Forums » Smalltalk » Dysphoria Sucks.. please help?

Usually, I'm not one to post here, because it's scary, really scary.

But lately, I've been hit by a huge wave of Dysphoria and it sucks. I know that Dysphoria is not always the same at every waking hour of the day, but this past two weeks or so I just feel uncomfortable with every move. About my voice, height, feminine face, feminine body, and the fact that most people view me as a feminine being despite the fact that I am out as FTM transgender. Heck, I've been avoiding my friends as much as possible.

I love RPR, it is one of the kindest of communities, and I love how LGBT+ friendly it is.
I was just wondering if anyone has some.. I guess tips of dealing with dysphoria and the entire transgender thing. Because truly, I hate being trans, it is extremely unpleasant, I hate being uncomfortable with the gender I was assigned at birth.

Knowing the nature of this site, I'm hoping that there will be someone to help me. Thank you in advance.

~ Leo

Well, I will not be very helpful in all that, but have you ever saw Transamerica? It's an awesome movie. Don't pay attention to the 4th cover.

Hiya. If you're comfortable with having a chat in PMs I'd be happy to send one your way.

Leaving some general advice here -

I know it can be really hard, but please try not to avoid your friends as long as they are trying to be your friends. They can be so valuable during such a vulnerable process. If it's because they're misgendering you (while being apologetic about it, of course), then it's important to try not to view that as a lack of care or doubt about how you feel. Just the same as any learned habit, associating the person they've known with a new name and pronouns can simply take some time to adjust to, and sometimes we slip back into old habits. They may never understand what it's like to be in your position, but so long as they remain willing to try then hold on to them tight.

Awww poor boy
I can't give any actual advice but I wanted to tell you that I care and hope you will be better soon. I'm almost sure that people on here have many useful thoughts for you written soon!
Meanwhile I can only ask you to take care of yourself, do things you enjoy, take breaks after unpleasant things, rest and nap if you can and treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. When you feel like people don't understand it's really important to try to be nice and kind towards yourself. Even if I get that this can be hard with doubts, but you sure have so many wonderful traits, enchanting talents and a strong heart of a true warrior. Don't go too hard on yourself, only do things that are most necessary to take care of while you feel that much Bad.
Don't forget that there are people that love you for who you are inside, your inner characteristics matter the most and even if there always might be people who won't understand, you are still yourself, no matter what:
A strong and handsome man who is valid, does matter and deserves to be happy. I wish you all the best and if you want to talk, my inbox is always open.

Wow. Thank you to everyone that took the time out of their way to respond to this, I truly do appreciate it. I wasn't expecting to get responses as fast as I did, especially responses so kind! Thank you!

Aha, old friend, it has been too long.

I can relate with dysphoria majorly, as you most likey know from me being in the exact same situation as you, and all, and honestly, I can't offer much advice.
The thing that probably annoys me the most right now is seeing males viewing me as female. That suuucks. The entire time they're talking to you, or looking at you, you can hear yourself screaming mentally "STOP!! IM JUST THE EXACT SAME AS YOU!!" Equality is especially frustrating right now, too. People think that because I'm different, and because there's 'something wrong with me', I should be treated differently. And as if I wasn't getting treated differently enough as a female already.
But, not getting into an equality discussion here, because despite all the inequality we have, the world is certainly better than what it once was, so I'm content with that.

The only advice I can really give you is that sometimes, you just gotta wait it out. Just remember, if you've got a binder, don't wear it for too long, no matter if you don't care about hurting your chest or not. It's really tempting, I know, but you've gotta look after the body you have right now, otherwise it won't be the perfect body you want after transitioning.

No matter how much this sucks, and I know, it SUCKS, sometimes time is the only answer. Sadly, things can't happen immediately, which I'm sure you're aware of. So just, patience is key, which is a lot coming from me because I'm seriously impatient.

Remember, my inbox is always open, especially for you, Leo.

Reasons why I love this community are showing right here in this topic. There is so much support for one another.

Xblackxhoodx, thank you for reaching out as you've done. It takes a lot of bravery. I can't imagine what you must go through.

Have you felt this way before? And if so, can you think of anything that had made you feel better during that time? Perhaps you have an inner strength or 'coping skill' you did not realise you had. Having a support system is fantastic and I can see one is already forming quickly.

I have some questions for you - but only if you're comfortable answering them. No pressure!
How can someone best support you during these times? If someone is ignorant about transgender-related challenges - how can we educate ourselves? Do you have any advice of your own for others?

I wish you all the best and hope you start feeling better soon.