Forums » RP Discussion » We all want cake.

Last time I tried a post like this I made a fool of myself because I was losing my marbles at the time. Less marbles now but things are still rough. Lot of personal stuff going on and constantly scared of saying the wrong thing all the time. But sod it, here's a thread, I can't be silent forever. And screw anyone that tells me to just shut up (It's been a long week. I'm just snippy, that's not directed at anyone. Even though it applies to everyone). In any event, onto the thread itself.

Roleplay is less common these days. Not just on this site either. It's happening on Furcadia, Second Life, etc. Anyway, I put this in my status somewhere and was told it was deep. Personally I call it common sense.

You know, I think I know why RP is dying off in general. Because deep down we all want to do it with people that matter. But no one cares enough to get to know people first. It's like a one night stand. Do you want to be one forever?

I bet this will get a lot of flak because "roleplay, characters, blah blah blah" but the simple fact is roleplay isn't as active as it used to be (which I consider separate from persona which is actually what many people do these days, as opposed to actually roleplaying like in the past. Roleplay isn't supposed to be taken personally folks. That's what makes it roleplay). And there's my reasoning for it. If people want to roleplay with strangers that's there business of course, but if someone doesn't even bother to get to know me, and worse, take things personally in what they consider a roleplay (I'm just noting I avoid persona types more often then not, though not always), then why would I want to share an interest with them, even if I do enjoy the activity? Do I want to play a game with a random stranger that doesn't want to get to know me or do I want to play one with someone that's been there for me through thick and thin? Do you want to be tossed aside and left to find someone else time and time again when someone is done with you? Perhaps people are actively roleplaying with people closer to them (I think that's actually happening. Maybe I'm just jealous that I'm missing out these days?), which obviously the public in general won't hear about too much because it's their business. But at the same time if we remain shut away in our own groups we don't give strangers a chance either. I'll stop there before I start getting too poly on the matter and I'm totally biased in that area. Plus I've ranted enough. I'd just like to see a little more of "Hi, this is who I am. Let's do fun things together once we hit it off". Right now it's more like "Hi, roleplay the way I want too because I only care about using you for my amusement and I'll hope you magically share my interests. You better have the exact same likes I do". It seems everyone's so busy trying to amuse themselves that they neglect the amusements of others.

I'll give you your cake. But the cake you like might taste yucky to me. Give me some cake I like and I'll give you some cake you like. For me it's "Stuff other then roleplay because need to know you're there as a person". For others it might be "Other roleplay info that doesn't match my fav/yes list. I can adapt if the other person does." case in point, be flexible. Everyone wants cake. It can be a lie, but not always.

Not something that can be controlled either, so no, I can't just "go pure IC" either. Like people somehow expect me too and think I'm obligated to do.

*Flops*

Also I feel a quick explanation of "persona posts" are in order. Persona= a few lines of text. NOT becoming a "other you" like it does in the more furry circles. Though that can of course also apply. But I'm talking about "Hi, I bound up to you, tail wagging happily". And then a response is taken personally once it's given (I consider it a good thing. People become closer through it. Which is why I can't put it in the same field as proper roleplay that is not taken as personally which can do the same thing but in a somewhat different way) As opposed to, say, a paragraph post about a lot of actions im more detail (like in a book).

I feel this. Making friends and role playing itself was easier when I first started about ten years ago--maybe it's just the nostalgia haha. But I could jump into a RP and have so much fun without a lot of worry and while our concern would be the role play, there would be so much OOC chatter. The person I call my best friend today was one of those role players I met when I was still getting started.

And I would love to make that sort of connection again, but I'm so difficult to get to know. Said best friend is an unapologetically expressive and talkative person who took the initiative in forming our current relationship. There are so few people like that! So even if I share a lot of the same interests with another role player, they're not always talked about. The focus with me tends to be the RP, and it's hard for me to work past it.

Of course, back then, we were kids and could spend hours role playing and chatting. Now my demographic and people I could relate to most is working full time or going to school or both, and it's so difficult to make time to get to know someone even if I was outgoing enough to do so. And I can enjoy just a role play, but investment into a person and their characters and their interests is so much more difficult, but worth it.

