Forums » Smalltalk » Asexual Awareness Week!

Yesterday was the start of Asexuality Awareness Week, and being ace (short for asexual) myself, I figured I'd go ahead and post something about it.

This is not about the biological term for a form reproduction, but the definition that relates to orientations in humans. Specifically: An asexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

So there's heterosexual, for those who are attracted to the opposite sex or gender, homosexual, for those attracted to the same, bisexual and pansexual for different shades between those, and asexual who... just don't find anyone "hot."

Mind you, that doesn't mean aces don't have romantic relationships or find people attractive in other ways. There are also further breakdowns, but it can be a little overwhelming if you haven't heard of this before.

If you'd like to know more, perhaps the best place to look is AVEN - that's the primary reason they exist. I'd also be happy to try to answer a variety of non-personal questions to the best of my ability, but if it's something with iffy content, you should probably send it via PM. And be aware, I'm still learning myself!

I'm so happy someone posted about this topic this week! It feels good to finally find someone else who shares this with me. I align with being demisexual myself! I'm so glad that others on this site identify themselves as Ace, it's nice not to feel as lonely when it comes to this sort of thing!!!

\o/

Even if no more comes of this, just seeing another (and someone I already know at that!) shares this makes me happy.

May I ask when you figured it out? It was only roughly a year or so ago that I finally properly looked into it and realized it myself.

Whooo! I have a surprisingly large number of asexual friends (you included of course ). I'm going to link them this topic.

Yay, at least someone out there hasn't forgotten us!

Personally, I figured it out years ago, after purposefully trying - and failing - to get sexually attracted. Actually, one of my early romantic interludes ended because I never seemed interested in "doing the deed" with them. It's been an uphill battle getting close to anyone since then, but I managed at least one more relationship before I had to call it quits. That doesn't mean I'm entirely aromantic... just asexual.

Ain't ace, but I got your back. No one walks alone.

I’m glad this is a thing! I wasn’t even aware of the term until my friend mentioned it in relation to one of my characters a few years ago, and since then it hit me that I’m asexual, too. It’s good to know there’s other people out there that are ace, too.

I always used to think and was convinced for a long time that I was just overly restrained and taught by my upbringing that I needed to reframe from acting on such things. But as I grew older and other people around me began to change and experience the normal urges, I found that I didn't. I much preferred to get to know the people before I acted, and I mean REALLY GET TO KNOW THEM. But people always seemed to get bored with that and moved on before I felt any physical attraction.

I took some time earlier this year and began taking quizzes, tests, posting in forums and doing a fair bit of research. I reached my conclusion March of this year and declared myself Ace, more specifically Demi.

I think it's made even harder for people to realize they fall on the ace spectrum with this kind of thing because to some extent, for a lot of people it's considered normal to 'get to know' someone before engaging in any sexual activity. It requires some sort of bond for most, even if it's just a simple 'we get along well', so it can be really confusing!

I'm glad you got it all figured out in the long run.

I have a question:

Why is there a hippocampus on the flag?

Because water you waiting for?!

Hee, love you guys!


Dunno. Best guess is its following the idea that asexual people also "don't exist." I've also seen claims that we're secretly dragons (or occasionally unicorns).

And there's also the asexuwhale and the aromanatee.

Thank you, Nova and others.

Asexual Awareness Week isn't just about confirming our existence to folks who already know about us. It's a time to celebrate ourselves, to help us feel validated, because while we aren't a particularly marginalized community, we are very much surrounded by folks who don't understand or believe in us.

Even my own parents, who are extraordinarily open-minded on MOGAI matters, had a very hard time coming to terms with the idea that I wasn't interested in having children of my own. I had to convince them that it wasn't just a phase, that I wasn't merely blind in my youth; I had to convince them that it wasn't just the cold feet of a virgin fearful at the prospect of sex; I had to convince them that my experience was sincere.

"You're still young; one day somebody will come along and sweep you off your feet."
"But you'd still enjoy it with the right person!"
"You just don't know what you're missing out on."
"What if your partner wants it? Don't be selfish to them of all people!"
"You're just celibate, not asexual."

There are so many things people say in good conscience, not realizing that they're being hurtful. Sometimes they're even trying to help, in their own misguided way. And usually they're our friends and family. Many of them are part of the LGBTQA+ alliance, and almost certainly feel as we do in trying to validate themselves to a society that doesn't understand them; that's when it really starts to sting.

And in the few short years Asexual Awareness Week has existed, I've already felt how much it has improved my life. It's not just a random excuse to celebrate, it has very real consequences that I think most of us here can agree have had a tangible impact on our confidence and sanity. Just seeing other ace folks expressing themselves more freely is liberating, and the support from all sorts of people who don't share our experiences — it's a huge relief to know that we can be understood, and that there's hope that one day will be the last day anybody has to hear "It's just a phase."

All of it, just... WOW!!! Bravo!!!

Indeed! Thank you, Samster, for doing such a fantastic job of sharing not just an experience, but the very heart of what this week is for. That, and helping to get the concept out to those who don't know it yet and are still feeling somehow "broken."

And thank you for bringing this wonderful week to the attention of those Repositors who'll have it. ♥

Incidentally, this was how I went to work yesterday.

THAT IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!!

Apparently so. I shared that photo on FB, both publicly and in an ace group. The one in the ace group has gotten nearly 200 "reactions" now. @.@ Is crazy!

But thank you!

Though there has been quite a bit of hodgepodge'd debate on whether demisexuality should be/is under the umbrella of asexuality, I do consider myself to be a demisexual. i typically don't seek recognition or evidence of it regarding the gender alignment, but it's always nice to have it spring up!

Demigod?

No... demisexual.

Sooo like partially Venus?

N... :shrugs: yeah sure.