Forums » RP Discussion » Your OCs as The Onion headlines

Furorem - "Wolf beast spotted raiding libraries of dictionaries. Sorrowful roar heard later that evening."

Matvei - "Local STALKER mistakes glow sticks for artifacts."

Kray Beach - "Local witch attempts to summon demon, instead summons Doom Guy."

Ardavan Torchlight - "Thaumaturge accidentally utters word of power at meeting. Accidentally wedgies village Chieftain."

Ellie: "God freaks self out by lying awake contemplating own immortality"

Shaun: "Magical girlfriend transmutes guilt into precious stones"

Alice: "Townsfolk strongly prefer person's werewolf incarnation"

Jodie: "Study: Meerkats have dark, sinister side"

Rudy: "Friendly dragon added to US arsenal"

Some more:

Jin- "Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet"

Mallory again- "New Parenting Trend Involves Just Handing Kids A Bulleted List Of Things To Accomplish By 30"

Orial- "Man Wakes From Nightmare Relieved It Only Expression Of His Real-Life Problems"

Shy- "Man, I Wish That Sniper Would Go Away"

Octavius- "Look At Them, The Fools-- All Dancing To My Malevolent Tune"

I either can't find actual Onion headlines or am too lazy, so I made them up...that okay?

Cerai, Leo, and Samba: "Human family adopts a catboy. Also? Dragons."

Clipse and Umbren: "In a world of perpetual twilight, a girl and her uncle are surviving after the rest of their family was killed."

Merc: "Teenage boy either doesn't care about girls or is just grumpy or both. Also his parents are part of a crime organization."

Eleak Carter: "BATMAN IS REAL, GUYS!!!!"

Adokas Elran: "The SECRET Lord of the Rings Character" (That one just sounds like a Film Theory Title)

Wonder-Gamer: "Random Cosplayer Saves the City"

Okay, I had to speak up here with what I found as well.

Lexi: Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

Rekushi: Woman's Primal Instincts Activate To Protect Nearly Finished Glass Of Wine From Approaching Server

Creatia: 12-Year Old Girl Who Got Her Hair Curled For Spring Dance The Very Image Of Old Hollywood Glamour

Maxwell: The Safest Place To Be During A Tornado Is In My Arms

Alexander/Meliere: If I Could Do It All Over Again, I'd Have A Few Possessions

Good work everyone, lmao, these are fun to read.

Some more:

Lorraine- "Childish 12-Year-Old Still Believes In Father"
Delylus- "Mom And Dad, I'm Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You. So Don't Try Anything"
Ebonoch- "Sometimes I Feel Like I'm The Only One Who Gives A Damn About Rich, Lustrous Hair"
Jericho- "Deadly New Virus Found To Be 'Real Squiggly'"
Iskander- "Area Man Pronounced Dead On The Inside"