Very recently I've discovered a person I am writing with has done something that i find very disrespectful and after thinking things over while considering if I should bring it up or end the RP, I've realized this has happened to me a number of times and I'm curious if perhaps it's something only I have an issue with and am being overly sensitive about.
So, these are the questions I have:
When starting a romantic RP that is not a one off scene but is meant to have a long and perhaps complex plot, do you consider the character you are using 'reserved' relationship vise or do you believe its fair for both you and the other person to still use your characters with full freedom? Do you think it changes things if the other person uses their character freely but never tells you you can do the same?
Also.
If you do commit your characters to the romantic RP, then what happens in case your partner leaves without ever contacting you to say they are no longer interested and the plot is never resolved? Do you use your character freely again and keep the events of the RP as part of their history, or do you discard all the events of the RP and together with them the character development your OC had gone through? Or do you perhaps abandon the character altogether?
I personally despise it when someone uses the same character in multiple pairings at the same time, especially because they tend to never mention this and sometimes change minor details, such as the last name of the character and other small parts of their form/profile, which makes it apparent that they too think that what they are doing is wrong and are avoiding being caught.
When writing romance I always create a unique character for the RP, primarily to avoid granting someone power over the more developed worlds I've created that my old characters are a part of. However very often I'll create side characters and a detailed setting around these new characters as well and I feel that these belong to my RPing partner too. When someone then places their main character in another RP and disconnects the character from everything we've built I feel like I've lost a lot of creative material to someone who doesn't respect it in the least.
So, these are the questions I have:
When starting a romantic RP that is not a one off scene but is meant to have a long and perhaps complex plot, do you consider the character you are using 'reserved' relationship vise or do you believe its fair for both you and the other person to still use your characters with full freedom? Do you think it changes things if the other person uses their character freely but never tells you you can do the same?
Also.
If you do commit your characters to the romantic RP, then what happens in case your partner leaves without ever contacting you to say they are no longer interested and the plot is never resolved? Do you use your character freely again and keep the events of the RP as part of their history, or do you discard all the events of the RP and together with them the character development your OC had gone through? Or do you perhaps abandon the character altogether?
I personally despise it when someone uses the same character in multiple pairings at the same time, especially because they tend to never mention this and sometimes change minor details, such as the last name of the character and other small parts of their form/profile, which makes it apparent that they too think that what they are doing is wrong and are avoiding being caught.
When writing romance I always create a unique character for the RP, primarily to avoid granting someone power over the more developed worlds I've created that my old characters are a part of. However very often I'll create side characters and a detailed setting around these new characters as well and I feel that these belong to my RPing partner too. When someone then places their main character in another RP and disconnects the character from everything we've built I feel like I've lost a lot of creative material to someone who doesn't respect it in the least.
I'm one of those folks who mostly consider my various RPs with various people to be inherently separate - in my mind, it's like they are alternate universes wherein the events of one have no relation whatsoever to the events of another. Naturally, this continues over into character relationships as well. There are times when I'll carrying things over from past RPs, if I feel it's something that should be added to the character itself, but... yeah, concurrently running RPs are not treated as the same continuity.
I can understand why this might be upsetting, but bearing in mind that this is all fictional stuff that people are using to relax and have fun, it seems a little strange to me to take it too personally. It's only the characters who have a relationship, and if it's not the same continuity, then why should a character refuse a valid relationship opportunity because another instance of it already has a relationship? Similarly, some people play different periods in a character's life, and people usually go through multiple relationships over their lifetime before settling on one; if it's different periods, again, a character would have no real reason to reject it.
I don't know, it just feels a little selfish to me. It's something you can talk about with your RP partners, of course, to see if you can find something that works for you both, but... eh.
I can understand why this might be upsetting, but bearing in mind that this is all fictional stuff that people are using to relax and have fun, it seems a little strange to me to take it too personally. It's only the characters who have a relationship, and if it's not the same continuity, then why should a character refuse a valid relationship opportunity because another instance of it already has a relationship? Similarly, some people play different periods in a character's life, and people usually go through multiple relationships over their lifetime before settling on one; if it's different periods, again, a character would have no real reason to reject it.
