Forums » Smalltalk » 1x1 RP

So I have never done a 1x1 roleplay before. I put something up and someone has answered saying they might be a little interested. I am not sure how to go at this. I have bad anxiety so I am nervous to PM them and tell them this is my first time roleplaying in a while and my first time doing a 1x1 in a long time. I know this is my anxiety, but I am afraid they will just say never mind and leave. I guess my question is how do you usually message someone back for a 1x1? I hate jumping into things without knowing what I'm doing or having any ideas.

The way that I usually get around my anxiety whenever it rears its ugly head is to sit down and think of the worst possible consequence that could happen, and then decide on whether or not it's worth the risk. Especially in this case, the worst that could happen is that they say "never mind" and you don't get to RP. Or you could not ask, in which case you don't get to RP.

Once you can convince yourself of that, you should have a much easier time of it. Good luck!

I second Proxima! By not asking you already have a 'no' as your answer. You can only gain a yes if they're interested, but you can't lose anything from asking them. Communicating that you're feeling rusty and looking for a warm-up RP to get back into the game is very acceptable and a good thing to do so your RP partner knows what's up.

The trick to dealing with this kind of anxiety is to realistically look at the situation. What's the worst part of this scenario? Them saying 'No thank you' and being on their way. Is this really a bad thing? It's not a reflection on you not being good enough or not liked; RPing is about combining real life with a hobby and finding people who match your interests well to have a good time. Sometimes this means RP isn't always possible or works well between two people.

Reasons people say no thanks:

• They're swamped with school/work or other real life situations
• They have so many RPs going on it's impossible to fit another one in
• They might have something particular in mind that is reserved for someone else with the character you chose
• They can tell their interests don't match yours and nobody will have fun playing because of that (which sucks!)

Anxiety is very good at making us feel like 'less than' when we deal with rejection of any kind, and making our perceived inferiority the reason for the rejection. I've found that this is usually a lie. We end up fabricating disproportionately huge and negative reasons that make us feel bad (because that's what anxiety does) while the actual truth is extremely different. It's very important to understand this and try to see truth instead of listening to that nagging anxiety voice! Rejection does not equal 'I'm not good enough' or 'They must hate me because...'. It's usually a very benign reason like I listed above.
This is basically what life is about, scary as it sounds! Nobody has all the answers or knows what they're doing, instead people focus on learning how to handle unknown situations. Consider RP requests a good practice for that! Nobody expects you to have all the answers, but you can definitely ask questions or do research to find the answers when they're needed. That's the most important thing, and an invaluable skill in life as a whole. In dealing with my own anxiety I've basically taught myself that every person in the world operates on unkowns, and they generally don't know more than I do. They just figured out how to get the info they need to function and accomplish tasks.

(It's a lot like IT, most of it is focused on researching and finding answers instead of having all the answers ready to go.)

Hope this helps a little.

Thanks guys! I think I have gotten over it. Plus I have been thinking about it and it doesn't really have to do with the fact I don't know what they will say. Its because its my first 1x1. So I guess I was just nervous. Thank you for helping out though and all the helpful information!