**WARNING - This post contains material that may be offensive to some viewers.**
I write it for multiple reasons, most of them small. But there is one reason that stands above the rest...
I like writing about all of the facets of our minds. Ask anyone who's role played with me, and they'll tell you that I have no boundaries. Ask anyone who's role played the worst of their mind, and they'll tell you I'm probably worse than they are. I don't see role playing as writing in the sense of just a story. I see it as a creation that has come to life. Every one of my characters is, in essence, a real person. They're an entire personality that lives in a box in my brain, and when I start to write them, that box opens and I am replaced by this new personality, if only in the form of what my fingers can type and express.
There is no fade-to-black in real life. You can't just skip past a rape, sex with a friend that you never meant to have sex with, running from a murderer through the woods, or standing on a bridge while discussing your biggest secret (wink to the player in here that understands that specific part!). Of course, there's the possible exception of becoming drunk and doing any of those things...but that doesn't mean the action didn't happen, nor does it mean that you didn't do anything. The perfect role play, for me, is when it evolves into a mirror image of reality, though slightly askew. Show me the darkest parts of your mind just as you would show me the brightest. I would challenge anyone to make that character they'd never expect someone to role play with because it's "too far". Make that murderer that finds my character irresistibly stab-worthy. Make that character that just "can't control himself/herself". Make that part of your mind that you could never bring yourself to be in real life...that's what role play is about. Becoming something you're not.
I write it for multiple reasons, most of them small. But there is one reason that stands above the rest...
I like writing about all of the facets of our minds. Ask anyone who's role played with me, and they'll tell you that I have no boundaries. Ask anyone who's role played the worst of their mind, and they'll tell you I'm probably worse than they are. I don't see role playing as writing in the sense of just a story. I see it as a creation that has come to life. Every one of my characters is, in essence, a real person. They're an entire personality that lives in a box in my brain, and when I start to write them, that box opens and I am replaced by this new personality, if only in the form of what my fingers can type and express.
There is no fade-to-black in real life. You can't just skip past a rape, sex with a friend that you never meant to have sex with, running from a murderer through the woods, or standing on a bridge while discussing your biggest secret (wink to the player in here that understands that specific part!). Of course, there's the possible exception of becoming drunk and doing any of those things...but that doesn't mean the action didn't happen, nor does it mean that you didn't do anything. The perfect role play, for me, is when it evolves into a mirror image of reality, though slightly askew. Show me the darkest parts of your mind just as you would show me the brightest. I would challenge anyone to make that character they'd never expect someone to role play with because it's "too far". Make that murderer that finds my character irresistibly stab-worthy. Make that character that just "can't control himself/herself". Make that part of your mind that you could never bring yourself to be in real life...that's what role play is about. Becoming something you're not.
Just to add an official voice to this thread... By and large, our stance is that so long as everyone is having fun, then everything is excellent. The RPR has no policy against playing smutty or extreme content, whether it is plot-rich or no, so long as the following guidelines are followed:
People enjoy RP for many different reasons, and they enjoy RPing a huge variety of subject matter in a huge variety of styles. We try to be a platform that accomodates as many of those styles, subjects and systems as possible.
- The characters being used are not underaged.
- We expect all members to take every reasonable action to ensure they are keeping their use of the site legal and safe for everyone. For example, if a scene or plot may contain sexual themes, all players should take the time to make sure their RP partners are of legal age.
- You should make certain that everyone is OOCly comfortable with writing/reading your smutty (or scary) content (Some useful phrases: "Are you comfortable playing this out, or would you prefer to fade to black?" "Are you feeling okay with the direction this RP is going? Do you want to keep going, or should we steer the plot back to calmer ground?" "Remember, if the RP ever makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. I promise I will not be upset!")
- Content that exceeds the PG-13ish rating of the public portions of the site need to be taken to private messages, into a properly marked group, or even off site.
People enjoy RP for many different reasons, and they enjoy RPing a huge variety of subject matter in a huge variety of styles. We try to be a platform that accomodates as many of those styles, subjects and systems as possible.
Kim wrote:
Everything Kim said
Boom. Headshot.
So long as everyone has fun and is both safe and legal, have at it.
JayBird wrote:
Boom. Headshot.
So long as everyone has fun and is both safe and legal, have at it.
So long as everyone has fun and is both safe and legal, have at it.
Even though I don't like to write it out myself, I agree with this post.
Why not? ;>
Hehe.
Hehe.
I personally find it rather awkward, but I'm never able to write such stuff alone because I always skip it
I have no experience on the actual thing, but if I want to be a good writer I have to learn and so I RP what I fear and go through with stuff
I RP this stuff with a shy and scared person though, because I myself am like that and so it's easier even if I know nothing
I do it to learn. To write. No interest in such subjects otherwise
I have no experience on the actual thing, but if I want to be a good writer I have to learn and so I RP what I fear and go through with stuff
I RP this stuff with a shy and scared person though, because I myself am like that and so it's easier even if I know nothing
I do it to learn. To write. No interest in such subjects otherwise
Reima wrote:
I personally find it rather awkward, but I'm never able to write such stuff alone because I always skip it
I have no experience on the actual thing, but if I want to be a good writer I have to learn and so I RP what I fear and go through with stuff
I RP this stuff with a shy and scared person though, because I myself am like that and so it's easier even if I know nothing
I do it to learn. To write. No interest in such subjects otherwise
I have no experience on the actual thing, but if I want to be a good writer I have to learn and so I RP what I fear and go through with stuff
I RP this stuff with a shy and scared person though, because I myself am like that and so it's easier even if I know nothing
I do it to learn. To write. No interest in such subjects otherwise
What could a not-shy individual with a bunch of experience in writing erotica do to make it easier and help you out?
