Forums » RP Discussion » A serious look at IC, OOC and difference

Just to be clear here I speak in terms of when one person meets another.

So I dunno about you guys but for me it's a case of "Be here as a person first and THEN maybe I'll RP". I like RP but I'm not just going to dive right into things with a stranger (Oh look, obligations). Because if I do then it's kinda like a one night stand. I need the emotional connection to be there before getting into RP. And even though this is a RP site and that Furcadia is a "game" (it's honestly more of a graphical chat box) that doesn't excuse the fact that there are others like me that see things in terms of either ooc before IC or a merge between the two. And then there's persona which is the merge and proper IC itself (I do it all I guess, just not all at once). And how can I even know if I like you enough to RP with you when I don't know anything about you and haven't even had a conversation? Ok, yes, one can go find other IC only people but it still doesn't change the fact that I might get avoided just for being different.

And then you get someone coming up to your face and going "Me, me, me, you're not like me so avoid each other". Ok, great, I'm not like you. Great, you're not obligated to get to know me. But to do it just because you think I have to be like you to get on when I respect a different viewpoint myself? When people avoid me just for being different I have to bang my head on a wall and ask myself what the point is in respecting how other people go about things when I get avoided for doing it. Little one sided don't you think?

So it's just as well I met someone that almost avoided me for it but then realized it's never as simple as "It'll never happen". Experience has taught me over and over that it's never that simple. You can nope off the bat all you like but unexpected things can and will happen, then one has to consider what the middle ground is. Won't get into the why of things with me because that's none RP related and more personal, but I hope you all understand where I'm coming from here.

So the conversation went something like this:
"Hi, get to know me first."
"Hi, IC only."
"Compromise?"
"Nope. I don't get to know people. Here's why. You're giving me a bad vibe. Noped right off the bat."
"Aren't we getting to know each other with this conversation? Also I was telling you all this because what would happen if it arrived unexpectedly. It happens."
"Oh, right, it's not so simple after all. And now we're doing this persona stuff. Also you feel like you might want to RP later. You're great and you see me as great. Everything's awesome and compromised on. And neither of us have to change because all this stuff just happened when we respect each others viewpoints."

So yea, when someone goes "Noped off the bat" I'm just like "Ok, but you're probably going to find yourself in a situation like that at some point and not be prepared for it and things will end very badly because you thought it was about you alone and didn't plan for an unknown person that wasn't even met yet." And I also have to ask myself if they're even willing to make the effort to keep my wants and needs in mind. I do with strangers. Until they don't do it with me. Apparently there are strangers out there that keep such things in mind. And muse isn't something that can be as easily controlled as "just being yourself first and foremost". Some peple will be "not themselves" by nature. World doesn't revolve around either one of us or anything in-between. Yet it seems too when there's majority because that's the point people no longer care about minority.

Anyway, this same logic also applies to life and other areas like "friends" (relationships make that not simple. Had a fun conversation about it with someone. Still here and awesome) and so many other various topics. It all circles back to the same thing. Being different. And getting on because you keep each others viewpoints in mind. It's nice that there's people like that but there's a lot of people that just go "nope. Avoided. No compromise/middle ground." Personality always trumps being alike and in no way has to remove mystery from a character. And I've met people like me that are assholes. Yet people like me and that're very different. Which is why I find it very VERY silly to just go "Not compatible. Avoid because of it".

Now be honest, how many can say they wouldn't have avoided people (strangers) not like them before reading this post? People might be understandable here but IC only is majority on Furcadia and it often seems like minority gets dumped on over and over and never given a chance because no one's willing to have a simple conversation to get to know each others personality. I don't expect anyone to be like me but damn, I also feel like I can't be myself when that happens. And that hurts. And I always go out of my way to keep other viewpoints in mind because I don't like hurting others. Now I like Furc, and I like this RP site, and I also like large dreams like TGT. But once it all feels "IC focused" I feel very unwelcome and feel like I can't be myself and that there's no compromise. Obviously no one here can affect Furc but with it being "rpr" I am having to ask myself if it's even worth just being here. Which I want to be. Because I like RP. But if it's all "IC, IC, IC" then I feel like it's a part of me that's going to get ignored. Which is the attitude that shuns difference and leads to bad things happening which I won't even get into.

Fun fact. It's been scientifically proven that if something bad happens to someone in a crowed then people are less willing to lend a hand (we're hive focused in large groups basically). A crowed in a way is it's own "group" of people. So I'm having to ponder minority getting dumped on and not having a place again when I think of this. Oh look, snowflake, it's all about him when he just wants to be accepted and we can be soooo easily. It can seem odd that I'm complaining about it when things are good for me right now but I think of others that get the "Not alike so avoid" treatment. Honestly, I'm sick of seeing it all things, not just RP areas. And that's why I got a gripe with anyone that goes "Hi. RP? No? You want me to compromise? AVOID!" Hopefully this site isn't too IC focused. And just to be clear I mean purely on a 1 on 1 bases of interacting with each other. Not sure what it's like here yet. Hoping for the middleground at least but not getting my hopes up even that high because of personal experience with majority only on Furc. Happens on SL too but you get some more understanding people there, even if the "It should be done IC because that's how it works and I say so for you" assholes are around. Guess I'm venting here more then anything. Hope it doesn't cause a fuse. I'd hit the X and not post but then I'd feel like my opinion wouldn't matter. Damn it, see how paranoid this kind of attitude makes me? And logic dictates if it happens to me it must also apply to others (which is already already proven by seeing it with my own eyes).

Also yes, I write long walls of text. Why do I state this? Because people tell me to shorten it when it's simply how I express myself. No one's obligated to read it (there's other reasons then RP for being so careful about other viewpoints and not deciding for others. Suffice to say I learned the hard way). Ending post and letting others do so now though. Others should get to be themselves and post their viewpoints after all.

The RPR has a pretty demonstrable cultural bias toward having OOC friendships in addition to IC interaction.

• We ask new players to introduce themselves - not their characters, but themselves - when they first join the site so they can hopefully make some OOC connections to help them feel welcome as a person, find their way around and perhaps RP with down the line.
• We just ran an entire week-long event called the Festival of Being Excellent To Each Other. This is an annual event that's been happening for five years running now. The point of it is to strengthen OOC friendships and repair any OOC relationship wear and tear that may have occurred during the year due to miscommunications.
• During our anniversary event, Epic Week, we tend to have a crapton of OOC games where players must work closely together to solve riddles, strategize, and more.

That said, we also allow for people who just want to RP, and have a smaller number of events that allow for jumping IC with someone without any prior OOC discussion. The Trick or Treat the Forums event is one recent example.

I don't feel that either approach is wrong, and have taken both at different times (and with different groups) throughout my life as a RPer. My experience shows me that one tends to lead to the other, no matter which side you start from.

EDIT: I want to clarify: By IC and OOC friendships, I mean both existing at the same time, separate from one another, not that "IC" blends with "OOC". That is pretty rare and typically frowned on in most story-driven RP communities, as it can lead to major drama.

Moreover, it's highly unusual and frequently considered inappropriate in IC/OOC separate communities to play with the goal of taking IC romantic relationships OOC. Sometimes it happens, obviously, but if it's a premeditated goal, it's out of bounds. The TOS of this site specifies that it is not to be used as a dating or hook up site.