Hi friends of RPR, I've seen lately that many of you are going through tough times. 
So I wanted to copy-paste this section from the RPR group "Here For You" (which you should totally join if you want some support), which Sanne created/mods. It has great resources, especially if you need someone to talk to NOW, and nobody is online or posting on the forums:
Okay, you hit a really rough patch and now you're thinking of doing something to yourself. There's no shame in it and no judgement, but please breathe and try to distract yourself from these thoughts. Go through this check-list first:
Everything Is Awful and I'm Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day?
If not, take a shower right now.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day?
If not, jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?
If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?
That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?
Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll help fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you over-exerted yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
If you're unable to pull yourself away from these thoughts and urges, PLEASE reach out to someone by phone or website. No matter what you're going through, you're not alone.
US: 1-800-273-TALK
US Crisis Text Line: text 741741 when in crisis. Available 24/7 in the USA (no charge for your texts with AT&T, T-Mobile, Sprint, or Verizon)
US LGBTQ Youth (the Trevor Project): 1-866-488-7386
US Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
Canada: 1-800-SUICIDE OR help lines and centers by province OR 911
International: Befrienders Worldwide http://www.befrienders.org/
Australia: 13-11-14 (lifeline) or 1-800-55-1800 (kids help line for 5-25 yrs old)
Is your country not listed? Please consult this list, or use Google to find the crisis hotline of your country.
https://www.facebook.com/help/103883219702654 (No FB account needed)
So I wanted to copy-paste this section from the RPR group "Here For You" (which you should totally join if you want some support), which Sanne created/mods. It has great resources, especially if you need someone to talk to NOW, and nobody is online or posting on the forums:Okay, you hit a really rough patch and now you're thinking of doing something to yourself. There's no shame in it and no judgement, but please breathe and try to distract yourself from these thoughts. Go through this check-list first:
Everything Is Awful and I'm Not Okay: questions to ask before giving up
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
If not, get some food — something with protein, not just simple carbs. Perhaps some nuts or hummus?
Have you showered in the past day?
If not, take a shower right now.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy for a run or trip to the gym, just walk around the block, then keep walking as long as you please. If the weather’s crap, drive to a big box store (e.g. Target) and go on a brisk walk through the aisles you normally skip.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine; wait until you see something really wonderful about someone, and tell them about it.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day?
If not, jog for the length of an EDM song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around the room for the length of an upbeat song.
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them.
Have you seen a therapist in the past few days?
If not, hang on until your next therapy visit and talk through things then.
Have you changed any of your medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?
That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If not, put on clean clothes that aren’t pajamas. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?
Put on pajamas, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes — no electronic screens allowed. If you’re still awake after that, you can get up again; no pressure.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an e-mail, loading up the dishwasher, or packing trip. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look, and you’ll help fight society’s restrictions on what beauty can look like.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you over-exerted yourself lately — physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment.
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes our perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far, and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
If you're unable to pull yourself away from these thoughts and urges, PLEASE reach out to someone by phone or website. No matter what you're going through, you're not alone.
US: 1-800-273-TALK
US Crisis Text Line: text 741741 when in crisis. Available 24/7 in the USA (no charge for your texts with AT&T, T-Mobile, Sprint, or Verizon)
US LGBTQ Youth (the Trevor Project): 1-866-488-7386
US Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
Canada: 1-800-SUICIDE OR help lines and centers by province OR 911
International: Befrienders Worldwide http://www.befrienders.org/
Australia: 13-11-14 (lifeline) or 1-800-55-1800 (kids help line for 5-25 yrs old)
Is your country not listed? Please consult this list, or use Google to find the crisis hotline of your country.
https://www.facebook.com/help/103883219702654 (No FB account needed)
These are all wonderful suggestions!!
"Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them."
Eh. Won't work.
Unfortunately, these are goods tips, but can't be executed, for somes.
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them."
Eh. Won't work.
Unfortunately, these are goods tips, but can't be executed, for somes.
RedLantern wrote:
"Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them."
Eh. Won't work.
Unfortunately, these are goods tips, but can't be executed, for somes.
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends or friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing on them."
Eh. Won't work.
Unfortunately, these are goods tips, but can't be executed, for somes.
That's becoming easier to do, actually. Cuddling, I mean. Although I know many can't afford a professional cuddler (yes, it's a thing, I'm one), especially on a regular basis, group cuddle events (or cuddle parties) are more affordable and more broadly available (Cuddle Party is actually a hosting company, and Meetup.com sometimes has some listed, though Meetup can be fussy about showing you things sometimes). There's also a site called Cuddle Comfort that basically does cuddle "hookups," though I have no personal experience with it.
The downside is that for legal reasons, cuddle services currently are only available to legal adults. Legislation hasn't caught up yet, at least in the US.
The list will obviously not be fully usable by everyone, though. It's just "these are things that can help, take what you can/want from it." careful you don't dismiss useful things just because some items won't work for you.
Hey,
Well, thanks you for this.
Well, thanks you for this.
Oh! Sometimes you can also volunteer at an animal shelter, and both volunteering and actual jobs cuddling babies (usually those in sad situations) has been a growing thing. You'd get your own oxytocin boost, plus the satisfaction of knowing you're really helping.
Well, I'm literaly looking at this. I was dumbfounded it was a thing.
I believe it's isn't something that is done in my country, and truth be told, as I'm supportive of this, I'm not believing I'm qualified for this, even if it was as volunteer, even less being pay for it.