Sanne wrote:
I RP smut pretty easily with people. I like writing it in short stories, but I find it interesting to see other people's takes on it as well. I've learned a lot about how different smut can be, and it's fun to explore all sorts of subjects that I generally hadn't thought of myself.
Regarding writing smut with others, it does take a certain mindset and being okay with the fact that other people read it. I don't consider it the same as doing the act with the other person, as I see my character as a separate entity from myself at all times, so I'm good at drawing that line and keeping that border in place. I do always insist that people keep their thoughts to themselves and just focus on the writing all the way through. We're all human, but you don't have to be creepy about it. (If someone is creepy about it despite my clear warnings, it's an instant block, RP over.)
Sexuality is also part of most people's lives, and it is for characters too. Working it into the RP can contribute to their relationships and personalities. It plays a big theme in one of my characters because of her history, so exploring that area is adding massively to her development.
Whether it should be omitted or not is up to how you see and value your stories. If the purpose is to write just a couple of scenes of smut and that's it, end of story, that is just as valid as writing a whole trilogy without ever once mentioning it. All that matters is that you and your RP partner have fun writing it and are doing so after discussing it and finding the middle ground that works for the both of you.
(I also always, always confirm they're 18+ irl because of the legal complications involved regarding RPing smut with minors. No joke, that stuff is scary.)
Regarding writing smut with others, it does take a certain mindset and being okay with the fact that other people read it. I don't consider it the same as doing the act with the other person, as I see my character as a separate entity from myself at all times, so I'm good at drawing that line and keeping that border in place. I do always insist that people keep their thoughts to themselves and just focus on the writing all the way through. We're all human, but you don't have to be creepy about it. (If someone is creepy about it despite my clear warnings, it's an instant block, RP over.)
Sexuality is also part of most people's lives, and it is for characters too. Working it into the RP can contribute to their relationships and personalities. It plays a big theme in one of my characters because of her history, so exploring that area is adding massively to her development.
Whether it should be omitted or not is up to how you see and value your stories. If the purpose is to write just a couple of scenes of smut and that's it, end of story, that is just as valid as writing a whole trilogy without ever once mentioning it. All that matters is that you and your RP partner have fun writing it and are doing so after discussing it and finding the middle ground that works for the both of you.
(I also always, always confirm they're 18+ irl because of the legal complications involved regarding RPing smut with minors. No joke, that stuff is scary.)
This just...explains why for me. Course if someone wants fade to black, I am always up for it and keep the relationship. But it does help understand the dynamic more between the characters.
Sanne wrote:
What could a not-shy individual with a bunch of experience in writing erotica do to make it easier and help you out?
Seconded. Anyone has a question, wants a dude's perspective, or is just plain curious, send me a PM.
And there's no need to be shy or embarrassed. Discretion is my middle name. (It's actually Scott, but whatever)
years of hanging around kink memes and other fandom-oriented communities has pretty much removed any awkwardness i might have had about consuming/discussing/creating smut. it's also given me an appreciation for people who are able to frankly discuss what they like vs. people who react to the subject of sex with a disproportionate amount of squeamishness.
(however, I do distinguish between /frank/ and /creepy or boundary-violating/.)
i don't judge people who don't like to write or discuss sex because of personal preference, but i do hella look down on people who feel the need to clutch their pearls and bluster on about how they're much too dignified to engage in /that/ sort of RP, good heavens! fetch me my fainting couch at once, etc.
anyway, for me personally it's no different than any other type of plotline. i like smut, i like writing, and i occasionally like writing smut. huzzah
(however, I do distinguish between /frank/ and /creepy or boundary-violating/.)
i don't judge people who don't like to write or discuss sex because of personal preference, but i do hella look down on people who feel the need to clutch their pearls and bluster on about how they're much too dignified to engage in /that/ sort of RP, good heavens! fetch me my fainting couch at once, etc.
anyway, for me personally it's no different than any other type of plotline. i like smut, i like writing, and i occasionally like writing smut. huzzah
Sqd wrote:
i don't judge people who don't like to write or discuss sex because of personal preference, but i do hella look down on people who feel the need to clutch their pearls and bluster on about how they're much too dignified to engage in /that/ sort of RP, good heavens! fetch me my fainting couch at once, etc.
I giggled a lot at this, thank you lmao.
I agree though. I've had times where people genuinely looked down on me as if what I was doing was shameful and they were better than me for staying 'pure' or 'only doing FtB' etc. I've never hidden that I write E-RP because I'm comfortable with myself and with my writing and preferences, but sometimes I still catch flack for it every now and then. Especially when it concerns a topic that can be considered a fetish, oh boy.
