Forums » RP Discussion » Are you still there?

So to start with I don't know what this means to any of the rest of you, but I like to believe everyone has at least experienced this. Now what I am talking about is the sudden absence of a partner for a role play. In other words the sudden vanishing of that person or character, perhaps you make a post that is never responded to. An Rp that you are really into and are getting invested in the story you have been building.

Now I'm just really wondering who has been given the cold shoulder by a Rp? Who's been left on that cliffhanger and never given an explanation as to why?

I'm asking cause I've been left on that cliff with out being able to ask that simply question we all long to be answered, "Hello... are you still there?" In my case I never got to ask that question as to what went wrong. The user I am talking about will remain anonymous for the sake of their own credibility. I don't ever expect them to respond to my question or give an answer, but I want to know who else has had a similar experience on this site?

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

ToaNuva

I think it's rare that someone hasn't experienced this. It's bound to happen eventually, especially in large communities.

I also want to start by saying: no matter how much it sucks that it happens, nobody owes us anything when it comes to RP. It's a hobby, not an obligation, and everyone is free to quit it however they deem fit without explaining themselves. That is their right.

The friendliest course of action is to give an explanation, see if there is a way to compromise to not leave the other person hanging, and then be on your way to do whatever you want to do if you decide to quit.

I've also come to realize that life doesn't always allow for this, one way or another. Mental illness occurs frequently in roleplayers for example, and that can be difficult to talk about and deal with. When life gets to be too much, RPs are some of the first things to go. Guilt is piled onto that frequently, which leads to avoidance, which leads to silence for the other party. This can escalate to dramatic proportions wherein a player deletes their entire account to avoid a confrontation that has blown up in their mind, even though in reality it is just a simple conversation.

When a sudden big life event happens, RP may not have any priority for a while until that is dealt with. Especially when it is just something the person dabbles in, it can be easy to forget to inform RP partners when their lives get turned upside down overnight.

I've found that abandoning an RP or an RP partner is rarely a malicious act though, and that most of the time the abandonment isn't intentional. People fear confrontation, possibly due to bad experiences in the past where asking to leave was met with hostility, so they disappear. People don't want to hurt others by saying "I can't RP this anymore", so they avoid the whole thing and let it fizzle slowly until the other person just hopelessly quits. Sometimes someone is still there, but doesn't know how to communicate about their current situation and therefore remains silent.

You can only do your best to reassure your RP partners that you're open to talk about it and will not be angry or disappointed. Some will find it hard to trust in that, others may open up. In the long haul though, they're free to do whatever they want to, whether that is convenient for us or not. It's one of those things that I've learned to just shrug about and move on from when it happens. I've been on both ends of this, and it seems like an organic part of the roleplaying experience one way or another.

I am definitely guilty of this and I apologize to everyone I've done this to. I get bored of everything easily due to my ADD and this makes it hard to keep an interest in any rp I'm doing which eventually leads me to wanting to drop it. But I always feel like it will annoy the other person so I just stop replying and hope they just give up in trying to contact me.

I know, this is really bad which is why I apologized earlier. This problem and fear of commitment make me second-guess when starting new roleplays now.

Ahh, I know this situation well. You're definitely not alone, dude. Sanne put it best, really.

I don't have a lot of add except empathy though. It's frustrating to get really excited for an RP and then get nothing back. I get it, though, so I can't really get angry eithy partners when it happens.

And I may be guilty of it as well... It doesn't help that I have a random schedule, which means I can't reply back for sometimes a day or two after. I try to keep in touch with people when I can, though. To anyone that's felt like they were left hanging, I apologize! (Also bug me if you're afraid I'm subbing you. I may have just formed the reply in my head while working, and forget to actually send it!)

What Sanne said!

Also, sometimes people forget or mess up. I've opened numerous replies from RP partners without noticing it, because I was on my phone doing so, and I've waited for weeks, thinking why won't they reply?!
I've also accidentally forgotten to reply to a post, maybe because I wrote the reply in my head, like Snipehunt. Not too long ago I replied to a LFRP post, only to have OP tell me that he/she wasn't interested in RP'ing with me, because I had stopped replying to their RP's, when in I reality I had suffered a mental breakdown around exam period and forgotten every RP I had. Of course I apologized, and we're now RP'ing happily ever after.

The point is, that maybe she should try and send your partner a message, asking them how they are. When my RP partners don't reply for more than a month, I send them a message asking them how they are and if there is anything they aren't satisfied with - mostly they reply that life happened, and that they were sorry to have such a long response time, and I tell them that they don't need to worry about it. Let your RP partners know that you care for them and I'm sure they'll appreciate it. Don't be afraid to give them a very gentle nudge(nudge may be the wrong word), as long as you're not pushy about it.

Well thats the strange thing, the other person blocked me, and I see them active on the site everyday. So like I'm mostly confused as to what exactly happened. So their is no way for me to know, so do you see my problem here?

I see. I suppose there is not much else to than to just leave it then and move on
Just don't let it affect your other rp's and future rp's.