I would, but I'm sadly an ankward person.
I know nothing about babies. Maybe I would be good enough forthem, but I'm not sure, I wouldn't say I'm the best.
And when I say I know nothing, I'm talking about actual babies, not reading some books about babies, this isn't actual knowing. I mean, I hadn't any young sibling to take care for, nor even a so young cousin to.
I believe it's isn't something that is done in my country, and truth be told, as I'm supportive of this, I'm not believing I'm qualified for this, even if it was as volunteer, even less being pay for it.
I would, but I'm sadly an ankward person.
I know nothing about babies. Maybe I would be good enough forthem, but I'm not sure, I wouldn't say I'm the best.
And when I say I know nothing, I'm talking about actual babies, not reading some books about babies, this isn't actual knowing. I mean, I hadn't any young sibling to take care for, nor even a so young cousin to.
@RedLantern, babies are incredibly social creatures. As long as you can just hold them, it can do wonders for their developing psychological state. At such a young age, they are all about touch and contact.
So, as long as you can hold something, you don't have to know anything about them! Holding them in the 'correct' way is very simple, it's just a matter of making sure their neck is supported and being gentle. It can be demonstrated to you very easily.
Holding babies is the best thing ever. And I'm not just saying that because I love babies! It is actually proven, as Novalynn pointed out, to be a great oxytocin boost (read; happiness levels go up!).
To a baby, just being held is everything. Even little gestures can mean the world to others
So, as long as you can hold something, you don't have to know anything about them!
Holding them in the 'correct' way is very simple, it's just a matter of making sure their neck is supported and being gentle. It can be demonstrated to you very easily.Holding babies is the best thing ever. And I'm not just saying that because I love babies! It is actually proven, as Novalynn pointed out, to be a great oxytocin boost (read; happiness levels go up!).
To a baby, just being held is everything. Even little gestures can mean the world to others
You would be taught. You'd never just be put in a room and told "go hold these super fragile creatures." You would be shown how to hold them, probably told about hygiene requirements, and trained in anything else important.
With a baby, social awkwardness doesn't matter at all. It takes months for them to even see clear images or comprehend that something they can't see still exists. They don't know anything about socializing. Science has proven over and over though that babies are not just comforted by being held, it literally affects their health - helping them to grow better, strengthening their immune system, and kickstarting basic social concepts and ease. Seriously, just touching a baby makes it healthier. And the babies who are in such programs don't have anyone else. These are babies that require extra care (such as those born with addictions) or who don't have parents present (orphans, those given to adoption, even some simply abandoned), and the nurses don't have the time to just sit and hold them all for extended periods of time.
I'm sure that many countries indeed don't have such programs set up, though... which is unfortunate. I'm also not sure how best to look into it. Look around though, maybe ask at some hospitals if they're familiar with any programs, and go from there. I wish you luck.
With a baby, social awkwardness doesn't matter at all. It takes months for them to even see clear images or comprehend that something they can't see still exists. They don't know anything about socializing. Science has proven over and over though that babies are not just comforted by being held, it literally affects their health - helping them to grow better, strengthening their immune system, and kickstarting basic social concepts and ease. Seriously, just touching a baby makes it healthier. And the babies who are in such programs don't have anyone else. These are babies that require extra care (such as those born with addictions) or who don't have parents present (orphans, those given to adoption, even some simply abandoned), and the nurses don't have the time to just sit and hold them all for extended periods of time.
I'm sure that many countries indeed don't have such programs set up, though... which is unfortunate. I'm also not sure how best to look into it. Look around though, maybe ask at some hospitals if they're familiar with any programs, and go from there. I wish you luck.
Meh, I don't need those. I've already got a strong will and heart.
I'm about as stubborn as a mule!
(Although it would be nice to have a human being to cuddle instead of my dog all the time. ;-; )
I'm about as stubborn as a mule!
(Although it would be nice to have a human being to cuddle instead of my dog all the time. ;-; )
Thanks for posting this Celestina! It's good to have a reminder every now and then. I certainly needed that this morning.
@Other comments:
This list was designed to give you an idea or two about things you can do to break out of a cycle where you're stuck feeling poorly. You can take any number of tips from the list and apply them where appropriate (even just one!). It's perfectly normal to need to skip some because they're not doable, instead you can focus on the ones you can do!
Needing to go through a list like this also isn't a sign of weakness or lacking a in willpower - everyone struggles every now and then, and that's not just okay, that's perfectly human. Things like this help to ground you and work through these harder moments by adding small accomplishments into your day. It's surprisingly effective and can help change your perspective when you get stuck. It won't solve all your problems, but it does give you a little boost to work on finding those solutions.
I certainly needed that this morning.@Other comments:
This list was designed to give you an idea or two about things you can do to break out of a cycle where you're stuck feeling poorly. You can take any number of tips from the list and apply them where appropriate (even just one!). It's perfectly normal to need to skip some because they're not doable, instead you can focus on the ones you can do!
Needing to go through a list like this also isn't a sign of weakness or lacking a in willpower - everyone struggles every now and then, and that's not just okay, that's perfectly human.
Things like this help to ground you and work through these harder moments by adding small accomplishments into your day. It's surprisingly effective and can help change your perspective when you get stuck. It won't solve all your problems, but it does give you a little boost to work on finding those solutions.
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