Forums » Fantasy Roleplay » Trick or Treat: Kultas Frei

When one of the houses you have to visit closely resembles a brown, ugly, overly large termite mound (with a wooden door), you know you're in for a treat. Even more so when all the other houses in that street are perfectly normal.

Now, don't go saying it's not decorated, or else the host may take offense - he tried very hard! There's a bunch of pumpkins lying about. Well, pumpkin chunks. All over the place. On the lawn, on the fence, all over the entry rug (yup, there's one, and it says "Welcome!" in big white letters). It's as if someone wanted to place pumpkins around, but they kept exploding, falling, or accidentally being crushed by giant scorpion claws or something. Odd!

So yeah, the place is a mess. Be careful not to slip on what probably used to be very pretty jack-o-lanterns.

From inside, comes what is probably supposed to be the joyous humming of a happy song, only distorted and click-y and gurgle-y and horrible. Standing completely still, with a big burlap sack caught in his claw, Kultas Frei stares at the door patiently, amusing himself with a merry tune while he awaits the trick-or-treaters! Oh, man, is he excited!

Eventually there is a very heavy thud of foot-steps and the squelch of pumpkins underfoot approaching Kultas'... house, if it can really be called that. The sounds are most certainly not from a child, and they almost sound foreboding. Just what could be on the other side, on the outside, waiting to greet the scorpion man...?

Well, from the looks of things, it's a very tall knight! The behemoth of a living suit of armor, totally dressed up for the occasion but holding its helmet under one arm, reaches up with one massive hand and taps on the door. Given its bulk and size, a tap is more than enough to let the scorpionman know for sure that he has a visitor.

... did we mention it has a string of colorful magical lights all about itself? It totally does~!

Her little basket sways back and forth as she dashes through the streets, waving at all the other trick-or-treaters and even giggling at some of the very silly costumes! Dolly herself is garbed in a cute red riding hood costume, complete with cape and frilly goodness.

She skids to a halt when she spots the strange looking house. Clearly a case of pumpkin slaughter, judging by the massacre ahead, but she proceeds anyway. She spots the tall knight and reduces her steps to a cautious walk up until she stands behind him, admiring the colorful lights. The tap startles her and she squeaks. "H-hi there!"

The tall knight easily enough hears Lovedoll's greeting, and it slowly turns about to observe the dressed up little lady. A night's helm with no visible face beneath seems to ominously stare down at her... and then the tall knight skillfully bows to the girl and (apparently) greets her back in a foreign, incomprehensible language.

At any rate, Dubhánaut straightens up and motions towards the door as if to offer her the space in front of it--ladies first!

[OoC: Seraph gave me the ok to go ahead and post a reply to Lovedoll. I wanted to make sure I didn't break the flow o' things! ]

The door suddenly opens to reveal a hideous, smiling creature without eyes, or a nose, or ears. Also it looks like some sort of scorpion centaur thing, and it's freaking huge, dwarfing even the already pretty humongous knight. Way to make most Halloween decorations seem positively charming. Behind him, the inside of the 'house' has no illumination at all - and the few rooms lit up enough to see are empty.

"Grrreetingss, chiildrrren!", he says - pretty much hissing his s's and gurgling his r's. He turns his head down towards the unicorn first (leaning a bit in the process), and then at the knight. "You arrre prrretty tall for a chiild.", he comments to Dubhánaut.

With a stiff, almost mechanical movement, he holds out the claw holding the burlap sack and opens it - which sadly, due to lack of dexterity (and hand), causes the sack to fall on the floor. Kultas's smile does not even change when he looks down at the bag he just dropped.

"Ooopssss. Well, help yourssselvesss, I guesss."

As he speaks, the clicking sound of little insect feet makes its way from one of the dark rooms towards the trio. A huge black scarab with bright orange wings comes charging towards the bag, but is blocked by a scorpion leg that's placed on his way, and comes to a grinding halt. The hasty bugger is the size of a small dog!

"Noo, the goodiesss arre forr the chiildrren.", Kultas admonishes his 'pet', who just stands there looking as sad as a giant beetle can be. And then the scorpionman lets out a small chuckle that sounds nothing like any sound a healthy human being would ever make. "Want to pet him?", he asks the two.

