when I heard Social Justice Issues my mind went straight to tumblr SJW's and how atrocious the overall atmosphere of anyone who doesn't conform to their idea can really be. Anywayyyyys, I guess a bit of both? I mean, I'm talking about themes you'd find in dystopia. Things like prostitution, modern day domestic slavery, cannibalism, and other things like murder and possible (or implied) rape. Of course,none of the stuff that I mentioned here would be glorified or made into a fetish/made light of, but as far as topics go I'm very mature about rping it.

As long as you can treat issues such as these with the proper respect and gravitas as they demand, I see no issues. We're certainly not gonna demonize you for wanting to delve into the darker side, don't worry! It's when people start trying to promote an image of heavy stuff ala what we're talking about that makes far too light of them, makes it seem like it's not as bad as it really is or such that we start experiencing problems. That being said, this could well be a huge pitfall; tread carefully with what you're doing. Reread things before you post them as many times as you need in order to determine if you're going about it the right way then probably reread it some more anyways, try to consult people who can give better advice than I could probably give on these sorts of topics and yes, be mindful of anyone else involved. Done well, a story tackling dark topics can be thought-provoking and make one seriously consider the state of the world and of civilization, while done poorly it could...ah...incense people, to put it mildly - and likely not without reason either. I don't know, maybe I'm just overly cautious about this, but I always feel that when this comes up being cautious is important. Just don't feel that you have to stifle your own creativity, but do take care and make sure you're not about to walk into the darkness alone. And of course, you know we'll be here to support!

As I said, I'm always willing to take such issues and topics with respect and dignity. I don't really rp them lightly, and not often, as I'm just too afraid to even really bring them up with anyone unless I trust them enough. I guess it's just the issue of being seen as nasty or weird, but yeah. Other than that, it's up to what my rp partner wants as well. If they don't want to rp something, I'm more than willing to compromise. And thanks, I really could use support sometimes. I think I need it now more than ever since the stress in real life is effecting my feelings about how I roleplay, haha.

I'm still not sure what the question is you're asking. Is it whether you should or shouldn't RP mature topics? Is it how you should discuss these topics with potential RP partners? Or is it a moral question about how to RP these situations?

Maybe how to discuss it with others. I mean, I guess I'm saying that I'm more inclined to rping less fluffy things than some others and I don't want that to scare off people.

In that case, just be honest and up-front about it and give them options. If you only present your heavy themes, that is likely to scare off those who don't want to play them. People like choices, but I wouldn't just say "I want to play ___, but if you want to play something else that's fine too!" either. I would propose something more specific as an alternative rather than making them feel they have to do all the work of deciding what to play, just because they don't want to play the heavy themes.

If you make it clear you are open to the fluffy things if that's what they like, it makes them feel like their feelings matter too (they do!) and that has a bigger impact on maintaining friendly relationships with RP partners than just avoiding the heavy topics.

And frankly, if someone decides I'm just too creepy to RP with because I like to write erotic roleplays, even if I offer to write strict 'all ages' safe adventures with them, that's their loss. I likely wouldn't want to associate with someone who judges me based on one preference when I offer them alternatives anyway, so there's no reason to expend energy on them.

It sounds to me like all you need is a clarifying statement such as "Since this is a post-apocalyptic RP where civilization has decayed and the normal protections of law aren't in place, it's possible that themes such as X,Y and Z might come up in this RP where realistic. Are you comfortable with that, or are there topics you'd like to avoid?" You could also add "If avoid, is fade to black okay or should we just not even imply them?"

To me, this would imply respectful handling of realistic heavy themes, rather than demanding or fetishizing. Of course, it would matter how the actual RP was conducted, but this would set the stage for me to feel an in-depth story was about to be told with respect both to it and to me.

Personally, I find omitting heavy themes in settings that have been established from the get-go as very dark to be weirder than including them. Like the person is in denial or hasn't thought through the implications very thoroughly? Then I just feel awkward and wonder if I'm supposed to avoid them too, unless the ground rules are set from the get-go that someone in the RP isn't comfortable with one or more of the potential themes and we've agreed just to omit whatever it is (say, cannibalism) even if it might come up realistically in a really nasty situation.