While it's totally okay to have preferences and not participating because it's just not your thing, you don't have to denounce the preferences of others to make your stance superior. As long as people follow what Kim said, nobody gets hurt, and everyone has fun, so it should be no big deal. I think a majority of smut players are just as happy to not play smut, which I think is excellent and pretty normal all around.
Dragoncat wrote:
I'm someone who's written smut before, but I think I'd feel super awkward writing it with someone else. How do people handle it? Why do some people prefer it over fade to black, when there's another real person on the other end?
The first part is easy. Get to know the person I'm smutting with. Or at least have a really good first meeting and then having things just happen because you're both awesome.
These days though I have to be close to someone to even roleplay with them at all. I started seeing it a lot like sex/yiff in general (eg: People most often "just do it" without getting to know each other).
As for fade to black, that's something I'd never do. And if anyone feels like they need to do that with me I'd be asking myself if they're even comfortable enough with me. I enjoy roleplays with a combination of story and smut, and perhaps only those type of roleplays due to nothing being "off the table". Do I like just smut though? Without plot? Very, very rarely. Do I like just plot? Well if someone says to me "We're not doing what you enjoy" then the simple denial of that (or anything really) is an instant mood killer and simply displays a lack of willingness to even try something for another. And since I only roleplay with people I'm even remotely close with then that covers that. I'm an adaptable guy. I can go with most plot lines as long as it's in the realms of immersion (similar yet separate from realism). And I don't mind someone else having some control over the direction of a general plot (provided they don't god mod of course). But a simple "Nope" and I'm out of there. Doesn't matter what the noped thing is. It's placing restrictions and expecting my character to comply with that. I don't control my character because I "wing it". Random things happen and I type it out. If I can't type it out... well, it would be like distracting someone when they're in the zone when writing a good book.
Ultimately it's about freedom to do as I will. And I go along with whatever is thrown my way, even if I might not like it on a personal level because it can all mix with other good stuff and make for good plot/smut on a whole. eg: I might not enjoy "X thing" but would nevertheless roleplay things out which would establish more character. Characters not getting on can make for good plot. And it's something I go along with, provided someone doesn't take advantage of that to get their own rocks off alone (eg: Controlling all the plot).
I am so upset I missed the early points of this discussion! T_T
This entire topic has highlighted so many great points already, so I'll certainly try not to repeat them
I engage in M or X rated RP's for, what I believe to be, a rather simple reason. All the topics involved are what surrounds many of our lives already. Sometimes for the good, but sometimes for the bad. In my opinion though, many of the negative subjects such as Rape, Alcoholism, or Drug Use (all for starters)... are in fact really bad things just in of themselves! What is it that us Writers do when we log on and RP though? We shape the stories in ways so we can have fun with them! Thats the power of these twisted realities we create! Places we can separate ourselves from the horrific truths of some of these subjects, and instead bring up something more powerful and even fun with them! (Speaking about all M and X rate topics now, though still including those mentioned above!)
"Enkeli, how can you make some of these a good thing?"
~ Ok, agreed, some of these topics will never be 'Good' just as they are. Messages and highlights from them, however, can be beautiful things, especially depending on the way some of us IRL have grown up and lived our lives!
My Parents, both alcoholics when I was growing up, but having now recovered, are very close parts of my life! It is because of that, scenes with characters popping the bottles and boozing it up, they actually bring me comfort when you can see the end result of some of these stories, and everything just works out fine! Responsible drinking, or maybe even irresponsible drinking... but a non-horrific outcome because of it. It touches deep at me on a personal level, as I am sure so many of us have our own reasons to enjoy specific scenes!
...and so... why do we RP X rated scenes? I think that question is no different than asking... "Why do you RP at all?"
Its for the fun! The enjoyment! ...or for me, the Escape!
I create such strange and unique characters, and even weirder scenes, because it feels good to just disconnect and take logic in your own hands! I RP M and X rated scenes, because they are part of life, and I'd rather see all the topics involved flow and steer in directions I enjoy, rather than the more horrid ones that scar many peoples lives. I do not Fade to Black, because you can't just turn these things off. At the end of the day, IRL, they have still happened. By the end of your RP scene, they have still also happened. (Unless you plot twist the heck out of that story
) So, I see things through, because now I know how it all happened. I know the gritty details of the violence, the sex, the emotion... or maybe, the comforting details of those things instead! They become 'Our' story as the writers of these scenes, and I wholeheartedly agree with anyone who has already mentioned Stopping a RP because you're uncomfortable or Don't Enjoy something about it! So, I RP these scenes to make sure they go ways that I am ok with. A more blissful taking of them, rather than than the scarring nature some of these topics may have already inflicted on some people...
If no one minds reading one last bit here, I have 2 personal RP experiences I'd love to share, because I feel others would really appreciate them! They are about trust with one another as fellow RPers, and fit perfectly with this whole discussion I feel!
~ This first little story is about 'Rape' within the plot of a RP. I have always been a person who found it hard to fit rape into any of my stories. It had never happened before up until recently, and honestly, I am glad it did! Its such a hard topic for many people to speak of, let alone, RP it out! By the end of it though, it was not about the act itself. We did not FtB the scene at all, but it was not about the gritty, heart sinking details of the abuse happening. The ending was the power of the victim, and how after it was over, after the situation was turned around, how strong that character was through it all! The victim came out on top by the end, and that shining moment of overcoming the odds, and personal strength was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in one of my RP's!
