Hey...
So ordinarily, when it comes to RP, it's always nice to get interest in your ideas and scenarios. But sometimes, on occasion, you can perhaps get responses to your LfRP threads from people who... let's say don't match the level of literary discipline you're comfortable with. How exactly do you let those kind of people down if you're not up to RPing under such conditions, or at the least ask them if they have the capabilities to meet your standards once RP actually gets rolling without looking pompous or presumptuous? Particularly when you forget to make your expectations clear in the opening post?
I ask, because on occasion I've come across posts consisting either of one word replies such as 'hi' or single-sentence replies with no punctuation and particularly poor spelling; and whilst I don't want to exclude such people - particularly when they're new to RP and need the practice - I also find RPs that don't reach my minimum literary preferences to be uninteresting, awkward and anxiety-inducing; and I'm sure those feelings would likely result in a negative experience for the other person as well. When an RP becomes a chore for either party, it defeats the entire purpose of RPing.
Ordinarily up until now, I've tended to ignore such responses and hope the person posting to my threads forgets about me and moves on... but that feels kind of rude. I'm wondering what other people think is the best way to politely turn someone down for such reasons.
So ordinarily, when it comes to RP, it's always nice to get interest in your ideas and scenarios. But sometimes, on occasion, you can perhaps get responses to your LfRP threads from people who... let's say don't match the level of literary discipline you're comfortable with. How exactly do you let those kind of people down if you're not up to RPing under such conditions, or at the least ask them if they have the capabilities to meet your standards once RP actually gets rolling without looking pompous or presumptuous? Particularly when you forget to make your expectations clear in the opening post?
I ask, because on occasion I've come across posts consisting either of one word replies such as 'hi' or single-sentence replies with no punctuation and particularly poor spelling; and whilst I don't want to exclude such people - particularly when they're new to RP and need the practice - I also find RPs that don't reach my minimum literary preferences to be uninteresting, awkward and anxiety-inducing; and I'm sure those feelings would likely result in a negative experience for the other person as well. When an RP becomes a chore for either party, it defeats the entire purpose of RPing.
Ordinarily up until now, I've tended to ignore such responses and hope the person posting to my threads forgets about me and moves on... but that feels kind of rude. I'm wondering what other people think is the best way to politely turn someone down for such reasons.
I've seen some other people turn others down by telling them that they don't think their RP styles would be compatible
Riik wrote:
Hey...
So ordinarily, when it comes to RP, it's always nice to get interest in your ideas and scenarios. But sometimes, on occasion, you can perhaps get responses to your LfRP threads from people who... let's say don't match the level of literary discipline you're comfortable with. How exactly do you let those kind of people down if you're not up to RPing under such conditions, or at the least ask them if they have the capabilities to meet your standards once RP actually gets rolling without looking pompous or presumptuous? Particularly when you forget to make your expectations clear in the opening post?
I ask, because on occasion I've come across posts consisting either of one word replies such as 'hi' or single-sentence replies with no punctuation and particularly poor spelling; and whilst I don't want to exclude such people - particularly when they're new to RP and need the practice - I also find RPs that don't reach my minimum literary preferences to be uninteresting, awkward and anxiety-inducing; and I'm sure those feelings would likely result in a negative experience for the other person as well. When an RP becomes a chore for either party, it defeats the entire purpose of RPing.
Ordinarily up until now, I've tended to ignore such responses and hope the person posting to my threads forgets about me and moves on... but that feels kind of rude. I'm wondering what other people think is the best way to politely turn someone down for such reasons.
So ordinarily, when it comes to RP, it's always nice to get interest in your ideas and scenarios. But sometimes, on occasion, you can perhaps get responses to your LfRP threads from people who... let's say don't match the level of literary discipline you're comfortable with. How exactly do you let those kind of people down if you're not up to RPing under such conditions, or at the least ask them if they have the capabilities to meet your standards once RP actually gets rolling without looking pompous or presumptuous? Particularly when you forget to make your expectations clear in the opening post?
I ask, because on occasion I've come across posts consisting either of one word replies such as 'hi' or single-sentence replies with no punctuation and particularly poor spelling; and whilst I don't want to exclude such people - particularly when they're new to RP and need the practice - I also find RPs that don't reach my minimum literary preferences to be uninteresting, awkward and anxiety-inducing; and I'm sure those feelings would likely result in a negative experience for the other person as well. When an RP becomes a chore for either party, it defeats the entire purpose of RPing.
Ordinarily up until now, I've tended to ignore such responses and hope the person posting to my threads forgets about me and moves on... but that feels kind of rude. I'm wondering what other people think is the best way to politely turn someone down for such reasons.
