I wonder how many roll-puns this contest will get!
rolled 1d100 and got 99
CONGRATS! NOW FOR MORE DICE.
rolled 1d100 and got 38
Congrats!
Rolling...
Rolling...
rolled 1d100 and got 85
A Rap for Geeky Heroes - Contains mild language
Let’s say you’re Harry, Frodo, Leia, or Sam,
Matthew, Mark, Luke or Han,
Or Perseus, Jason, the Tin Man,
Jesus? Kenny of South Park? Another sacrificial lamb.
You’re bored in your corner of the galaxy – Kansas,
Tatooine -- raised by Bilbo, nagged by Aunt Beru,
‘cuz your parents, they gone, they ancient history, they been embalmed.
Your mother, probably she was Bambi's Mom.
You might got some prophecy, scar on your forehead.
Cursed, perchance. Wimpy. Better off dead.
So, our brave hero, you’ll need a mentor to guide you,
someone to edify, inculcate, enlighten your mind.
I’ll teach you Jedi dice tricks, Jedi beer pong tricks,
the chicanery of Cheetos, Doritos, Dew,
how to cast spells like Force Field, Atmospheric Dry Ice,
Glowing Blue Saber (or Sword), How to Be Nice,
How To Hit Armor Class Zero –- THACO!
I’ll be with you, beside you, crit your attacks,
you levitate rocks and I’ll be chillin’ piggyback.
You want to hunt for heart, courage, brain-ing?
Now’s the time to remove your +2 Wheels of Training.
I think I’ve prepped you to accept danger unaided,
set out the door, flip down your blast shield,
take the first step unafraid-ed, so launch your path,
level up from hobbits to jawas, pixels to bloodbath,
stop at this tavern, then wear a disguise,
you’ll know thine enemy, he’s the one with red eyes.
Embark on your voyage, your crusade, your trek to a far-away earth,
middle-, high- or low-, you’ll walk and you’ll walk, lose some of that girth,
and finally arrive at your destiny, that one doom, that ironic fate,
that M. Night Shy-a-malan-ding-dong for which you can’t wait.
The final reel twist? No, I am your father.
And Frodo is your step-brother (I boinked our evil step-mother),
who, by the way, had sex with Voldermort.
And Gary Gygax is your father. Got it?
You sigh. Your brow doth furrow. Boo hoo. Your puppy eyes widen.
You ask, “What must I do?” Poo or poo not, I reply. There is no try.
You will take the Ring, to Mordor, or to East Timor.
Join the Peace Corps. I don’t care what you quest for.
Any damn thing. Just get the flip outta here.
Source/credit cause I'm nowhere cool enough to write something like this.
Let’s say you’re Harry, Frodo, Leia, or Sam,
Matthew, Mark, Luke or Han,
Or Perseus, Jason, the Tin Man,
Jesus? Kenny of South Park? Another sacrificial lamb.
You’re bored in your corner of the galaxy – Kansas,
Tatooine -- raised by Bilbo, nagged by Aunt Beru,
‘cuz your parents, they gone, they ancient history, they been embalmed.
Your mother, probably she was Bambi's Mom.
You might got some prophecy, scar on your forehead.
Cursed, perchance. Wimpy. Better off dead.
So, our brave hero, you’ll need a mentor to guide you,
someone to edify, inculcate, enlighten your mind.
I’ll teach you Jedi dice tricks, Jedi beer pong tricks,
the chicanery of Cheetos, Doritos, Dew,
how to cast spells like Force Field, Atmospheric Dry Ice,
Glowing Blue Saber (or Sword), How to Be Nice,
How To Hit Armor Class Zero –- THACO!
I’ll be with you, beside you, crit your attacks,
you levitate rocks and I’ll be chillin’ piggyback.
You want to hunt for heart, courage, brain-ing?
Now’s the time to remove your +2 Wheels of Training.
I think I’ve prepped you to accept danger unaided,
set out the door, flip down your blast shield,
take the first step unafraid-ed, so launch your path,
level up from hobbits to jawas, pixels to bloodbath,
stop at this tavern, then wear a disguise,
you’ll know thine enemy, he’s the one with red eyes.
Embark on your voyage, your crusade, your trek to a far-away earth,
middle-, high- or low-, you’ll walk and you’ll walk, lose some of that girth,
and finally arrive at your destiny, that one doom, that ironic fate,
that M. Night Shy-a-malan-ding-dong for which you can’t wait.
The final reel twist? No, I am your father.
And Frodo is your step-brother (I boinked our evil step-mother),
who, by the way, had sex with Voldermort.
And Gary Gygax is your father. Got it?
You sigh. Your brow doth furrow. Boo hoo. Your puppy eyes widen.
You ask, “What must I do?” Poo or poo not, I reply. There is no try.
You will take the Ring, to Mordor, or to East Timor.
Join the Peace Corps. I don’t care what you quest for.
Any damn thing. Just get the flip outta here.
Source/credit cause I'm nowhere cool enough to write something like this.
rolled 1d100 and got 30
They see me rollin'~
They hatin'~
They hatin'~
rolled 1d100 and got 89
oops i appear to have dropped some dice
rolled 1d100 and got 35
Aww yiss reroll!
rolled 1d100 and got 16
Congrats to the winner! Time to throw my hat in the pool again~
rolled 1d100 and got 37
Grats to the winners thus far~
Rooooolllliiiinnnngggggg
Rooooolllliiiinnnngggggg
rolled 1d100 and got 65
Congrats, Kaleidescope!
Now then, to roll the dice... *drops them on the floor by accident* Oops.
Now then, to roll the dice... *drops them on the floor by accident* Oops.
rolled 1d100 and got 9
47 caused the next WW3 because I dropped the dice by accident.
Time to try again.
rolled 1d100 and got 79
Oh good im not to late for today's Re-roll!
rolled 1d100 and got 96
Come on, big prizes!
rolled 1d100 and got 53
Another day and another roll.
This roll counts for the 2x Half Bodies of February 6th!
And the winner is... Quintessence!
Time for them rerolls!
This roll counts for the 2x Half Bodies of February 6th!
And the winner is... Quintessence!
Time for them rerolls!
rolled 1d100 and got 79
Congratulations, Quint! ^.^
rolled 1d100 and got 37
Roll #3 my lucky number!!!
rolled 1d100 and got 28
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