I also tend to shy away from persona types. I just don't know how to respond to that sorta stuff.

I have to pose a question as a bit of the devil's advocate: if RP is dying, why are we still doing it? I feel you on all those points, and I would rather prefer to know a person behind the scenes. My own shyness gets in the way of that, so I just end up playing along with other people. I concede that finding people to connect with via RP is not as easy as it was, say, nine years ago. And not only has participation dropped (from our viewpoint because most RPs are private) but in a way, so has quality from time to time.

But then I have to pose the question again: why still do it? Is it only a matter of time before we all move on to something else and sites like RPR shut down? Is it only a mere slump until a fresh demographic rolls in? I'm only curious here, and would love an answer.

On persona play, I will not lie and say I haven't done it before. That was more of a thing when I was a teenager on IMVU however, and have since grown out of it mostly. I think persona play is more prevalent in places that provide easily customizable avatars because I don't see it as much on sites like RPR. I could be wrong as fail though.

Why do people have one nights stands instead of spending time to really get to know people first?

Some people like to just do it. And people used to both do it and there would be as many as getting to know as just doing it. Now it's more of the former and less of the later. Hence my connection with the two. When someone comes up to me and goes "RP, RP, RP", I can't help but feel like they want to get their fix and then ditch me after. Which has happened when I went along the jump into RP route.

The real complication is that you have to hope whoever you get to know is actually a decent poster. If they're not then they're still a great person. But without being a great poster too it would be like "You're great and amazing but there's still that need there". Which I personally can't just share with "random stranger only interested in roleplaying with me for the night".

At the same time, if you never give anyone a chance then there's no "wiggle room" on their side. Not doing it at all would be losing out on this side. Which answers the why of it. Some people give chances easily. Some not so much. Others inbetween. And it can easily shift and change due to circumstance. More so when it leans heavily in one direction or the other, resulting in a lack of desire due to lack of results, both experienced and observed.

On the persona topic, I still do that myself, though didn't used too as much. In a way I grew "into" it. Some people look down on it, but I started seeing more of its charm when I started looking at it from a less "roleplay" (in other words more personal) perspective. Plus it can get the ball rolling and turn into RP (in those instances I'd be in the more character mindset and make it clear, which for many is "less" personal but for me is more). The main issues I've had with persona is assumptions made of it with roleplay (eg: Character does something, person takes it personally). Both from personal experience and observations of people being IC right off the bat. Such interactions go much better once things are explained with no offence taken either way, even if only a little. Otherwise people just call it drama when someone's IC and someone else takes it the wrong way (in these instances futher persona/"personal" RP posts does NOT help FYI. Something I witnessed once).

I guess I feel like roleplay needs more communication. It's just more likely to happen and more smoothly once things are talked out. People used to brainstorm plot ideas and talk a bit. Have some fun about X and Y topics along with roleplay. Nowadays it's more likely to be either one or the other. *Waves paw* They both need love dang it.

Also I'll note that my observations are outside of the site. And that I didn't factor in IMVU, nor do I really intend too since it's more persona and less roleplay based. I should look around more but when one is more furry it limits options somewhat (actually, a lot. Good job it's a more friendly area). Especially when people have rules about "This is a human place" and tell you to "change your skin". That's another topic though. Suffice to say I despise discrimination in any shape or form. I don't care what rules/laws there are, it's never right in my book. On or offline.

Allot of Rpers nowadays are either new or just like casual or simple roleplays. Sure, to me it's a shame, but some are rookies who are learning.

My only issue with RP in general is interest, mainly in plot, genre and what should happen. Allot of people nowadays I came across like fluff or slice of life.

That or allot of people I have experienced don't like plots and just like stuff such as fetish kinks or just something real life.

When I roleplayed on Gaia years ago, there was a plethora of fandom RPs I loved. I ran some and I even jumped a few and made some friends. We would make some awesome stories and even art. Now Gaia RP is pretty much...

1 Take a random pic and say it's their character.
2. No plot.
3. Bossy GMS.

I been on several user run forums, blogs and sites that either surround one fandom or are multiverse. Which tend to die out within a year or two due to busy admins or just nothing placed on the table for others.