@Kim and @Sanne, thank you guys so much. I'm taking all of this and actually writing down some of the tips you gave me so I'm able to come across clearer to people and not sound like I'm skirting around the entire bush, so this helps greatly. It's good that I know how to say that I play certain things and how to clarify it better now. Also, thanks Sanne. I know, it's not worth the time to rp with anyone who judges me for what I rp, because after all it is fiction. However, I guess I'm just afraid of someone gossiping about what I don't mind rping. But yes, thanks ago to both of you. It'll help better now to clarify what I don't mind rping and if they don't mind it either.

Glad to be helpful! And even when you know in your brainplace that jerks aren't worth the time, in your heartplace it's only natural to be a little wary and worry about social situations and not making other people feel too awkward. That's one of the ways to avoid being a jerk yourself, after all.

I guess I should probably throw in the obligatory "always check what age your RP partners are if the RP is going to go "that way" and avoid themes as necessary to avoid risks of jail, even if they say they are cool with it" warning, too, so I can keep my admin hat.

One of the beauties about being an author is that we are able to write about anything we like, so long as we handle it with grace and a firm understanding of the subject matter and its moral and ethical implications.

As noted above, communication is key, because people are (rightly) sensitive to some of the bleaker facts of life and human history. However, if you are committed to telling a story with a meaning that derives poignancy from such topics, do not feel obligated to shun them simply because some third party might hear about it through the grapevine and grumble because they personally do not like the subject matter. A stranger who equates what you write with who you are is making a terrible (and utterly silly) mistake.

In any case, fiction itself is on your side. Some of the most compelling stories revolve around the deep moral and emotional conflicts that can be generated by human cruelty. You will find that many of the things you have listed are anchors of the horror genre, which is immensely popular in all spheres of entertainment, but dig a little deeper and you will realize that they also play prominent roles in everything from tragedy to action to mystery and thriller. There is nothing wrong with wanting some substance in your roleplay, even if it's the grim, gritty, gory sort.

By all means, write fluffy if you feel like you must in order to appease a certain fellow writer (and make it clear that you will happily do so,) but it will serve you well to say upfront that sometimes your stories have teeth. If the conceptualization of a particular roleplay is beginning to lean in a direction where the "heavy things" are more likely to appear out of deference to the logic of the world and human nature, bring it up.

Most importantly, and not mentioned here so far, remember that you do not have to cave to a partner's preferences if you do not want to. There is nothing wrong with calling off a roleplay if the other player's boundaries are too rigid, just as much as they have a right to expect you to respect them. That is to say, if you're interested in writing a dark story with dark themes and your would-be partner isn't, you are not obligated to reform your story into something fluffier in order to fit their standards. Politely move on and find another partner who is willing to work on such a story with you. You will both be happier that way--and you might realize that there are more writers here who explore these things than you think.

Good luck!

I agree largely with what Wizard has said.

There are reasons person like playing the villain, the damaged etc. and that is because writing boons a healthy medium where people can explore depth, perversity and moral inequity, which is a theme people may or may not encounter beyond the keyboard!

I'd only be parroting the same thing as the previous comment, ((As long as you and your roleplay partners discuss PERSONAL boundaries and have ample idea of what themes will be explored)) there is nothing wrong with the exploration of the grim, the gritty and the gory within texts -- you need only look at what makes Game of Thrones and similar franchises popular and it's the meaty injustice and moral ambiguity.

I'd also recommend Niv's blog for insight to healthy roleplay! She touches on some common themes and can give great advice. c:

I think it's perfectly fine to be interested in the darker side of human nature as long as you don't trivialize it. I myself have a morbid curiosity for such things, tho I have been rather limited in how I express it in rp. Roleplay can be a perfectly harmless way to explore these heavy subjects without hurting anyone. The fact is that if everyone wrote nothing but rainbows and sunshine, we would be missing some amazing works and the world would probably be a lot duller.

That being said, one should choose rp partners for this kind of rp with care, especially when we are talking rps of the R rated variety and beyond. You will probably want to have a good discussion in order to figure out what you are both comfortable with doing and not comfortable with doing before you even write the first posts. Communication is key after all!