Forums » RP Discussion » Romance Roleplay

We all have those plots where our characters fall in love. What I find most often however, is relationships ICLY fail, a lot. Hell Acaeus' relationships fail a lot of times and for the most part it's OOC disagreements. So I wanted to be a nice talkative person and offer maybe some pointers those of you who are struggling with keeping romance plots alive for a long time.

- ALWAYS DISCUSS PLOT with your partner who is roleplaying your characters' significant other. Your character is no longer just living his life by himself. Each action or plot you do with someone else should always be open for that gf/bf to be involved in. And even if some can't involve themselves to where it makes sense ICLY, then just realize that whatever plot it is...will affect their character too.

-Keep the romance alive. I know some of you out there probably don't rp sex. Well I got a surprise for you. You don't have to rp sex in varying ways to keep romance alive. Flowers? Thoughtful notes and not just on holidays people! Random gifts are the best gift.

- Sharing those deep dark secrets. Communication is vitally important in real life relationships. So why wouldn't it be for a IC relationship. If Jim doesn't tell Jenny that she was annoying him last night and keeps it to himself, the problem never gets fixed and silence starts building between the characters.

- Do not assume because your partner is flirting with Jamie that Jenny is no longer important to that character. Jamie just might be a good friend and the male/female characters just might be a natural flirt. Know your partners character OOCly so that when things happen ICLY. You the player can understand why and don't get upset at little instances like the one I mentioned above.

- Family. If you do have a family with your character before Jenny got hitched with you, then try to involve them with each other. But if the players don't get along OOCLY, no big deal. Not every player you rp with are gonna be best pals with your significant other. Long as that long term plot romance partner is able to be there for family rp and not every player hates them...then you can manage.

- Do not intervene with player to player conflict unless it is between you and another player. Whatever Jenny's issues with Jamie is, long as it stays IC to IC and OOC to OOC on the issues...then it doesn't matter. It's not between you and Jenny. It's between Jenny and Jamie. What I have found more often then not is that whatever issues players have with each other work out between themselves in two ways. One. They ignore each other and don't talk to you about other person. Make sure they dont. Two. They talk it over and get along once more. Either way, it's none of your business. So do yourself a favor and stay out.

Can any of you offer any other tips? I'm open minded so if you want to take what I said and point out a flaw in your opinion, I won't be offended.

just chill and let it happen naturally. don't force it.

This.

I never plot romance, it has to happen naturally through roleplay for me. ^^
I believe it's more fun that way.

Thank you so far for input. I agree on letting it happen naturally. Makes for a better romance, but upkeep is needed to keep the relationship flowing so that's why I've mentioned all of the above

good talk/bond with other player. understanding of boundaries and romance types. mutual respect. mutual affection. consideration for other ppls feelings. most romance types fit into the nature/nuture archetype -- the subversion of those roles and a common goal for both ocs to work towards make things sustainable and interesting. healthy positive themes. e.g. redemption/forgiveness. bear in mind the pursuit of another character is a large part of the thrill and once its over interest dwindles away. as you say adult themes can quickly become dull. aus and headcanons are fun and a good way to bond and explore your ocs together!

Do make sure the attention is equally distributed. Unless the plot is specifically centered around your character, please try to evade hogging the attention. It's easy to lose interest when your partner (IC) goes on about their own inner conflicts in the relationship and it seems as though you're never going to get over this wall. There are things both partners are going to want to wedge into the RP. Personally, I like to PM my partner and ask if it's alright if I integrate something into the RP. That way there's no clash when you want to do something, but your RP partner went ahead and introduced another predicament that will take a while to overcome and it seems that you never get 'your turn'. Suggesting that all romantic relationships have their trials and tribulations...

So, yes. Try not to be greedy with the plot. Give attention just as you like to get it.

Also, in romance RP's wording can get quite repetitive. The last thing you want is for your replies to get trite. Spice things up a bit, use creative wording that makes it all the more interesting to read. Flatter your partner every now and again. It is a romance, after all.