She is a little nervous because of this... she assumes it's a man's very well done costume. Really, it's frightening! But he is a gentleman all the same, and she grins with a nod of her head. "Thank you!" Right as she steps up to the door, it opens. Her eyes are filled with curious expectations and excitement, right up until they fall on this true abomination.

If she hadn't been white as snow already, her face might have turned to that quickly. Dolly trembles on her feet and emits a high pitched squeak when it leans down to greet her.

Within moments she dashes behind the faceless knight, clinging to the back of his leg to use him as a shield.

Dubhanaut makes the most awesome shield ever, being 8 or so feet of hollow armor. If it has anything to say about Kultas though when the door is opened, it doesn't voice it. In fact, it doesn't really react at all in a protective manner, even when poor Lovedoll dashes behind it for protection.

But then its head tilts curiously to the side and begins to reach down to take a handful of candy from the sack. It's hard to tell where at Kultas' person and pet it keeps looking when it finally stands up, but it turns just a little at the waist and offers some of what it has to Lovedoll all the same.

"...Maith thar lome. Llie que na enna en' Ghoma hini," the knight addresses the scorpionman in its strange starfish alien language. The tone indicates a greeting and comment of some sort, and none of it is in answer to anything either Kultas or Lovedoll had to say! Oh dear, how peculiar.

"Oh, apologiesss. It iss jussst a little... e-ck-ciiited." The scorpionman says, probably under the impression it was his pet that scared the little one. He turns around and points a chitin-covered finger towards the darkness. "Go play with yourrr toysss!" The scarab just looks up at his owner confused, but a sudden stomp of Kultas's scorpion feet against the floor is enough to scare the pet into obeying - and off it goes.

"Yessss, enjoy the ck-andy.", is his answer to the... thing Dubhanaut said. The same finger that not too long ago was pointed towards the inside of his 'house', is now pointing up near Kultas's gruesome face, as he gives a piece of wise scorpion-y advice. "Dooo not eat it all in one ssssitting, though, or you'll get ssssi-ck." His not-face then turns back down at the hidey one. "Don't be ssshy, liiittle one. You can have sssssome asss well."

Dolly is too busy trembling to even think of grabbing some candy for herself. When it's practically shoved into her face, she hesitates but takes a tiny handful to stuff into her basket.

The knight's strange words are unfamiliar to her, and it seems the scary scorpion man thinks his pet frightened her! Not having the courage to tell him otherwise, she peeks around the knight's leg. "Th-than-k-k you," she stammers in a tiny voice, inching slowly forward. Her wide eyes switch between the bag and Kultas while she gets another handful.

She can't decide if this is a clever costume or a very frightening creature, and as the scorpion man moves a little she flees immediately, squealing all the way down the path while her basket sways frantically back and forth.

The knight remains silent and still as a statue, listening to the exchanges between Kultas and Lovedoll... at least, until that squeal of terror pierces its sense of hearing. It slowly turns, watching the poor unicorn girl hurry away from the strange house and its stranger owner.

". . . Amin inty Amin gehd shan vee'eithel. Eller naa ner nae las," it quietly utters as it turns back to Kultas and gives a small bow. Then with that all said and done, the massive suit of armor begins to trudge its way off of Kultas' doormat, dropping what few pieces of candy it has into its overturned helmet.

"Ah, ssssuch nice ck-idsss.", the scorpionman says with that eternal slasher smile of his, waving goodbye at the two with his hand that is an actual hand. Then he closes the door. He's got more burlap sacks to fill with candy!

And just as the first two trick or treaters depart and Kultas goes back inside to relax, another stranger darkens Kultas' doorstep. Literally. The twilight shadows pull together and boil upward to form the shape of an illithid. Nearly seven feet tall, its bulging eyes are set atop a face of tentacles. Beside it, the darkness knits itself into a bright orange bag, that then just hangs there in front of the creature. It steeples its too-long fingers in front of itself, staring at the closed door. It is silent. It seems to be expecting something.

Following closely on the heals of Aethaerraent's arrival, so closely that to imagine a coincidence would be quite the challenge, is a rather loud PoP sound. There are those who might tell you that teleportation arrivals make little to no sound, those people are likely humanoid sized. This latest arrival is clearly not. Over 12 feet in Diameter, this Beholder is quite a bit larger than most Beholders, that is assuming the observer has seen more than one Beholder and lived to remember it.