I don't know, it just feels a little selfish to me. It's something you can talk about with your RP partners, of course, to see if you can find something that works for you both, but... eh.
Novalyyn wrote:
I'm one of those folks who mostly consider my various RPs with various people to be inherently separate - in my mind, it's like they are alternate universes wherein the events of one have no relation whatsoever to the events of another. Naturally, this continues over into character relationships as well. There are times when I'll carrying things over from past RPs, if I feel it's something that should be added to the character itself, but... yeah, concurrently running RPs are not treated as the same continuity.
I can understand why this might be upsetting, but bearing in mind that this is all fictional stuff that people are using to relax and have fun, it seems a little strange to me to take it too personally. It's only the characters who have a relationship, and if it's not the same continuity, then why should a character refuse a valid relationship opportunity because another instance of it already has a relationship? Similarly, some people play different periods in a character's life, and people usually go through multiple relationships over their lifetime before settling on one; if it's different periods, again, a character would have no real reason to reject it.
I don't know, it just feels a little selfish to me. It's something you can talk about with your RP partners, of course, to see if you can find something that works for you both, but... eh.
I can understand why this might be upsetting, but bearing in mind that this is all fictional stuff that people are using to relax and have fun, it seems a little strange to me to take it too personally. It's only the characters who have a relationship, and if it's not the same continuity, then why should a character refuse a valid relationship opportunity because another instance of it already has a relationship? Similarly, some people play different periods in a character's life, and people usually go through multiple relationships over their lifetime before settling on one; if it's different periods, again, a character would have no real reason to reject it.
I don't know, it just feels a little selfish to me. It's something you can talk about with your RP partners, of course, to see if you can find something that works for you both, but... eh.
Perhaps it's best if both players explain how they use their characters beforehand... I don't disagree with you but only in the case when both RPers plan to make multiple versions of their characters. When one of the two prefers to make one unique character who exist in only one version then it's an unfair trade of sorts... one person invests their complete character while the other invests only one 'copy' of theirs.
Also, I believe it can depend on the complexity of the RP? I can't imagine doing extensive world building for a character who isn't 'definitive' since it feels like a waste, or perhaps that's only me as well.
Hi there! This is a topic I've never given any thought to at all. I use my characters freely no matter if they're 'committed' to anyone else in a different RP because to me, every RP occurs in a separate universe.
I don't see how changing minor details in a character's page equals trying to avoid 'getting caught'. I think you're projecting your feeling into the situation when you interpret it this way.
I often create unique characters and unique settings for RPs and I wouldn't mind in the least if my partner used their character outside our RP. I'd even be happy since it means they like what we've created together that much!
Overall, I believe your view of things is a minority one, which isn't to say it's not a legitimate way of viewing things, but I do think it puts the responsibility of bringing this up pre-RP on you. Because to most other people, it's not something that would ever occur to them as possibly ever being a problem.
To be completely honest, if we were trying to set up an RP, I'd probably reconsider RPing with you based on this. It would make me feel that you're way too possessive of my character. I'd have to really really want to RP that particular thing to proceed with the RP.
I don't see how changing minor details in a character's page equals trying to avoid 'getting caught'. I think you're projecting your feeling into the situation when you interpret it this way.
I often create unique characters and unique settings for RPs and I wouldn't mind in the least if my partner used their character outside our RP. I'd even be happy since it means they like what we've created together that much!
Overall, I believe your view of things is a minority one, which isn't to say it's not a legitimate way of viewing things, but I do think it puts the responsibility of bringing this up pre-RP on you. Because to most other people, it's not something that would ever occur to them as possibly ever being a problem.
To be completely honest, if we were trying to set up an RP, I'd probably reconsider RPing with you based on this. It would make me feel that you're way too possessive of my character. I'd have to really really want to RP that particular thing to proceed with the RP.
