Forums » Forum Games » Corrupt-A-Wish

Granted! But, you are constantly being hit up for money by everyone you've known even tangentially. Also, the tax code for srsly rich people is kinda complicated, have fun with that.

I wish I could teleport and get wherever the hell I wanted instantly.

Granted! But when you teleport to your target location, you can only stay for 15 minutes before being instantly teleported to another, random location.

I wish I could talk to my pets.

I'm being greedy by taking two in a row but whatever.

Cool! But you're now aware they're conspiring against you

I wish I had a sidekick to do my dirty-work for me.

Great! No more work for you! Unfortunately people notice and you no longer receive the credit.

I wish I had friends as close as family in my new school.

Great! You have so many loved ones, now. Unfortunately, they all start to hate one another and violently vie for your attention.

I wish my hair styled itself.

Cool. But, your hair has substantially different ideas of what constitutes 'cool' than you do. Enjoy your beehives, liberty spikes, and ducks asses.

I wish raccoons were properly domesticatable as pets. That fluffy tail! Those eyes! Them grabby hands!

Granted, though you can't own one for some reason. Everyone else can, except for you.. because the government is weird like that now. Silly government.

I wish I could own my very own personal flamethrower. That'd be sweet!

Granted but its one with a fake muzzle, and a pierced hull for a citizen to own.

I wish I had free useable health insurance. (note: I dont care if it sucks or doesn't cover much, its just for legal reasons)

Inexplicably, you find a free health insurance program - it just requires you to "volunteer" for invasive medical experiments, conducted by an old man in goggles with an unpronounceable German surname.

I wish Hitler had stuck to making mediocre art.

HA. Can't muck that up now can you?

Granted, the time line had changed and he became a famous artist, however due to him painting a new super power dictator rose to power in this place...and did 1000x times worse then he did. Oh also the new guy didnt lose the war, so billions upon billions died, soo yeah....mucked up enough for you yet?

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I wish orange wasnt a color nor a fruit.

Granted, they both have different names and the word "Orange" now describes a crazy person who is likely to steal your car and drive it into a local police station.

Example: That Orange destroyed my office!

It's second meaning is for an incompetent pyromaniac who couldn't burn hair if they tried.

Example 2: Heh, that Orange tried to destroy my office!

I wish I could spontaneously combust without damaging myself or my surroundings.

Granted, but unfortunately, you'll feel like you're burning when you really aren't.

I wish I could get a life-time supply of Oreos.

Granted, but they're single-stuffed and you get no milk. Ever.

I wish every corrupt human being would just drop dead tomorrow.

Granted, they come back with super-powers though and begin taking over the world.

I wish I weren't so bored....

Granted, but you will always be swamped with things to do, never getting a break.

I wish life was a bit easier.

Granted, but once you die, you go through Purgatory.

I wish I was a video-game princess!

Granted, however you are eternally destined to be captured by a huge turtle over and over, and the only hope you have is an overweight Italian plumber and his dinosaur army.

I wish that a giant platypus would blot out the sun, causing the earth to freeze over.

Granted, but the Earth will only be frozen for 3 seconds.

I wish I was the fattest person alive.

Granted, but you will die from heart failure.

I wish a Fish. That is all.

Granted but the fish is a pirahna and mutates to be able to live on land and in water, eating you once it does.

I wish for a new pair of pants.