As persona types. I kind of use a canon character as my persona and it sticks to me. I have ran into the whole. "LOL U WILL GET LAFFED AT! FOR RPING THAT!" Yet the said person has a recolour or are just being stupid.

I think that's what it ultimately boils down to: more communication is needed in the world of RP in general. So many other factors come into play, like new people just getting into it (like Psychic said), older people falling out of it or falling into their own personal groups, time constraints, real life issues, etc., etc., etc.. Discussions have been held here on how to communicate better with fellow roleplayers in fact, so it's a major deal that does need to be improved bit by bit.

However, I don't feel that RP as a whole is dying; it's a popular culture that takes many forms, from D&D to simple casual RP between friends. It's so popular and ingrained into modern society, some people don't even realize they are roleplaying when talking with others online. If one area does indeed fade off in activity, it doesn't mean it all dies. I just think it's going through a waning point before it waxes again, at worst. Overall, I still want to keep doing it. It's something I, and a lot of other people still enjoy as a pastime.

Persona wise: since this topic came up, I've wanted to start it back up. On and off, just to test the waters. From that hiatus I took, I kinda grew scared of falling into it again because I'll be laughed at or ostracized. But now I'm willing to try again. I used to love it when I was younger, so it's worth another shot as an adult. It does lead to some nice RP and friendships when you're with the right people.

Oh, I never claimed roleplay itself was dying. if anything it's more popular then ever. I was simply referencing how things used to be in terms of people getting to know each other compared to how things are now. Which is kind of a big deal for me for a number of reasons. You said it best though. "With the right people." When people are only interested in roleplay it doesn't feel like the right people. Comes from a history of, hmm, lessie here. I suppose I want to be seen as a person before a character. And that roleplay could be possible with me but shouldn't be expected of me. Which may or may not happen due to past and present BEEP and random muse. Also past experience has shown that people don't stay in touch when it's "character focused". Unless they stay in character. And I'm more then a character. How many people stay in touch when there's no longer a character?

Genially asking. I've actually got a history of one night stands in both the roleplay/yiff areas and observed it in others as well as having personally fallen out with people (RP and not) with a lot of flak everywhere and somehow things worked out eventually, with everyone super close to each other. I can tell you this, the ones that stay no matter what's on the other side are the ones I'd like to roleplay with.

However, not everyone is going to be able to be able to para roleplay (persona is much more common) or even have the time/patience too. And I am on the slow side myself (about half an hour per para/para+ post? I got time though. Guess I need someone with more time? I'm boned. @.@) I know who I know. And for me it's the full experience or bust. Because anything else is a pale shadow in comparison. Meaning that from my stand point if I "did it with a stranger" it would be basically like playing a demo of a game instead of the full game. Some people don't mind that, others want to experience the full plot without ruining the experience beforehand because holding back on it makes it more meaningful in the end when it does happen.

I probably botched up that explanation. But I'm sure you get the idea. Am I greedy? Maybe. But can I control my muse? Nope. I either know when I want to roleplay and I know when I don't. I can't control that. Just so happens it's with "People that are there through thick and thin, which can only be known over time after getting to know someone". Along with "We start this, we see it through, baring emergency BEEP popping up. Because even though it's fun it's meaningful to me as well".

In a sense I need to know someone in a none RP sense first in some ways. Unless they're awesome. Then I'll probably roleplay anyway. Or such was the case. I've reverted back to seeing how things go after a bit now (say, a few days/a week). Just to see if people leave due to the lack of roleplay. But not the lack of keeping in touch. I'm always willing to discuss pretty much anything provided others are. Which tends to be the reason people keep in touch.

Maybe I'm just playing hard to get. But hey, sometimes I can hardly get myself. Needs to be a team effort I guess.

If you do not mind another opinion:

Role-Play used to be about just that, Role Playing. The player took on a role in some setting, that brought them to a situation and the player(s) played it out. Dice added randomness and nobody was certain of the outcome. You had to see what happened. There was anticipation and suspense and nothing was guaranteed. It was a journey.

Today though, Role-Play seems, to me, to be more about Playing out. Instead of seeing what will happen, the players decide in advance what will happen and then play out what was decided. It is going straight to the destination.