I say it's best to just consider each rp it's own enclosed story separate from others, like the two above me have stated. With how random and sporadic rp's and their settings can get it's always easiest just to have each rp be it's own continuity. I can understand when you put a lot of time and effort into a setting and someone seemingly doesn't respect the effort you put in, but I'd go out of my way to say that's not the intention in most cases.
It depends for me, if my partner is willing to reserve a character for my character only, then I will do the same. If not, then I won't. However most of the times my character are not in a committed state and can have multiple rps. That being said, I will never roleplay one of my characters cheating.
Alecia wrote:
Overall, I believe your view of things is a minority one, which isn't to say it's not a legitimate way of viewing things, but I do think it puts the responsibility of bringing this up pre-RP on you. Because to most other people, it's not something that would ever occur to them as possibly ever being a problem.
I believed so too in the beginning after posting this topic and receiving so many replies from writers who disagree, however since it's apparent to me now that this is something that should be brought up I messaged a few of my RPing partners and I've actually discovered opinions are rather even. It's very possible it varies from site to site, everyone seems to disagree here and so do the few people who I know primarily RP on tumblr, however I've had quite a few people agree with me on Skype and forums that are not focused only on RPing.
I agree though that it's something mostly no one has considered before.
The thing is, if I'm creating a character specifically for someone, then I'll settle them as reserved. But if it's a character I've poured time and love into and have a few ideas in mind for, it's kind of up to me if I want to "reserve" them. Example; My boy Domitus Capozzi is one that I've roleplayed off and on for many years. He's got a feral version, an anthro version, and now a human shifter version because I love his core concepts so very much. I have ideas that still have yet to be filled, but if someone shows interest in just roleplaying with him, I will. However, if none of my core plots get hit, I'm probably going to still be searching for people to comply with those. Because at the end of the day, that's what I'm really craving for him. Doesn't mean I'm changing him in any current roleplays, or taking pieces from one and putting them into the other. Just means that I'm enjoying two separate timelines/worlds, and still fullfilling someone else's want for roleplay.
Now, if we're in a GROUP roleplay, and Domitus commits to a character, I'm not pretending that doesn't happen and going to another character in the group and doing this separately. In that sort of situation, yes, he's "reserved" for a specific character. But that doesn't mean that I can't get a message for a one on one from someone else, in an entirely different setting, and I'm just gonna go, "Nah man, I can't."
I'm not in a committed relationship with the people I'm roleplaying with. Domitus is not me. Domitus is a character I heavily enjoy roleplaying, in several different settings and timelines and all that.
I think that if you really want someone to be "reserved" for you, you need to tell them that ahead of time. They may wish to make a new character, rather than tie down a character that they enjoy sending into multiple different settings. I think it's also important to consider that you can't always fullfill all the things that someone might want their character to experience, but just because they don't have all their experiences met doesn't mean they want to break off roleplaying with you/end an ic relationship that they're having fun with.
As I said, I do have several characters I've created specifically for other people, and those I do hold on reserve only for that specific person, because it's fun to world build that way. I think really what I'm trying to say is, it depends on the situation, but it's important to discuss this- and a ton of other things people don't usually think about discussing- at the set up of a roleplay.
Now, if we're in a GROUP roleplay, and Domitus commits to a character, I'm not pretending that doesn't happen and going to another character in the group and doing this separately. In that sort of situation, yes, he's "reserved" for a specific character. But that doesn't mean that I can't get a message for a one on one from someone else, in an entirely different setting, and I'm just gonna go, "Nah man, I can't."
I'm not in a committed relationship with the people I'm roleplaying with. Domitus is not me. Domitus is a character I heavily enjoy roleplaying, in several different settings and timelines and all that.
