I really didn't plan on doing this today (or ever, for that matter), but I need help, and I'm hoping someone can supply it. I guess you could say this is a bit of a life event as well as an asking for help? Asking for help with a life event... Let's say that. This is going to be two parts: My personal problem (in the collapse box in case you don't want to read it, it's just a little blurb), and the question I would like to have answered.
Now comes the help part. I'm looking for people who maybe know how to deal with all of this (mood drops, lack of motivation, panic attacks from sadness alone, and just being too sad to actually write)? I've gotten through it before, but I feel like I don't even have the motivation to try this time. I legitimately can't do anything anymore. Heck, I'm too upset to find motivation to even do homework, go to school, talk to people... It all feels pointless. I have to force myself.
My Personal Problem
I guess I should explain what this life event is. Well, for two or three years now, I've had mood drops, lack of motivation, panic attacks for no reason other than pure sadness, and all around feelings of just being too sad to write (hence why I take forever to reply sometimes. It's not you, it's me). I know I don't seem like the type to need help or be too sad to write, but it's my reality. Lately, I've also lost interest in just about everything again (this happens a lot, sadly), and it's, well, really painful... And I feel bad for the people this has affected, who have been waiting for me... Before you start to feel bad for me, I'm just going to say this now: I'm fine, just uh... Very down. I also want to say that, yeah, roleplay helps with these feelings, usually, so I've been able to reply, and I've probably looked, well... Like I'm perfectly fine. I should stop now before I make myself (and you) cry.
Now comes the help part. I'm looking for people who maybe know how to deal with all of this (mood drops, lack of motivation, panic attacks from sadness alone, and just being too sad to actually write)? I've gotten through it before, but I feel like I don't even have the motivation to try this time. I legitimately can't do anything anymore. Heck, I'm too upset to find motivation to even do homework, go to school, talk to people... It all feels pointless. I have to force myself.
I may not be an expert.. But I believe I could and can help. I've seen someone like this before, a close friend of mine actually, I helped them through it, So I may be able to help you. Besides, Never give up, Right?
Like I said, I'd love to help you with this. ^^
Like I said, I'd love to help you with this. ^^
Nav_Kat wrote:
I may not be an expert.. But I believe I could and can help. I've seen someone like this before, a close friend of mine actually, I helped them through it, So I may be able to help you. Besides, Never give up, Right?
Like I said, I'd love to help you with this. ^^
Like I said, I'd love to help you with this. ^^
Thanks... that'd really help a lot
I hope it does. Would you like to chat on our personal chat, or would you like to stay on this one?
Nav_Kat wrote:
I hope it does. Would you like to chat on our personal chat, or would you like to stay on this one?
Probably private, but your call
Alright then, private it is.
If you're of an age where parents are paying for things, ask them about seeing a therapist--or if you're in college, there might be a school therapist that can help (I found school ones were good for basic mood control, though they won't solve all the problems.)
-Start with the basics: Are you getting sleep? Are you eating and drinking? Are you getting a little exercise? If the answer is no to any of those, forgive your brain weasels; your body may be having trouble functioning due to an imbalance. I know it sounds weird when it's more usually 'I'm feeling so bad that I can't do those things'... but even if it feels tough, putting those three things first can have a positive impact in time. You don't have to become a pro, just walk around the block, or go to bed twenty minutes earlier, or keep a cup or bottle of water nearby and keep sipping.
-Depression is a real thing, and you don't have to feel sheepish about it. Speaking to a therapist can help guide you to some of the things that are exacerbating depression... sort of like a doctor who can help you find what food you're eating that's giving you an allergic reaction. Therapists can also determine if your depression might be helped by medication.
-Generally speaking mood plunges come from somewhere, and can be a way of your subconscious telling you that something you feel important isn't occurring. They can be for small things (you're really into an RP and it seems like the player you're writing against is really not) or they can be for big things (you had a breakup or a loss of a family/friend/pet/etc.) Sometimes they're for things you can control, and sometimes they're for circumstances that are out of your control. Give yourself time to process the bad feelings; when those happen, don't be hard on yourself, just try to take care of your basic needs. When you feel like you have a little more bandwidth (and I mean a day or three after the crash, because while you're in the middle of it this is going to make it worse!), try to suss out what caused the crash, and whether it was something that you could or should have been able to modify. Break every action down into the smallest bite--if you could have controlled any one part of it, consider if it would be useful to take control of that action again the next time you see yourself in a similar situation.
I'm not sure if I can think of a good example for this last part, but since we're on an RP board, let's use RP as an example. You're very invested in a thread you have going with a friend, but the end of the scene is coming up and for some reason it's making you feel really down. You've checked recently--alright, it's 3AM and you haven't been sleeping well for the last few nights. That could be it. Put a reminder like an alarm for yourself to get to bed by midnight for the next few nights, and lighten up replying to the thread posts for a day or so. You're coming up to the end of the thread a couple of days later and though you've slept better, you're still feeling morose about it. Hmm... alright, you haven't been talking OOCly and you feel as though your RP partner is going to be done with you forever after this. Send an OOC PM to ask if they're interested in starting up a new scene--you'd like to see X happen to the two characters, whether that be new plot or relationship biz, or whatever. Now... you've made the request, and you've put work in to make the request inviting. The response is out of your hands at this point, so you've done everything you can. If the other player says yes, AWESOME there is more to continue. If they say no or hem and haw (which is a way of saying no for people who haven't figured out how to express boundaries yet--and there are a lot of people like that in RP) then that can suck, sometimes really bad, but is out of your control. Give yourself a little bit of time to mourn the fun thing being gone, because that's allowed, and switch focus to maintaining the basics for a bit. When you're feeling a little better for it, start looking for new RP opportunities to get what you dreamed up with another player.