~ Second one here goes off what people mentioned about getting to know your partners, and fitting certain topics in when they are appropriate! A friend of mine here on RPR, we have been using 2 of our characters together now in the same story for over a Year, In Real Time! From the beginning of the RP over a year ago, there has always been sexual undertones and suggestive hints within, but, never had the scene become explicit or smutty in any way. It took over a Year of us RPing these characters together, building the story and the relationship, until finally things heated up, so to speak. The time put into these characters though, knowing this even during the time the scene was being RP'ed out, made it amazing! You could feel the actual emotion between the characters, because the time was actually taken to make it work the right way! Such a fun scene, and where it was all captured would have been missed if it were to FtB.
Im going to stop rambling on here, but I loved this discussion very much! I woke up this morning and read the whole thread before posting here myself! haha
We are all Writers! These are our stories, our worlds, our characters! They mean so much to many of us! They can even mean so much to others as well, with these bonds we make as RPers! They are shared experiences that some people might not ever understand, yet, we all get to sit back and enjoy the Giggles!
Why do people RP x Rated Scenes?
...Why do we RP at all?
I know why I do. Its because I love it... and I love all of you too!
I spend as much time on RPR as I do with my RL friends and family. Im my mind, this wonderful place is a second home, and you're all my CrAzY Extended Family!
I RP for Me. I RP for You.
~Enkeli
This entire topic has highlighted so many great points already, so I'll certainly try not to repeat them
I engage in M or X rated RP's for, what I believe to be, a rather simple reason. All the topics involved are what surrounds many of our lives already. Sometimes for the good, but sometimes for the bad. In my opinion though, many of the negative subjects such as Rape, Alcoholism, or Drug Use (all for starters)... are in fact really bad things just in of themselves! What is it that us Writers do when we log on and RP though? We shape the stories in ways so we can have fun with them! Thats the power of these twisted realities we create! Places we can separate ourselves from the horrific truths of some of these subjects, and instead bring up something more powerful and even fun with them! (Speaking about all M and X rate topics now, though still including those mentioned above!)
"Enkeli, how can you make some of these a good thing?"
~ Ok, agreed, some of these topics will never be 'Good' just as they are. Messages and highlights from them, however, can be beautiful things, especially depending on the way some of us IRL have grown up and lived our lives!
My Parents, both alcoholics when I was growing up, but having now recovered, are very close parts of my life! It is because of that, scenes with characters popping the bottles and boozing it up, they actually bring me comfort when you can see the end result of some of these stories, and everything just works out fine! Responsible drinking, or maybe even irresponsible drinking... but a non-horrific outcome because of it. It touches deep at me on a personal level, as I am sure so many of us have our own reasons to enjoy specific scenes!
...and so... why do we RP X rated scenes? I think that question is no different than asking... "Why do you RP at all?"
Its for the fun! The enjoyment! ...or for me, the Escape!
I create such strange and unique characters, and even weirder scenes, because it feels good to just disconnect and take logic in your own hands! I RP M and X rated scenes, because they are part of life, and I'd rather see all the topics involved flow and steer in directions I enjoy, rather than the more horrid ones that scar many peoples lives. I do not Fade to Black, because you can't just turn these things off. At the end of the day, IRL, they have still happened. By the end of your RP scene, they have still also happened. (Unless you plot twist the heck out of that story
) So, I see things through, because now I know how it all happened. I know the gritty details of the violence, the sex, the emotion... or maybe, the comforting details of those things instead! They become 'Our' story as the writers of these scenes, and I wholeheartedly agree with anyone who has already mentioned Stopping a RP because you're uncomfortable or Don't Enjoy something about it! So, I RP these scenes to make sure they go ways that I am ok with. A more blissful taking of them, rather than than the scarring nature some of these topics may have already inflicted on some people...If no one minds reading one last bit here, I have 2 personal RP experiences I'd love to share, because I feel others would really appreciate them! They are about trust with one another as fellow RPers, and fit perfectly with this whole discussion I feel!
~ This first little story is about 'Rape' within the plot of a RP. I have always been a person who found it hard to fit rape into any of my stories. It had never happened before up until recently, and honestly, I am glad it did! Its such a hard topic for many people to speak of, let alone, RP it out! By the end of it though, it was not about the act itself. We did not FtB the scene at all, but it was not about the gritty, heart sinking details of the abuse happening. The ending was the power of the victim, and how after it was over, after the situation was turned around, how strong that character was through it all! The victim came out on top by the end, and that shining moment of overcoming the odds, and personal strength was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in one of my RP's!
~ Second one here goes off what people mentioned about getting to know your partners, and fitting certain topics in when they are appropriate! A friend of mine here on RPR, we have been using 2 of our characters together now in the same story for over a Year, In Real Time! From the beginning of the RP over a year ago, there has always been sexual undertones and suggestive hints within, but, never had the scene become explicit or smutty in any way. It took over a Year of us RPing these characters together, building the story and the relationship, until finally things heated up, so to speak. The time put into these characters though, knowing this even during the time the scene was being RP'ed out, made it amazing! You could feel the actual emotion between the characters, because the time was actually taken to make it work the right way! Such a fun scene, and where it was all captured would have been missed if it were to FtB.
