Hey there everyone!
I have a sincere question for all of you.
I'm working out an idea for writing the concept, but I can always use advice from advanced story tellers! I will give you the concept first, then ask what I want to ask
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The story is about Reyny, a soldier of the Royal Court of King Thelrys of Hymoor, and Princess Audrey, Daughter to King Thelrys.
In the story, Reyny starts off at age 21, and Audrey at Age 18.
Ever since Audrey came of age, she had been engaged to the Prince of Beomoor. She was to be married to the man at age 18. In the time between her engagement and actual marriage to the prince, she was assigned Reyny, a young yet experienced fighter, as bodyguard. As time passes by, the two fall in love. (YES this is a cheesy love story, now shut it and keep reading!
) After being caught by one of the maids, Reyny escapes and is branded traitor to the crown of Hymoor. a month later however, he returns and takes Audrey, triggering the wrath of both Hymoor and Beomoor. They run for several weeks, untill King Thelrys throws out the Beomorians chasing the couple, and sends a messenger to the two that he understands their love.
However, when they arrive back at the court, Audrey was locked in her room and Reyny will be executed.
THE END
--
And now for my question: Do you guys have any ideas as for things to add or change? be it minor or large, let me know! comment here with all your ideas!
Thanks beforehand,
Zeger (aka Olthain)
I have a sincere question for all of you.
I'm working out an idea for writing the concept, but I can always use advice from advanced story tellers! I will give you the concept first, then ask what I want to ask
--
The story is about Reyny, a soldier of the Royal Court of King Thelrys of Hymoor, and Princess Audrey, Daughter to King Thelrys.
In the story, Reyny starts off at age 21, and Audrey at Age 18.
Ever since Audrey came of age, she had been engaged to the Prince of Beomoor. She was to be married to the man at age 18. In the time between her engagement and actual marriage to the prince, she was assigned Reyny, a young yet experienced fighter, as bodyguard. As time passes by, the two fall in love. (YES this is a cheesy love story, now shut it and keep reading!
) After being caught by one of the maids, Reyny escapes and is branded traitor to the crown of Hymoor. a month later however, he returns and takes Audrey, triggering the wrath of both Hymoor and Beomoor. They run for several weeks, untill King Thelrys throws out the Beomorians chasing the couple, and sends a messenger to the two that he understands their love.However, when they arrive back at the court, Audrey was locked in her room and Reyny will be executed.
THE END
--
And now for my question: Do you guys have any ideas as for things to add or change? be it minor or large, let me know! comment here with all your ideas!
Thanks beforehand,
Zeger (aka Olthain)
Hmm, difficult to change something about that. The story's centered about the love of two people. I like what I saw so far.
If you want my opinion, the princess should be just as adventurous as Reyny. Too often have I seen these princess/knight love stories where the princess does absolutely nothing and the knight does all the work. Perhaps the princess could be a bad ass herself and save Reyny from time to time.
If you want my opinion, the princess should be just as adventurous as Reyny. Too often have I seen these princess/knight love stories where the princess does absolutely nothing and the knight does all the work. Perhaps the princess could be a bad ass herself and save Reyny from time to time.
There's an idea, I'll see what I can add 
I'd love to see a bit more of a twist in this! I'm all for cliche sappy romances with tragic endings, but what if...
Something insignificant mentioned at the beginning turns out to be vital?
The hero realizes that he is the villain?
The main character is actually a ghost? (I'm sure there are interesting ways to make that work!)
Someone who is supposed to be dead is actually alive?
Something insignificant mentioned at the beginning turns out to be vital?
The hero realizes that he is the villain?
The main character is actually a ghost? (I'm sure there are interesting ways to make that work!)
Someone who is supposed to be dead is actually alive?
I don't really know how i could make the ghost idea work, but I can definately work with the other ideas!!
Just FYI, I changed the title of this thread so people can see what kind of help you need, and people interested in writing can more easily find it. When I first read the title "I need help!" I was quite alarmed!
When I first read the title "I need help!" I was quite alarmed!
lol, thanks Kim :p it was late and I was too tired to come up with a proper title
started writing in dutch (since it's my native language of course) so if there are any dutch RP'ers here willing to read what I've got so far, feel free to let me know!
as for the others, Ideas are still welcome!
as for the others, Ideas are still welcome!
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