Forums » RP Discussion » Critique above you!

I have a fun RP-related game! Let's have a constructive critique thread.

Look at the profile of the character linked above you. What's great about this character? What needs some work? What more would you like to know about them? What else should be included or more detailed in their profile? Offer your thoughts about both the character idea and the profile itself--even if it's just proofreading. Remember to be constructive, not mean--but don't be afraid to speak your mind, either! (It's therefore encouraged that you want the critique if you post here. We're going to be honest with you.) Also, don't just point out flaws--offer suggestions to fix them.

Also, try not to let your opinions get the better of you. If you really really hate the color red, but this character is all red... that doesn't mean it's a bad character. Try to see through things like that.

To get feedback, just post your critique as one of your characters--the one you want the person below you to critique. Maybe it's a new one or one that doesn't see a lot of play, so they aren't as polished as your other babies are.

Let's see how much better we can make ourselves.

Rawr! I have nobody above me to critique. Heimdall is, however, a glorious ray of excellence.

First off, I -love- the half-human, half-monstrous human concept. Every time I see a half-human, it's got to be something elegant and beautiful and such. But half-troll? Awwww yyyyeeaaah. It's like, whatever happened to Half-Orcs? Outside of DnD, it's like they don't exist anymore! Once in a while I see one (oddly enough, usually female), but rarely.

Ah, but I'm rambling. On to Skally-poo!

Firstly, I love the art. It's original, and matches -really- well to the site theme. You can tell that you do quite a bit of research into Norse myth and history to get your character accurate, and I love it when a player takes that level of dedication towards a character, rather than just "Man that sounds fun, I'll play that!"

Moving on from the bio stats, let's move on to his strengths and weaknesses, shall we? Firstly, brownie points- I don't see a single maxed stat in the group, which insinuates that he isn't a total master of anything- trying to claim that somebody is just seems conceited if you ask me. Every skill I see listed has an explanation as to why, and a balance to make sure it doesn't go overboard, so it's totally believable that this half-troll knows what he knows rather than "I'm a half-were-rabbit, and I'm a powerful fire mage too!" Bummerrrrr! Now, the shapeshifting sorta gets me iffy- then again, I have a natural aversion to it simply because I've seen it so many times. I like that you put a time restraint on it, but really I guess it depends on how and why he can shift the shape.

My favorite part is, of course, the WEAKNESSES section. I get tired of having people provide a list of how and why they overcome anything thrown at them and always win. Having a list of possible- and exploitable- weaknesses really helps you get to know the character in a new reality. It makes them seem mortal, and very real.

All in all? I'd rate him no lower than an 8/10. Fo sho.

I am a huge fan of well constructed, formatted, BBC(America) coded pages-- and this is one daaaaang fine character page. There are so many details, and yet they're coded together so that all that info is easy to read and not hitting me in the face like a bad car wreck.

tl;dr, I love well-formatted pages.

Okay, uh, onto the character himself. He has a ton going on for him (which I always take as a sign that the character has had lots of development over its playing time-- I loooove character development instead of things simply being tacked on because they're "cool"), but none of his abilities (metaphysical/magical or physical) or over the top or mastered completely. He has more potential to grow as the charts hint to me.

Talin's also got a LONG history, but from the looks of things it's not full of clichés despite him being the son of a powerful archmagus and political figure-- and he's been through some trouble like any other person, but I take it that said trouble isn't presented in a "baaaw oh woe is meee" manner I unfortunately get to see on occasion with characters who's parents were "very well off".

Inventory is well detailed too-- we get to see what they look like, what they do (for the most part-- at least for the bracers, possible effects are ambiguous for plot, I presume), and how Talin acquired them. No stone was left unturned, far as I can see.

All in all, a well-crafted character who's got a lot under his belt thus far but still has potential to grow. It IS a lot to take in though, and I admit that while I read through most of it, all the information was intense to process. Still, I take that as a sign of a well-played character, and as I said, you have his information coded in very well so it's not messily all over the pages.

9/10, although I've never been a fan of number ratings due to a lack of official standards

First of all, the name. I dunno, but names with real words in them tend to irk me somewhat. I have no idea why, though. Characters that belong in big old families also have that effect on me, and Draconus is from one of those. On a much better note, it's refreshing to see a character that isn't a OMGSOSTRONG warrior if forced to fight. You have created a character with a severe physical impairment (well, the arm), with magical skills that aren't all over-the-top either. I really like that, as I happen to make all my characters at least kinda good in a fight, because I suck. Having your own race is nice too, even though I'm not a die-hard fan of that, then again, most of my characters are just that, so yeah.

Oh, personality-wise, there isn't much info there, but we can assume some of it, which is also great. For me, this is the best Draconus has to offer - he is a simple, polite and knowledgeable person who also has his flaws, such as being sheltered and easily frustrated.

So yeah, I suck a reviewing. Anywho, I ain't rating him, but I am saying you've got a pretty epic, solid character in there.

And this is the part where I brace for criticism, since the best I have to offer isn't nearly as good as your characters.

I really enjoy Sitta. He's such an interesting, cold character. Rather detached, but his inner contempt for the human species is, in all honesty, rather amusing. His heritage and species is very interesting, though can be a bit confusing for those who don't quite know much about it. Your page explains rather well however about the Siblings, so that the person RPing with Sitta isn't completely out of the loop.

My only complaint of Sitta would be that he doesn't seem to interact with others much, therefore not giving you or your partner much to RP with. I understand that it is simply in his nature to be antisocial, but you have to consider the practicality of a character that would rather spend his time alone or with his own 'high and mighty' (as he would think) species.

Overall though, a fantastic character. I enjoy him very much.

First of all- hoshit, wallotext. @.@

I kept losing my place trying to rid that big ol' jumble of words. Paragraph breaks aren't evil, and they help make things flow.

On to the character.

She seems very... I don't want to say Sue-ish, more... idealized? She does have some definite Sue qualities, but then most characters do. The problem is, she doesn't seem to have anything that balances those Sue qualities. I mean, she has a sad childhood, she was kidnapped and experimented on and tortured, but she's still a happy, beautiful, well-adjusted, kind girl, with no real reason to be. It could just be my own experience talking, but people who live through that many bad experiences - especially those that leave them terrified of a sink full of water - are not that well-adjusted. It just doesn't work that way.

That aside, she's a pretty good character, and I do like the attention to detail in her habits and her outfit, although the description could stand to focus more on her than her clothes- does she never change her outfit?

Blah, I'm babbling. Sorry. Overall, I like her, but her background could use a little work. Unless I'm just being nitpicky with psychology again. I do that sometimes.