Im going to stop rambling on here, but I loved this discussion very much! I woke up this morning and read the whole thread before posting here myself! haha
We are all Writers! These are our stories, our worlds, our characters! They mean so much to many of us! They can even mean so much to others as well, with these bonds we make as RPers! They are shared experiences that some people might not ever understand, yet, we all get to sit back and enjoy the Giggles!
Why do people RP x Rated Scenes?
...Why do we RP at all?
I know why I do. Its because I love it... and I love all of you too!
I spend as much time on RPR as I do with my RL friends and family. Im my mind, this wonderful place is a second home, and you're all my CrAzY Extended Family!
I RP for Me. I RP for You.
~Enkeli
This is such an interesting question; and I enjoyed the introspection it provoked to find an answer. But I do have an answer, or rather, answers.
It was stated earlier that there is a large market for plotless smut, and this is very true! I have been a part of sofurry for some time now, and I have always envied the larger writers and their followers who were willing to pay such large amounts of money for their stories. I am still a college student and I in debt, and I believe I would be better off with food stamps sometimes.
But that wasn't why I started writing smut as a hobby, strangely enough. I wrote my first piece to rid myself of my frustration towards another person. I won't say what they were doing, but I will say that they did it quite often and it was unwanted. So I put my discontent into words and created my first story involving their character and I gave that character exactly what they wanted in the most ironic fashion. My revenge could be best described as "Be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it." I even asked the player if I could write about their character, and they gladly accepted the idea.
But that piece led to another five, because I wasn't done, and eventually my anger waned. And then, I thought of having one of my characters write about others that she had encountered and it led to a constant scene starter. Characters would ask for her extra copies and her work was distributed outwards to the community. I was even asked a few times to write stories about other characters and I did so as a gift.
Then I tried to finance myself a little by writing, but unfortunately, I wasn't successful. My schooling keeps away from writing too often, which doesn't help with my popularity amongst readers.
But! Writing with another person that you -know- will keep you busy is a wonderful thing. I find it easier to write smut when I have a small audience. It's almost like performing, in a way.
Now I write smut to practice my scenecraft, because it -is- a different scene type. If I am to ever receive funding for my writing, to an audience that prefers plotless smut, I should be well practiced.
It was stated earlier that there is a large market for plotless smut, and this is very true! I have been a part of sofurry for some time now, and I have always envied the larger writers and their followers who were willing to pay such large amounts of money for their stories. I am still a college student and I in debt, and I believe I would be better off with food stamps sometimes.
But that wasn't why I started writing smut as a hobby, strangely enough. I wrote my first piece to rid myself of my frustration towards another person. I won't say what they were doing, but I will say that they did it quite often and it was unwanted. So I put my discontent into words and created my first story involving their character and I gave that character exactly what they wanted in the most ironic fashion. My revenge could be best described as "Be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it." I even asked the player if I could write about their character, and they gladly accepted the idea.
But that piece led to another five, because I wasn't done, and eventually my anger waned. And then, I thought of having one of my characters write about others that she had encountered and it led to a constant scene starter. Characters would ask for her extra copies and her work was distributed outwards to the community. I was even asked a few times to write stories about other characters and I did so as a gift.
Then I tried to finance myself a little by writing, but unfortunately, I wasn't successful. My schooling keeps away from writing too often, which doesn't help with my popularity amongst readers.
But! Writing with another person that you -know- will keep you busy is a wonderful thing. I find it easier to write smut when I have a small audience. It's almost like performing, in a way.
Now I write smut to practice my scenecraft, because it -is- a different scene type. If I am to ever receive funding for my writing, to an audience that prefers plotless smut, I should be well practiced.
Not much that I can add to the conversation that hasn't been said except for personal opinion. I'm also REALLY tired right now and probably shouldn't be adding my two cents in this mindspace.
My personal thoughts on it is a little confusing but I'm complicated like that. I see a pretty wide divide between sex for the sake of sex and sincere romance that leads up to passion between two people that feel that close. I also get very into my character's heads and tend to feel what they feel, so if a romantic relation develops between the characters, then that means that the player, while they're not quiiiiiite someone I'd say I love, they're definitely friends I'd never abandon.
It doesn't stop me from pursuing one-shots sometimes but that's for sites other than RPR.
Sex, kinks, ect. ect., it's ALL about trust for me. Trust they're good people, trust they do like you that much, and so on. Naturally the best kinky RP I've ever done has been with my RL beloved because of that, but all the same I've had amazing times with friends who have managed to win my heart in that fashion.
My personal thoughts on it is a little confusing but I'm complicated like that. I see a pretty wide divide between sex for the sake of sex and sincere romance that leads up to passion between two people that feel that close. I also get very into my character's heads and tend to feel what they feel, so if a romantic relation develops between the characters, then that means that the player, while they're not quiiiiiite someone I'd say I love, they're definitely friends I'd never abandon.
It doesn't stop me from pursuing one-shots sometimes but that's for sites other than RPR.
Sex, kinks, ect. ect., it's ALL about trust for me. Trust they're good people, trust they do like you that much, and so on. Naturally the best kinky RP I've ever done has been with my RL beloved because of that, but all the same I've had amazing times with friends who have managed to win my heart in that fashion.
