Forums » Smalltalk » How to deal with depression.

If your like me, you had gone through most of your life being depressed without any help. No medication or counseling. But for those who wants to know how I did it...
I, really couldn't tell you. I've still been struggling to this day. It's not easy, and I dont know what else to do...

Oh! I Remeber! just watch cartoons till you forget about everything!

See a doctor, get medicated.

Clinical depression is a chronic medical condition. Treat it like one. There's no shame in taking insulin to manage your blood glucose. There's no shame in taking a pill to balance your brain's neurochemicals.

I second what Corinthi said, and add that there is no shame in getting counseling either. I don't have depression, but I had horrible anxiety and panic attacks, and counseling really helped me work at overcoming it!

True. Counseling doesn't come to mind first for me, because I'm /terribly/ uncomfortable at the idea of opening up like that to anyone and had a bad experience with some messed up family counseling as a kid, but it's very, very therapeutic and if you put in the work it can be wonderful.

My issues with counseling are just that, my issues. By all means, seek therapy if you have the means.

I would get counseling but I can't trust to open up. And getting pills is not really how I work. I'm fine with others doing it but I just dont. I want to try to make it with no help.
Kinda setting up my own demise.

i can completely understand not trusting people enough to open up to them, because i'm just generally a pretty secretive person by nature. whether i forget about something that people would think is important or whether i don't think they need to know it are both factors that keep a lot of people from knowing a lot of things about me.

i'm studying to have a PhD in psychology, and have gotten a bachelor's degree so far. corinthi is absolutely right - your brain is an organ that's not producing the chemicals it needs when it's got depression, so give it the chemicals it needs via medication. depression, however, is also a disease of the brain. this means it affects your emotions, your thoughts - kind of everything about you, really, but what i'm getting at are your thoughts and emotions.

when you're sad, your brain is going to take that and run with it because it has depression. it's going to be debilitating. therapy helps you with that - it gets you through your things that give you sadness, and if they're good enough, can even get your brain out of depression.

there isn't a reason to not trust a therapist, though. therapists aren't going to betray you. they're confidentially bound. their job is to help you deal with your emotions - unless you expect them to do anything else for you, you'll be completely safe giving your trust to them. in any case, there's not really trust that needs to be exchanged. you're getting a service from them. you're getting therapy from them. think of it like physical therapy - you tell or show the doctor your injury, and they treat it. you tell or show this doctor your injury, and they treat it. this is the exact same thing.

make sure they're a good therapist, though, and finish the treatments they're giving you. that's Very important. interview them, if it makes you feel better. do not go to a therapist that gives you a weird vibe. make sure you're at least somewhat comfortable, or that your uncomfortableness is just because you're about to tell someone stuff that you're not even comfortable with telling yourself. stay safe.

I get terrible nightmares and whilst it differs from depression, I was in the same boat as you for a long time in that I was truly adament that pills would not help me, and that my problems wouldn't be worth the hassle in the first place.

Seeing a doctor was like climbing over a giant wall, and it was the best decision I made in regards to my health. The doctor correctly pinned it down to night time anxiety (I get incredibly skittish when I try to settle down) and prescribed me appropriately.

Though they're not a sure cure, you must learn to ignore your beliefs surrounding doctors and look towards the fact that they are literally bound by oath to help you, not hinder you.

All the best.

Let me tell you that there are no gold stars, no acknowledgement, no standing ovation for getting up in the morning and trudging through it without help. I, myself, used to be of this mindset that maybe if I did it without medication, I would be better, but the truth is SSRI's or anti-depressants can help you. Therapy can help you. But these things cannot help you if you keep denying yourself help. It took me years to learn this, and sometimes, the hard way.

I think what you really need to do is ask yourself is surviving enough? Is fighting the potential urge to walk out into traffic on your own volition every single day worth denying yourself a support system?

Antero, finding a therapist and a doctor who can help you can be daunting, but at the end of the day, you are worthwhile enough to go through these things and to get yourself help. There is no shame in needing help, there is no shame in reaching out and admitting that you cannot do this on your own. No, even with help, it won't fix overnight, but you deserve help, and the best person who is in the best position to help you is you. If you've been surviving this long on your own, you can most certainly do this.

I personally have had a horrible time with the meds they make me take for my MDD

They give me hot flashes, make me puke sometimes, nightmares, sedate me, and make me more depressed.

I haven't found any medication helpful, so it really depends on the person. I don't want you taking advice from me too much, as I am doing a terrible job handling my depression by myself, but I hope you get off better than I am, buddy.

I might not be here anymore in a few years, which is why I am slowly dropping Rps, as I feel no motivation to respond anymore. It is just a droning task to please the other Rp'er

I used to love it so much...

Self-diagnosing or doing anything for yourself is not the only way to work things out. Counsellors and therapists are the best people for you to trust. They will do their job to do everything to help you help yourself.