I know I am biased, I prefer to see what happens over getting to the ending.

Again, in my opinion, a lot of the problems players are having getting into RP, sticking with it, finding "good" players is because of this change in mindset. Going into an RP to see what will happen, generally speaking, you are more open, more accepting, encouraging, etc. But the more you firm up in your mind the specifics that you want/need to have happen in your "RP" the less open and accepting of a player you start to become and the harder it is to play with you.

Trying to give examples, because I love them.

"I want to play a smuggler game in the Old Republic Era of Star Wars. Lets talk and see what we can get going!"

Compared to

"I want someone to be Lucy's partner (Non-romantic) in crime to take over the cartel that exiled her, run by her half-brother, that Lucy will will save at the end. You must fill out an application, have good grammar, post at least 2 paragraphs once every 2 days..."

I've been listening to people say that RP is dead or dying for about 20 years now, but as far as I can see, those predictions have never come to pass. It's still going strong. It may not be exactly the same as you remember it, but that may also just be optics. "Playing out" style RP has always existed and been popular alongside other kinds of RP - in fact, many DMed tabletop games are some order of "playing out," it's just that only one person knows the destination. Because the RPR does not enforce one single style of RPing as the vast majority of either places do, either by rule or social norms, you're bound to see a bigger mixture of stuff being done here, some of which may not be to your taste but is still totally legit to call "role play".

I have a lot of data on how much RP goes on on the RPR, and what kinds of RP those RPs are, and I can very confidently tell you there's been an increase in every kind of RP on this site every year that it's been open.

I actually experience the opposite issue. People are too open ended and the RP ends up going just nowhere, because most people who say 'let's see where this ends up' have no idea how to pull or push a plot forward, and have characters who don't actively want to pursue anything in life. So it ends up becoming stale, uneventful and I have no real interest in continuing the game anymore.

Having a goal to work towards is how life works too. You don't get up in the morning and think "Well, let me just sit here and see what happens!". You have a to-do list of things to do, like having breakfast, going to work, meeting work targets, going out to eat, meeting up with friends, working towards a job raise, saving enough money for your dream trip to a foreign country, befriending people from cultures you know little about, learning new languages, exploring your hobbies etc. Without such tasks we'd do nothing, and without goals and destinations our existence would be hopeless. Does it always happen the way we plan? No, but things do happen on purpose a lot.

So when someone approaches me with a clear goal in mind, I am very happy! It means we're actively progressing towards something, we're not going to get stuck with characters twiddling their thumbs; we have characters who feel real and tangible because they're working towards tangible goals in their worlds, whether they meet them or not.

That doesn't mean you're exempt from the random events though. I combine this more than successfully with dice rolls and having no clue what will happen next, but that is on a short term level, not a long term one. My characters may end up deviating from and changing their goals and destinations because 'life happens', but they still have goals and destinations. Otherwise they would have no reasons for existing.

The stricter 'application' process is also for a good reason: I want to have fun, and I'm not going to have fun with a character who only has hair color, height and name on their profile and nothing else to give me any idea of what they're like and what the chemistry between our characters could be. To me it equals a disinterest in quality - if you're not willing to put some effort into a profile to include some basic aspects of the character, why would you put effort into a roleplay? I'm also not going to have fun with someone who only writes consistent one liners for every post, or focuses primarily on dialogue and barely on actions. And depending on who I RP with, posting schedules need to be compatible too. If someone I want to be heavily involved in a plot with doesn't get back to me in a timely fashion, I don't enjoy that at all.

If there's any reason why I have less roleplay, it's because fewer RPers match up with me. AKA my standards have changed over the years. What I enjoyed when I was 14 was vastly different from what I enjoy now. And that's okay. I accept that, because people change and nothing ever stays the same, I'm bound to end up with a more narrow potential group of players.

I suspect this is the case for a lot of folks out there who feel like RP is dying. Either their preferences change, or the preferences of the groups they socialize with change, leading to fewer opportunities. And that is easily perceived as 'the whole world has stopped RPing' when you measure only your own experiences.

I do agree with you that RP isn't dead or dying. I also agree that the "Playing out" style is a legitimate style of RP that has been around for a very long time. I want to apologize to everyone if anything I said came across as me saying it was not legitimate.