I think it should be stated that while it isn't always easy to give a real, personalized account of why you yourself roleplay erotic smut scenarios, it is certainly an appreciated aspect that actually answers the question as it was stated just in the attempt. For that, I want to thank everyone for sharing a bit of themselves and their experiences - hopefully to the benefit of those who aren't so open-minded, may have little to no expertise in the subject, or who would like to know more.
If one person's curiosity can lead to the sharing of such wonderful, individual viewpoints - agreeable or not - then I think this subject has been a huge success, and I hope the original poster has at least gotten something of use out of the endeavor. Even if it didn't change the stance held at the time of asking. And that goes double for anyone who just wandered in and had something or nothing to share for its own sake. I'm very happy to have taken part in this in some small way. While it isn't required that you reveal your innermost opinions and scenarios, I want to give thanks to those that have; you've all taught me a few things and it's made me feel more assured in my desire to write with others - x-rated and otherwise.
Best of luck, each of you all, and happy rping!
If one person's curiosity can lead to the sharing of such wonderful, individual viewpoints - agreeable or not - then I think this subject has been a huge success, and I hope the original poster has at least gotten something of use out of the endeavor. Even if it didn't change the stance held at the time of asking. And that goes double for anyone who just wandered in and had something or nothing to share for its own sake. I'm very happy to have taken part in this in some small way. While it isn't required that you reveal your innermost opinions and scenarios, I want to give thanks to those that have; you've all taught me a few things and it's made me feel more assured in my desire to write with others - x-rated and otherwise.
Best of luck, each of you all, and happy rping!
It's funny rape was mentioned. It's not just a roleplay thing but also a IRL one in terms of "rapeplay". Even among victims of the real thing. Which I'll not get too into detail about here. However, there are details in both areas worth taking note off. Before that though I have made some writing material about "fearplay" and "rapeplay" on fetlife if anyone is curious on the topics and want to ask for it through PM (It's nothing adult but the topics writing is detailed about the topics. Fair warning there). Areas I have a personal interest in on the receiving end, in more ways then one. (I'm making it very clear that there is a large difference between "forced rape" and "rape play". The former has ZERO choice on the matter. The later has more). I'm actually far more interested in "fearplay" which ties in with "mental masochism" myself. eg: I know how to handle fear in general. With others and myself. Hence it's my favorite roleplay topic. And I have had some very, very bad experiences with fear in the past. With that in mind I ask you this. Does keeping such a thing in mind help one be more or less prepared when it is kept in mind? How does it help in life? It's helped me plenty, that's for sure.
Now how does all of this connect? How can people that have even been raped themselves get into something like rapeplay? How can anyone make a post about bad things when bad things happen in real life? The answer is very simple. Because they shape us. They define who we are. They define us and our characters. Ever seen that Star Trek episode where one of the characters go "Pain is a part of who I am. Live with the bad as well as the good"? That's us. Every single one of us. And we share it with others. The pain. The joy. The happiness and the sadness. Bad tends to come first and good can come from bad. Bad can also come from good which can become be turned back to good again. Without that change there is only stagnation. Without drama and violence in a film, reasons to be good, then it's all meaningless. At least in my mind. I'd rather have all the good, but for that to happen I MUST have the bad.
Far more importantly though, IMO, it's about CHOICE. The choice to put yourself in a "bad" situation (be it in roleplay or getting whipped IRL). Knowing full well what you're getting yourself into. And that choice can even be removed "at the current point in time" as long as "removal of that choice" is established beforehand, be it in roleplay or between a dom and sub IRL (which I love in roleplay too). THAT'S the difference. Not in Dom and sub/BDSM alone, not with rape and roleplay alone, but with EVERYTHING. As well as ANYTHING. And it's not even about trust sometimes. Though it often is naturally. Sometimes people choose to do bad things because others try to remove that choice though. IRL and roleplay alike. You can choose to be around someone in a bad way. You can not push someone away when you feel bad yourself and are afraid of yourself or/and them (Hello ex who I'm now on good terms with because of that). It's simply about "I have a say in this. I can let these bad things happen, either with me or around me". Doesn't matter if it's in person or in character. Doesn't matter if it's self harm or getting help. I choose all of that for myself. Others can want me to do something different. I'll keep it in mind but it's still my choice. If they enjoy doing something bad to me I'll let it happen if I want too. Not before. Accept if someone's around me when I'm in a bad way then I let them do anything to me because they're there for me. Probably got that from my ex, who I looked past the bad with. It's not necessarily a bad thing (even if it can be when people don't care at all). It simply means "Any action can be easily forgiven as long as it's not deciding what I need". Just like how there's god modding with people "acting like they know better". Again, the environment/area is irreverent for me. And this applies to much more then what I speak of. Ever been in a bad way? ever felt like you wanted to do something bad? Ever felt like you needed it? When someone else told you you needed something else?
There's "bad" and then there's bad. None want the last kind of bad, I once thought. But what if... what if you felt like you needed to be that bad to know someone is there? To know you won't be avoided for it? Like an evil IC character? That plays a large part in it for me. RP and dom/sub wise. And everything else wise. And in others I see it applies in general too. Things go better when people are there when bad things happen. Unless that bad thing is "I make your choices or avoid you because you're like this". Which can be translated at "I make your posts or don't roeplay at all" in RP terms. Choice. Choice to be around bad, To be there despite it, even because of it. To not be avoided for it.
