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After going through two or three in a month, I think I've finally found a decent one. Quick summary:
Jimmy John's
JJ's is an American sandwich joint which makes sub sandwiches, which usually consist of various ways to pack ham, lettuce, cheese, and tomato onto some bread with additional toppings. Sometimes there would be bacon added in for UBER MEATGASM; however, if you were a vegan or vegetarian, there were also meat-free sandwiches. They also have potato chips and soft drinks/pop/coke/cola/carbonated beverages at their disposal.

While this was a decent job, I was a delivery driver with a car that had a transmission about to be bunk, and having to deliver to the most inane corners of my little town without any sort of guidance was... interesting. For each delivery period you have roughly 15 minutes to complete each delivery, and you get more than one order at once, so it can get semi-high stress. The killer for me was that I was having to shovel $10 USA into my car (Nissan 240sx coupe for you USA folks - for my friends across the pond, I own a Nissan Silvia coupe), so I was netting around -$30 per week. I left that gig after about a week, and was almost immediately hired at...
Price Chopper (wall of text warning)
Mwerp
Price Chopper is an American super-market/grocery store. I was ushered into the deli during my interview almost immediately, and my training commenced on the spot. I liked this job quite a lot besides my ability to not multitask well - my customers were nice, I sliced meat like a pro, and didn't mind doing the dirty jobs like cleaning the fryer or getting the new chicken out from the freezers and then handling the raw chicken (yes, I wore gloves, don't worry), etc. The problem was that I informed a co-worker that I have a lingering form of hepatitis - I thought it was pertient info at the time, what with the risk of being cut, sometimes having a drink out, etc. The next day after I said that, I got a minor chewing out by my boss, but the actual store manager assumed a position of, "How can I help? Is there anything I can do?" The next day, my friends around the store informed me that they had heard that my boss had been spreading that info around the store to EVERYONE, and since I had asked for more training days (since I only had a total of 10hrs training over two days), she labeled me as mentally deficient. I confronted the store manager about this, and it took him all of about five seconds to respond with something to the effect of, "I see. I'm sorry this happened to you, I know you've been working hard at learning this job. Anyone talking about this from herein out will be terminated on the spot." Seeking other opportunities, I put in applications all over my town - from other grocery stores to automotive parts stores.

Ironically, I got a call for an interview the next day for Autozone - an American auto parts store chain. At about 1pm, I went to Price Chopper, talked to the store manager, and we chitchatted about various things, like how the meat slicer had mold on it, and about how our favorite basketball team was doing quite well. After breaking the ice, I informed him of the new job opportunity, but I was determined to go out on a good note, and offered to work the rest of the week (from tuesday to sunday), and even train the new person. He told me congratulations, good luck, and with a smile he said he'd see me in an hour when I clocked in. Well, apparently one of my co-workers was on the phone with my boss, and after I clocked in and went to the deli, I said, "Hey, Toni!" but she just sort of stared at me - who would have known, right? After several seconds, she asked in a pissy manner, "So are you working the rest of the week or what? I have to redo the schedule because of you, ya know." I assured her that yes, I would, but I had a prior commitment on friday. Her direct response was a (language) shitty and bitchy "Oh really?" so that's about when I approached her and said, "Listen, we can be shitty with each other, and drive this into the ground with arguing, or we can be professional about it. I'm trying to HELP you here." She responded with, "PROFESSIONAL? You barely left me any time to hire someone new!" Having had enough, I essentially walked away, told her 'bye' and reported it to the store manager who said not to worry about it, wished me good luck with my endeavors, and to enjoy my week before my interview. We chatted some more, shook hands, and left with a smile.
This has given rise tooo...
Autozone
Believe it or not, I have the unique advantage of having two skill sets: I'm your run of the mill computer geek and repair guy (was certified, too, just need to get everything renewed), and backyard mechanic. Always been into cars, just never had the chance to seriously learn about it until I met one of my best friends about 5 or 6 years ago - he was taking an automotive course at a local college and passed his talents on to me, and now we build everything together. I heard the auto parts stores around town were hiring, dropped off job apps, and got a call the next day from Autozone, an autoparts chain in the USA. Had an interview this morning at 11am - the manager actually had to drive me to a different store because she was new and couldn't technically do it herself - but since she is so short on people and she knows my references, I am basically guaranteed the job. I hope I get it, I'd get more than minimum wage ($7.25USA) and nearly full-time hours from what I hear :D!

It's taken a while, but I've finally gotten locked into a job that I seem genuinely good - and more importantly, can learn - at. A bunch of friends I went to high school (grades 9 - 12, for you non-'murca folks, or from about age 15 to 18/19) with work there, imagine that. I guess this means I can finally get around to finally commissioning some art from Sanne... HEEEEEEEEE.
WEEEEEEEE! Congrats Bronebag! *brohoof*
Heck yeah! *brohoof* Maybe you'll be able to get net soon and we can derail ALL conversations to ponies!! ^_^
Wow, congratulations! The road to the right job can be long, but the end result is well worth it.

Wish you all the best in your new job!
Grats to you

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