This, to me, sounds like you experience the same issues I was trying to speak about. Though, I think you said it a lot better than I did. Something I see I wasn't clear about is with my statements about going into an RP to "see what happens." I did not mean that the player and or character didn't need to have goals, motivations, drive, etc. That, to me, is a separate issue. What I was trying to say, that you said better is:

The example I would give is a player that, for whatever reason, struggles with or just can not write details about their characters on their own. It does not mean they put in no effort. It only means that effort manifests differently. I will give that they are rarer than the players that are disinterested in quality. But they do exist. I by no means advocate catering to people that have only the barest information on their profiles, I only wanted to give a reason why a player would put effort into role-play when their character profile appeared they put no effort into it.

I would ask, why does change mean you are bound to end up with a more narrow potential group?

Couldn't the reverse then be said? That if the changes in a player's life do not lead them to fewer opportunities, that they could then easily perceive the opposite when measured against their own experiences?

I apologize for misinterpreting then!

Why would someone be capable of roleplaying in detail, but not be able to give some more details on what makes the character specifically that character and interesting? It just feels like a very weird disconnect to me that makes me doubtful of one's ability to tell a story, when they can't even put a basic biography in place, or can't come up with the character's goals etc. I've never met anyone who, with some effort, can't create a nice profile that is sufficient for a roleplay.

Because in my early RP days, I was still exploring roleplaying for variety to figure out what I enjoyed the most. I had a lot of time and energy to try new things all the time, and I had very low expectations from my RP partners, which meant I also played games that weren't always that interesting to me. English is also my 4th language, so the more advanced I grew in my writing, the more poor writing began to bother me. I was working my butt off to write properly, but many native speakers couldn't even form a grammatically correct sentence in the majority of posts. The more experienced I became, the more specific my preferences in roleplaying got as well. That's the change that I see the most in my friends and peers. With time we have less time and less energy, so when we DO pursue the hobby, we're more selective. Selective searches always turn up less results in pretty much every aspect of life, and RP is no different in that regard.

I'm not entirely sure. Just because one person's life doesn't change much, doesn't mean the rest of the world becomes stagnant too. The stuff I RPed a decade and a half ago is completely irrelevant nowadays, and RP etiquette has evolved and new standards are in place. Many of those also differ per location. A lot of groups, sites and places I used to RP at no longer exist, and new ones have emerged in their stead; all of them different, none the same 'as the good old times' so to speak.

In all honesty I don't think role play is dying. I personally find it harder to find folk I click well with and have similar interests. I don't know if it's because people have different styles of writing, age, favourite genres, etc., but I really would like to get to know my partner better when roleplaying.

I see rp as a form of escapism. I enjoy it, and I enjoy seeing my characters get involved in different plots. If I find someone who also enjoys our rp, then sure as hell I wanna be friends with them and get to know them better! But I do feel like most people I stumble upon do not want to know me, and just get stuck into some rp I guess.

I suffer from social anxiety. I actually find RP to be a better way into getting into friendships and such, as I find it hard to be myself I suppose. You're not going to click with every person you meet, either, so you may even have to look for a very long time to find someone you really like and want to have fun with.

Though I gotta say, joining RPR made me find a lot of lovely and sweet people on here who I can talk to normally and plot stuff with and generally just have a nice time with them. While I've been wanting to get into some more slice of life stories in a high fantasy setting, I also want to share more of my adventure plots with people and I have done.

But that's only my opinion I guess. *Shrugs.* At the end of the day, I rp for fun and possibly even make a friend or two from it!