There's also the topic of "It's not rape if you post back". I used to think this was true. But sometimes it's like breathing. How many "let" godmodding happen? Yet it happens. And you don't always think when typing. It's not always as simple as just walking away when bad things (rape and otherwise) just happen either. Either in "person" or in character. Some simply live to exist in the environment they are currently in, like with me. However, you do have to "feel the need to type". So even if not wanted, regardless of the topic in question, if it's need to reply then... it's a need? I dunno. Brick wall on that one. All I know is that I need to type even at bad times. Sometimes especially so. And have seen this in others. Much like how people can talk a lot in life and not be able to shut up when they panic and freak out (a thing online for me). Though in that example that would be words and not actions. Both apply however. Seen people post a lot of actions when under pressure. To do so or not is more "natural instinct" then choice IMO. You can still make the effort though. Regardless of which it is. But... do you want too? Do you have too? And even if you do, do you feel the need too? Wanting and needing isn't a choice. Hence my "natural instinct" example. And as I said earlier, we all know how deciding for others ends up. Tell me not to type and guess. What. Happens. Is it "bad"? Only if you avoid me for it.
Now how does all of this connect? How can people that have even been raped themselves get into something like rapeplay? How can anyone make a post about bad things when bad things happen in real life? The answer is very simple. Because they shape us. They define who we are. They define us and our characters. Ever seen that Star Trek episode where one of the characters go "Pain is a part of who I am. Live with the bad as well as the good"? That's us. Every single one of us. And we share it with others. The pain. The joy. The happiness and the sadness. Bad tends to come first and good can come from bad. Bad can also come from good which can become be turned back to good again. Without that change there is only stagnation. Without drama and violence in a film, reasons to be good, then it's all meaningless. At least in my mind. I'd rather have all the good, but for that to happen I MUST have the bad.
Far more importantly though, IMO, it's about CHOICE. The choice to put yourself in a "bad" situation (be it in roleplay or getting whipped IRL). Knowing full well what you're getting yourself into. And that choice can even be removed "at the current point in time" as long as "removal of that choice" is established beforehand, be it in roleplay or between a dom and sub IRL (which I love in roleplay too). THAT'S the difference. Not in Dom and sub/BDSM alone, not with rape and roleplay alone, but with EVERYTHING. As well as ANYTHING. And it's not even about trust sometimes. Though it often is naturally. Sometimes people choose to do bad things because others try to remove that choice though. IRL and roleplay alike. You can choose to be around someone in a bad way. You can not push someone away when you feel bad yourself and are afraid of yourself or/and them (Hello ex who I'm now on good terms with because of that). It's simply about "I have a say in this. I can let these bad things happen, either with me or around me". Doesn't matter if it's in person or in character. Doesn't matter if it's self harm or getting help. I choose all of that for myself. Others can want me to do something different. I'll keep it in mind but it's still my choice. If they enjoy doing something bad to me I'll let it happen if I want too. Not before. Accept if someone's around me when I'm in a bad way then I let them do anything to me because they're there for me. Probably got that from my ex, who I looked past the bad with. It's not necessarily a bad thing (even if it can be when people don't care at all). It simply means "Any action can be easily forgiven as long as it's not deciding what I need". Just like how there's god modding with people "acting like they know better". Again, the environment/area is irreverent for me. And this applies to much more then what I speak of. Ever been in a bad way? ever felt like you wanted to do something bad? Ever felt like you needed it? When someone else told you you needed something else?
There's "bad" and then there's bad. None want the last kind of bad, I once thought. But what if... what if you felt like you needed to be that bad to know someone is there? To know you won't be avoided for it? Like an evil IC character? That plays a large part in it for me. RP and dom/sub wise. And everything else wise. And in others I see it applies in general too. Things go better when people are there when bad things happen. Unless that bad thing is "I make your choices or avoid you because you're like this". Which can be translated at "I make your posts or don't roeplay at all" in RP terms. Choice. Choice to be around bad, To be there despite it, even because of it. To not be avoided for it.
There's also the topic of "It's not rape if you post back". I used to think this was true. But sometimes it's like breathing. How many "let" godmodding happen? Yet it happens. And you don't always think when typing. It's not always as simple as just walking away when bad things (rape and otherwise) just happen either. Either in "person" or in character. Some simply live to exist in the environment they are currently in, like with me. However, you do have to "feel the need to type". So even if not wanted, regardless of the topic in question, if it's need to reply then... it's a need? I dunno. Brick wall on that one. All I know is that I need to type even at bad times. Sometimes especially so. And have seen this in others. Much like how people can talk a lot in life and not be able to shut up when they panic and freak out (a thing online for me). Though in that example that would be words and not actions. Both apply however. Seen people post a lot of actions when under pressure. To do so or not is more "natural instinct" then choice IMO. You can still make the effort though. Regardless of which it is. But... do you want too? Do you have too? And even if you do, do you feel the need too? Wanting and needing isn't a choice. Hence my "natural instinct" example. And as I said earlier, we all know how deciding for others ends up. Tell me not to type and guess. What. Happens. Is it "bad"? Only if you avoid me for it.