The truth is, you should seek professional help. There's no right perfect answer or universal answer, but these two things are the most powerful answers that we have for anyone. Medication and professional help. Denying yourself this could do so much more harm, but you have to want to help yourself to reach these places too. If you really, really, want help... then talk to someone professionally. They're not going to ask you to immediately open the door to them. They will work with you over time to let you comfortably open the door for them to help you. That's their purpose. They take their doctor patient confidentiality to the grave. No matter how you feel, what you're thinking, or how you see the world, these professionals are there to absolutely understand. They went to school to understand it. You're not alone in how you think, I guarantee it. Please, take the advice that people here are giving you, and go seek professional help. You don't know it won't work for you unless you try.

Screaming into the void gives no sounding wall, and it gives no relief. It's a serious medical issue, and you should definitely go and talk to someone who is licensed to assist you and your needs.

As much as RPR is a wonderfully caring community, your friends can be amazing and supportive... it doesn't always make that massive of a difference. Professionals can help YOU help yourself in making that difference.

As someone who was self diagnosed for a while and then got a professional diagnosis (mainly so i could be certain about what I thought in the first place, and I was,) I would suggest therapy.

I personally don't take any medications for my depression, but I have taken short term anxiety medications a handful of times, but usually I handle my own personal mental illness without medication because I am not comfortable with being on any long term medications, or taking short term medications more than once or twice when I really need them.

The biggest thing that helped me is therapy. I was very uncomfortable and nervous at first but after the first and second time, I looked forward to seeing my lovely therapist every week and then every two weeks. I even started treating that day as a special 'me' day and would dress nice for my appointment, and take myself out for dinner and ice cream afterwards.

Unfortunately, due to transportation and insurance issues I can't see a therapist anymore and haven't been able to for about two years. While I am doing a lot better than I used to because of that previous therapy, there are moment moments where I realllyyy miss doing to see my therapist every couple weeks, and just having someone to vent to and just support me. She was very supportive of my career goals, my dropping out of school, and never judged me or made me feel bad. She often colored or played board games with me during appointments.

There are so many wonderful therapists out there, and it might take a few tries to find the best one for you, but I can say it is ultimately the best thing you can do for yourself. I won't say you should take meds, or not take meds, because that is your personal choice - but regardless, a therapist is a huge asset.

The other things I have done to help with my depression is exercise, which I know is a common one. Some Days it's really hard for me to get want to get up and do anything, (also because I have a physical illness that causes bone paint) but I have been pushing myself as hard as possible to get at least 10 minutes on the exercise bike I bought a year ago. I worked up from five minutes, to ten, to fifteen, to even twenty. Lately I have only been making it on there about 3 times a week for ten minutes, but it has really helped me. Since exercising helps produce oxytocin and serotonin which are 'happy hormones'. I also have a playlist of only upbeat and happy music. When I am having an espeically hard day, I only listen to that playlist. I keep myself from listening to anything dark, sad, or heavy. I also color in some cute mermaid coloring books I got from the dollar store, and I make yarn bracelets. Both help me focus my energy, and distract me.

Something my therapist got me doing that I still do is I have a box, that I put little things that make me happy in, and continue to do so whenever I get or find something that makes me happy. So whenever I need it, I open it and look at the bracelets, photos, cds, nik naks, rocks, crystals, letters and birthday cards, and such that I have put in there over the years. It helps.

I have high-functioning ASD (AKA Autism for those few who don't know) and have been dealing with major depressive disorder, PTSD and an anxiety disorder for most of my pubescent & adult life. I was only diagnosed last year and had only self-diagnosed the depression after a psych 101 class on college. My anchors to reality at the time in the early days were my games, my dogs, my roleplays, and my greatest friend in the world who is on here with me; PrettySir.

Roleplay allowed/allows me to let out that darkness locked away in the depths of my soul in minute amounts to bring myself back to a more centered state. But, having not roleplayed for over a year and making characters on a continual basis a few years back forced me to adapt and find new ways to pour my pieces out in other areas. This now includes beadwork (which I will have an Etsy for soon, yay ), reading, watching YouTube, and also movies.

I have a therapist who has helped me get out of my cycle of self-hate. We just finished my trauma therapy and I will be going in for a follow-up sometime next week or the week after. She helped me a lot, but mainly as someone I can vent to and let the words come out.

I shall close this ramble by saying this; there is always a way to exorcise the darkness out of your soul so that it doesn't consume you and cause you to make a failed rationalization into doing something stupid. Find a creative outlet, someone to talk to who already knows your secrets (but keep some, you don't wanna always be transparent. Translucent is okay, though. ) and see if they're alright with you venting so you can finally breathe and get shit off your chest.

Thank y'all for reading and remember, there's always going to be someone who'll shut up and listen and will not heap their drama and bullshit onto you. It may take a lifetime, but you'll find them. Believe me.

Thank you and have good night from everyone's favorite sane madman,
Lucian SaDiablo.

Depression is one of those things that doesn't have a ton of public understanding about it, but there is at least medical understanding.
As I'm sure many have said, medication and therapy are your two best weapons.