For me, I see it as a form of... hmm... bonding? I don't want to do it just for myself alone, I want to share it with someone. even though it's about me I feel like I need a reason to do it. Or rather, someone to do it with. Which is a must with RP if you think about it, but you know what I mean. Closeness and working together and all that. As for "escaping", I personally found you can't run from yourself no matter the environment. Don't mean to bring you down in saying that. If anything quite the reverse. The more I ran the more the bad caught up. Drama's like a lover I find. Got to give it attention and manage it. Can't fixate in it constantly either though (well you can but it will probably drive you up the wall). I wouldn't call it escaping if you're simply "taking a break from drama". We all need breaks. Can't always manage things either. In that light I view it more as "Doing something fun meantime so I don't go nuts". People work, but they also play games. I manage a lot so I play a lot (games that is). But I never "turn my back". If I do it risks getting stabbed. All this is why I brought up "characters/people" to begin with though. I don't mind "unwinding". Just as long as I'm working with someone on that. Not being used as a tool for it. hence why I compare it to sex.
I used too. Still do somewhat. I think many roleplayers do too. People online in general at least. now? I stay indoors a lot, sure, but I don't avoid people and hide away in isolation anymore (I just happen to be more comfortable online since people that care are there more). Strangers will always need to show they're understanding and are willing to work with me, mind. Not many are that willing IRL. I had to stop caring so much about what people not willing to work with me think about (IRL and online both). Hella scary to meet new people and risk being avoided for being different (I'm different in many ways myself). Hell, I'm scared about such a thing right now after meeting someone today. Practically crapping myself with thoughts of "Will they accept me once they know personal stuff". Which is made worse since I recently got depressed because I was unfriended about a topic that affects me personally that I thought the person was more understanding on. I also crap myself every time I make a post (If only because I type long and detailed replies which people can take offense too. Not like I'm stopping others doing it too. Good example of lack of acceptance with short posters and long posters). But if you hide forever and never open up how will you ever be accepted as you are? Day after a stranger came to me. I was "Sure you want to be around me". He was and still is. Love strangers sometimes. Just not when they don't even bother to try and understand and don't take note of my feelings. It also helps to care less about people that go "You're drama, you're a problem because you're human with feelings and can freak out when emotional". People like that just aren't worth it. People that try to escape can become people like that. Take that for what it's worth. The person I met today said she used to be more IC (actually, it was SL and RL separation but it's close enough to count) but realized later that we are all indeed people behind characters with thoughts and feelings. Which is the only reason I'm even considering opening up with her more later (being understanding that is. The reason could have easily been "I have a more open mind about X topic now after Y events". It ties in with what I want to open up about). Hence why I'm cautious around "IC/SL only". My feelings are taken note off (not just mine but everyone in general, which is more important IMO). I feel more inclined to interact with her. I did so and we get on. Possible with IC only as well, though of course much more difficult. I once was more "in character" in a way, but it was in the form of just typing. I got so anxious and things got to me so much that I became a mute for a bit. Part of the charm of roleplay I suppose. Able to just express actions and just be there without a word. Sometimes you just got to beat fear with the doom stick.
I might get more involved in the site. But my personality can be rather... adult at times. Not "just" adult, mind. I saw posts about that a long time ago. How such people can better fit into the site. I doubt anything's come of it though. Makes me wonder if I can "Fit in". Guess I just got to try and get to know people and find out. PM and groups most likely since I obviously can't do that in "public" here. Can't exactly do that on fetlife either. The people there can be... intolerant of longer posts. And focus too much on specific details without keeping a more open mind (can't make things simple with a lot of groups. Dots connect). Not always though. One fear at a time though. Hmm... Might be worth putting up some of my fetlife writing in the fetlife group here. Good place to start I guess.
You say that like it doesn't amount to much. *Bop* Everyones opinion matters unless it's "Yours doesn't". Never forget that. Getting people to understand why? Not so easy to explain to strangers. Or even close company (or rather, company that should be close). The ones that care are there even if they don't understand though (my dad doesn't get why online is important to me but he got me the net because it's important. Had to TRY to explain and he didn't but he still "got it"). I mention all that due to the anxiety. I also found going "That's your truth on things, I got mine and what's right for me" helps. No one can argue against it otherwise they'd be saying their own perception on things doesn't matter. This logic only applies with the self though, not "on a whole and for others". Thing is, others like to do that. A lot. Doesn't mean they're right though.

Other posts cover most of the rest of the topic. Though I shall note I often "wing it" because the reason is "things can change". I don't like making detailed plans because of that (Knowing what the goals are is another matter). I also find "character descs" are my weakpoint. Perhaps because I have yet to feel like I need someone to do it for perhaps. But then, that's like getting out there and meeting people isn't it? I'm sure I'll get to it some time.