Skip to main content

Forums » Art & Creativity » I made a story, now i share it with you

Early in the morning….


Rex yawned out loud and picked up the crowbar by his bed and literally pried his eyes open to get ready for the day. He walk to the bathroom to take his medicine and burn the grime off his teeth. Picking up the blow torch Rex got to work melting the stuff off his teeth and commenced going down stairs for breakfast.

As Rex went down the stairs death metal could be heard in the house as he flexed every muscle in his body before opening the cabinet and grabbing the pickled nails and the bottle of acid out of the fridge. Eating the nails and nearly inhaling the acid mixture, he smiled and outside an angel caught fire and span out of control into a semi therefore flipping it and caused it to hurtle into an old lady walking her cat.

Rex went to his closet and took out his flaming business suit and pants that were made from two live crocodiles sewn together by barb wire. He put on the clothing and wrapped a cobra around his neck, and tied it in a tie knot.

Rex went out to his car that still had the blood of a man he ran over on it, and snapped his fingers. The car, out of fear and desperation, started before Rex caused it’s engine to explode and drove off to work.

Along the way Rex noticed a small boy being picked on by two teenagers. Rex grabbed one of them and proceeded to start to literally shove him down the other teen’s throat. The boy said thank you to Rex who said “No problem”, but the smooth, tough, manly way Rex said it caused the boy to hit puberty and soon after spontaneously combusted.

Rex finally made it to his office, and found an IT guy on his computer watching gay porn. Rex disgusted, tore the man's spine out of his back and crushed his skull with it. Rex was unhappy, he always wondered why his computer had gay ads when he searched for things. At that moment, a small baby bird was peeking its head and saw Rex, overloading its small incompetent brain and keeled over dead.

Rex marched up to his boss’s office, with a miniature hurricane brewing behind him. The boss ask what was wrong, but before he could find out his intestine was wrapped around his desk and he was propelled out of his 30 floor building, splatting on the ground and then catching on fire.

Rex yelled loudly, so loudly that people in an alternate dimension heard him and decided to commit suicide. Rex went back to his car and drove home. As he drove, he spit a sunflower seed out of his window, which flew into a mans heart.

Rex hung his coat and crawled into bed, as several women climbed in with him. And then the author soiled himself from how manly he slept before imploding.
TheCatOutOfHell Topic Starter

Btw, no i have nothing against homosexuals, im bi myself, this was a 10 minute writing barf and improv
Bloopit

What the hell did I just read? xD

That was well put together, but entirely bizarre.
TheCatOutOfHell Topic Starter

Thank you!
Thatguywhogames wrote:
Eating the nails and nearly inhaling the acid mixture, he smiled and outside an angel caught fire and span out of control into a semi therefore flipping it and caused it to hurtle into an old lady walking her cat.

I feel that I have to admit that this to me was my favorite piece of this whole short... Short story (as in two shorts before the word story.) I personally feel like it is a joke on hyperbole, as everything seems like a hyperbole that is used in writing or in stories that we will tell in real life--But that's not the case! To me, I feel like it a fun, random story that you came up with. You say that you made this in ten minutes? I think that is pretty nicely done in that short amount of time! I personally miss the "Writer's Workshop" from Elementary school/Grade school (and I feel like your teachers would have gotten a kick out of reading this if you had written something as random as this.

I sort of wanted to point out what I liked from each paragraph, since there are so many, but I wasn't sure. So, I have two questions:
  1. Would you be against me doing some creative criticism on your short story--which in reason of course!
  2. Can you please explain if Rex is human or a robot? I feel as if he is a robot, but that is only because I started to get the hint from the beginning, then had a good feeling that he was after he ate breakfast.

Anyways, I would score this a 6 out of 10 (which I would say is: good, and would reread if I thought about it.)
TheCatOutOfHell Topic Starter

review away, i love it when i can sit down and hear how to write better, just know this was a "Word vomit" something i write to get past writer's block or to calm down from stress.
TheCatOutOfHell Topic Starter

Rex is also human, he is just... epic , the point of the story is to show how over-exaggeration can make a pretty hilarious tale

You are on: Forums » Art & Creativity » I made a story, now i share it with you

Moderators: Mina, Keke, Cass, Claine, Sanne, Dragonfire, Ilmarinen, Darth_Angelus