I think that if you really want someone to be "reserved" for you, you need to tell them that ahead of time. They may wish to make a new character, rather than tie down a character that they enjoy sending into multiple different settings. I think it's also important to consider that you can't always fullfill all the things that someone might want their character to experience, but just because they don't have all their experiences met doesn't mean they want to break off roleplaying with you/end an ic relationship that they're having fun with.
As I said, I do have several characters I've created specifically for other people, and those I do hold on reserve only for that specific person, because it's fun to world build that way. I think really what I'm trying to say is, it depends on the situation, but it's important to discuss this- and a ton of other things people don't usually think about discussing- at the set up of a roleplay.
I think "reserved" depends on what you really mean.
You are not Domitus. Just like everyone is not their character. We can all roleplay with other people as those characters if we want, the only thing I would believe to be "reserved" is if your character is in an IC relationship(dating, marriage, etc) with another character.
You don't have that character going off and flirting, having sex with other characters, while you said he was with so and so. Unless that is a plot that you and the other person have agreed upon doing, or Domitus himself has told their character; "I'm polyamorous, I won't be only yours."
That's the only way I feel reserved would come into play! Just talk with your partner a bunch and make sure you both know what you're going to expect from the rp partnership.
You are not Domitus. Just like everyone is not their character. We can all roleplay with other people as those characters if we want, the only thing I would believe to be "reserved" is if your character is in an IC relationship(dating, marriage, etc) with another character.
You don't have that character going off and flirting, having sex with other characters, while you said he was with so and so. Unless that is a plot that you and the other person have agreed upon doing, or Domitus himself has told their character; "I'm polyamorous, I won't be only yours."
That's the only way I feel reserved would come into play! Just talk with your partner a bunch and make sure you both know what you're going to expect from the rp partnership.
I'm gonna be a honest: I'm a slut.
There is only one canon for my characters, and that is decided by me. And my storyline. Anything else? Doesn't matter, it's just a fling. The only other persons' interactions with my characters I've considered canon thus far has been my best friend's. As a result, Cori is canonically married. However, if I want stray away from canon and have her romantically involved with someone else pre or post (or during lmao) marriage, I don't see a problem. I like exploring all aspects of my characters and that includes potential relationships.
If I really, really like a relationship between my character and another's, I might ask if it's okay that I make their character part of my "canon" story for my OCs. That being said: I don't "disrespect" what I've built with another player. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't be role playing with them if I didn't find meaning in the character exploration. It doesn't mean I don't like what we've built or their characters. I've been kept awake thinking about these non-canon relationships--especially with Klaus, who is canonically single atm. They're just fun AUs, I guess?
I think it's important to allow a person total agency over their own character--that includes what characters do or don't affect them "canonically." If someone doesn't want one of my characters to have a canon influence on theirs, that's fine. I hope they enjoyed the RP anyway.
Edit: I didn't realize how old this thread was lol. Also, I don't "make" characters for people. I make them for me and my stories.
There is only one canon for my characters, and that is decided by me. And my storyline. Anything else? Doesn't matter, it's just a fling. The only other persons' interactions with my characters I've considered canon thus far has been my best friend's. As a result, Cori is canonically married. However, if I want stray away from canon and have her romantically involved with someone else pre or post (or during lmao) marriage, I don't see a problem. I like exploring all aspects of my characters and that includes potential relationships.
If I really, really like a relationship between my character and another's, I might ask if it's okay that I make their character part of my "canon" story for my OCs. That being said: I don't "disrespect" what I've built with another player. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't enjoy it. I wouldn't be role playing with them if I didn't find meaning in the character exploration. It doesn't mean I don't like what we've built or their characters. I've been kept awake thinking about these non-canon relationships--especially with Klaus, who is canonically single atm. They're just fun AUs, I guess?
I think it's important to allow a person total agency over their own character--that includes what characters do or don't affect them "canonically." If someone doesn't want one of my characters to have a canon influence on theirs, that's fine. I hope they enjoyed the RP anyway.
Edit: I didn't realize how old this thread was lol. Also, I don't "make" characters for people. I make them for me and my stories.
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