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Wish granted! But you can only travel five minutes into the past or future based on what would be your present time.


I wish I had an Energy sword from Halo

You do, but the darn thing is always spluttering out and there's nobody on earth who knows how to fix it.

I wish at least one cryptid was real.

Granted! Unfortunately, it is the most dangerous cryptid and it proceeds to kill the only people with knowledge on how to defeat it... oops...

I wish I could never get lost, no matter where I went.

Great! You're never gonna get lost again! But now you're only allowed to go to the places you know.


I wish I had a tail.

Awesome! You have a super amazing tail! The only problem is, no one else has a tail. You're constantly asked pointless questions and always stopped for pictures. This becomes so bad, mobs of people start collecting outside your house. If you don't let them in, they start breaking the doors and windows. You can never leave to get a job, go to school, hang out with friends or see family. You have no time to do anything but take photos and answer pointless questions. Random strangers will go through your personal belongings and try to find out how you got a tail. You will never have privacy ever again, have fun being an internet sensation!

I wish I was a horse.

NAAAYYYYY

You are a horse.... but now you are expected to work on the ranch you live on and never get to eat pizza or any delicious human food again.

I wish I had a car.

Granted, but I hope you didn't want an engine!

I wish I had better crafting skills.

Okay, but your skills would be so much better that people only like you for your skills, and not for who you really are.



I wish to become....(Drum roll) A cow!

Granted, unfortunately you don't get to provide the world with glorious milk... I think. Otherwise, you can't moo.

I wish... hmmm. I wish I had a a special Pre-Order copy of all AAA games coming out this year.

Granted! But they're cancelled right afterwards and you still have to pay for them.

I wish for a box that would tell people secrets.

Granted. Within your possession is now a quaint little wooden box made of the finest ebony wood ever created by nature. Precisely one foot in length, width, and height, this object is now imbued with the unseen power of a supernatural force. As to where it comes from, nobody knows for certain. This power grants the ebony wooden box with a unique ability not seen before mortal men. It tells the secrets of others, yet without anonymity.

I wish for omnipotence.

Granted! However, your brain can't handle it and you quickly perish.

I wish for shoes that allow you to run faster!

Granted, but you run too fast and break the space time continuum.

I wish... I wiiiiiiiiiiish... I wish to be a potato!

Granted. But someone wants to cook you and eat you, and since you're a potato, you're not able to move, so you can't run away

I wish I had a million dollars

Granted, yet you had no job. You find that you had to spend it all quickly due to the government and for your survival, not for your amusement.

I wish I could love others easier.

Granted, but everyone you love hates you.

I wish to be able to survive anything

WOOSH! BAM! POOEY! You are now able to survive anything...but you will have horrible luck till the end of times.

I wish to know what i want in life.

Congrats, you know what you want but you cannot achieve/receive it, have fun being unfulfilled for the rest of your life!

Oops... I wish I had a better memory.

Wish granted! But you can only remember broken verses to Justin Beiber songs.

I wish I wasn't depressed.

Granted! But only because your mind was ripped from your body, leaving you a vegetable.

I wish for aztec gods of fitness