My wife went through true hell as a child. A lot of her family are unbelievably horrible people, and she was their victim for most of her childhood, until she finally got old enough to be able to stand up for herself.
She went through therapy, and it was hard. She got worse before she got better, but she got better, and that was the point.

A lot of people resist the idea of medication, but I would strongly encourage you to consider it. Go to your doctor, but be very very open about it.
If you try a med and it doesn't work, tell your dr. If it makes you feel worse, tell your dr.

I am on anti-depressants, and was even on an anti psychotic for a while though that was to increase the effect of the antidepressant, not for what the anti-psychotic might have typically been prescribed for. It was also given to help me sleep because I was suffering PTSD from someone trying to kill me, my wife and my youngest child in our sleep, and serious insomnia for a while too. I still suffer insomnia, but a lot of the bad dreams have subsided.
I should also be in therapy, because I guess I have some anger that I need to work out, but therapy is a much bigger commitment, though is also incredibly useful.

If you're not really ready to talk about it, start off with medication. They're not all going to work, and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another, but it's still worth trying.

After that, try therapy if you need it.

OH MY GOSH! THAT'S WHAT I DO TOO!
My siblings always wonder why I always prefer watching cartoons. They say it's 'cause I'm immature and childish. What they don't know is that watching cartoons really calm my nerves.

Simple things can help. We often forgot them.
A hot chocolate, some time for enjoying an activity we love, used to love, sometimeto write in a little notepad.

Anything, simple.

And time, remember it might need time to right everything.

That mostly my own experience.

Goodluck.

I have Major Depessive Disorder (commonly just "Depression"), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, ADHD, and am presently trying to determine whether I have Rejection Sensitive Disphoria or Borderline Personality Disorder. Oh, and a vague Mathematics Disorder, but that's not inherently an emotional thing.

Despite all those big, scary names, I function better than many people I know. Years of forcing myself to just deal with it all while it mostly went unrecognized taught me to crush is all down out of sight. I didn't like therapists. I kept forgetting my medications until we gave up. A carried a lonely sort of pride about it, this idea that suffering somehow made me better.

Suffering like that does not make you better. It forces you to struggle to keep up.

It's also hard to talk. Even when you do trust someone, sometimes you just can't figure out how to say something.

A couple years ago, I finally stopped putting things off and reached out for help. I'm now on my forth therapist - the first I dropped because she was a temp at the location, the second because of insurance issues, and the third because I allowed myself to be picky. The first three seemed only mildly helpful, only briefly. The current one actually feels like a friend, and when I'm having trouble saying things, she helps me find words. When I'm having trouble vetbalizing in particular, she seems like she'll allow me to write it down.

I'm also indirectly medicating. Some blood tests that a doctor finally decided to do revealed that my thyroid isn't producing enough and I'm deficient in a few nutrients that, among other things, can all produce various symptoms of depression. So I'm taking meds and vitamins for that, and once that's sorted out, we'll be seeing if more things are necessary. So far, I'm a lot less constantly tired.

the thing about depression (in my experience anyways) is that it’s going to get worse without help. the things you use to distract yourself will become tedious. it’ll get to the point where nothing will bring you joy anymore. and i know this because last year i started to feel really depressed around august but i just ignored it and tried distracting myself with things that made me happy. by november, i’m not exaggerating when i say that i was thinking about suicide a good 99% of the time. absolutely nothing made me happy, they were all just distractions, but they weren’t even working as distractions any more because trying to do anything other than sleep or lay in bed made me more exhausted than words can express. i shut out most of my friends and stopped talking to people. my depression was actually giving me near-constant migraines because of how awful it was. at least once a week i was getting dangerously close to attempting suicide. when i had nothing to force myself to do i was practically catatonic.

this was from august to november, just four months. all of that happened because i just kept telling myself that i could pull myself out of it without help and something would happen that would just snap me out of it. i needed therapy and medication, and now that i’ve been going to therapy once a week and i’ve been back on my meds since november, i’m doing perfectly fine. some days are harder than others and i still struggle, but i can function.

find a therapist that you click with. you don’t have to open up about your darkest secrets on the very first meeting, you can just tell them very basic things like “i’ve been depressed lately” and if the two of you vibe it can go from there. if it’s any help, here’s this video. i went through a paranoia phase with my therapist that i’ve been seeing off and on since i was 12, and i just don’t trust easily in general, but a therapist isn’t going to betray you or judge you. and if you find out they’re talking about your appointments with others you can get them fired in a heartbeat, and if you feel judged by them, nothings stopping you from finding another therapist.

in my experience, without the help of medication or therapy, it’s just going to get even worse. if i didn’t get help when i did, i might honestly be dead right now. getting help isn’t easy, but it’s easier than suffering.

what ps said. With little nuances to it for myself, but related af.

I can't believe how much depression is actually a common .... I don't have the word in english come on.

It's ust awful to look at the population and look at that being such a common occurence.