Edit: I think romance should merely be a branch of the RP. Having a bigger purpose, larger than just two characters, I believe, will help the RP. After all the first phases of a romance RP things will seem to slow down and probably come to a full fledged stop. Having a plot around the romance will hold everything together, hopefully.

Nice input guys! Keep it coming

Seconded. The best relationship my brain baby Mirage has ever had came from a friendship that bloomed through other plots. It grew around greater plots and eventually turned into romance (kind of shockingly on my end) through other plots. Being able to stand through the trials and tribulations of things like wars or even small things like working in the same place, that brings people together and characters are no different.

Honestly, for romance roleplay. Don't force it, let it just come naturally as i'm sure others have already said. Forcing the romance from what i seen usually leads to it being boring fast and losing interest in the plot rapidly. Granted i don't do romance often and that's extremely rare, let the characters react to different scenes ranging from say a battle to just the simple things. Tiny things can change how two characters will respond to each other in the long run, ask the other person if they have any ideas on how to spice up the rp to give it a flare of life instead of rping the same thing over and over. Plenty of ways to go about two characters falling in love and or starting up a family together, dramas and the little things that come from having characters married the fights and arguments over who left the dirty dishes in the sink etc.

Romance RP should definitely be kept as a go with the flow thing. Like real life, if it develops, it develops. If it doesn't, it shouldn't be forced OOC. You don't meet a person and say you will be married in two years, have kids in three, and divorce after seven. Treat it with some realism even if it is fantasy and crazy. It's a story, it's evolving, and nothing is set in stone.

I already mentioned this in my rules. So this is why OOC conversation is important as is pre plotting. But it's good to know who has different opinions and see different things. And it's good to discuss these differences if you see your characters heading down that path with someone so you can know it its going to work out oocly as rp partners. This way there is no anger or preconception or assumption of what you are expecting. Instead it's all discussed leaving little doubt

In more recent years, I've actively stopped searching for romantic partners for my muses. I've taken to letting things happen if there is appropriate chemistry because I too, dislike the feel of relationships that are 'forced.' But recent events in the past year and a half have really damaged my outlook on character romances because I've dealt with people who were incredibly rude, deceitful and mean spirited and I really regret associating with them.

As others in this thread have said, communication is key between players OOC and their characters IC.

You have had some poor luck in it, I have too. Hopefully your luck changes like mine has. Ilu sweetie.

^^^^
this tho.

-Find a player you get along with frighteningly well
-Communicate
-Be honest/don't hide other RPs
-You are never obligated to anything
-Group RP whenever possible
-Separate IC/OOC like they're the Red Sea and you're Moses

In-Character factors are important, but so are Out-of-Character factors.
Regardless of how well two characters jive together, it won't do you any good if you don't get along exceedingly well with your RP partner. It doesn't matter how lovely their character is or how captivating their writing is, make sure you get along, and that expectations are out on the table from the start. Most importantly, stay true to your characters, and be open/honest with your partner. If they (not their character) have an issue with what your character naturally does, it's time to rethink things, but for the love of all writers everywhere speak your mind about what you're planning and don't keep planned conflict to yourself. Discuss plot. State the obvious. I absolutely promise you it will not be a pleasant surprise to your partners if you don't.

Make sure you do group RPs whenever possible, too. I've had bad experiences because I didn't do this. It can be hard to split your attention between too many partners, and they end up feeling left out. On the flipside, don't feel like an IC relationship is a contract that demands you RP more with a specific person, or that you should get more RP from your creation's significant other. Be honest about your expectations here, too.

Sort of related, if your RP partners don't get along with each other, it can make things difficult. Personally, I will RP with literally anyone in any given scene even if we don't get along OOCly. Not doing so makes it difficult on their partners, and vice-versa.

As a subset of that idea: Furc is smaller than you'd think. Be kind to each other.

I think that about sums my input up. Take it with a grain of salt from a guy that knows what doesn't work.

Very well done Xorath. I agree with everything you've said.

Also, if you're in a relationship OOC, please remember that your characters don't have to be.

I have seen SO MANY people break up in real life, and then immediately toss out/get rid of characters that other people were attached to, purely because they were made to be in a relationship with their now-ex partners' character.

Oh no! Really? That is tragic