...You can apply that to more immediate, meaningful things in your life. Money problems? Break them down into chunks (budgeting, pushing more with the job hunt, paying down debt, etc.) Relationship problems? Break down what is bothering you and then approach the friend or partner as a curious and concerned individual, and tell them that you've noticed you have needs that aren't being met. Ask them to work with you in re-sorting a situation that works for you both.
...Lastly sometimes this doesn't work between younger people because they don't have the tools to understand mental health. It's poorly understood and we all goof up now and again.
I hope you're feeling better and are able to keep it manageable. <:]
-Start with the basics: Are you getting sleep? Are you eating and drinking? Are you getting a little exercise? If the answer is no to any of those, forgive your brain weasels; your body may be having trouble functioning due to an imbalance. I know it sounds weird when it's more usually 'I'm feeling so bad that I can't do those things'... but even if it feels tough, putting those three things first can have a positive impact in time. You don't have to become a pro, just walk around the block, or go to bed twenty minutes earlier, or keep a cup or bottle of water nearby and keep sipping.
-Depression is a real thing, and you don't have to feel sheepish about it. Speaking to a therapist can help guide you to some of the things that are exacerbating depression... sort of like a doctor who can help you find what food you're eating that's giving you an allergic reaction. Therapists can also determine if your depression might be helped by medication.
-Generally speaking mood plunges come from somewhere, and can be a way of your subconscious telling you that something you feel important isn't occurring. They can be for small things (you're really into an RP and it seems like the player you're writing against is really not) or they can be for big things (you had a breakup or a loss of a family/friend/pet/etc.) Sometimes they're for things you can control, and sometimes they're for circumstances that are out of your control. Give yourself time to process the bad feelings; when those happen, don't be hard on yourself, just try to take care of your basic needs. When you feel like you have a little more bandwidth (and I mean a day or three after the crash, because while you're in the middle of it this is going to make it worse!), try to suss out what caused the crash, and whether it was something that you could or should have been able to modify. Break every action down into the smallest bite--if you could have controlled any one part of it, consider if it would be useful to take control of that action again the next time you see yourself in a similar situation.
I'm not sure if I can think of a good example for this last part, but since we're on an RP board, let's use RP as an example. You're very invested in a thread you have going with a friend, but the end of the scene is coming up and for some reason it's making you feel really down. You've checked recently--alright, it's 3AM and you haven't been sleeping well for the last few nights. That could be it. Put a reminder like an alarm for yourself to get to bed by midnight for the next few nights, and lighten up replying to the thread posts for a day or so. You're coming up to the end of the thread a couple of days later and though you've slept better, you're still feeling morose about it. Hmm... alright, you haven't been talking OOCly and you feel as though your RP partner is going to be done with you forever after this. Send an OOC PM to ask if they're interested in starting up a new scene--you'd like to see X happen to the two characters, whether that be new plot or relationship biz, or whatever. Now... you've made the request, and you've put work in to make the request inviting. The response is out of your hands at this point, so you've done everything you can. If the other player says yes, AWESOME there is more to continue. If they say no or hem and haw (which is a way of saying no for people who haven't figured out how to express boundaries yet--and there are a lot of people like that in RP) then that can suck, sometimes really bad, but is out of your control. Give yourself a little bit of time to mourn the fun thing being gone, because that's allowed, and switch focus to maintaining the basics for a bit. When you're feeling a little better for it, start looking for new RP opportunities to get what you dreamed up with another player.
...You can apply that to more immediate, meaningful things in your life. Money problems? Break them down into chunks (budgeting, pushing more with the job hunt, paying down debt, etc.) Relationship problems? Break down what is bothering you and then approach the friend or partner as a curious and concerned individual, and tell them that you've noticed you have needs that aren't being met. Ask them to work with you in re-sorting a situation that works for you both.
...Lastly sometimes this doesn't work between younger people because they don't have the tools to understand mental health. It's poorly understood and we all goof up now and again.
I hope you're feeling better and are able to keep it manageable. <:]
Thanks. I think I should have supplied this information before: I've had therapists before. Only like 1/3 I would say really made me feel good and better tbh... I also make sure I'm asleep by ten. Thanks for the info, though!
Sorry for the wall of text. 
I blather a lot. The therapist thing seems about par--its hard to find someone who works.
Going into winter can also be a bummer... So far the best thing I've found for that is chocolate and and finding excuses to hunker down in blankets with books!
I blather a lot. The therapist thing seems about par--its hard to find someone who works.Going into winter can also be a bummer... So far the best thing I've found for that is chocolate and and finding excuses to hunker down in blankets with books!
Light_Of_Love wrote:
Thanks. I think I should have supplied this information before: I've had therapists before. Only like 1/3 I would say really made me feel good and better tbh... I also make sure I'm asleep by ten. Thanks for the info, though!
One in three's not a bad ratio from my experience. Finding a therapist who you click with takes time, since they all have slightly different approaches, and moreover, different vibes and personalities. It's worth the hunt if you can find a helpful one, though -- and if money is a concern, most therapists are happy to do a quick meet and greet not on the clock to see if you get the feeling you might jive with them.
Anyways, this is rough. Depression is a monster that takes time and patience to wrestle with, which is especially difficult when depression's what's draining your energy coffers. Backup will help.
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