There is a tiny looking orc's face stuck to this Beholder, below the central eye and above the mouth. The face is bloody around the edges and is clearly stretched unevenly, making it almost difficult to determine the fact that it was once(recently) attached to an orc. Maybe this face is the Beholder's “Costume” but only if he is very unclear on the definition of the word Costume.

Almost as if it were an afterthought, there is a small orange bag hanging from the Beholder's harness, held open by wire to compensate for a shortage of hands. Any thought of coincidence should be dispelled by this bag, as it is identical to the one Aethaerraent made, or perhaps Aethaerraent made one to mimic this bag, one would have to ask either the Illithid or the Beholder which came first.

“TRICK OR TREAT!” The beholder's eerily jovial voice booms through the air, deep and rumbling, like a row of sub-woofers all turned up to 11. No need for a doorbell.

After a booming voice causes some sand to fall from the ceiling, almost deafening the scorpionman (who possesses extremely developed hearing) and disturbing his pet, who starts running around in panic and hitting the walls of the room it is in, Kultas decides to answer the door.

He takes care to hold the bag with his actual hand, this time - but then realizes he can't open the door with his claw. Shifting the bag from his hand to his claw is an unsurprisingly slow process, which he does with great care, and once he's finally ready, he opens the door!

The scorpionman... doesn't seem shocked at all! Hmm, maybe it's the lack of a face. With the same mechanical movement with which he greeted the other two, earlier, he extends his bag towards the Illithid and the Beholder. And, learning from his mistakes, he doesn't open his claw this time.

Aeth stares at the abomination, with a completely unchanging expression. Perhaps it's the total lack of eyebrows or a mouth or eye muscles that would let it change its expression. Its tentacles wriggle a bit, though.

Since the thing doesn't say anything, Aeth doesn't say anything, just floats a single piece of candy from the offered bag into its own neon orange receptacle. Then it recedes, gliding smoothly backward to let the beholder have its turn. Hovering silently several feet back, it almost looks like a parent waiting at the end of the walk for its child to knock on the door, receive candy, and prompt the kid to be polite when it gets compliments on its costume.

Only the illithid is probably not going to be giving any lessons in rote manners tonight.

The Beholder's voice apparently comes in many settings. No longer booming, now that the door is open, it remains very deep even in the absence of deafening. “No eyes or mouth, what a bland existence you must lead.”

While the beholder speaks, two pieces of candy float out of the bag, each being stared at carefully by more than one eye as it travels the short distance to the Beholder's under slung orange bag.

Kultas' eyes are but tiny holes on his 'face', hard to spot even during a close examination, so he does not mention them - he does however point a chitin-covered finger at his mouth, which is perpetually frozen in a slasher smile that would be freaky, if the other two weren't an Illithid and a Beholder.

"You do not ck-now the half of iiit, Beholder." is the scorpionman's reply, which is followed by a knowing nod. The bag is still extended towards the two. He's probably waiting for the two to take more candy. Or maybe he forgot about it.

Since Kultas has got no eyes, Aeth lifts more candy. A lot more. Fistfuls more. Most of them float on over to the Beholder's trick or treat bag.

One might wonder if the Beholder is behind some of the floating candy, or none, but one need not wonder if he has noticed the phenomenon. Each piece is carefully observed by one of the Beholder's many eyes as it travels from one bag to another.

“Oh ho, it speaks. You do have a mouth after all, I thought perhaps it was just for show.” The Beholder clearly has a mouth, a great big one that could fit two or three people comfortably, larger one might say than a VW bug's interior. “I have seen many creatures on many worlds, but none quite like you. Tell me, are you a failed experiment created by a senile wizard?”

Beholders are famous for many things, tact is not one of them.

"Do leave ssssomethiiing for the other childreeen." The scorpionman noticed the bag going lighter, it seems! His voice sounds as neutral as a voice can be; between that, the apparent lack of eyes and the mouth that's stuck on grin-mode, it's very hard to know if he means that playfully or not.

"Asss much assss you yourrrself arrre, floatiiing one.", Kultas replies to the beholder's comment.