I feel like this thread is a little bit progressive in the way it depicts sexual content. I personally have never written smut in a roleplay but I see no reason for it to be looked upon as something taboo. There are people here who roleplay with male on male characters, furry characters and all manner of strange and mixed concepts. It shouldn't be a matter to widely discuss. I'm only saying this really because I see a lot of comments here with people justifying why they do it. It shouldn't be that way. You shouldn't have to justify why you do a certain thing just to avoid being looked strangely upon. When you are doing a roleplay, you're actively writing a story with the other person. That's all it is, a story. Anything beyond that is only in your mind. I can fully understand why some people prefer to do roleplays only with people comfortable with sexual content, the reason for this most of the time isn't actually so that they can have an abundance of smut but merely because it opens more doors. Regardless of what people say, they have limits and sometimes they may not be aware of it. I'd much rather write a story with someone comfortable with smut than a person who has a long list of things they don't want to cross. A roleplay is a story, your characters are in the story, not you. As long as the plot progresses and isn't withheld at any moment due to the scenes, there should be absolutely no problems with it.
Honestly, when I hear people state that they aren't comfortable with smut, it really just seems petty to me.
Honestly, when I hear people state that they aren't comfortable with smut, it really just seems petty to me.
Judithea wrote:
It shouldn't be a matter to widely discuss. I'm only saying this really because I see a lot of comments here with people justifying why they do it. It shouldn't be that way. You shouldn't have to justify why you do a certain thing just to avoid being looked strangely upon.
(...)
Honestly, when I hear people state that they aren't comfortable with smut, it really just seems petty to me.
(...)
Honestly, when I hear people state that they aren't comfortable with smut, it really just seems petty to me.
I'm a little confused, so I might have missed your point, but that last line in your post is what a lot of people who RP smut get. "It just seems really ___ to me" is exactly the sort of thing I get when others are being intolerant of my preferences. People have assumed that because I RP smut (and sometimes actively seek it out specifically) I'm some sort of pervert who's only interested in pursuing that sort of RP for personal gratification. It doesn't feel nice, most especially because it's not true. That is frustrating to me.
Saying that people who choose not to RP smut due to being uncomfortable with it are petty, is no better than what I get thrown at me either. People have lots of legit reasons not to like smut, one of the more prominent ones being a history of sexual abuse that makes the topic highly uncomfortable, sometimes even going so far as anxiety inducing, or a lack of interest in sex in general (perhaps due to their own sexuality). Some just plain don't like to write it out because it feels weird to them. I don't see that as petty. Those are just people's feelings, and they're as valid as those of people who do actively RP smut and like it.
Personal preferences are just that, personal. It would be nice if we could accept those without insinuating things about one another. I'm tired of being called a pervert and I don't think people who don't RP smut are fond of being called things either.
Sanne wrote:
I see what you're saying, but it also falls exactly into the lane that I was going along. The fact that smut = pervert to some people is a ludicrous and foolish thought that should be completely removed. But while that's true that people do have their preferences and some people just may not enjoy writing things like that, no one is ever forced into a smut roleplay. Which is actually something that I like about people who write smut. They always tell you beforehand to prevent some easily hurt individuals from falling into something they may not feel comfortable with. It's actually always the non-smut writers who complain about this. A person puts up a story that seems interesting to some people but the story has the sexual content tag below it. Instead of just leaving the story, certain people comment on it to try to persuade the OP to do fade to black scenes. Can you see the stupidity in that statement? The idea of the RP interests them but because they don't want to do any stories that have sexual content, they decide to try to change the OP's statement.
Granted, it's one thing if you don't know how to write it and prefer to stay away from it due to a lack of knowledge but staying clear from it just because of a few of the issues you listed seems absolutely nonsensical to me. So would those same people start having anxiety if a sex scene came up in a show they were watching or a book they were reading? That is petty. You can phrase it in a multitude of words and generate all the different outcomes you would like but at the end of the day, it's always the same.
Note, I'm specifically talking about people who stay clear of roleplays just due to the fact that they have "Sexual Scenes may be present" in the description. Every single one of the stories I've been in have that specific tag yet I've still never done a roleplay with sexual content on this site. Which is what people don't seem to get. Sexual scenes being applicable in a story doesn't necessarily mean that it is definitely going to be a factor, heck if you're a good story writer, you could easily steer away from the situation if you don't feel like getting into it.
But as an aside, you've touched on a topic that I think has to be addressed on this site. Certain people here take the concept of roleplay far too seriously. I've seen people writing posts stating that they had an anxiety attack because somebody didn't like their character or because of something small as a person not replying to their stories. I honestly love the idea of roleplaying in text form because it allows you to quite literally write and create your own story in which you decide the outcome, but again, that's all it is. Many people just can't seem to disconnect themselves from their character and grasp the concept that the two are wholly different beings with different thoughts.
I honestly think that there should be some more notice towards that idea to prevent all those loose threads that are posted constantly on the smalltalk forum which ironically always reach the same conclusion.
Point is, if you're offended by the idea of sexual content in a story then the story can't reach it's full potential.
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