I get the same problem time to time. I think I'll hang out here to get a few solutions myself. ._.
The not being compatible option sounds like a viable one to me. You could also say that while you appreciate the interest, you just don't believe that what they have to offer is quite what you're looking for.
I've seen some people specify that there are certain standards they require, and they actually ask for writing samples before agreeing to start an RP. There may be some that become irked by it, but I never had a problem with it.
I've seen some people specify that there are certain standards they require, and they actually ask for writing samples before agreeing to start an RP. There may be some that become irked by it, but I never had a problem with it.
"Thanks for your interest! I took a look at your posts and I don't feel like our RP styles match so I'll have to pass, but I wish you all the best. 
"
"Thanks for getting in touch, I looked over your character but they're not really what I'm looking for, sorry! Hope you'll have a lovely day and find a new partner soon."
"Thanks for hitting me up, I'm glad you like my character! I'm afraid I'm looking for a different writing style though, and I want both of us to have fun. If you think you'd be able to do <writing style> and be happy with that, then we can give it a shot. If it doesn't work out then we tried but can look for new partners!"
These are some of the things I say when I find a potential RP partner is not a good match for me. You can't avoid other people feeling bad when you turn them down, but you don't owe them anything other than basic respect and kindness, something you definitely give with phrases like I listed.
It's okay to not be compatible RP partners. It's okay to say 'No thanks'. If people get pushy and try to persuade you after you turn them down, it's okay to say "Hey now, please stop, I said no and it's not nice of you to keep pushing. Please respect my decision."
""Thanks for getting in touch, I looked over your character but they're not really what I'm looking for, sorry! Hope you'll have a lovely day and find a new partner soon."
"Thanks for hitting me up, I'm glad you like my character! I'm afraid I'm looking for a different writing style though, and I want both of us to have fun. If you think you'd be able to do <writing style> and be happy with that, then we can give it a shot. If it doesn't work out then we tried but can look for new partners!"
These are some of the things I say when I find a potential RP partner is not a good match for me. You can't avoid other people feeling bad when you turn them down, but you don't owe them anything other than basic respect and kindness, something you definitely give with phrases like I listed.
It's okay to not be compatible RP partners. It's okay to say 'No thanks'. If people get pushy and try to persuade you after you turn them down, it's okay to say "Hey now, please stop, I said no and it's not nice of you to keep pushing. Please respect my decision."
Thanks for the help guys.
If anyone else has anything to add, feel free. I think my questions have been answered, but it's always good to compile more knowledge and wisdom.
If anyone else has anything to add, feel free. I think my questions have been answered, but it's always good to compile more knowledge and wisdom.
Aside from a polite PM, I wonder if asking for an RP sample in future requests would help?
Like, "if you're interested, please PM with a sample of a typical RP reply" and if the sample makes it clear that your styles don't match, send the polite response.
You could also say that you're willing to give it a shot of they work hard to match your standards, but then you will also need to be clear if they slip a few too many times that the thread is not really working out for you anymore. How many times you allow slip ups is up to you, of course.
Like, "if you're interested, please PM with a sample of a typical RP reply" and if the sample makes it clear that your styles don't match, send the polite response.
You could also say that you're willing to give it a shot of they work hard to match your standards, but then you will also need to be clear if they slip a few too many times that the thread is not really working out for you anymore. How many times you allow slip ups is up to you, of course.
You know, I was just thinking of the other side of the fence and I think that if I approached someone and they put a bunch of restrictions on me, it would probably not be super fun to play against them if they kept levvying those rules. Being the person approaching a new RP partner, I'd understand that there's a certain amount of risk...
But at the same time, I'm not sure I'd like someone to nitpick my writing style if I didn't ask for critique with the failing consequence meaning a lost thread and feeling that my time was a chore or not respected.
I think that last suggestion of trying to see if you can stomach a partner you're not sure could click should only be done if you've already got elite diplomatic skills. Otherwise it's better to stick to your boundaries right from the start. Less stress all around.
But at the same time, I'm not sure I'd like someone to nitpick my writing style if I didn't ask for critique with the failing consequence meaning a lost thread and feeling that my time was a chore or not respected.
I think that last suggestion of trying to see if you can stomach a partner you're not sure could click should only be done if you've already got elite diplomatic skills. Otherwise it's better to stick to your boundaries right from the start. Less stress all around.
You are on: Forums » RP Discussion » Need some advice
Moderators: Mina, Keke, Cass, Claine, Sanne, Ilmarinen, Darth_Angelus